Aaron & Jackson: How To Save A Life
by Dayne Dinning
Summary: Can Jackson Walsh save a life? *Story rated M due to the topic in this story*
1. Lost Soul

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"Lost Soul"**

* * *

_Aaron hasn't met Jackson – yet! _

_This fic is rated M for the topic involved in this story. Just a short chapter to kick it off_

* * *

_**-June 2011-**_

Aaron grinned at his open suit case on the floor by his bed, he was going on holiday with Adam to Ibiza in a few days and seeing the lashing down rain outside his window it made him feel smug that he was going abroad and all those mugs in the village weren't.

He did have to work though, unfortunately, in the pissing down rain but it was his last day. Cain had oh so kindly gave him the day before he travelled off just to sort out things. But Aaron knew it was only cause he didn't want him around the place any longer than he needed to be but he didn't care what his uncle thought of him, he knew he despised him and he really couldn't give a stuff, Aaron also knew he was only letting him keep his job at the garage because of Chas' pleas. He smirked; he had her wrapped around his little finger.

When he looked back out at the pouring rain he groaned and headed out to work, stepping over bottles, takeaway boxes, crushed empty cans of lager and clothes on his way out; all was not well in Smithy cottage.

…

Aaron sauntered up the forecourt to the garage and when Cain had caught sight of him he rolled his eyes. "Jesus look at the state of you"

Aaron chuckled. "Party last night wasn't it?"

Cain looked at him disapprovingly and he scrunched up his nose "And you stink too" something which Aaron chose to ignore. "Late one I gather, having any lad you could get I imagine"

"More than one, you know me so well" Aaron told him with a very proud of himself expression plastered on his face, but his uncle again looked disgusted.

"Dirty rat" Cain told him with the shake of his head and it was meant seriously.

Aaron frowned and looked around and saw a young scrawny nervous looking lad, he shot a look at Cain. "Who's he?" and upon Aaron's snappy tone the young lad shied away and put his head down and continued working.

"Well if you turned in yesterday you'd know he's the new starter, he's good with cars, his dads a mate and he owns a garage in town but can't take him on cause he's got enough staff, anyway leave him alone, he's a good lad, punctual and a lot better than you"

"Pfft right, okay" Aaron said as he rolled his eyes.

"Ey! Don't get smart with me lad!" Cain growled.

"Right, fine…I'll get to work, you need to calm down you" Aaron said with a smirk as he got to work.

A few minutes later Cain walked over to him Aaron he had to go on an errand and he was to watch Tom, the new lad.

"So I'm a babysitter now am I?"

Cain scoffed. "I wouldn't leave you looking after a kid if you were the other only man alive" he told him sharply as he walked off.

Aaron didn't care though and he simply smiled but his smile faded when Tom quietly spoke. "What?" he snapped.

"C-Can you help me with this please? My dad showed me once but I-I can't remember" he explained with his eyes downcast.

Aaron scowled. "How old are you? You look about ten"

"I'm sixteen"

"Sixteen" Aaron repeated as he leaned down and as he did, something fell from his upper jacket pocket. Tom frowned and reached down and picked it up. Aaron had to double take before he realised Tom was holding his stuff.

"I-It fell from your pocket…"Tom told him quickly and very, very nervously and he jumped slightly when Aaron snatched the small bag of white powder from his hand.

Menacingly Aaron leaned in getting into Tom's face. "I think you'll find that's mine" he told him with warning as he stuffed it back into his pocket.

"D-do your family know that you do drugs?" Tom asked bravely.

"I have no idea what you mean"

Tom frowned. "I might be sixteen but I know what that stuff is Aaron, I'm not stupid"

Aaron grinned. "Well I'd be really surprised if they didn't know by now"

"Why?" Tom asked with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Why?" Aaron spat. "Because I want too and to be honest it's nothing to do with you so keep your nose out yeah?"

Tom swallowed hard and bowed his head, nodding it quickly at the same time.

"Good" Aaron said and returned his attentions to helping him.

Cain returned twenty minutes later with a right face on him. "Aaron! I told you to send that invoice!" he growled angrily.

"Oh I forgot, sorry" he told him with a, I couldn't care less attitude.

"You're sorry! That client is one of our best and he's really pissed at us, if we lose him I'll kill you"

Aaron sighed and slammed his tools down. "Ahh you know what, stuff this, it's just a poxy invoice, I'm going to the pub" he snapped and started to turn away. "I don't need this!"

"An invoice that was needed a month ago and no you're not! You're barred, remember?"

"No I'm not"

"Ahh mummy had a word with Diane did she?"

Aaron nodded as he walked off.

"If you walk off this forecourt, that's it! I mean it!"

"Then that's it Cain!" he was off.

Cain shook his head and sighed. "He's getting worse" he grumbled to himself but Tom was able to hear him, and he understood because of what he'd discovered earlier.

TBC…


	2. Red

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"Red"**

* * *

_**I'm trouble  
Yeah trouble now  
I'm trouble ya'll  
I disturb my town  
I'm trouble  
Yeah trouble now  
I'm trouble ya'll  
I got trouble in my town**_

_**Song Belongs To P!nk**_

* * *

As soon as Aaron walked into the pub the chatter stopped and everyone's attention diverted to him, just like he expected. Aaron frowned as he walked to the bar. Chas forced a smile as she approached the bar. "Pint…love?" she asked as she took a proper look at him, he was pale, the bags under his eyes were terrible and he was beginning to look like he hadn't eaten in months, of course she and everyone else knew why, the drug addiction he had gotten himself caught in, his clothes didn't smell too good either but she tried not to show her disgust and when Aaron nodded she started pouring his pint.

Chas had tried on so many occasions over the last year to get him to stop, otherwise it would get worse, naturally someone like Aaron, so headstrong hadn't listened and told her to stop mithering him, it was up to him; now as she looked at her son, the worst was beginning she could see it.

Aaron frowned and took a deep breath. "Keep that for me" he said as he started to walk away.

"Aaron…" Chas pleaded. "Don't…" Aaron simply sighed and walked back out of the pub, and quickly walked around the side of it, someone passing would see but he didn't care. Aaron lit the joint that was in his hand and started smoking it as he rested against the building, looking up at the sky as he did so.

Adam was walking up to the pub when he saw him; he sighed and ran up to him. Aaron instantly saw him and grumbled. When Adam stopped in front he took the joint from his hand and flung it. "OI!" Aaron yelled and reached down and picked it up.

"You said you'd stopped, and don't give me that crap, if that's a roly then it's a bit bloody thick" Adam spat angrily. "I can smell it Aaron it stinks!"

"Get out my face Adam!"

"If this is an indication of what our holiday is going to be like then I'm not going, I've been through it with Holly and I can't do it again! I don't care if you're my best mate"

Aaron rolled his eyes "Fine I'll go myself"

"Fine do what you want! I've been there for you, I've tried to help you but you won't listen, what you're doing to yourself is slowly going to kill you!"

In a fit of rage Aaron went mad "AND YOU KNOW WHY I DO IT!" he screamed, a scream that was tinged with sadness and clear anger at Adam until he was red in the face and the veins in his neck were bulging, when he stopped he was panting hard, clearly still angry.

Adam shook his head "Well…" he stepped back. "None of us approve and neither will he"

"I know everyone knows now Adam and I don't care, this is my life, the way I want it to be, the path it's taken"

"Okay Aaron, enjoy your holiday. You know what, you're pathetic! You're slowly losing everyone …the path hasn't chosen you" Adam spat angrily. "You chose it, if that's the way you want it to be, keep doing what you're doing, but only you can change things"

"Well I don't want too"

"Dig your own grave then mate, I'll ask Ashley to find you a plot shall I?" Adam snapped as he walked away then disappeared around the corner into the pub.

"Get stuffed!" Aaron shouted after him and continued to smoke.

…

Minutes later Aaron walked back into the pub, Carl frowned at him instantly. "Nice aftershave"

"Ha funny" Aaron pulled a sarcastic grin. "Do one!"

"Aaron!" Chas yelled. "Your pint"

Aaron smiled and walked over to the bar and sat down in the corner. "Cheers mum"

Chas smiled nervously. "Anymore of your antics and I'll bar you myself, understood?"

Aaron smiled genuinely now and nodded. "Yeah, course, there won't be"

Chas nodded, accepting that then moved away to serve other customers, leaving him propped up on a stool in the corner of the bar.

However Aaron's mood worsened dramatically after a while of putting up with stares and people whispering about him, he knew they were and the paranoia from coming down wasn't helping whatsoever, with doing drugs for so long he knew the signs but it didn't stop him from going mad, in an instant he slammed his fourth half full pint glass down onto the bar and got down off the stool, and as expected attention was on him. "Surprising, I thought you were all talking about me anyway"

"Aaron, don't" Chas growled from the till.

Aaron shot a look in her direction, a scowl clear on his face. "What? It's true isn't it? Oh but they shut up now don't they?" he asked as he started laughing. "You all think it's okay to judge…right then well let's see shall we?"

Carl stepped forward. "Maybe you should just sit down mate"

"Eh? As if, nah it's about time I had my fill of judging people…I'll start with you shall I?" he asked and Carl simply shrugged his shoulders as he looked at Chas. "Self-centred cheating moron" then he looked over at Cain and started laughing. "Call yourself my uncle? Ha…you're nowhere near mate, you are pathetic"

Cain rolled his eyes and shook his head. "I don't want to be called that when you're concerned" he told him but otherwise he didn't rise to it.

Aaron then shrugged himself and looked at Betty. "Ahh" he grinned. "The village gossip…and the rest of you on that table" he added as he looked at Pearl and Alan who obviously were shocked and feigned complete innocence at Aaron's declaration.

Aaron then started moving around, the pub was in complete silence, he stopped and looked down at Val, Eric, David and Amy. "Hmm…you Val…hmmm…motor mouth sums you up pretty much"

Eric sighed. "If someone doesn't remove him, I will" he growled.

Ignoring Eric he pressed on and he looked at David. "Well you're hot, I'll give you that but that's all you have going for ya…oh yeah except your shop…might get more customers if you lowered your prices…"

"Aaron just go and sit down mate yeah?" David told him.

"I'm not your mate" he spat angrily. "I'm nobody's mate here" then he swung around and looked at Adam who was sat with Holly, John and Moira. "Isn't that right Adam? Hmm…"

"Hey! That's enough right" John rose his voice. "I know it's been hard for you Aaron, but this is ridiculous now…the drugs, the alcohol the endless string of men, you're hurting still and that's fine but doing what you're doing is far from fine…"

"Oh!" Aaron crossed his arms and nodded. "You know me now do ya? You actually give a damn…well I don't want it and when I told your son that…seems we're not mates anymore and I don't care, all I need is myself"

"Yeah well toodle off and take yourself out of here then" Adam told him angrily.

"And if I don't? What? You gunna hit me Farmboy?" Aaron asked as he laughed. "Come on then"

Adam angrily got to his feet but John wasn't far behind him to hold him back. "That isn't Aaron speaking, I know it's horrible to see and he is your mate, we all know that but j-just don't give him the satisfaction" John spoke quietly in his son's ear.

Adam then furiously grabbed his jacket and moved round from the table shoving into Aaron on his way out.

Aaron looked around and his eyes stopped at Alicia.

"Oh come on then, what you got to say about me big man?"

Aaron simply smirked. "Slag"

"Excuse me? I'm not"

"Well…" he shrugged. "You certainly look like one"

At that comment Alicia turned away from him and pulled up her top a little more.

Chas wiped the tears from her eyes. "Right Aaron get out"

"Oh you want me to get out do ya?"

"I do" she replied and at the same time Carl walked over to him causing Aaron to laugh. "Just try it"

"I'm not scared of you Aaron, you've shown yourself up and your mum, you think that's fair do ya?"

Aaron shrugged which angered Carl and he grabbed Aaron by the collar. "You're a disgusting excuse for a son!"

"Yeah course I am, just like you are a dad!"

Carl angrily pushed him away, he wasn't worth it. "Get out of this pub now" Chas warned him slowly but made herself very clear.

"Yeah and consider yourself disowned aswell!" Cain yelled and looked across the pub to his dad who simply gave a nod.

Aaron scrunched his face and shrugged. "I'm not a Dingle anyway…"

"And that's the thanks we get?" Chas asked. "You make me physically sick Aaron and a mother should never say that about her son!"

"Well you've said worse" he shrugged it off and started walking off but ended up stumbling out and falling on Pearl who was sat on the bench seat by the door. "Ugh get off me!" she grimaced as she pushed him away.

"You need to sort him out Chas this isn't good enough, he's terrorizing everyone!" Declan told her from across the bar.

"I know" Chas said as he sobbed. "I know…I know"

Alicia then looked up at her. "Two days ago he kicked our Jakey's ball through David's window! After snatching it from him! But no, Aaron can't do any wrong though can he? And he's just knocked into Pearl for god sake. None of us can take this anymore alright, everyone except a few daren't say anything well I am now okay! I'm sorry for making you upset even more I am but you need to sort him out before someone else tries to and not in a good way, and it's not a threat either"

Chas nodded, she understood she really did but she couldn't face everyone's eyes on her anymore so she turned and ran out the back crying.

Alicia sighed and shook her head.

"Alright everyone" Marlon began as he rubbed his forehead, just like everyone he couldn't believe what had just happened. "Next drinks free" he declared. "Apologies to everyone"

"Don't apologise for him" Cain grumbled.

"Somebody has too!" Marlon replied angrily as he leaned over the bar getting in his face, a brave move any time but he still did it nevertheless. "He's just a kid for god sake! Regardless of what he's doing or what he's on! He's just a kid!"

Cain scoffed. "Trust you to feel sorry for him"

"Yeah well unlike some I'd love to mention I haven't forgotten why he's in this mess!" he told him angrily and pushed himself away and moved to serve customers.

…

Stepping over all the rubbish upon returning to Smithy Aaron grabbed the white dusted mirror from the kitchen table and walked through to the living room and sat down. He placed the mirror on the coffee table and pulled out the bag of cocaine and poured some onto the mirror then he rummaged for his wallet and pulled out a card, it didn't matter which one and started making a line…

It didn't take long until he was high as a kite and deafening music blasted through the cottage as he zipped around the place tidying up. A little while later he started to come down but he was impressed, the place was tidy again, he grabbed a can of lager from the fridge and walked into the living room and slumped down onto the sofa, he pulled out his phone from his pocket and sent an invitation for one of his 'mates' to come over.

When the knock on the front door came a while later Aaron jumped up to go and answer it, he was sweating and shaky but he didn't want to use anymore until his friend arrived, and now it looked he had. Smiling, he answered the door but that smile fell instantly at the sight of three built up skin heads on the doorstep…

* * *

**TBC…**

_**I'm not going to give anything away about anything at the moment. I'll see what the reviews say haha but what I will say is that answers will be given soon! **_


	3. Insight

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"Insight"**

* * *

Aaron swallowed hard at the sight of them; he looked at them all before finally looking at Rob in the middle, the ring leader, the guy he needed to worry about.

"Well your times up Aaron…so err…hand it over" Rob told him as he glared at him.

Aaron nodded and walked into the kitchen and reached on top of one of the cupboards and grabbed a small black bag and walked back to the doorway and pulled out a wod of money and handed it over. He blew out a shaky breath as he watched Rob standing counting it, then suddenly Rob's demeanour changed and he barged in and pushed Aaron aggressively to the point he was lying back on the stairs with Rob's hand gripped around his neck. "You're five hundred short!" he screamed in his face then moved his hand.

Aaron nodded quickly as he held his hand to his throat. "Y-Yeah I-I know but there's fifteen hundred there, t-that's all I could get"

Rob growled. "You're messing me about!"

"No, No I'm not I swear, I-…I'll get it"

Rob sighed, took out a larger, thick bag of cocaine and threw it into Aaron's lap "You've got one week from today" he told him as he turned pulling the door closed with him.

"W-wait!" Aaron yelled then Rob stopped and turned to face him. "What's this? Like you said I'm five hundred short"

Rob chuckled and then grinned. "Yes but you need it don't you little boy?" Aaron nodded quickly. "Well then I know you'll pay me, if not I'll have to hurt ya"

"No! No…course I'll pay it"

Rob leaned down and gave Aaron three gentle slaps on the face. "Good lad, one week"

Aaron swallowed hard and nodded and when they left the house Aaron rested back onto the stairs with his eyes closed, allowing the cold fresh air to calm him. "Alright?" Aaron then shot up and looked out of the open door and saw Sam, a smirk crept onto his lips upon seeing him. "I am now yeah"

"I wouldn't worry about them…as long as you pay them they're fine"

"Y-yeah…"

"Gunna invite me in or what?" Sam asked with a smile.

"You know you don't need inviting in…" Aaron told him then bit his lip; he got to his feet and started walking up the stairs. "Lock the door behind you"

Sam did as he was told, then followed him up to the bedroom, a room he was becoming familiar with.

A long while later Sam was standing up out of bed getting dressed again looking down at Aaron still lying naked. "That was…fun" he told him with a grin.

Aaron sat up nodding. "Certainly was…its gunna be bad come down…"

"Ahh I'll be home before that, it'll be fine…" Sam replied then took out his wallet and took out a few fifty pound notes and put them on the bedside table.

"Where'd you get all that?" Aaron wondered.

"Started dealing didn't I? Very, very good business"

Aaron raised his eyebrows.

"You should start…pay those guys off and be done with them"

Aaron shook his head. "Nah I'm not getting into that…I'll just keep doing this…got a good arrangement with a few lads so…"

"Oh well…you're worth the money at the end of the day" he told him with a wink as Aaron got up and pulled on his joggers

"I'll see ya out"

Sam nodded and they both left the bedroom and just as he was leaving Chas stormed past him and into the house, a face of thunder. Aaron quickly closed the door and followed her into the kitchen. "I was expecting this place to be a tip"

"It was… Why are you here? You never come in here"

Chas turned and gave him one hell of a smack to the face. "Argh!" he cried out. "That was for today" she spoke angrily through gritted teeth while pointing right at him.

Aaron shrugged. "Well it's been a long time coming"

"And so was that slap I just gave you!" she shouted. "And who was that then? One of your lads?"

"Yeah, so"

"You're disgusting"

"Pays the bills, garage pay is nothing"

"That's cause you're hardly there"

"Can't stand the bloke that's why"

"Right so, on top of drug addiction you're probably riddled too"

Aaron scowled. "No, I have heard of the condom, thank you"

"Still, a bit cheap and sleazy isn't it?"

"Well I love sex, what can I say? Wonder who I got that from?"

"Watch your mouth!" she warned him.

"Or what? You'll slap me again, just get out, I can't be arsed with you" he told her.

"No"

"This is MY house, and I want you to leave!" he screamed.

"Your house?" she scoffed. "You know you should consider yourself lucky, you'd never be able to afford a place like this if events hadn-" she stopped instantly.

"No…go on"

Chas shook her head.

"Fine I will! If events that had happened, didn't! You know what mum? I wish it never happened! HE'D STILL BE ALIVE! And the only reason I got this house is because it was left for me in his will! I didn't ask for this! I didn't ask for any of it! But shit happens!"

Chas angrily slapped him again. "If he could see you now"

"Well he can't can he?!"

"No! But it isn't my fault, it isn't Pearl's, it isn't Cain's, it isn't anyone's and it certainly isn't little Jake's either! You go around so full of hate and god knows why" she shrugged her shoulders. "We didn't kill him"

Aaron shook his head while he began to pace the floor "You were wrong before-"

"Oh not this again Aaron; it wasn't his fault"

"YES" he hissed. "It was! And as for disowning me, GOOD, I don't want to be associated with any of you anymore; Cain killed the only person who's ever cared about me! And this is where my grief has led me too"

"And whose fault is that?" Chas spat angrily.

"…Mine!" Aaron yelled as tears fell from his eyes.

"That's right and because of all these drugs your taking…who do you have left?" Aaron shook his head and stepped back, sniffling every few seconds. "HMM?"

"Just go"

"Today you went too far, you pushed me too far and now son…you have nobody, we've all tried this past year to help you, to get you off the drugs…Holly! Holly's even tried, to the better judgement of her parents…what does that say to you eh? She knows that's what it says, she went through it all! It kills people Aaron…"

Aaron shrugged. "Maybe that's the point"

"You don't know what you're saying"

Aaron shrugged as he sat down on the kitchen floor with his back against a cupboard door; Chas frustratingly pulled out a chair and sat down at the table looking down at him. "Do you really think I want to give up on you?"

"You have before so it's not going to surprise me mum"

Silent tears ran down her face as she spoke. "Your life could have been so different, yes Paddy died, it shocked the entire village but you and Marlon more, understandably, but drugs Aaron?"

"I'm not talking about this anymore"

"Okay, fine, fair enough…whatever, you, want...but…one question and think carefully…will you get help, for me, please?"

Aaron thought about it, he had hundreds of times when everybody had pleaded with him separately or together over the last year and now he was being asked again, he swallowed hard before shaking his head.

"Why?" Chas snapped.

"Because I don't want to stop, how many times mum?"

Chas nodded and got to her feet. "Then you are also dead to me. Don't speak to me if you see me…don't even look at me…you know Aaron one day you will get a shock, something enough to make you stop, hell someone maybe that will make you want to stop but when that day comes I won't be there to see it, this is killing me but I can't cope with you anymore, you take it too far…and what makes it worse is that you know the risks, but you're just in too deep and we all can't reach" she stopped and wiped the tears away from her eyes. "I love you Aaron, I always have and I always will but I don't want any part in your slow death"

It was a perfect opportunity for a witty comeback but none came and Aaron just stared ahead, blank with tears in his eyes and he let her leave.

* * *

**TBC…**


	4. There's Something About Aaron

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"There's Something About Aaron"**

* * *

The apartment complex was noisy, music played all day, alcohol was served all day and the place was filled with young people nineteen, his age and older, the complex was aimed at the 18-30 age group though, for the party goers, which was what Aaron was. He lay on his lounger by the pool basking in the midday sun. When he first got to the hotel he realised how weird it was being on holiday alone but he hadn't thought about it since, it was Adam's choice not to go, that wasn't his problem so he wasn't going to let it bother him. After a while he decided to hit the beach, he got up and headed out, the hotel was on the beach front so he only had to cross the promenade and down the steps to the sand but as he stepped down onto the first step he stopped and saw a cliff face where tourists were jumping off into the water down below, he grinned, he wanted some of that! Turning back he started the walk, he knew it would take a while but the jump would be well worth it.

By the time he reached the popular jumping spot there was nobody around and he grinned and excitement filled him like it would a five year old. He stepped to the edge and looked down over the edge at the seventy foot drop, he couldn't wait!

"You must be mad"

Aaron frowned at the voice but kept his gaze down over the edge. "Nah, perfectly sane actually"

"Wouldn't catch me doing that"

Aaron's frown deepened, why the hell was someone talking to him? But when he turned and saw those eyes staring back at him with a cheeky grin…well he'd seen and been with many men, but only a few of those lads held an attraction, and he was most definitely attracted to the lad in front of him. "Well why are you up here then? For a picnic?" Aaron asked.

"Do you see a picnic basket?" he chuckled. "My mates are following behind, thought I watch from here"

"Ah right…well if you don't mind I'm gunna jump now" he told the stranger as he walked away from him, then he stopped and turned towards the edge, it was several metres away. Aaron took a deep breath and started to run.

"Mind those rocks at the bottom yeah?"

Aaron stopped himself and let out an annoyed sigh. "Do you mind? They wouldn't let people jump if it was dangerous now would they?"

The stranger smirked. "Course not"

Aaron rolled his eyes but at the same time wondered if this guy was gay, the way he kept looking at his naked upper body and legs told him he was, when he started walking back again he stretched flexing the muscles in his arms, he smirked as he did it, he liked giving a show after all and if the lad was gay he'd appreciate it. Aaron turned around again and sure enough he was being looked at, he didn't mind though he loved the attention. "This time…now be quiet" he told him and started running.

"I'm Jackson by the way!" he yelled out as he watched the young lad making his run for it.

"Nice name!" Aaron yelled back as his feet left the ground and he was now in the air, his body suddenly making the fall down to the water very quickly.

Jackson watched from above with a smile then seconds later he simply heard the splash. "Oi what you looking at?"

Jackson turned and saw Sol and Joe walking up. "Someone took a jump, pretty impressive"

"Enough to persuade ya then?" Joe asked.

"Oh go on then" Jackson finally agreed.

"Told you he would once he was up here" Sol told Joe with a _i knew it _look on his face.

Jackson looked back down and saw the lad swimming off.

…

Aaron had been showered and dressed for about ten minutes but before he left to head out to a bar he had to have his fix and with him going out he prepared three lines and stuffed the small bag into his pocket and zipped it up. He leaned down and snorted them.

After a short walk he found a rowdy bar and had now been in for an hour or so, he was high as a kite, the feelings of euphoria and self-confidence at an all-time high. He was downing plenty of pints of lager and whether he knew it or not, cocaine and alcohol was not a good mix, if he did know then he didn't care, he was having fun that was all that mattered. The club was for gays that much had been obvious as soon as he walked in and the looks he got added to the manufactured self confidence that was produced by the cocaine. He was on the dance floor dancing with a random young lad, dancing was something Aaron never did but at the moment he seemed unaware of what he was actually doing, he was burning up but more swigs of the cold lager helped.

Jackson's eyes narrowed as he looked across the room then when he was sure it was the lad from earlier he got up leaving Sol and Joe to talk amongst themselves. He made his way through the crowds of people filling the dance floor, he stopped behind the raving stranger and Jackson couldn't help but smirk, he then reached out and tapped him on the shoulder and Aaron instantly stopped dancing and turned around. "So" Jackson grinned. "How's the daredevil then?"

"I'm sorry?" Aaron replied as he breathed heavily, the sweat running down his pale face.

"Oh erm, we met this afternoon before you jumped"

"Oh J-James was it?"

"Jackson"

"Ah right yeah, hi..."

"Hi" Jackson said with a chuckle then he frowned slightly. "Are you okay?"

"Who? What me?" Jackson simply nodded; the lad's behaviour seemed erratic. "Oh err yeah, yeah, fine just a bit-" he swallowed hard. "A bit breathless, dizzy you know…"

"Drunk then?"

"That too" Aaron smiled. "You know…I-I did wonder if you were gay, thought I saw you checking me out…obviously now I know you are"

"And you too…wasn't expecting that but hey…you're not so bad are ya?"

Aaron smiled and shook his head, the effects of his cocaine giving him a sense of confidence. "No I'm not, and a good shag aswell"

"Well aren't you full of yourself" Jackson chuckled.

"Nobody else is going to big me up are they?"

"I dunno, where's your mates?"

Aaron looked around then turned back to Jackson. "What mates?"

That was a bit surprising; a young lad in Ibiza all alone, Jackson thought it was a bit strange. "You're alone?"

"Yep" he replied with a grin.

"I'm not usually one for these club holidays but my mates roped me in and well…I'm here…"

"And why are you here with me then?" Aaron asked with a smirk.

"That's because I find you more interesting right now…and I'd rather stay with you"

Aaron pouted. "Oh right erm…hotels not far if that's what you mean…"

Jackson smirked "The nights still young…" was all he said. Jackson had never been one for one night stands but, there was something about this perfect stranger

Aaron chuckled "It certainly is…I'm Aaron by the way"

Jackson nodded approvingly. "Nice name" Jackson spent the rest of the night with Aaron, they talked, laughed, drank until they were both incredibly drunk or in Aaron's case more so. Jackson didn't put Aaron's hyper activeness down to anything other than that was the way he was and he liked it, but Aaron did disappear every half hour or there about and reappear ten minutes later, it was just the amounts he was drinking he assumed, how wrong was he?

It was three am when Aaron left the club ahead of Jackson and he missed his footing and started to fall but through his drunken state Jackson managed to catch him and pull him up. Aaron was held up close to Jackson and he stared into his brown eyes. "So are you coming back to my room?"

"How about you come to mine?" Jackson asked with a smirk.

Aaron nodded. "Alright then, lead the way"

"You're sure you're alright too though? You really don't look too well"

"It's not your job to be concerned about me alright, let's just go back to your hotel"

Jackson nodded with a smile. "A-alright"

The following morning Aaron woke up in a sweat, he felt ill but he was used to it, not that it made it any easier to deal with though. He groggily sat up and the thumping in his head worsened to the point he held both hands protectively around it. He closed his eyes and blew out a deep breath then looked at the fine man next to him, he pouted, very impressed then he lifted up the bed sheet to get a better look and his eyebrows raised, _wow… _he thought to himself. He had no memory whatsoever of the night before and when he started to wonder who did who he didn't need to think for long. "Well you definitely did me didn't ya?" he mumbled as he winced in pain and slowly got out of bed, his backside hurt like hell.

Aaron then quietly set about picking up his abandoned clothes off the floor and then left the bedroom and crossed the small hallway to the bathroom and started getting dressed, he didn't manage to actually dress though, his face was in the toilet before he knew it and he was vomited badly, when it was over it left him feeling worse and he slumped back until he was sprawled down on the cold tiled bathroom floor, normally the coldness would have been a shock to the bare skin but his temperature was through the roof so it was a welcomed sensation and his eyes started to close, he'd never felt this bad before, he opened his eyes again and reached over and rummaged into the pockets of his jeans until he found it and pulled out the dusted bag, he rolled his eyes, it was no wonder he felt so bad, he'd used the lot. The next thing he was aware of was the bathroom door sliding open and he hid the bag back in one of his pockets. "Aaron?"

Aaron's eyes widened and he sat up quickly.

"Woah, mate are you alright?"

"Uh, yeah" Aaron replied quickly as he stumbled to his feet grabbing his clothes. Jackson frowned as he watched him then walked further into the room and held him by his shoulders and guided him to sit down on the toilet. "No you're not, I've seen hangovers, I've had hangovers, I've got one now and I drank just as much as you…your on something aren't ya?"

Aaron scoffed. "Didn't take you long to realise eh?"

Jackson sighed and hung his head.

"I was, I'm not now"

"So you're crashing back to the surface then?"

"Pretty much" Aaron said as he wiped his forehead. "Look I-I'm just gunna take my stuff to the bedroom, get dressed then I'm off" he told him quickly as he pushed himself to his feet then left the room and walked back across the passageway to the bedroom. Once he was dressed he stood for a minute and he could hear the guy wandering around, he rolled his eyes he was fit, shame he couldn't remember he thought but then his eyes cast down onto the man's wallet on the bedside table. He swallowed hard and he turned to the doorway to check he wasn't coming, then when there was no sound he walked around the bed and quickly picked up the wallet and saw some English money and some euros, he picked out all of the notes and stuffed them in his pocket while keeping an eye on the doorway then he looked back down at the wallet and caught sight of a driver's license and he pulled it out. "Jackson" he whispered as he nodded, then placed the wallet back down, where he got it from.

"You off then?" Jackson asked when Aaron emerged from the bedroom.

Aaron smiled nervously and nodded. "Yeah"

"Will I see you again?"

"You want to see me again?" Aaron frowned at his question; Jackson was a picture of perfect, model like, why would he want too? Aaron believed there was nothing wrong with his own lifestyle but he knew others didn't, why would he be any different? He shook his head. "Nah I don't think so"

"Oh right…" Jackson seemed disheartened at Aaron's reply, he liked him, liked him enough to sleep with him and he did remember the night before and they got on, laughed like idiots for hours, _oh well… _he thought to himself.

"Ah come on Jackson, we're on holiday, we're young what do you expect?"

Jackson pouted. "Yeah, fair dos…see ya then"

"Yeah…see ya" Aaron turned and opened the door; he couldn't get out quick enough especially after what he'd just done. He felt no guilt though, after all they weren't in the same hotel and the odds were very slim that he would even see him in Ibiza again, let alone England.

* * *

**TBC…**


	5. Come Undone

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"Come Undone"**

* * *

What a difference a week makes, so they say anyway but Aaron wasn't refreshed, he was the same old Aaron but the holiday was not a waste of money, it was filled with drugs, sex, parties and alcohol, he loved it and now standing by the conveyor belt waiting for his suitcase he decided to go out that night, not that it would have made a difference if he'd not been on holiday or not he would have gone out either way but there was a reason for this one, the holiday spirit, it was still well and truly there. He grinned to himself _something else to look forward to _he thought to himself but when his phone rang he rolled his eyes and sighed, he took it from his jacket pocket and it was his mum, Aaron groaned as he accepted the call.

"Ah! So you ARE okay then? Chas asked. "You do realise how many times I've tried ringing you don't ya?"

"Yep" he said with a sigh.

"So you're obviously back in the country then?"

"Yep" he sighed again. "Looks like it"

"And alive, obviously"

Aaron rolled his eyes. "Well sorry to disappoint but, yes I am" he told her sharply and hung up on her then stepped forward as he saw his suitcase and he quickly grabbed it from the moving belt and walked away through the arrivals door which brought him out at the large main area of the airport where the entrances and exits were. As he stood outside in the warm evening air, his phone rang again, he took it out to see who it was, it was his mum again and he rejected it before signalling for a taxi.

Once he got home he flung all of his clothes in the wash, not that he'd taken many but they'd get done, then he left the washing machine to do its work while he took a shower and got dressed and gave himself his fix, the first of many for the night, it was going to be a big one, yet again. Then, when he eventually got a minute to sit down he felt like he had the flu but it was just a side effect from a big night on cocaine like the previous one was. He shook his head and dropped it in his hands, he could have sat there all night but refused too, his taxi was booked and would be there in twenty minutes. "Time for a quick pint I reckon" he mumbled to himself and walked out of his bedroom. Paddy's room always had the door closed and Aaron never looked at it, he'd never even been in since Paddy's death almost a year ago, he rarely even did when he was alive either but now definitely not, he just couldn't do it.

Walking into the pub all eyes were on him, he rolled his own and stopped at the bar. "Pint please"

Chas walked over with a small smile on her face, she had had time to think over the last week and she regretting telling her own son she was through with him, he must have gotten that from all her voicemails and missed call alerts on his phone but whether he had or not, Aaron wasn't saying anything about it. "Great tan" she told him

Aaron wasn't looking at anyone; he hadn't come in for a row or to cause trouble. He sighed quietly and nodded. "Yep"

Chas sighed and placed his pint down then Aaron, without looking at her handed over a five pound note which she took and walked back to the till, returning seconds later to give him his change, he put it in his pocket and picked his glass up and took a long swig.

"So you're all dressed up?" Adam asked along the bar a few metres away from him.

"Yeah" he said with a frown, still not looking at anyone.

"Going out already? You just got back"

"Not that it has anything to do with you but yes I am"

Adam scoffed and shook his head. "Money from the sale of the surgery is going to run out eventually Aaron"

"Oh well…shows how much you know because I haven't touched that; keep your nose out and fuck off out of my face, I've come in here for a quick pint while I wait for my taxi, that's all so leave me alone"

Tears suddenly ran down Chas' face silently at the sight she saw, through all of his using she had never seen it. "A-Aaron…" she tried to get his attention but it proved pointless. She sniffled and turned and grabbed a tissue and walked over and held it in his view.

Aaron shot up with a frown. "What?" he asked angrily.

"Y-Your nose…" she told him as the tears continued falling. Aaron quickly dabbed his fingers at his nose and they were covered heavily with blood, he swallowed hard and looked away but gratefully took the tissue from his mum. When his nose had stopped bleeding and was cleaned he downed his pint and headed out to the taxi that was waiting, leaving Chas and Adam very, very upset at what they had witnessed.

…

Before heading into bar west he met up with one of his dealers up a side street, took the drugs and paid him and quickly walked away as he stuffed the bag into his jacket pocket. He walked into the busy bar it was loud with music and chatter, he smiled as he ordered a pint and before he even paid for it someone from behind had placed some money down to pay for it, after that Aaron spent some time getting drunk, talking to this guy and then they ended up in the toilets together, in the same cubicle having sex, the feelings from his high and the pleasure from the sex…well he felt like he was on cloud nine, complete ecstasy filled his body as this random was having his way with him.

After that hot encounter the guy left the cubicle but Aaron stayed inside and locked it again then prepared and snorted another two but big lines, not the normal amount but these days it became harder and harder to get an easy high and with the kick from his last fix fading he needed another.

As he left the toilets he could feel the drugs taking an effect, then his usual drug induced happiness came about and he chatted up several men, but one of the lad's boyfriends returned at one point and had smacked him one, but only because Aaron had mouthed off, Aaron hit back obviously then was pulled away by some people, he fought for them to get off him, he screamed and screamed until they did, it left him breathless and as he looked around the crowded bar he felt anxiety, they were all too close to him, too many people and they were all watching him, why were they watching him? The answer to that was they weren't and the very short lived high was turning bad, he blew out a deep breath, he was sweating, he pulled at his shirt and undid a few buttons, he could feel his heartbeat pounding in his chest, he started to panic and he walked as quick as he could to the doors, he didn't feel right.

Outside across the street Adam was watching, waiting for any sign of Aaron, after seeing the nose bleed earlier in the pub he didn't want to leave him, so he was there in town waiting so he wouldn't be alone when his night ended. Adam looked up when he heard the doors to the bar open, it was Aaron…he frowned as he simply watched him but he quickly realised something wasn't right, the wall was keeping him up as he stumbled away from bar west then he started to run across to him when he fell to the ground suddenly, when he reached him his body started jerking, he was having a seizure. "Shit! Aaron! Aaron…" Adam panicked and pulled out his phone and quickly dialled emergency services, once he got through he asked for an ambulance and waited again to the transferred, those few seconds were the longest of his life, as he told the operator what had happened and what he thought he'd taken his hand was gently placed on Aaron's chest, not that it would help at all, but he felt like he was doing something. At this point there was a crowd, that's all Aaron needed! When the call ended Aaron's seizure stopped and his body was still which frightened Adam, he shook him gently. "Aaron! Aaron…mate…" he spoke quickly, his tone panicked as he leaned down to check he was still breathing, thankfully he was.

…

Aaron woke up to see ice packs down the sides of his body, he frowned and sat up, he was alone in a hospital bed, he didn't know how or why he was there, what he did know was that it must have been bad for him to be there but he wasn't staying, not to receive lectures on his lifestyle from so called doctors, people who didn't know him. As he checked to see no one was coming he pulled out the tubes that were in his hands and then pulled away the sticky things on his chest, god knows what they were then he shuffled off the bed and then quickly changed into his clothes that were left for him on a chair. When he opened his door he peaked out to see if the coast was clear, he slyly smiled, no family no nurses or doctors in sight, he left the room and with his head down he found his way to the reception and made a swift exit.

Adam walked back from the canteen five minutes later and when he entered Aaron's room he cursed loudly and ran to find a nurse. "Hi yeah…my mate Aaron Livesy, where is he?"

"Excuse me?" the young nurse asked.

"Aaron Livesy, he's not in his room"

"He's not been scheduled for any tests they were all done through the night-"

Adam sighed loudly and pinched his forehead. "He's done a runner"

"Addicts tend to do that" she told him gently. "He won't be the last"

Suddenly Adam burst into tears. "I don't know what to do anymore, none of us do"

The nurse took him by the arm and guided him off into an empty room. After listening to the nurses' advice Adam still didn't feel any better about it despite how much she had tried to help. Adam took his phone out and text Chas telling her Aaron had done a runner and would most likely be on his way to the village, after he sent it he got up and left the hospital and headed back himself.

Aaron paid the taxi driver and walked up the grassy verge to the front door where Rob stood waiting alone. "Someone doesn't look too good"

"I have your money just let me go in and get it" he told him as Chas was watching from outside the pub.

"No problem" Rob replied.

"Or I could pay in kind?"

"Erm, nah thanks, not my type" Rob said with a frown.

"I'm joking, I do have some standards" Aaron told him as he unlocked the door and stepped in.

Rob chuckled, that didn't seem likely somehow, he knew the kinds of people knew and hung around with, if Aaron thought those people were what defined having standards then he needed to seriously have a rethink about his little mates.

Aaron returned quickly and handed the money over and waited while Rob counted it. He nodded approvingly. "About time too…we're square but what's the extra for?"

"It's for what you're going to hand over to me" he grinned.

Rob rolled his eyes and reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and handed him over a bag which Aaron took quickly, conscious of many people out and about.

"Now we're definitely square"

Aaron nodded. "Good, I'm sorry it took a while"

"It's alright; you came through in the end, just gimme a call if you want more"

"Yeah, will do, see ya" Aaron said then stepped outside and sat on the doorstep and watched Rob walk off.

…

"There's plenty of work involved, times are hard you're young with a business, I trust my contact so I wanna give you a chance"

Jackson smiled back at Declan as they left the pub, walking past Chas as they did. Jackson had no idea he was in the same village as Aaron.

"Yeah times are hard; it took me quite a bit to save for my holiday but it was worth it, sort of"

"Sort of?" Declan asked with a chuckle.

"Had my money nicked didn't I?" he said with a sigh. "Stupid one night stand and…"

"And you left your wallet in view?"

Jackson nodded.

"Ouch…how much?"

"Three hundred English and about two in euros…I regret not taking up the option of having a safe now, I had money in the bank that I could take out but it's not the point"

"No it isn't" Declan replied as Chas walked past them and started up the village.

"AARON!" she yelled in her normal screeching tone.

Declan rolled his eyes. "Bloody kid! Always giving her grief"

"Who?" Jackson asked with a frown then turned to look in the direction Declan was.

Aaron rolled his eyes. "WHAT!" he yelled back.

"You should be in a hospital bed! Not back here!"

"Well it's just tough!" he yelled back down to his mum.

Jackson swallowed hard. "Right we done then? Monday morning yeah?"

"You're going? Thought you said you'd come back to home farm and discuss plans?"

"Y-yeah I did, and I don't mean to bail on purpose but something else has just literally this second come up and it needs dealing with" then on seeing Declan's confusion he continued. "Seems we both know Aaron…"

"…What?"

"He's my one night stand, I-I told you I was gay, if there's a problem…?"

"Oh don't be daft, course there isn't, yeah you get off, see you Monday"

Jackson nodded. "Cheers" he told him and started a very quick walk up the village. "OI!" he screamed. "YOU!" he pointed as he started to run.

Aaron frowned as he looked around and when he saw him his eyes widened and he got up off the doorstep just as his mum was walking along the path and he ran inside and locked the door.

"Woah what the hell is up with you?" Chas asked the lad when she stopped at the door and looked down at him.

"Aaron! That's what's wrong with me!" Jackson told her as he continued walking up to the house.

"What's my son done now?"

"Oh you really don't wanna know"

Chas grumbled and started walking back the way she'd came. "No actually you're right…I don't! Give him a kicking for me while you're at it if you get past the door, god knows he deserves it!"

Jackson ignored Chas as he stormed up to the front door and started banging on it quickly. "Small world eh? Bet you didn't think you'd see me again, well neither did I! If you don't open your door right now I swear to god I'll kick it in!"

"Go to hell!" Aaron yelled from the kitchen.

"Right fine!" Jackson replied as he took some steps back. "You've got-"

"Excuse me!" he was interrupted by a man standing outside further along the building. "I'm trying to run a vetinary surgery here, keep the noise down"

"Sorry to have bothered you but this noise will continue until I get in there!" Jackson snapped back, angrily.

"Well don't bother asking me, the old doorway through was bricked up and the keys were separated on the sale"

"Right…" Jackson nodded then turned his attention back to the house. "You've got three seconds Aaron otherwise I will kick down the door and then once I'm inside I'm calling the police!"

Aaron swallowed hard as he paced the kitchen.

"One!...Two!..."

Let him in or let him kick down his door? It was decision time.

* * *

**TBC…**


	6. Guardian Angel?

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"Guardian Angel?"**

* * *

**Thanks for the feedback so far guys it means a lot, thank you! To my guest reviewers question - i have no idea how long this story will be, there's no plan I just go by chapter by chapter :) **

* * *

"…Three!"

Jackson stepped forward and kicked out his leg but the door opened at the same time and his work boot impacted something a hell of a lot softer than the door and he was horrified when he watched as Aaron fell back onto the stairs, clutching his chest.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry!" he told him quickly as he rushed in and knelt down in front of him.

"It's alright…" he winced as he moved and sat on one of the stairs. "I deserved that but please, please don't call the police"

"Why did you do it?"

Aaron sighed as he rubbed his chest. "I was desperate…I needed it"

"What you need isn't money"

"Oh don't you start!"

"Just come back from the hospital did ya? I heard your mum before…"

"Yeah" Aaron nodded. "Well did a runner, I wasn't staying there"

Jackson rolled his eyes. "Well that's stupid, overdose was it?"

Aaron scrunched his face; he was going to admit that to him. "No!"

"Okay, whatever…Look if you could just pay me back then I'll get out your way"

Aaron sighed and got to his feet and Jackson followed him into the kitchen. He stopped and stared back at Jackson and hung his head in shame before reaching to the back of one of the cupboards and pulled out a pile of money held together by an elastic band and without making eye contact he held it out to Jackson. "Two of god knows how many debts paid today" he told him with a sigh as he turned and walked to the kitchen table and slumped down into a chair. "I'm sorry, I am…but you've got it back, I don't know why you're still stood there…You can leave now"

Jackson bit his lip and dropped the money down onto the table as he too, took a seat. "I liked you Aaron, I don't do one night stands…it's just not me but there was something about you"

"Well your taste is screwed up…liking me…" he scoffed and shook his head; a depression had well and truly kicked in.

"I know I don't know you but even I can see you're on god knows how many drugs and well I'll be honest you look really awful right now"

Aaron shrugged. "Why are you even talking to me? Let me set the ground rules yeah, I don't do talking, I do sexual favours for money…so we can sort out a price and head to the bedroom, it's either that or you get out"

"Ah" Jackson smiled. "Now I get it…that money was payment for you…"

Aaron frowned. "No…I-I just needed it"

"For services rendered, yeah I get it…" Jackson sat back and just watched him, his head and heart were in conflict, he so wanted to get up and leave but on the other hand he wanted to stay, being the caring person he was and always wanting to see the good in people was making him stay…there had to be some good in Aaron, hadn't there? "So now you sell your body aswell as being a druggy?"

Aaron shrugged. "Bedroom or go? Make your mind up!"

"Tell you what…" Jackson started as he pushed the money in front of Aaron. "Keep that; consider it payment for me being here right now on the condition that I leave when I chose too"

Aaron scowled at him and pushed it back. "No chance"

"Well…" Jackson sighed and pushed the money back in front of him. "In your state right now you won't be able to get rid of me, so just keep it…I'm staying"

"Whatever" Aaron grumbled

"I've read about this sort of stuff you know…how long you been using?"

"Far too long to be able to remember" Aaron said sadly.

"Then rather it fulfilling you, you're becoming depressed instead, paranoid, panic attacks, anxiety…"

Aaron raised his eyebrows quickly and nodded in reply.

"There's always a reason why someone goes down this path…what's yours?"

_What kind of an effect is he having on me, bloody hell? _He thought to himself and started speaking. "My dad…well…he wasn't but to me he was, he died nearly a year ago…"

"I'm sorry"

"Don't be"

"How did he die?"

Aaron swallowed hard and he felt anger burn within. "A car crash" he told him and closed his eyes tightly and blew out a deep breath, he wasn't going to get angry or cry.

Jackson reached out to rest his hand on Aaron's arm but as soon as it touched Aaron was up and out of the chair so fast.

"Do not touch me!" he growled.

"Okay, okay…I'm sorry"

Aaron rubbed his face and paced the floor, he had mixed feelings over the effect Jackson was having on him.

"And this was his house?"

Aaron nodded. "Yeah, left it to me…god knows why"

"Because he loved you"

"Right! Stop there yeah, you don't know a thing about me, my life or Paddy so don't come in here thinking you do and what makes you think you have the right to say stuff like that to me?" Aaron was furious and he was in pain, he didn't need Jackson right now, or ever.

"And what gives you the right to steal from someone?" Jackson shot back. "And yeah you needed it! Whatever so did I…it was mine and I was lucky I took my card with me!"

"I told you I'm sorry and you've got it back now so…no harm done, not really…"

"No harm done?" Jackson yelled as he got to his feet. "Course there was Aaron!"

"Eh?"

"You! Filling your body with god knows what! It's killing you, you're lucky you didn't just drop down dead instead of overdosing"

"I didn't overdose"

"Course not, I can see right through you"

Aaron rolled his eyes. "Gold star for you…get out Jackson" Jackson simply shook his head. "You were just a random shag alright? I've had plenty this past year and there'll be more, you're not important, you never were and you certainly won't be…I don't need you in my life"

"If you wanted me out you'd have tried before now"

"That's true but I don't have the energy!" he yelled and stormed out into the living room.

Feeling bad, Jackson got up and walked through and heard him crying. He stopped in the doorway and just watched him sat on the sofa with his head in his hands. "Listen, I know what that night was to you and fair enough I'm over that but there's a reason we saw each other again, I'm a big believer in fate Aaron, so there will be a reason, whatever that is I don't know yet but we'll see…especially as I'm going to be working here now. You might claim you don't need me, great, fine but you need someone and deep down you know that" from those words Aaron's sobs worsened.

"Why?" Aaron asked. "Why would you want to be there for me?"

"Well I had a one night stand with you in another country on holiday because I liked you, how many times do I have to stress that I do not do that?"

Aaron frowned. "Alright but now you know the truth about me, you did the next morning"

"Yeah and I'm betting there's someone in there worth saving"

"I wouldn't waste your time"

"Well you're not me are ya?"

"Clearly not, no" Aaron told him as he moved and lay down on the sofa, now able to see him standing in the doorway. "No one could ever be as perfect as you now could they?"

Jackson just smirked. "Ooh jealous are we? Nobody is perfect alright, so get that into your head"

Aaron sighed. "This is just strange…I dunno what the hell is happening" he told him as he rubbed his eyes.

"Strange listening to a complete stranger over your family and friends, yeah" Jackson nodded. "That is strange"

"Well it's the first and last time I'll actually listen to what you have to say, times up, go do what you do and don't forget the money on the way out"

"Nah, you need it more than me…I saw those final notice letters on the bench…pay them Aaron, don't use it for the drugs…but your silence tells me you probably will"

"I've kept the house this long Jackson alright; I've had red letters before, keep your nose out"

"Well then get up and pay them!" Jackson raised his voice which earned him a scowl.

"I can't!"

"Why not!"

"I don't feel very well alright" Aaron told him as he started to cry again. "I don't feel well, just leave me alone!"

"It's starting to get on top of you now isn't it?"

"Like you care" Aaron shot back as he wiped his eyes.

"Thing is, seems I do care"

"Yeah and you're going to regret caring about me, don't get used to me, don't even bother with me at all because I'm trouble"

"Most teenagers are"

"Oh so you're better than me now are ya?"

"Well…yeah at the moment I am…and it's the truth, might not like hearing it but it's tough, I am better than you right now…what you need to learn is you can be better, you can get better"

"I don't want too"

"So you'll suffer like this till you have the energy to make a line will ya?" Aaron nodded. "And when it runs out?"

"I'll find a way, I always do"

"Or you'll die before you finish it all"

"That migh-"

"Aaron I'm not an expert but the length of time you've been using, the more you take to get high means a bigger shock to your body, you'd die and you probably wouldn't even know about it"

Aaron shrugged and quietly said. "I'm in hell already anyway"

"You're not! You just haven't gotten over your dads death"

Aaron started chuckling. "And you think I ever will? Jesus…right I need to be alone now, please?"

Jackson sighed as he nodded and quickly pulled out his wallet and took out a business card and placed it down on the coffee table. "You have to want to stop Aaron…that's the key…I won't be far away"

"I won't be calling you"

"Like I said I won't be far away" he repeated and walked out of the living room. When Jackson continued walking through to the front door he stopped and he glanced over at the final notice branded letters on the bench and picked them up, aswell as his money from the dining table and then he quietly left.

* * *

**TBC…**


	7. Can I Save This Life?

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"Can I Save This Life?"**

* * *

Waking up from an hours sleep it didn't make him feel any better, it was late afternoon and rather than lying there the rest of the night he decided to get up. He wandered into the kitchen as he rubbed his exhausted baggy eyes, he stopped still, he didn't know what he had come in for but when he saw no sign of the bills on the bench he felt an anger inside and he pulled out his phone and stormed back into the living room, perched himself down on the arm of the sofa and swiped Jackson's business card from the table and held it in front of him as he punched in the number into his phone.

Jackson was sat at the bar in the pub when his mobile started to ring, he pulled it out of his pocket and an unknown number flashed onto the screen, he knew who it was and he smirked as he answered it. "Jackson Walsh" then he quickly moved it from his ear when Aaron's venom was unleashed over the phone at him, he'd never been subjected to such language or hostility it didn't faze him though when Aaron started to calm down he put the phone back to his ear. "Right, you calmed down now? Good…you weren't going to pay those bills yourself"

Chas frowned and looked toward Jackson. "Is that Aaron?"

Jackson nodded at her as he continued talking. "So I took matters into my own hands, pay point is quite handy you know did you know you could pay almost anything through that?" he asked with a smirk.

"That's not the point! They are my responsibility, not yours!"

"But you weren't going to pay them Aaron!"

"What do you care anyway?" Aaron spat.

"Because I'm involved now!"

Aaron started to laugh which Chas could hear behind the bar. "Involved? Just because we had drunken meaningless sex does not mean you're involved!"

"Normally no you're right, like I said there's something worth sticking around for"

"Ha! Don't kid yourself!" Aaron yelled and hung up.

…

A few days later Aaron's coke had gone and he was desperate, he was sweating, shaking and white as a sheet, his temperature was through the roof, he needed a fix. He had to…he picked up his phone and dialled Rob's number, he told him he needed more but Aaron was told if he was so desperate he had to make the journey, and that he knew where it was. He agreed and told him he wouldn't be long. When he opened the front door the blast of fresh air he'd gotten was the first in a couple of days, he'd not been out the house and he had ignored all phone calls and knocks at the door, the phone calls were from his mum, Jackson and a couple even from Marlon, that had surprised him he'd never bothered before. When he walked away to the bus stop he caught sight of Jackson working down the village, and he had to admit he looked alright in his builders gear but something just didn't sit right with him, again why would someone like Jackson give a damn about him? He just couldn't fathom it and so far he was keeping the distance between himself and Jackson, well and truly far apart.

When Rob opened his door Aaron got a whiff of marijuana and whatever else they were up to in there, he nodded to him gratefully and stepped in. "You go through some stuff Livesy" Rob laughed as he followed Aaron into the living room.

"Yeah well, you know what it's like" he told him as he looked at some of Rob's mates sat back on the sofa completely zoned out. "W-what's up with them?"

"Smack, Aaron" Rob told him matter of factly.

"Oh…"

"Wanna try some?"

"Err no, I dunno about that, I've got some in my drawer at home but I've never used it yet"

Rob and a couple of his other mates laughed. "Well you should, all your problems go away, feel warm inside…course you might be sick at first and dizzy but it'll pass"

Aaron nodded. "Alright"

"Good man!" Rob patted him on the back and Aaron smiled a little.

"Fresh needle though yeah, I'll do and take anything but I'm not sharing a needle"

"That's fine, sit yourself down, Dave will sort you out I'll be back in a sec" Rob told him and left the room.

Dave stood up and walked over. "Take a seat" Aaron quickly did as he was told, he felt slightly uncomfortable being there but he had to. Dave then reached for Aaron's arm and slapped his forearm. "Fresh" he grinned as the veins in his arms had reacted. "Eh?" Aaron asked. "You've never injected before so there's no damage, this will be easy but I'll give you this" he handed him a strap and Aaron took it and quickly started to tie it around his arm. Dave sat back down again and took out a clean needle from a bag and filled it from the small vial by his side then held it out for Aaron to take. Aaron swallowed hard and reached out and took it. "You'll be alright" Dave told him. "We won't let anything happen to ya kid"

Aaron nodded and pushed the needle through his skin and pushed the heroin out from the needle and into his vein, his head dropped back against the sofa instantly, Dave's laughs became distorted, his vision was blurred and just like Rob had told him, he felt sick, sick as dog, he couldn't sit there despite how dizzy he felt, he pulled himself up and made his way quickly to find a sink or a toilet, he knocked into a unit on the way out, he found the kitchen and he vomited into the sink. He returned to the lounge a few minutes later and dropped down onto the sofa, his body and mind were so relax, for the time of his eyes he'd forgotten about his grief over Paddy, his money worries and of course Jackson Walsh' intrusion to his life.

When he was able he got up to leave and Rob handed him his requested cocaine, Aaron nodded and smiled and turned to leave. "Cheers"

"Erm, that's not free…"

"Oh I-I thought…"

"No" Rob sighed. "Taking heroin was not payment…come on hand it over"

Aaron swallowed hard and hung his head. "I-I don't have any…I-I'm sorry"

"You will be sorry…And there's me thinking we were all getting on so well…boys…" he instructed. His mates set about Aaron leaving him bleeding from multiple areas on his face and to top it, unconscious. When Aaron awoke he found himself lying on some grass at the top of the village, he frowned and winced as he sat up. Rob and his cronies had obviously dumped in there. As he slowly pushed himself to his feet, he saw Jackson's van outside the B he'd had enough now, he needed someone to blame so he walked down there as fast as he could.

When he burst into the B&B he caught the attention of the guests who were downstairs enjoying a drink and of course Val. "Where's Jackson?" he asked angrily. "I need to speak to him"

"What you need is an ambulance!" she told him as she rushed over to him. "I don't want you in here either, I've got customers to think about…" she took him by the arm and started to guide him out but he pulled away. "Where is he?" Aaron growled.

"I don't know, I'm not his keeper Aaron"

Aaron sighed. "FINE" he replied loudly and stormed back out, he looked ahead and there was his van. He chuckled to himself and reached down and picked up a rock from the grass and walked quickly to the front of the van.

Alicia was on her break just getting some fresh air, she looked up the village to the B&B next door and saw Aaron throwing something at the vehicle parked up, then the loud smashing of glass could be heard; she rushed back into the pub. "Chas!"

"What's the matter with you?" Chas asked with a laugh.

"I-it's Aaron, he's wrecking a van outside the B&B…"

Jackson was sat in the corner of the bar and his ears pricked up when he heard Aaron being mentioned, then his eyes widened and he jumped down off the stool and stormed over to the door. "Jackson!" Chas yelled as she ran around the bar to follow him. "Don't do something stupid!"

"I'm no push over Chas, he's got problems fair enough but this is not on!" Since his arrival in the village Chas and Jackson had talked a bit, she knew how they met and what Aaron had done afterward and he knew a little more of Aaron's addiction, it was worse than he'd thought.

"Oi!" Chas screamed as Aaron smashed the third and final window of the van. Jackson ran past her and up to him, he collided with Aaron and in defence Aaron had struck him a blow to his groin. Jackson felt winded for a few seconds but he wasn't letting go of him, when he recovered he looked up at the cut and bloodied mess of a face before him, it frightened and shocked him.

"Aaron…" Chas said almost in a whisper when she saw the state her son was in.

If looks could kill, well Jackson would certainly be dead. "This is all your fault!" Aaron spat angrily, completely ignoring his mum in the process.

"What! How the hell is this my fault? I helped you out the other day, got you out of a mess because I knew for a fact you wouldn't have used the money for the bills"

"And because I didn't have any I got this! You said I could keep it!"

"And you told me to take it!" Jackson said with a frown. "And yeah I did but it was still yours and I used it for more important things like keeping that roof over your head!"

"Let go of me!" Aaron growled.

"No! I won't"

"This has to stop Aaron" Chas started now standing next to Jackson. "Look at what it's making you do"

Aaron shrugged.

"I hardly see you anymore…y-you missed the memorial for Paddy in the church" Chas told him with tears in her eyes and she could see the tears in his own but he seemed despondent and he simply shrugged his shoulders then hung his head.

"And like I said, I can see right through you, excuse us Chas!" Jackson said as he started to push Aaron up to Smithy cottage.

"Call me Jackson, alright?"

Jackson turned to her and nodded then turned his attention back to Aaron. Finding Aaron's keys he pulled them out of his pocket and unlocked the front door and pushed Aaron inside, he followed him in and locked the door again and kept the keys on him. "You can't run this time"

"Get stuffed!"

"No! Sit down now! I'll clean you up…"

"I don't want you touching me!" Aaron screamed then in a swift movement he flipped over the table causing Jackson to stand back pushed up against the bench.

"Okay, do you really want to hurt me?"

Aaron simply shot a look at him, his scowl visible. "No!"

"Right well…" Jackson said as he stepped forward. "Calm down and sit down" he told him and he flipped the table back over and put the chairs back in their rightful place and the last one he held out for Aaron.

Aaron silently walked over and sat in the chair, when he did he felt Jackson squeeze his shoulder which confused him. "What was that for? You should be angry"

"Yeah well" Jackson said with a sigh as he sat in front of him. "I was until I saw your face"

"I'll pay to fix your van alright…"

"With what Aaron, you've got nothing"

"No, I have but I've kept it in a separate account…I'll dip into it I-I don't mind"

"No" Jackson sighed. "I've got a better idea…I need some help down at Dale head…you can work with me"

"Sure that's a good idea? I know what sexual tension is and we have a lot of that"

Jackson scoffed. "I don't think so"

"Oh… right sorry"

Jackson nodded.

"Just a joke you know…"

"Well I'm not really in the mood for humour tonight Aaron…go and clean yourself up…"

When Aaron left the kitchen, his words lingered for a long time, leaving Jackson wondering, thinking. There was an attraction but sexual tension? He hadn't realised that there was until Aaron had brought it up. Another question that came to mind was did he want him? And everything that came with him, could he enter into something with his eyes wide open in a situation like this?

Upstairs Aaron had walked past the bathroom and just walked into the bedroom, he opened his drawer and for the first time since placing it in there he took out the bag with the heroin and needle and opened it up. He saw how it was done earlier, he could do it again. He filled the needle and held it between his teeth while he slapped his forearm again to ready the veins.

Jackson had ventured further into the living room and he looked at pictures of Aaron and who he assumed to be Paddy. He looked closely at Aaron there was no paleness, no bags under his eyes, a little more weight, bit of a tan, he smiled but he started to cry unexpectedly, he had a life before all the drugs the poor kid, him and Paddy, they looked happy in the pictures, a little family, then one day it was ripped from Aaron, that thought tugged at Jackson's heart. However seconds later a loud thud from above caused him to jump, he panicked and quickly placed the picture down and ran back to the stairs. "AARON!" he yelled as he ran up them two at a time.

When he entered the room Aaron was lying unconscious on the floor, the needle and vial of heroin empty. He fell to his knees quickly and checked he was breathing.

He wasn't.

* * *

**TBC…**


	8. Can I?

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"Can I?"**

* * *

Jackson was always at the hospital before work in the mornings and after work in the evenings. He'd come to get to know Aaron's mum a lot more, Aaron's history with his dad, his earlier drug dealings when he was a bit younger which led to his ending up in the village. He learned how Paddy had took him in and let him stay there after she cheated on him with Carl, it had all gone on but then he was told of Aaron's horrible time coming out to the point he had tried to commit suicide aswell as beating Paddy up but after that he had settled down and gotten comfortable with who he was. At least until he received that horrible call from the hospital one afternoon over a year ago and it had just gone downhill from that moment slowly but then there was a rapid decline and now here they were, Aaron in a coma from a heroin overdose.

A few more days had passed and everyone was losing hope, but the nurses and doctors remained hopeful he would pull through, he was still with them that was a good sign, his body had simply been traumatised to the point it couldn't take it anymore and needed time to repair himself. It was now late, well past the visiting hours but with the Dingles the nurses were lenient considering the situation and Chas and Jackson were sat at either side of his bed, the room was dark and quite comfy, the only noise was the beeps from the monitor. "Jackson I erm…I'm grateful that you're here and I know you have a bit of a history with him because of what happened in Ibiza but I'm just being realistic, my son is a drug addict, you are healthy and you have your own business, I-I don't get it"

Jackson smiled and turned his gaze from Aaron to Chas and shrugged. "There's something about him, I can't explain it I don't know what it is but when I first saw him" he started to grin and Chas smiled with a nod, she understood. "And since, we've met again and that's not coincidence, it can't be…so that's why I'm here every single day, I want to help him and he will stop when he wakes up"

"Do you have any idea how horrible this is going to be?"

Jackson sighed and glanced back at Aaron and nodded then looked over at Chas again. "Yeah, yeah I do"

"If you're involved like you say you are then we all have your back, you are the only person I think my son will listen to eventually, so we're here for you, I commend you and I feel so guilty that I was going to walk away"

"That's understandable though, I mean you've put up with it for a year, it's bound to take its toll on you"

"Not as much as it has on him"

"Yeah" Jackson replied quietly and looked back at Aaron.

…

The following morning Jackson left the hospital to go back to his flat to get freshened up for work, but when he got there he wasn't expecting a guest, he rolled his eyes when he saw his mums coat hanging up by the door. He didn't get chance to speak when his mum walked into the small hallway. "And where have you been?"

Jackson sighed. "Money run out did it? Or have you and Auntie Polly had another bust up?"

"Well isn't that such a nice way to great your mum"

Jackson smiled and walked over and hugged her. "Hi mum"

"Hi love, so where have you been?"

"At the hospital"

Hazel frowned. "What? Why?"

"Oh erm, a friend" Jackson said shyly, there was more to it than that and he'd realised it during the night when he'd been sat up watching Aaron.

"A friend? Are you sure about that?"

Jackson rolled his eyes. "Well he is still a friend but there might be more to it"

"Oh like a boyfriend?"

"Hmm, maybe"

"You boys, what is the problem this time?"

"Woah hang on what do you mean this time? Liam was alright, it just didn't work" he defended.

"Something is bothering you I can tell"

"Yeah there is and you won't like it so I'm not saying anything" he told her as he walked past her to the living room, and obviously she had followed. "So how long you staying this time?"

"Don't change the subject Jackson"

"I'm not I'm just asking a question"

"Not long, a month or so"

"Oh right, okay"

Hazel frowned and sat down on the sofa. "Ohh this is big isn't it?"

Jackson sighed; he was tired and didn't have the patience for his mum at the moment despite how much he loved her. "What?" he asked irritably.

"Well you normally go mad if it's over two weeks so your mind is well and truly not here"

"No mum it's on Aaron" he told her quickly.

"Ohh nice name, is he religious?"

Jackson scoffed. "Far from it, none of his family are but their names are well and truly out there, kind of a religious theme throughout, Chastity, Zak, Noah, Samson, Genesis…Aaron…you get the point"

"Alright…well…what's this thing I won't like?"

Jackson thought for a second and because there was a likelihood he'd be spending time with Aaron she'd have to know. "He's a drug addict; he overdosed on heroin a few days back, he's in a coma"

"YOU WHAT! Have you gone completely insane!" She yelled but Jackson expected as much.

"And he's the one from Ibiza"

"Oh well this just gets better and better doesn't it?"

"Better? Mum you have no idea how horrible it is to see"

"Yes well you have a choice not too, but no you always want to help people, you always see the good in them, how the hell can there be any good in a druggy?"

Jackson scowled at his mum. "Bit judgemental innit? He lost his step dad a year ago, that's what started it all off, he's trying to block the grief, I've seen glimpses I have and then the walls shoot right back up…" Jackson sighed and shook his head. "He thinks he's worthless, he doesn't care about himself, he hasn't really got anything to focus on so he uses and he's hurting"

Hazel sighed "I think you're being reckless taking him on but it's your life it's up to you and as usual, I'll be here for you when it all comes crashing down but I hope it doesn't"

"Thanks mum"

Hazel nodded. "What you are taking on love is going to take it out of you aswell, but I know you wouldn't be doing this if you didn't feel something for this kid…j-just remember you have to look after yourself too, it'll take its toll, that's all"

"I will" Jackson said with a smile.

…

Marlon walked along the corridor and stood beside Chas and she had smiled and they had hugged each other. "How is he?" he asked.

"He's awake, actually…woke up ten minutes ago the doctors are nearly done"

"When they are, do you mind if I go in?"

Chas smiled. "No, not at all"

A few minutes later Marlon walked in and Aaron sighed when he saw him. "Just go away Marlon"

Marlon shook his head and sat down. "No can do, I just thought you'd like to know what hell you're putting everyone through"

Aaron tutted. "What? You aswell, I doubt it somehow"

"Well actually yes me too because you were like a son to my best mate Aaron, no we didn't get on when you started living with him but I realised what you two had and I understood, t-then he was gone, I know you're hurting Aaron it's horrible, I miss him just as much as you and he'd be turning over in his grave if he could see the state you're in"

"But he can't Marlon"

"I know that but if he could he'd be really disappointed and you'd know that, you have to stop taking drugs Aaron you'll end up in the ground too and no one wants that, we all love you"

Aaron frowned but the fact he didn't verbally reply said so much.

"I thought he was mad taking you on, I really did, do you remember?" Aaron nodded. "But he looked after you Aaron, he loved you like his son, and you are his, he might be dead but you are still that lad from a year ago when Paddy was still alive it's just deep inside" Marlon smiled a little. "Locked away and the only way you can find him again is to stop the drugs, you're nineteen years old, you have your entire life ahead of you and Paddy is always around"

"But I needed him here!" Aaron said sadly as he slammed his fist down onto his leg repeatedly as the dam broke.

Marlon got up from the chair as he tried to calm him. "Hey, hey mate it's alright…" he told him as he held his arms so he couldn't hit himself.

"No it's not" Aaron cried. "It's not alright, it's not!" he sobbed out uncontrollably but Marlon pulled him into a hug and let Aaron cry against his shoulder. He rubbed his back to soothe him. "He should still be here I know, I know that, I know you needed him but me and your mum need you too Aaron, please I'm begging you, stop this"

"I don't know how!" he cried out.

"We'll help you"

…

Evening came and Jackson was quickly walking along the corridor to see him, he'd gotten the text that he was awake before leaving for work that morning. Work dragged, as it always did when you were looking forward to something. That realisation had stumped him completely; he was looking forward to seeing Aaron Livesy.

Jackson walked into the room and saw Aaron lying on his side in bed, he had no visitors. "Hey"

"Hey" came Aaron's quiet reply.

"Gave me quite a scare you did"

"Sorry" he replied miserably which melted Jackson's heart.

"So you should be" he told him gently with a smile and walked around to the side of the bed he was facing but when he sat down Aaron started turning away. "Don't do that, hey Aaron come on…"

Aaron stopped and turned back to face him with his eyes full of tears which Jackson noticed straight away, he reached out and stroked his arm.

"I'm a mess" Aaron sobbed.

Jackson nodded. "I know…you have to stop Aaron, you'll be okay in time, will you…please?"

Aaron sniffled and nodded his head. "But what's the point? I've got nothing to live for"

"Well I know you don't know but I've been by your side here every moment I could, I didn't have too…" he shrugged "Think about it Aaron"

Aaron frowned. "I don't understand"

"Well I liked you as soon as I saw you and I still do now, and whether you like me or not really that isn't important and certainly doesn't matter right now but I do care about you and I want to help you through this"

Aaron wiped his tears away. "You'd do that for me?"

"Yeah" Jackson smiled. "Just like the rest of your family will, but I've already talked with your mum and I'll be your main support, she isn't stepping back though, alright she isn't…but I suggested it and I want to do this for you"

"I-I don't want to hurt you though"

"Who's saying you will?"

"You've seen what I can get like and I don't have a clue what I'll be like when I stop, and I'm scared Jackson, I'm so scared"

"You have nothing to be scared of, you'll be safe and you'll have me"

"But I don't know you, you don't know me…it's a bit weird"

"Yeah but we can get to know each other because my offer of helping me still stands"

"I can't decorate for shit" Aaron told him with a smile.

"That's because you never have…and there's more to it than decorating, it'll keep you occupied"

Aaron nodded. "You said the other day that I had to want to stop, and I do but at the same time I'm not ready"

"But you're scared like you say"

Aaron nodded and blew out a deep breath. "Yeah…"

Jackson reached out and held Aaron's hand tightly. "You can do this"

"Can I?" Aaron asked shakily as tears ran down his face.

* * *

**TBC…**


	9. So It Begins

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"So It Begins"**

* * *

Chas jumped up from her chair at the dining table when the front door opened, Aaron walked in first, followed by Jackson. She smiled at her son and stepped forward and gave him a hug, he didn't hug back but she wasn't about to call him up on it not in his state, this was the beginning.

When they pulled away Aaron wiped away the sweat from his forehead. "I'm just gunna go to my room"

"You sure?" Chas asked

Aaron nodded as Jackson started to speak. "You er…" he smirked. "You're going to get sick of me so we might aswell start now…remember I've been through every single bit of your room, there's nothing there so don't try looking…"

Aaron was bothered obviously, the urge and cravings within needed to be eased and they couldn't be. He shook his head lightly as he walked out of the kitchen. "I'm going to go nuts, you do know that right?"

"I'm well aware of that fact, in fact there's no drugs in this house whatsoever so just get over this bit, it'll be horrible but I'm here" he called after him but all he heard was Aaron stomping up the stairs. Jackson turned and sat down at the table as Chas started making a brew for them.

"Do you think that was the best approach?" Chas asked.

"Yes I do, I can be firmer than that and I'm sure I'll have to be, he needs to know there's nothing here, I'm not even trusting him with normal medication, I've took it all out"

"Yeah of course, you're right…sorry"

"No need" Jackson said with a smile.

"So moving in already eh?" she said with a laugh.

Jackson simply rolled his eyes. "We're not together Chas, but I've made my feelings clear and that I'm staying to help him and that if he doesn't feel anything or not, it's not important but if it happens then we'll see…"

"I hope you know what you're doing" she told him with a small smile.

"I don't, but who does?"

"Well you could try talking to John and Moira up at the farm"

Jackson nodded, he knew about their daughter's addiction and he would consider it. "I will if I need too"

Upstairs Aaron had done the opposite of what Jackson had said and was looking through every draw, in his usual hiding places; under the bed, behind the wardrobe, and in the toilet cistern bowl. Now angry that Jackson was indeed right, he grabbed his wardrobe and pulled it away from its place up against the wall, causing a loud clattering noise as it hit the floor.

Chas ran to go to the stairs but Jackson jumped up and grabbed her by the arm and stopped her. "No, don't…it's just the start"

"He's going to trash the place Jackson"

"And it can be put back right; if we interfere he could lash out, especially now he definitely knows there's nothing here"

Chas nodded and stepped back again. "You're right"

"I HATE YOU!" Aaron screamed down the stairs.

Jackson marched to the bottom of the stairs and looked up at him. "You said you'd stop so I've helped you by making it all disappear, I got you a new sim card aswell, no dealers numbers whatsoever"

"WHY!" Aaron demanded.

"You think I can trust you not to call them, to try and get any gear? I'm not stupid Aaron, oh and if you haven't noticed yet, you're windows have been drilled down"

Aaron's anger was visible on his face. "You think that's funny do ya?"

"Yeah Aaron absolutely fucking hilarious!" he shouted at him. "You can do this! I promise you!"

"No!" he raged then stormed back to his room. "No I can't!"

After slamming the door Aaron banged his head off it several times in his temper, he was burning up and shaking, he turned around and slid down the door his hands pressed into his forehead, he was going insane already, the realisation that there was no drugs anywhere tipped him over though and it was starting, he sobbed hard he couldn't do this he really couldn't, at least he thought but he had no idea how strong he actually could be.

A while later Chas left after checking and double checking he would be okay, he had to tell her several times he would be before she left but not before telling him to call any of the family if he needed them. He was now alone in an unknown house with an erratic drug addict who was crashing back to the surface. He blew out a deep breath and looked around, this was his home for now, he thought he might aswell make himself at home. He got up and started to cook something to eat for both of them, when it was done he placed both meals down on the table and headed upstairs. Jackson prepared himself before he knocked on the door, then he walked in slowly and found the room trashed, furniture turned upside down and the room was in a dimmed light because he'd pulled the mattress of the bed and stood it up in front of the window, as he continued to look around his DVDs, CDs and probably all of his belongings scattered the floor, magazines, bits of paper, even the posters had been ripped from the walls. He knelt down where he was and looked over at Aaron, who was on the other end of the room, with his head in his hands shaking his head.

"Aaron…" there was no response. "Aaron, mate…I've made some food"

"I don't want any"

"You've gotta eat mate" he tried to encourage him.

Aaron shook his head and looked up at Jackson and he could see in the dimmed light that he had been crying. "I'm not hungry"

"Well alright" he bit his lip as he watched him. "…I-I could do with the company you know…"

"If you want company then go and see your mates"

"That's funny" Jackson pulled a faked surprised face "I thought you were"

"Yeah well I'm not! I'm just someone for you to help so it makes you feel better" he spat bitterly.

Jackson frowned. "Is that what you think?"

"Well why else would you put yourself through this?"

"You know why and to be honest I'm having an alright time actually, cooking, listening to music, reading the paper, you know, normal stuff?"

Aaron scoffed. "Normal stuff, you know I'm far from normal"

"Nah!" Jackson grinned. "Course you are, come on sit with me for a bit please, I don't like eating alone"

"Well what the hell do you do in your flat Jackson?"

Jackson sighed and hung his head. "Alright fair point, I just wanna talk to you that's all"

"What are we doing now?"

"Yeah alright…" Jackson replied and stood up and walked out. Aaron swallowed hard and regretted being horrible to him. He didn't want him to leave him.

Jackson ran down to the kitchen and grabbed both plates and turned back to go upstairs but he was stopped when a teary eyed, pale, sweating Aaron stood in the doorway, Jackson smiled and stepped back to let him in giving him an approving nod as he did so.

Aaron took one look at the pasta on the plate and grimaced. "I'm sorry but I can't eat that"

"It's alright" Jackson smiled. "I'll make you something else"

"No I mean I don't want to eat, I just wanted to come down and sit with you"

Jackson nodded. "I'll bring it in the living room, it's comfier"

Aaron smiled and followed him through and sat next to him on the sofa as Jackson put something on the TV so that if there was a silence it wouldn't feel awkward and there'd be a distraction if need be.

Jackson looked across at him and he was shaking. "You cold?"

"No" Aaron told him quickly as he shook his head. Jackson knew then, he didn't need to ask anymore.

"I didn't feel like this at the hospital Jackson why is it starting now?"

"I suspect that they gave you something Aaron, it'll be wearing off…" he explained and Aaron nodded.

"Will this last long?"

Jackson shrugged. "I don't know, you've been using a hell of a long time…but when this initial thing you're going through stops that won't just be it you know that right?"

Aaron nodded again. "Yeah" he told him then looked away as tears dropped from his eyes but Jackson had saw and he put his plate down and shuffled across and took him in his arms then he started to cry properly against him and he clung on for dear life.

After Aaron had calmed down Jackson had left him for a while so he could put his bed back together at least and he returned ten minutes later to find Aaron asleep on the sofa, he smiled down at him as he sat down and rested his head on his legs then he settled to watch something on TV but he didn't last long either, he fell asleep after twenty minutes or so.

When Jackson woke up it was late and dark outside. Jackson rubbed his eyes and carefully got up then lifted Aaron up into his arms, he'd stirred a bit but that was all and he started walking through to the kitchen then up the stairs. When he walked into his room he lay Aaron down carefully and pulled the quilt up over him then watched him for a few seconds from the doorway, then with a deep breath he walked out and closed the door. He closed his eyes and blew out a deep breath. "Forgive me" he muttered and took out a key from his pocket and locked the door, Aaron hadn't realised the different door handle thankfully but Jackson felt so guilty, he questioned himself as to whether this was right but he knew it was, he couldn't take the chance of Aaron leaving and escaping somehow, despite Jackson taking every possible precaution in that matter, the amount of keys he had on him was ridiculous, the front door, the door leading out from the living room, the windows despite him drilling his down, it was mental but the steps taken were necessary as was locking him in every night.

Jackson took himself off to bed and fell asleep quickly, an hour into his sleep however he was woken quickly by three loud bangs followed by Aaron screaming out for him. Jackson quickly got out of bed and walked out onto the landing. "I'm here!"

"Why have you locked me in?" he asked breathlessly from the other side of the door.

"I had to Aaron y-"

"No you didn't! Your keeping me prisoner, y-you're planning something!"

Jackson frowned, but he'd read something that symptoms of withdrawal could include suspicion. "No I'm not Aaron"

"Yes you are! You've wormed your way in and now you want to hurt me!"

"Why would I want to hurt you?"

"Because of what I did, stealing from you then your van! I'm not stupid!"

"And I don't like violence, so no I don't want to hurt you and I'm not going to stand here saying that all night, it's the lack of drugs Aaron, it's doing things to your mind"

"NO! You are!"

Jackson shook his head. "Go back to sleep Aaron"

"I can't sleep! The dreams there, they're freaky! I-I've never known anything like it, all I see is distorted images, faces, white bags, white bags of perfection…" he sighed. "Jackson please, I can't do this!"

"You can!"

"What you're seeing in your dreams or otherwise aren't real okay, they aren't, you just have to ignore them, and it's just your mind craving that horrible stuff" he told him as Aaron sobbed and hearing him and the desperation brought tears to his own eyes.

"Don't leave me!" he cried out. "Please Jackson, don't go"

Jackson then walked right up to his door. "I'm not going anywhere Aaron, I'm right here with you, you can fight this" he told him as he lowered himself down to the floor. "I'm sat on the floor mate"

Aaron nodded and blinked away his tears and lowered himself down too on his side, Jackson could hear him and he nodded with a slight smile. "Me too" Aaron told him.

"Good…good…how about we talk?"

"Yeah" Aaron sniffled with a nod. He was angry when he realised he couldn't get out, absolutely seething but Jackson had talked him around, but it was the way in which he spoke, the tone of his voice, so caring and gentle, that's what had calmed him and made him see some sort of sense within the psychological mess of a maze that had taken root in his mind.

"Tell me about your life before the drugs..."

"But you already know right? My mum…"

Jackson smirked. "Yeah, but I wanna hear your version of events…"

"I don't wanna keep you up, I-I'll be alright, I will…I promise" he nodded as he tried to convince himself.

"Hey…" his voice was soothing. "I'll sit here all night Aaron, plus it'll be a distraction for you and I'll get to know you more"

Aaron smiled. "Listen, I-I don't know why you care enough to do this but while I'm not going mad or anything I-I just wanna say how grateful I am…"

"Oh don't thank me yet alright…there's a long way to go"

"I know I…I just wanted to tell you"

"And I appreciate it" Jackson said with a smile as he rested his head back against the door. "So, your life…go" he told him with a grin and he waited in the dark and silence for Aaron to start speaking and when he did a warmth filled him which caught him off guard.

"…Jackson?" Aaron asked after a few minutes, he was worried Jackson had lost interest and had gone away.

"Yeah" he replied, his smile still there. "I'm still here…go on…you were telling me about Victoria a few Christmases back, the frozen lake…"

"Ah yeah…" Aaron continued and they had a conversation through the door for hours until both of them had fell asleep curled up in front of the door.

* * *

**TBC…**


	10. Was It Worth It?

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"Was It Worth It?"**

* * *

Three weeks had passed since Aaron's return home from the hospital, his initial crash period had only subsided a few days ago, it hit mainly at night, the vivid dreams, the seeing things, the paranoia and during the day he slept for lack of it at night, when he was awake he was very quiet and depressed, with the occasional one sided slanging match toward Jackson, when Aaron was angry it was like pure venom, he tongue cut like a knife and Jackson had to remind himself that he didn't mean it and he had to ignore it but there was one night in Aaron's room before he left to lock him in Jackson had been struck by Aaron's fist leaving his lip bleeding, when he had realised what he'd done he stepped back horrified, Jackson told him to go to sleep and he walked out and locked him in. when he got downstairs he stepped outside and paced the pavement while he himself broke down into tears, it had taken its toll, he was always exhausted too so it didn't help matters, especially his state of mind, he began to doubt why he was there, if he was doing any good cause he couldn't see it.

Upon seeing a distressed Jackson outside Smithy Cain had headed up which was unusual for Jackson to see because Cain hadn't bothered himself at all, nice to see how some people care eh? But Jackson supposed he had his reasons. After seeing what Aaron had done Cain was initially angry and through gritted teeth told Jackson he was gunna kill him but Jackson told him not too, he didn't need that and he certainly didn't mean to hit him but Cain shot back with "What about next time eh?" Jackson did think about that but he shook his head eventually and told him there wouldn't be and there wasn't.

Aaron hadn't eaten much in those weeks either which started to worry Jackson a bit but he was drinking plenty of water at least, nowadays Aaron was still depressed, quiet, miserable and silently craving but there had been no signs of the night time trauma.

Summer was in full swing now, it had just turned August and normally Jackson would be looking forward to his twenty second birthday but he had completely forgotten, understandable with everything that had gone on in the last month or so. Aaron had been helping Jackson at Dale head for a few days, it wasn't really up too much but Jackson's company was the highlight, not that he'd ever admit that. He was doing his best at helping and Jackson was grateful and didn't give him too much to do, his body had been through enough without any physical overload aswell. Jackson was knelt down on the floor fixing a skirting board to the wall while Aaron was mind numbingly painting a wall a horrible brownie colour. "You know how you were scared that the people you've hurt won't ever forgive you" "Yeah" "Well I had an idea, well something I read actually, but what you do is you write a list of everyone you've hurt and what you did then eventually over time you make amends with them"

"It's never going to be that easy" Aaron was always quick to shoot down an idea.

"No, I didn't say it would be but it's a start" he unintentionally snapped in reply.

"Yeah, alright"

"So are you looking forward to the pub tonight?"

Aaron frowned. "I'm only dishing out plates Jackson; don't get too excited cause I'm certainly not"

"Well yeah I know, but Marlon is gunna teach ya some things"

"And I'm grateful but I don't care, I couldn't give a stuff" Aaron told him quietly.

"It's natural you don't care right now, but you will about something eventually"

Aaron then turned to look at Jackson but his back was to him but Aaron didn't mind he just looked at him with a thoughtful look on his face. He turned back to the painting a few seconds later. "…yeah" he replied softly.

Minutes later Chas walked through the open door of Dale head with a huge smile on her face. "Hiya you two" she said while looking over at Aaron. "Aww love your colours coming back aww love" she gushed.

Aaron tutted with a heavy scowl "Leave it mum yeah?"

Chas rolled her eyes and looked down at Jackson who just shrugged with a small smile on his face, he felt sorry for her.

…

Later Aaron was escorted to the pub kitchen by Jackson where Marlon was working and after arranging for Marlon to text him when it was time he'd come down and get him, Marlon agreed then Jackson left Aaron with him. It would be a welcomed break for him despite how much he liked being around Aaron and it would be a break for Aaron too in some ways, no nagging well maybe from Marlon if he didn't pull his weight but he would, he knew himself he needed the distraction.

As the shift went on into late evening Aaron was shown how to make and dress a salad, it was mind numbing but he listened and tried to do it himself, it didn't turn out as presentable but still it was a salad, who cared? At least that's how he saw it but he knew how Marlon ran the kitchen, chefs were picky about such things. He hadn't left the kitchen since he started the shift so he was surprised and a bit nervous when Marlon asked him to take out some meals to a table. "Are you joking?"

"No, actually I'm not but I'm busy here and this is why you're here, to help"

"No I'm here so Jackson can have a break and so I have the distraction, and yeah alright it _was _working but now it isn't"

"Well don't think about it mate you know, go on take those out to table five"

Aaron nodded with a sigh as he picked up the two plates and headed out, almost bumping into his mum at the same time. "Oh sorry love"

"Yeah you will be if this goes all over me" he grumbled and Chas chuckled as she wandered through to the back. He continued out through to the bar where all eyes turned to him again, he was conscious of it but he ignored them as best as he could, he looked over to table five and Adam and Moira were sat there, he rolled his eyes and walked over. "Lasagne"

Moira smiled. "That's me love"

Aaron nodded and placed it down, then placed Adam's down in front of him and turned away but stopped when Adam spoke.

"I'm not eating that" he told him.

Aaron turned to face him. "Problem?"

"Yeah I'm not eating anything you've touched"

"Well you're in luck there cause I didn't make it"

"Adam…" Moira warned.

"I don't care you've had your disgusting hands all over this plate"

Aaron frowned and stepped over to him and got in his face. "Some mate you turned out to be"

Adam smirked at him. "You disgusting little rat, get back to the gutter where you belong. No one wants you here"

Aaron swallowed hard, taking in his words like a sieve.

"ADAM!" Moira raised her voice. "Aaron I'm sorry about this"

"Nah don't be" Aaron replied as he picked up Adam's plate the contents of it a curry and he quickly held it vertical above Adam's head allowing the curry and rice to fall on him, then he dropped the plate to the floor causing it to smash, and in a swift movement he took off his apron and threw it to the bar and walked out, when he was outside he ran as fast as he could to the bus stop.

When he arrived in town, he knew where to go, Adam's words had only solidified what he thought himself, he couldn't do this he needed his drug, his fix but importantly his lifeline, it was the only thing keeping him going.

Marlon stood glaring at Adam while he was being cleaned up, Moira was shouting all the right things at him as he would have done if he'd gotten the chance but Moira had dragged him into the back before he could.

Chas was pacing and she ended the call. "He's not picking up! You nasty piece of work! Do you see what you've done!"

"What I've done?" Adam snapped. "He's been using over a year, and then suddenly this lad comes along and thinks he can help, oh and what we didn't did we? He obviously doesn't want to stop!"

"No" Moira said. "But he was trying! He's looking a lot better"

"Yeah but he won't by the end of tonight" Marlon spoke with a sigh.

"That's what I'm scared of" Chas replied to Marlon then stepped over to Adam. "And I'll tell you something about Jackson shall I? And this is not just to you it's to us all. He's one hell of a better person than any of us Adam, he got him to stop we never did. So there's obviously something in him that Aaron sees, but because of some petty, pathetic comment his best mate made he's gone! He's fragile enough without you sticking the boot in"

"Are you gunna let her talk to me like that?" Adam asked his mum.

"You're lucky I'm even back here with ya, I'm on Chas' side Adam, and I've never been ashamed of you before until tonight"

"He knew people would be looking Adam! He was god damn trying and I am so close to ripping your head off!" Chas growled and turned away before she actually made good on her threat. Silence filled the room for a few seconds but were replaced by Chas' tears, upon hearing how distraught of a state she was in Moira slapped Adam over the head hard and glared. "This isn't over" she muttered. "Now look what you've done!"

"He got into this mess in the first place, I tried my conscience is clear" Adam replied.

"That's all well and good but there are times when you speak to a recovering addict like that Adam…" Marlon told him. "And that's never, you practically told him no one wanted him here, that's a damn lie and you were only nasty like that because it's hurting you too"

"I couldn't care less actually" Adam replied quickly before he stormed out.

…

"Yeah Chas I'm at bar west now, I'll have a look around I'll let you know" Jackson told her over the phone then hung up and headed into the heaving bar. Jackson asked at the bar if they'd seen him, when he'd given a quick description they knew who he was on about. "Yeah mate he's in here somewhere, good luck with finding him" the barman shouted back over the noise.

Jackson nodded and stepped away from the crowded bar, he had to think like an addict. _Where would I be? _Jackson pouted and walked quickly over to the toilets, there were a few people in and one of the cubicles was locked, he walked into the one beside it and stood up onto the toilet seat and looked over, he wasn't expecting to see what he had though, Aaron bent over receiving it up the arse by someone who was probably a complete stranger, then he saw the empty bag, Jackson growled angrily and jumped down, he left the cubicle and stood in front of the locked one, he held out his hand in a fist and hit the door repeatedly three times which seemed to have startled them inside. "Open this door right now!"

"Jackson?" Aaron asked as he quickly buttoned up his jeans.

"Yep that's me, you've got three seconds before I call the police and get you done for public indecency and drug use"

"You wouldn't dare"

"Oh really? We'll see about that shall we?" but as soon as he'd said that the door flung open and a grim drug worn face looked back at him, Jackson lunged at the stranger and grabbed him by his collar and dragged him out.

"Woah, Woah! I-is he your boyfriend?" he asked Aaron.

"No I'm not his boyfriend, but thank your lucky stars I'm not because I'd have done more than drag you out by your collar! Get the hell out of here"

The stranger nodded and ran as Jackson let him go, then Jackson looked back at Aaron. "And you!" he raged. "You're giving this place a bloody bad name! You're disgusting, absolutely filthy what I just saw you doing, okay not the act itself but with a random, and no protection either?!"

"You saw?"

"Yeah I needed to know who was in there I've been looking for you for hours…god look at the state of ya…" he reached out and grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the toilets into the loud bar then he leaned close to Aaron and spoke into his ear. "Was it worth it Aaron? Was it? Because guess what! You're going to have to go through it all again and you've brought it on yourself!"

Angrily Aaron pushed into Jackson to serve as a distraction and once he had gotten the van keys from Jackson's pocket he ran. "Shit!" Jackson cursed as he steadied himself and ran after him.

* * *

**TBC…**


	11. Army Of Two

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"Army Of Two"**

* * *

Jackson ran to where he'd parked his van up one of the side streets, he hoped Aaron hadn't found it but when he heard the rev of an engine he ran faster and rounded another corner to where headlights blinded him, it was his van in the same place but with Aaron in the driver's seat.

Aaron smirked and put the van into gear and dropped the hand brake and started to drive but Jackson quickly ran around the side and jumped in before his speed had picked up. "This is crazy Aaron! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Driving your van, didn't really want any passengers but what the hell"

"Aaron! You're high on drugs and you're driving MY van!"

Aaron shrugged. "So, this isn't exactly a city, and we'll be out of the busy bit soon anyway"

"Exactly busy! You're so fucking wreckless it's unbelievable! You can't drive and you don't have a license!"

"Just because someone doesn't have a license Jackson, doesn't mean they can't drive! I used to drive loads at the garage"

"Never high on cocaine though eh?" Jackson asked as they stopped at a red light. "How long have we known each other?"

Aaron sighed as the lights started to change back to green and the van started to move again. "Two months"

"And I've always been there for you, now you're back to square one!"

"So, I don't want to stop anyway, I've changed my mind, I'm better off this way"

"Bette-" Jackson stopped and shook his head. "That's the most stupid thing I've ever heard…look I know what Adam said to you and he doesn't mean it"

"Did he say that?"

"We…well no but…"

"Well then he does" Aaron corrected him.

"There's never an in-between with you is there? Everything's black and white"

"Oh shut up Jackson you sound like Paddy!"

"Yeah I might do, but that's what you want isn't it? Someone who cares for you like he did?"

Aaron shook his head.

"You're a liar, that's exactly what you want!"

"Shut up!" Aaron told him as they turned off onto a pitch black country road.

Jackson sighed. "Stop the van and let me drive"

"Nope"

"Yes you will Aaron; I'm not letting you put my life at risk"

"I'm not going to hurt you, hell I didn't even want you here I just wanted you to see me driving off"

"Fair enough you might not want to hurt me but your head is all over the place for god sake, you shouldn't be driving"

"Have I had an accident yet? Have I swerved? Have I let go of the wheel?"

"No" Jackson replied with a frown. "Hardly the point though, anything could happen and I'm not letting you hurt yourself or me"

Aaron frustratingly shook his head and slowed the van down and stopped the van at the side of the road. "This is your stop"

"Erm, I don't think so somehow…"

"Whatever I'm bored of you now!" Aaron told him and opened the door and got out of the van and walked in front of it.

Jackson quickly got out too and walked to the front and leaned back onto the bonnet. He could relax a little now he wasn't behind the wheel. "That's the thanks I get is it?"

"I didn't mean it like that; I just meant tonight…all you do is go on at me, on and on and on…"

"Somebody has too"

"And who are you exactly, Jackson?"

"I'm a mate"

"Of who's, my mum?"

"You but yeah her too"

Aaron rolled his eyes. "Then you know all the ugly stuff do ya? Every bad thing I've ever done"

Jackson nodded. "Yeah, pretty much"

"Then please enlighten me, why the hell, are you here with me?"

Jackson hung his head for a second and then looked back at him. "Because I care"

"Why? Even after two months I'm still a stranger to you"

"No you're not, don't be daft, I know a lot about you, I've seen the pictures of you and Paddy, you looked happy…"

"Don't"

"Why? You've got to face it Aaron, talk about him, you can talk about him for as long as you want too"

"But I don't!" Aaron yelled and he walked back to the van and sat in the driver's seat, Jackson walked to the driver side and Aaron rolled down the window before locking both doors. "I'm not coming out, I don't want to hear anything about Paddy, and I certainly don't want to talk about him, he's gone! Dead and buried and he left me and you know what, I hate him for it!"

"No you don't Aaron" Jackson panicked, he could drive off anytime and Aaron's move to lock the doors was obvious. "You love him, you always will, you don't hate him you just hate what your grief got you into"

"Nah, you're wrong, the feeling it gives is amazing, you should try it actually"

"Never have and never will touch drugs, so don't start with that crap"

"I'm not, I'm just saying"

"Yeah well, don't…" Jackson told him then sighed. "I need to know for your own sake alright, how many times have you had unprotected sex?"

"J-just that once" he replied quietly as he looked away from Jackson.

"Once is enough…" he told him as he rubbed his face. "I'll book you an appointment for the sexual health clinic"

"No!" Aaron told him with a scowl.

"Err, yeah! There's times when pride has to be swallowed and this will be it, you're going end of!" Silence passed for a minute or so before Jackson spoke again. "W-what do you think of me Aaron? I'm just curious"

Aaron sighed and shook his head, why did he want to know? "I think you're a good, kind person who is trying his best to help a druggy out of a mess, you've put your life on hold for this" he emphasised this by pointing at himself. "I've punched you in the face, I've kicked and screamed at you, and I've screamed some pretty nasty things to you"

Jackson smirked. "You have, I don't see this as putting my life on hold Aaron, I see this as helping someone I care for so much and you can't see it can you and it hurts"

Aaron lowered his head and shook it, maybe he should have seen how much he cared. "I've heard the words, you telling me and that but I don't see it, I don't get it…all I can see is how I can get away to get a fix…a-and I managed it…"

Jackson nodded. "Have you ever had a boyfriend Aaron?"

"What? Like a relationship?"

"Yeah" Jackson replied with a nod.

"No, I'm just used to putting out for money…no emotions involved"

"Could you ever love someone like that? Emotions and everything that goes with a relationship?"

Aaron shrugged. "I've never really thought about it"

"Because you haven't had reason too, you do drugs cause you believe there's nothing else worth living for, that you're worth nothing, that you're disgusting…" Jackson told him while Aaron nodded his head but Jackson was shaking his. "And you're not" he said as the sting of tears could be felt in his eyes. "I've seen your pictures, I've seen you bare naked in my bed on holiday, you Aaron are beautiful and you need to believe in yourself, and you have to start thinking about a life without drugs because like I said, I couldn't deal with you ending up in the ground, no one could"

It was that moment that Aaron chose to look back at Jackson and he frowned when he saw the tears down Jackson's face. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm not I just-"

"No you are"

"B-because I just realised something that's all" he shook his head.

"What?"

"It's not the right time Aaron" he put on a smile. "It's alright"

"No it's not alright; I've upset you again, just like I do every day! I've never heard anyone cry like you did after I hit you since my mum at Paddy's funeral, w-what have I done? Besides the obvious"

Jackson shook his head. "It's just seeing you, the state you're in, my heart is actually breaking Aaron, it is and I can't stop it…I love you" he admitted loud and clear and he could see Aaron's body tense and he looked away, he was frowning.

"I-it's alright I'm not expecti- No Don't!" Jackson yelled when Aaron put the van into gear and dropped the hand brake again.

"I-I…I can't hear this right now" Aaron muttered before driving off, then quickly the van gained speed leaving Jackson to loudly curse himself on the dark country road.

After a minute or so Jackson started walking, heading in the direction the van was going. He pulled out his phone from his pocket and found Aaron's name and started ringing. "Come on Aaron" he urged as he walked in the darkness. There was nothing but only the sound of screeching tyres in the far distance. Jackson's eyes widened, a wave of intense heat washed over his entire body and he started to shake as he broke off into a run after Aaron. "God what have I done?"

…

Jackson was exhausted, his lungs and legs were burning but he couldn't stop, he couldn't, he had no idea what had happened, he had to get to him and quickly, as fast as he humanly could, the images in his head were making him run faster but he wasn't happy at what his mind was conjuring, it made him want to be sick. It seemed like a lifetime had passed since he'd started running but when he finally reached the end of the never-ending bend, he was ecstatic to the point of crying but shocked to see the van stopped in the middle of the road upright a few hundred metres up ahead. He had stopped and he was panting, his chest was rising up and down quickly, it actually hurt to breathe! Jackson was physically fit but for a run like that? Obviously not

When he eventually neared the van he ran to the driver's side and upon seeing Aaron he burst into tears but something was wrong and he stopped himself. Aaron was staring out into the road, seemingly transfixed by the light beaming out onto the road from the headlights. Jackson frowned and pulled back the door handle and opened the door.

Aaron swallowed hard but his eyes remained on the road. "…It just came out…I-I slammed the brakes…it was just a rabbit but still…I-I had to stop…it's just an innocent little thing…with a family…a mum, a dad probably, brothers, sisters…" he explained sadly as quiet as anything, he was shaking with tears running down his face. He cleared his throat and carried on. "…I was going to keep going straight on, d-despite the bend up there, th-there's train tracks" he sobbed out. "Train tracks…on the other side…I- erm…I dunno…" he told Jackson then turned to see him in tears as he slid down and out of the driver's seat.

Jackson swallowed hard and held Aaron gently by his shoulders. "You see that innocent rabbit is you, you're innocent in all of this, you didn't ask for Paddy's death, but yes you chose to take the drugs the first time but it took hold of you, you probably didn't expect it too but it did. T-the van and the brakes you used to stop running it over, well they're me and your family, we're trying so hard to help you, so you don't end up dead Aaron, and like I said I-I don't know how I could live with that actually…what I said back there…"

Aaron frowned and looked into his big teary brown eyes. "Y-You didn't really mean it did you?"

"No I did, but I never realised I did until tonight…and despite the fact I love you I'm still going to help you, that's why I'm here…and you will get better and when you do, who knows you might feel something, if not we can be mates, but I can't help how I feel"

A small smile crept onto Aaron's lips. "I can't exactly judge can I?"

That made Jackson chuckle and he shook his head. "No, not really"

Aaron gasped and blew out a deep breath and he cried. "I'm so sorry, you are saving me…I'm just so hooked that all I can see is the cocaine…and not the help that's in front of me…I do want to stop…Jackson I do…" he told him with a nod, his tone was confident and very sure.

"And I will be here by your side like I have been, I'm not going anywhere"

Aaron sobbed as he nodded his head. "I don't think I could take it if you did"

Jackson pulled him into his arms and held him tight. "I won't, you're so strong and brave, you can do this…no _we_…we will do this together" Aaron nodded against Jackson's chest.

* * *

**TBC…**


	12. Just Give Me A Reason

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"Just Give Me A Reason"**

* * *

_**Hi guys, been a few days since the last update, hope you all like this. This was a weird one for me, some parts I love, some I don't...hope it reads alright that's all I hope for lol Enjoy!**_

* * *

Two weeks had passed since Aaron's relapse and their chat on the country road; once they got home and Aaron started to come down they both knew it was the start of it all once again and Aaron was scared but Jackson reiterated to him that he was going nowhere; then the endless days and nights of Aaron screaming abuse, the screaming and crying during the night after being woken by vivid and apparently scary dreams and during the day not to mention the hallucinations. Aaron was so ill, he hadn't eaten a thing which didn't help matters but he'd gotten over the initial crash, now they were back to the stage of one day at a time and Aaron was helping Jackson back at Dale head.

The mention of Jackson loving him had not been brought up again by either of them.

During the past few weeks Aaron hadn't seen anyone except Jackson but he knew people had visited but one person he knew definitely hadn't been round was Adam, he didn't care; they were done as far as he was concerned. Aaron relapsing wasn't Adam's fault but he didn't help matters and he wasn't sure if he could forgive him for that, especially after what he had gone through with Holly, he knew what he going through but he still made him feel like shit. Aaron was sure though that even if it was the last time he'd speak to him it would be so he could ask Adam why he'd done that, he needed to know and it was bothering him a lot.

Jackson was fixing a hand rail to the staircase while Aaron was holding it up for him and he could tell it was on his mind, but asking him to talk which he had not done much of lately was like getting blood out of a stone. He frowned and returned his attention to the drill in his hand and the hand rail. Once it was done Aaron sat on one of the stairs and in silence, Jackson looked at him with a small smile. "What's up?"

Aaron pouted and shook his head. "Nothing important"

"Course it is and you can talk to me about anything, I don't judge you, I never will"

Aaron smiled appreciatively at him then let out a sigh and scratched his forehead while he scrunched his face which made his nose wrinkle, Jackson thought it was adorable, sexy even and his smile widened as he watched him. "It's just…just Adam" Aaron shrugged.

"What about him?"

"I just wanna know why Jackson, that's all"

"In time you'll probably get your answer but you have to focus on you right now, not him"

"Yeah I know but we were best mates you know? It's just weird; I thought he'd be here for me that's all"

"I've never stopped anyone being here to help you so if his problem was with me I'd rather he just say but for now just concentrate on you, you'll get your answers"

Aaron nodded and got back to his feet. "What now?"

"Well I've got some wood to cut out the front so if you wanna grab your paint roller and start the kitchen?"

Aaron rolled his eyes and groaned.

"Ahh go on you love it"

Aaron chuckled as he walked down the stairs past Jackson. "Yeah, right" he told him bluntly but with a smile on his face.

A while later Aaron stood with folded arms as he looked up at the wall in front of him, he had indeed painted it technically but from his mind came his, well Jackson's suggestion of a list of all those he had hurt, there was no specific name he simply wrote in paint _everyone_. His attention was diverted when he heard a loud cry of pain from Jackson. Aaron's eyes widened and he felt panic, it was a strange feeling, and he felt hotter than he already did and his heart was racing as he ran out of the kitchen to the living room and out the front door. When he got outside Jackson was cradling his left hand in his right and all Aaron could see was blood. His panic increased and he quickly walked up to him and without thinking about it he put his arm around him and led him back inside. "I-I'm alright Aaron"

"No you're not, Jesus Jackson did you put your hand under that blade or what?"

"No, no it just -" he stopped and sighed. "I dunno what the hell happened, I was putting the wood in place and my hand slipped under the saw"

"I can see that" Aaron told him and Jackson could hear the panic in his voice and he couldn't help but smile through the pain. He was led to the sink where Aaron had took charge and had been quite firm with him to keep his hand under the water while he ran to the van to get the first aid box. When he rushed back in Jackson was sat down. "Oi I told you not to move"

"It's fine" Jackson told him softly.

"No it's not Jackson, if it was a hand saw then yeah I'd let you off but it's not that's a, it's a…a…" Aaron frowned. "What is that exactly?"

"A mitre saw"

"Okay one of them and it could have cut your hand off you idiot" Aaron carried on as he opened the first aid kit and took out a bandage and knelt down in front of him and started to slowly wrap it around his hand.

"Well compared to what it'd be like if it had done that, this is just a graze…really that's all…"

Aaron sighed and rested back against his legs and hung his head.

"Hey…what's wrong?" Jackson asked softly.

Aaron shrugged with a deep frown on his face which Jackson couldn't see.

"Yes you do, come on"

"I just thought…I dunno…that you had really hurt yourself…seriously and I-I didn't want that…I panicked…"

"I saw that…" Jackson smiled as he reached out and lifted Aaron's head so he could look him in the eyes.

When Aaron was looking up he averted his eyes and swallowed hard. "I haven't experienced panic in a long time, not like that, that's different to the crash from the drugs, well panic is just panic but I know what I mean" he told him with a frown then reached out and carried on wrapping the bandage around his hand.

"Do you give a stuff about me?" Jackson asked with a smirk.

Aaron scoffed. "Shut up"

Jackson chuckled. "Well I give a stuff about you too, lots and lots of stuffs"

Aaron couldn't keep it up for long and he smiled. "Right I'm going to finish the kitchen; you just, just take it easy"

"No can do I'm afraid" he replied as he got to his feet. "Behind as it is, but don't worry" Jackson continued when he saw the guilt on Aaron's face but it really was okay. Declan had been aware of the situation and of course he didn't think he should have gotten involved with him but it wasn't his business so he let him get on with it, as long as the house was done in three months, it had been two already, and Jackson was definitely sure it would be done in a month's time.

Aaron sighed and nodded. "Just be careful, yeah?"

Jackson grinned and nodded his head. "Yeah, course"

…

After a long day Aaron had told Jackson that it was okay if he wanted to go to the pub, he'd go with him and just have an orange juice, Jackson agreed and they had been there twenty minutes now, Jackson sat with his pint and Aaron sat with a pint of orange juice which he frowned at disapprovingly. Jackson had saw his face and smirked as he leaned in closer to him. "It'll do you good"

Aaron nodded. "I know" he replied then he sighed. "Are people staring?"

Jackson looked around to check and they were indeed, he reached out and rubbed Aaron's arm. "Yeah but just ignore them, you aren't that person anymore, yeah there's still a long way to go but you're doing something about it"

"Yeah but it doesn't stop them does it?"

"Hey…since when did you care what people think?"

Aaron shrugged. "I dunno, I'm certifiably depressed so that isn't helping…and I think you're having an effect on me"

"Good, I hope so" Jackson told him with a nod.

"Like earlier, when you cut your hand, the panic…my heart was racing, I got so scared, loads of things filled my mind and getting to you seemed like it took forever"

"You know what Aaron, I'm really proud of you, for going through it a second time to stop and for feeling something else other than the cravings, you caring about me and panicking says so much, its progress" he told him with a smile. "Be proud, mate I am"

"Thanks Jackson" Aaron replied with a smile and shyly he picked up his drink and took a sip.

"Anytime" he told him as he squeezed his arm.

While they were talking Carl had walked into the bar and sniggered at Aaron drinking an orange juice, luckily for Carl neither of them had noticed otherwise Aaron would have been up and at him. But what Carl did next they certainly did notice, he placed a pint down in front of Aaron with one of his smirks plastered across his face. Aaron frowned at him and spoke sharply. "Why'd you do that?"

Carl shrugged. "You're sat drinking orange juice, bit weird innit?"

"No, I'm a recovering drug addict Carl, but during that time I was quite the alcoholic too, I'm detoxing and you know I'm trying, you're just being insensitive so here ya go" Aaron said then picked up the glass and in a quick jerk of his wrist the contents of the glass flung out and soaked Carl, the rest splashing to the floor. "You have it" Aaron grinned.

Chas was watching from the bar and normally that kind of behaviour would have been enough to tell her son to get out but not today, she was rather quite proud actually.

Angry, Carl turned to her. "Are you gunna do anything about that?"

"You've got a washing machine haven't ya?" Carl nodded. "And a dryer?" he nodded again. "Well then" Chas grinned. "No, I'm not, do that again and I'll deal with you myself, it's hard enough for him to come in here as it is, leave him and I mean it"

Carl scoffed and walked out of the bar glaring at Aaron. "I'm watching you"

"Oh get stuffed Carl" Aaron told him with a roll of his eyes then he sighed quietly and got up and grabbed his jacket. "I'm going home"

"Hang on a sec I'll just finish this" Jackson told him and he picked up his glass to down the rest. Aaron nodded and stood waiting.

…

When the pair walked through the front door of Smithy Aaron hung his jacket up and started up the stairs but Jackson gently took hold of his arm. "Hey where you going?"

"Oh erm, bed I suppose, you've put up with me all day I'm not about to let you sit with me when I'm being a miserable git"

Jackson simply smirked. "Again? You sure that's all it is?"

Aaron nodded with a frown.

"I know what this is about"

"Yeah it's about Carl making digs and I really don't need it right now, I'm sick of it Jackson" he told him and slumped down onto the stairs. "I'm so tired, I can't concentrate on a damn thing, and I'm moody, worse than I used to be before the drugs"

"I know but you haven't pushed me away yet"

"And I don't want to, so it's just best I keep some distance between us when we get a chance"

"You don't have too though, it gets kinda lonely down here without you at night, all I'm asking for is an hour or one film? Of your choice"

Aaron sighed. "Alright but can I get a shower first?"

"Yeah" Jackson beamed happily. "Course, I'll go in after you, and I think I will treat you to take away too"

"Ahh so this is all the fun I've been missing eh?" he asked with a smirk. "I saw those pizza boxes in the bin you greedy get; as soon as I'm out for the count you've been stuffing your face"

"Nope that's totally not me, it's the neighbours…"

Aaron chuckled at Jackson's sheepish grin. "What neighbours Jackson?"

"Ah definitely caught me then"

"Yep, got ya bang to rights mate"

Jackson smiled and stared at Aaron "You've got an amazing smile, you know that right?"

Aaron lowered his head and shrugged.

"You have, you're perfect Aaron" Jackson told him softly. "You gunna tell me why you've been avoiding me every night these past few weeks?"

"Come on Jackson, you know already"

"Ah, I see…" he nodded, he had an idea. "Well yeah it was never mentioned again"

"I know I'm sorry it was a shock obviously, I drove off…then I just needed time, and I've thought about it and now I'm really nervous again" he told him and got to his feet.

"No, wait you don't need to be"

"J-just let me have my shower and I'll come down"

"Alright" Jackson told him then walked into the kitchen; he stopped and let out a sigh then opened the door and put the takeaway menu on the side ready.

A flushed, damp Aaron walked back into the kitchen a while later and smiled at Jackson sat on the chair.

"I'm sorry"

"Eh?" Aaron frowned. "What you apologising for?"

"Just thought I might have been a bit full on that's all"

"No, no you weren't you just care Jackson and I'm grateful"

Jackson nodded with a smile. "I've wrote down what I want, get what you like yeah I'll be down in a minute"

"Yeah sure" Aaron replied then bit his lip nervously as Jackson got up from the chair; he sighed when he started to head to the stairs. "Jackson!" he called out and grabbed his arm at the same time. "Wait, j-just wait…I'm a mess, a complete mess alright, b-but when you told me you loved me, I mean that's huge, massive even…"

Jackson looked into Aaron's eyes he could see he was nervous but he didn't need to be but nothing he could do would stop that, unless…

"But you give me a reason Jackson, a reason to come clean, and I am…w-well I'm trying and it's hard like I say I'm a mess…but you love me…" he smiled with tears in his eyes. "That's mad! I don't understand why, n-not yet anyway…but I will…and knowing that alone is giving me the strength to get through these horrible days..." At that point Jackson reached out and wiped away his tears and Aaron rested into Jackson's hand.

His emotions caught his breath and he sobbed. "I'm sorry I dunno what's happening"

"It's alright Aaron" Jackson told him softly.

Aaron nodded. "I have never felt the way I do for you with any other lad but they weren't real" Aaron frowned as he tried to explain. "I wasn't real but since all that, I've had time to think about it and what I feel for you is like what I felt for Paddy…well kinda, not like a dad obviously but love…I love you too Jackson"

Jackson smiled as he stared into his eyes. "From the moment I saw you, I knew"

"I was high" he scoffed. "But I remember that day; I remember how you looked, sexy as hell, perfect too"

Jackson smirked. "Hang on…you were high when you jumped off that cliff?"

"Uhh…yeah…"

Jackson reached out and slapped his arm and Aaron laughed. "Now that was wreckless" he told him off but it didn't have the desired effect because his smirk betrayed him.

"It was but I'm still here to the annoyance of some people" Aaron told him as he rolled his eyes.

Jackson stepped up close to him and placed his arms around Aaron's waist. "Not to me and not to the people that matter right? We all love you"

Aaron nodded with a smile. "I know" he told him as he rested against him and he felt his arms wrap around his back and squeeze him gently. He'd never felt so safe in a long, long time, he hugged back.

"It's just dawned on me you agreed to eat"

"I certainly did"

"About time too skinny arse"

Aaron chuckled. "What happened to perfect eh?" he mocked.

"Yeah you are and even with a little bit more meat on your bones you will be, I've seen old pictures of you remember, _fit_"

Aaron smirked and pulled away and ended up looking into his eyes. "So we're we at then?"

"I dunno" Jackson smiled. "That's up to you; whatever we end up being has to be your choice Aaron"

"I know when people find out they'll think I'm rushing or making a mistake, you might too but I need you Jackson and I want you in my life…"

"What you saying then?" Jackson asked before he leaned in and kissed Aaron softly on his forehead.

"I'm saying me and you, together"

"Are you positive?"

"Yeah, I've had weeks to think about it all Jackson; I'm not doing this on a whim…everything I've thought about has come back to you, you've never left me, you haven't gave up, at least not yet and you give a stuff as you told me earlier"

Jackson nodded. "Well then boyfriend…" he said with a grin. "I'm going to continue being here for you, I'll look after you, I'll help you with the house and we'll take it slow"

"Thank you"

"No, thank you" Jackson told him softly. "For letting me help you in the first place"

With a deep breath Aaron allowed his eyes to close as he leaned into Jackson and their lips met and a charge of electricity surged through him, this was completely different to what he'd done in the past, Jackson wasn't like those lads and Aaron was definitely changing, or in a better word reverting to the person he had used to be. When they parted from the kiss they smiled at each other, then Aaron looked away with a smirk. "You uh…you better go and get your shower done then"

Jackson cleared his throat and noticed his bulge; obviously from Aaron's smirk he'd already seen it. "I better had…and uh…" he leaned in and whispered in his ear. "You're a bit excited yourself"

The husky deep tone and heat from Jackson's breath sent shivers down his body. "And that just definitely made it worse"

Jackson chuckled and walked off upstairs to have his shower, leaving Aaron to order their food, once that was done he grabbed Jackson a can from the fridge and himself a can of pop, there was nothing to say he couldn't drink alcohol but for the past year he'd linked that to cocaine and he just didn't need it, not at the moment and it didn't bother him surprisingly. One thing he had kept doing however was cigarettes which Jackson knew about, he needed one so he stepped outside, like he had for the past year he could have had it inside, he had with the drugs but now it was a fresh start he didn't want nothing like that in the house. He lit his cigarette and looked down the village but when he had he saw Adam nervously heading up to the cottage. Aaron let out a deep guttural groan and thought about going back inside to hide from him, but he'd seen him now so it would be pointless.

"What do you want Adam? You haven't bothered with me for a long time so why now?"

"I came to, well I came to apologise to you, and it's a bit late but as it goes its better than never right…?"

"Do you have any idea what it did?"

Adam swallowed hard. "Yeah, I do…and I'm really sorry Aaron, I know you were trying then and you are again now and I'm glad" he smiled. "I am…what I said to you in the pub was vile and absolutely uncalled for…I don't want us to fall out"

"We already did Adam, I needed you"

Adam looked away, he was ashamed of himself. "I was there for you for a long time Aaron but you just never listened you've gotta understand how draining that was"

Aaron nodded. "I do now yeah and I'm sorry for what I put you through, I really am, I'm getting there now"

"I can see that" Adam said with a smile and tears in his eyes. "I was jealous, jealous of some guy none of us knew coming in and getting you to stop when all we've ever done is try"

Aaron nodded, he could understand that actually. "I know, earlier I wanted to know why you did it but it clicked earlier, I dunno todays been a strange one, everything all of a sudden has made sense. I can't explain how Jackson got me to stop but don't resent him for it"

"No I don't, I just…I wish one of us could have gotten through to you…we love you"

"I know you do but it doesn't make you any less important to me because you couldn't do that alright?"

Adam suddenly started crying and he put his head in his hands. Aaron frowned, and he quickly hugged him. "What I got into was my own damn fault, but I'm still here, I'm so sorry for what I've put you all through, it doesn't seem enough but that's all I can say, I'm sorry"

Adam pulled away and nodded. "I forgive you Aaron but please don't touch the stuff again mate please, please I'm begging ya!"

"I won't, I promise and I mean it…no lies…"

"I trust you and I'm pleased you're in good hands" Adam smiled.

"Yeah I am, I owe him everything, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him"

"I understand" Adam smiled a little as he wiped his tears away.

"But I still need you; Jackson can't do this all on his own"

"But he's managed so far, right?"

"Well yeah but no…" Aaron shook his head. "At the same time, no he hasn't, he's suffered just as much as me I'd say and miraculously he's still here and I-…I love him, he loves me, crazy isn't it?"

"You what?"

Aaron frowned. "Don't Adam, just be happy for me yeah?"

"Well y-yeah course but love?"

Aaron shrugged. "That's what it feels like, I care about him and he cares about me, he's taught me how to care about myself again too actually, it's happening slowly but he's done it"

"As long as you know what you're doing"

"I do" Aaron told him with a nod.

"Well then I'm happy for ya" Adam told him with a smile. "I gotta get off though; I'll come by tomorrow though if that's okay?"

"Yeah, yeah sure" Aaron nodded and flung his cigarette away. "See ya" he told him then was left confused by his conversation with Adam to the point there was a scowl on his face, if he didn't approve well then it was just tough, like he had told Jackson he had weeks to think about things, this wasn't spur of the moment, thanks to Paddy he knew what love was when it came knocking and he had certainly heard Jackson's knocks.

* * *

**TBC…**


	13. The Chat

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"The Chat"**

* * *

_First off I will NOT tolerate so called 'reviews' when all it contains are malicious remarks, what I will say to you ANON keyboard warrior, is that if you do not like my stories then don't read them it is as SIMPLE as that. I don't write for anyone except myself! In fact don't even look at my stuff in future, you are one sad pathetic individual and you need to get a grip of yourself. I would still write and upload my stuff whether I got views and reviews or not, so I will continue. You have achieved nothing and never will, I'm going to crack on now so I really hope you enjoy this chapter :)_

_And to my regular readers/reviewers, thank you and I love you all; the support is appreciated so much! x_

* * *

**_TWO WEEKS LATER_**

"_I don't know why I hesitated; I was scared I suppose…you know what I'm like. But you and I both know why I haven't been here for a very long time…I'm so ashamed of myself and I'm the only person to blame for it all, nobody else and certainly not you. Life just deals us blows some times and it affected me drastically but I'm getting better now…sort of"_

…

"Your mum?" Aaron asked as he swallowed hard. "Are you actually taking the piss or what?"

Jackson chuckled as he walked into the kitchen to see Aaron's jaw on the floor and the blatant scared look in his eyes. "Well yeah, why not? I know all your family Aaron"

"Yeah but…" Aaron sighed. "I'm a recovering junkie Jackson…ha Jackson's junkie…" he grinned, finding what he had just said hilarious but his grin disappeared and his shoulders slumped. "Okay maybe not THAT funny"

"No" Jackson smirked with a frown. "And inaccurate, what you said first time around however was" he grinned. "Recovering is the key word there and you my man are doing brilliantly"

Aaron nodded his head. "Thanks but I don't feel like I'm doing brilliant, the urges are so strong, even now…and rattling around this house isn't doing any good but I have no job either"

"Well you chose to stop helping me Aaron"

"Yeah I know…because I'm useless Jackson, I'm more of a hindrance than a help and that's your job I'm not fucking that up for ya"

"Alright, well fair enough but you could come and keep me company"

"Nah I'm boring"

Jackson chuckled. "God you really are on a downer today aren't ya?"

Aaron hung his head and nodded. "Yep" he said in a sigh. "But it's not just today, I'm miserable and down and boring every single day and I'm getting sick of it now"

"How about you look online for a group thing or something you know like the AA but for recovering addicts"

Aaron scoffed. "Not a chance"

"Why not?"

"I don't want too"

"Alright then go and ask Cain for your job back"

"I've got more chance of hell freezing over than I have him letting me back"

Jackson shook his head with a smile. "There's no talking to you today is there?"

Aaron shrugged and looked sulkily. "I'm sorry"

"No don't be you're alright" Jackson said with a smile as he stepped closer to him and wrapped his arms around Aaron's neck. "I love you; whatever mood you're in…it doesn't seem like a mood as such you're just bored that's all"

Aaron nodded. "I love you too; I'll see you later yeah? I'm gunna go sleep away my afternoon" he told him as he walked away to the stairs.

Jackson sighed. "Ah Aaron"

"No its fine Jackson go back to work babe, I'll be alright"

Jackson sighed and in that moment hated that he had to go back to work, he hated seeing his boyfriend the way he was and there was nothing he could do about it.

…

"…_You probably wouldn't believe it but uh…I have a man in my life and I mean a proper one not just some lad that I…you know, he's proper, he's got his head screwed on you know? Mature…most of the time" Aaron chuckled. "He's fit…obviously…but it's not just about that. The way he is, his personality…how he is with me, it all adds up to the reasons why I love him, and I do…it's strange really cause several months ago I didn't care about myself or anyone else for that matter, I got what I wanted and took their money after sex…he's changed me, for the better but he's helping me in his own way I think you'd like him…you'd get on actually he has a sense of humour, he's kind, caring…the things you wanted for me… he's a good man, l-like you were Paddy" Aaron spoke with tears running down his face. He sighed and with a frown he contemplated what he wanted to say next. "At dinner time Jackson suggested I go ask for my job back…I don't how I have the nerve to be honest but I'm going too, I have to start making amends with people…even Cain I suppose and I know what you'd say now if you could, that it wasn't his fault well it's just funny how he supposedly did some work on your car to make it better but then you have an accident that kills you, it was his fault Paddy but there's not a damn thing I can do about it now is there, I wish I could…I wish I could change a lot of things but I can't, t-that's why I'm scared that I won't be able to fix things with people…I've got my work cut out for me haven't I?"_

…

Sheepishly Aaron walked up the forecourt of the garage he hadn't seen his uncle since his show in the pub a month or two back. He swallowed hard and stopped to the side of the car Cain was working on. "Cain…" he said quietly. "I know this will never be enough for what I've put you through but I am so sorry" his tone was genuine and totally sincere, something even Cain couldn't miss.

Cain stopped working and looked up at his nephew. "Sorry?"

Aaron nodded quickly. "Yeah…"

"You could have killed yourself Aaron!" he told him angrily but the drive of that anger was the care behind it, he cared about Aaron and it scared him, like it had them all.

"I-I know" Aaron nodded again. "I'm not using anymore though and I'm getting better, slowly, it's not easy but it's what I deserve"

"Damn right, I'm glad you're going through hell, you might just understand just a bit of the hell we were in at witnessing you deteriorate and then for our pleas to fall on deaf ears"

"I know and I'm glad too because I know that if I take the stuff again I have to start all over and I won't let that happen again" he took a breath. "I don't want to push my luck Cain but I'd like it if you forget everything nasty I've ever said to you because it wasn't me talking…" Aaron swallowed hard. "It wasn't" he reiterated as tears filled his eyes, in the past he had to keep up some big man image in front of his uncle but now in that moment he couldn't, he hadn't the energy too. "And I'm sorry" he told him. "I'm recovering and I'm done with it now, I never meant to hurt you, I didn't mean the things I said…so if you can please forget them"

Cain sniffed and glared hard at him. "So which Aaron am I getting now then? Hmm?"

Aaron sighed. "The old one, me Cain, the real me…I've stopped I'm not going back on it, I mean it, I'm being the person I used to be or I'm trying at least, please…"

Cain sighed and nodded. "I understand that you weren't yourself but the things you have said though Aaron, hurt like hell alright…but I can put that down to drugs and I can see you're trying…you're looking better…"

Aaron nodded. "I'm sorry" he told him as tears fell from his eyes. "I don't know how I can ever make it up to you; I've let you down, let you all down"

Cain shook his head and his bravado faltered and he walked to him and hugged him. "It was a mistake but you're fixing it" he told him as he squeezed him. "And if you tell anyone about this hug I'll have to hurt ya"

Aaron chuckled as they parted and he wiped his eyes. "A day at a time right…I'm cautious Aaron, course I am you can understand that?"

"Yeah" Aaron told him.

"Alright well, get out of it then I've got work to do"

…

"_So I went…I started building the bridge…it'll take time…I couldn't ask for my job back though Paddy, it just felt wrong, he has to trust me again first which I get…I think the only person who has come back into my life properly has been Adam, I hurt everyone equally as much but with Adam I just feel there's a bit more hurt there for him…I don't know…but when he's around at the house he's very close as if he's scared I won't be here the next day or something, the thought of it upsets me actually, really badly aswell, he left the other night and when I was alone in my head I could just see his smiling face but the worry in his eyes too and it killed me, it did…I broke down in my room…what the hell have I done Paddy? I wish you were here cause you'd be able to make sense of everything for me but then again if you were none of this would have happened" he sighed. "I'm still a bloody mess aren't I? At least I have Jackson" he said with a smile. "He always has the right answers, knows what to say well most of the time anyway, this morning he mentioned his mum, and did I panic? God yeah…she knows everything apparently which I understand him telling her but Jesus…how can I look the woman in the eye? She'll hate me already" he shuddered. "I don't even want to think about it…hopefully Jackson has the sense to wait, I'm not ready to meet the mother yet, not a chance, it's the last thing I need right now" After a few seconds of silence Aaron spoke again. _

"_So I think I've babbled on enough, I'll go back to him now before he starts to panic, he should be home now anyway…I wish I had come here a lot more and I'm sorry I haven't but I will from now on and I hope you too can forgive me and I'm sorry for letting you down, I never meant too, grief mixed with my stupid decisions caused this and I'm paying for it now but I hope one day you'll look down and I'll have made you proud…I love and miss you Patrick, so, so much you have no idea" Aaron got to his feet and placed his hand on top of the headstone. "Sleep tight dad" he said quietly before walking away._

...

Aaron walked into the house and started talking straight away as he closed the door then as he took off his shoes and jacket and put them away properly "Jackson!" he called out. "I did something…I-I went to the grave, Paddy's…I was there a few hours, aside from a visit to the garage…I spoke with Cain and I think me and him, well…we're going to be okay I think…" he told him excitedly and he turned to walk into the kitchen, he looked down and rubbed down his trackies that had bits of newly cut grass on them from the graveyard. "I know it's not much progress but it's something ri-" Aaron had looked up at that point and he swallowed hard when he saw the stern looking woman sat next to Jackson at the dining table, he didn't even have to think, he knew who she was and inside he was screaming, on the outside the colour in his face had drained and his mouth had gone dry and he felt sick.

Jackson smiled awkwardly. "Aaron, my mum Hazel, Mum this is Aaron, my boyfriend"

Hazel looked Aaron up and down and the look of disgust didn't surprise Aaron but it did Jackson. "So I see…"

"Don't…mum" Jackson muttered.

"You have no idea how much I'm holding it all in right now son" she said as she turned to look at Jackson.

"...Hi…" was all Aaron could say with a nervous wanted nothing but to run upstairs and stay there until she had gone but she was visiting her son, she could be there all night. Yep! He really didn't need her at the moment. "I'll just go and let you two have some peace…I'll be in the living room" he told them quickly and started walking into the living room.

Jackson could hardly blame him, his mum had turned up after having a word with Sol and finding out where he was, she'd come looking and had more words with him already about Aaron, she didn't approve one bit, it was enough to care enough to help him which was how it all started but when Jackson told her he loved him well she flipped and tried with all her strength to make him see sense but he wasn't budging, he thought she'd have gone already after their argument but she was still there and he was worried as to her reasons for staying, she could forget it if she thought she could come into Aaron's home and start on him, it just wasn't happening.

* * *

**TBC…**


	14. For You

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"For You"**

* * *

_-Some sexual content within-_

* * *

Hazel sighed and shook her head as Aaron disappeared into the living room. "Well that's rude"

"What did you expect? He wasn't ready to meet you, and you didn't know that, I get it but you coming here it's not what he needs"

"I came here to see if you were alright Jackson, no one's heard from you for god knows how long"

"Well I'm fine"

"Yeah all loved up I see in a nice house, pity about the bloke though"

Aaron hung his head and sighed from the living room, he could hear every word and he wasn't going to let her say stuff about him. He got up and stormed back into the kitchen. "I want you to leave"

"Is that right is it?" Hazel asked.

Aaron nodded quickly. "Yeah this is my house and I don't want you here"

"Aaron…" Jackson spoke, he wanted to try and calm the situation.

"No I'm sorry Jackson but she's sat in my kitchen, oh yeah course! She's happy enough to do that though isn't she? But badmouthing me and she hasn't got a clue"

"Actually I..." Jackson tried to get a word in but Aaron was on one.

"I have got a clue actually, Jackson told me all about the addict he cared enough about to help which I had reservations about but it's up to him but now I hear you're both in love" she said with a laugh. "Give me a break, you haven't known each other for two minutes…and I certainly disapprove of it, you're getting better yeah I commend you for taking that step and to Jackson for helping you but I don't trust you, you look exactly like I pictured…a thug and after hearing about the punch now I see that's exactly what you are" Jackson shook his head in shame. "So now you're on the mend I'd appreciate it if you let my son go and to get on with his life please"

Aaron frowned. "I haven't made him be here! How dare you! If he wants to go then it's his choice! He can do whatever the hell he likes"

"See!" Jackson raised his voice, angered by his mum. "Now look what you've done! Aaron you know I wanna be here"

Aaron raised his eyebrow and just stared at Jackson. "Do you though? Really?"

"Yes! Course I do, despite what my mum says I do love you, it might seem like two minutes to you mum but it's been nearly four months now and in that time we've gotten to know each other"

Hazel sighed. "You've been with some men boy but he…" she shook her head unable to finish her sentence.

Jackson's jaw clenched. "Don't" he warned her. "I know how I feel about him and what you or anyone else says is tough, I don't wanna fall out with you mum but Aaron's with me, get used to it"

"Whatever you might think of me Hazel you should be proud of your son because without him I would probably be dead right now, as much as people like you would love it if I was, but I'm not and it's because of him and over the time we've spent together I fell in love with him and I owe him everything I have because of what he's done for me" he stopped to take a breath. "He helped complete my life and if I could choose how to spend life all over again it would be with him, it would revolve around him like it will for as long as we're together"

Hazel sniggered at his words and shook her head at what she was hearing but Jackson was simply looking at his boyfriend with eyes full of tears and love.

"I'm difficult; I'm no picnic I know that and I can be the nastiest person alive when I want to be"

"To which my son has been victim to as I recall"

Aaron sighed and rolled his eyes. "I had no idea what I was doing then Hazel!"

"Which I did tell you mum, he was suffering and lashed out, he wasn't aware of a damn thing, he was all over the place and no one will ever understand what we've both been through in this recovery process together so don't laugh or make snide comments about us falling in love, it was pretty much set in stone to happen after everything on holiday anyway"

"Oh really?" Hazel asked with laugh.

"Yes really, we liked each other instantly, we met again, here…come on mum you're not stupid"

Angrily Hazel got to her feet. "No I'm not stupid and I know for a fact you will wish one day that you never set eyes on him again"

"No I won't"

"Well we'll see won't we?" Hazel asked.

"No" Aaron told her with a frown. "No he won't Hazel, sorry to burst your bubble and all that but he won't, there'll be hard times to come but we'll see it through together"

"Yeah we will and I'm not falling out with you either mum but if you want to see me then you see him too"

"Not exactly because I'll see you alone, goodnight I'm at the B&B for now…"

Aaron rolled his eyes and stormed out of the kitchen back to the living room, leaving Jackson to see his mum out.

…

When Jackson walked back to the living room he was greeted by a very angry pacing Aaron. He took in a deep breath just as the door in the living room opened stopping him from speaking and Adam walked in with a bag full of cans of lager, they had never been introduced but they knew who each other was.

"Bad time?" Adam asked.

Aaron shook his head and walked over. "Those cans?"

"Uh yeah…" Adam replied with a frown.

"Good" Aaron nodded and took the bag from him and pulled out one of the four packs then pulled one from its plastic ring holding them together.

"Uh Aaron…" Jackson started.

"I need one, and I'll be fine" Aaron snapped back, reassuring his boyfriend as he opened the can then he took one long swig, he was left breathless but satisfied. "I forgot how good this tastes, sorry mate sit down if you like"

Adam nodded. "What's going on Aaron?"

Aaron growled in frustration as he flung himself on the sofa. "Jackson's mum Hazel, she hates me…she's just been round doesn't approve at all"

Adam looked across at Jackson who looked guilty.

"I'm sorry Aaron, but I meant what I told her, I'll never regret meeting you"

"I know you did but I'm so angry at her, who does she think she is Jackson? She doesn't know me"

"I know she just needs time"

"Well I'm sorry but at the moment she isn't getting any of my time, I don't need it right now"

"I know and that's why I'm sorry, I didn't think she'd come here"

"It's alright; it's not your fault"

Jackson nodded with a small smile. "I'll go and let you two have some time"

"No" Adam blurted. "Stay, I don't mind and I know he won't" he smiled.

Jackson frowned. "You sure?"

"Yeah come on it's about time I actually talked to the guy who got through to this lump"

Jackson walked over and sat down next to Aaron who was frowning at Adam. Adam laughed. "What? It's true you big lump"

"Whatever" he told him with a smirk as Adam handed Jackson a can of lager which Aaron could see he was grateful for, he watched his boyfriend and best mate exchange a smile, now this was what he needed!

…

"So mate…I hate to bring this up and since we're both closer again…I'm hoping you don't go mad but when Jackson booked that last appointment at the clinic you bailed…which I understand in a way but you have to get tested Aaron"

Jackson nodded. "And before he even replies cause I know what he's going to say will you remind him that just cause there's no visible signs it doesn't mean he hasn't got anything"

"He's right Aaron" Adam told him.

"But it was just the once and I'm finding this really uncomfortable talking with you about this"

"Well I'm not uncomfortable" Adam shrugged. "Come on we're mates again Aaron you don't need to be, I never stopped caring and once is all it can take so just go and get tested"

"And have someone…ugh…I don't want to imagine it" Aaron replied with a scrunched expression and he shuddered at the thoughts in his head.

"Well don't" Jackson chuckled. "Just let me take you and it'll be over"

Aaron sighed. "Alright, book another appointment then?"

Jackson grinned. "I already did, it's tomorrow I was going to take you regardless"

Aaron smirked. "I should have known eh?"

"Yep" Jackson grinned as he wrapped his arm around him.

As the night went on Adam and Aaron were smashed, completely! But Jackson was limiting himself so he could look after Aaron. Music was playing loudly and Aaron and Adam were laughing about something in their past that Jackson had no clue about naturally, it was refreshing to see, friends having fun after making up and Jackson was happy just to be there despite not being involved in the banter but he didn't mind. He watched as Aaron got up and stumbled out of the room as he loudly declared he 'needed a piss'. "Charming or what?" Jackson asked with a smirk.

"Ahh you love my charm!" Aaron called back.

"And what charm is that, exactly?"

Adam chuckled at Jackson's reply. "I know what you mean; he hasn't grasped that yet…"

"Oh there's still time" Jackson replied but said nothing else, Aaron leaving them both to it made it a bit awkward for them both.

A minute or so passed before Adam decided to speak. "Listen, while he's not here I just want to say thank you, to you…and sorry aswell I guess. I was jealous that you got him to stop and none of us who he knew could…I'm sorry for that and I'm sorry for making you go through the crash for the second time, I know what it's like and I was horrible. I'd like to get to know you, you seem a great bloke, Jackson and I'm happy Aaron's got you, I suppose now I see why he loves you. At first I didn't like the idea, that he was rushing despite what he said but I can see he does and why now so yeah, I'm happy for you both"

"Cheers Adam, you're forgiven" he told him with a smile. "And we can be mates if you pass me another can"

Adam grinned. "Sure thing" he told him as he reached into the bag and pulled one out and handed it to Jackson.

Jackson took it and cracked it open. "Cheers" he said as he held it up, and Adam did the same with his with a smile. Their talk was disrupted by Aaron falling into the living room which made Jackson jump up and run to him but the sight of Aaron sprawled out face down on the floor made him laugh as it did Adam aswell. "Ah what are you like babe?" Jackson asked as he leaned down to pick him up.

"I forgot about the step Jay…" Aaron groaned as he was helped up by his boyfriend. "And the room is spinning"

Jackson chuckled and held him up in front of him. "What did you just call me?"

"Jay…I think why?" he answered with a cute look on his face.

"No reason, I love it…"Jackson couldn't help but grin.

"Oh well…" Aaron replied with a simple nod. "I'll call you that from now on eh?"

"You do that" Jackson told him as he chuckled. "You're smashed babe"

Aaron nodded and his expression changed to one that said 'feel sorry for me' but Jackson shook his head. "Nope, and knowing you you're night isn't over, so have fun" as soon as Jackson stopped speaking Aaron's lips crashed against his and their tongues were rubbing and attacking each other's but they were quickly stopped by Adam.

"Alright lads come on now…" he called out laughing. "This is a party not a snog fest"

Aaron pulled away quickly and wiped his lips seductively but was mindless of that fact as he looked at Adam. "A party? Why?"

"To celebrate you"

"Me?"

"Well yeah, why not?" Jackson grinned.

"Exactly, you're still here with us mate and me and Jackson love ya so come on lap it up" Adam continued.

"Oh alright then…let's have a party, turn the music up mate…" Aaron told him as he stumbled back to the sofa.

…

Aaron groaned as he began to stir, he rolled over onto his side and knocked into something. His mind however couldn't comprehend why or what would be in the bed with him for him to knock into, unless he wasn't in bed? He couldn't remember much of the night and with a sigh he opened his eyes, he was in bed and the sight of an awake, bare naked Jackson beside him shocked him and he moved back which confused Jackson.

"Hey gorgeous"

Aaron swallowed hard. "Hey" he was panicking, he thought he was hiding it but he wasn't, not a chance!

"What's up babe?"

"N-Nothing…" he told him as he shook his head.

"Yes there is babe, come on" Jackson encouraged him.

"D-did we do anything last night? Not that I don't want too or anything but w-…we…-we're taking it slow and I wouldn't want to ruin it…I know it sounds stupid considering we've already had sex, but that was a different me and I'm trying to change now and and…."

"Shhh" Jackson sounded with a smile. "I know what you're saying babe and we didn't, I helped you to bed…I was going to leave you and go to my room but you woke up and pleaded with me to stay, you were all drunk and cute I couldn't resist and say no now could I? So I got in…we cuddled…it was perfect"

"I'm sorry"

"Don't be ya div…we'll have sex and other things when you're ready, alright?"

Aaron nodded with a slight smile, he felt like quite the idiot considering Jackson's understanding.

"Come here" Jackson told him with a grin as he placed his arm out.

Aaron smiled and shuffled closer and rested his head on Jackson's warm smooth chest, he let out a content breath. "I'm sorry for getting so drunk last night" he muttered.

Jackson had let his eyes close again and he too was content with just lying together. "No need for sorry babe, you deserved some fun and Adam certainly knows how to have it doesn't he?"

Aaron chuckled and nodded his head, he was remembering a bit now. "Is it my imagination or did Adam really dance around the living room like a raving lunatic and end up falling over the back of the sofa and rolling off onto the floor before banging his head off the coffee table?"

Jackson then let out a hearty laugh as he nodded. "No that was definitely real, he was alright though, I'm assuming he's still here actually, before I took you to bed I locked up and grabbed him a blanket he was flat out on the sofa with you, was cute actually…I can see why you moved in for the kill wanting to kiss him"

Aaron looked horrified and leaned up and looked at Jackson. "I never told you that"

Jackson chuckled. "Oh but it all came out last night"

Aaron groaned and hung his head. "I was confused at the time"

"I know" Jackson nodded. "No need to explain…I don't judge ya, remember?"

"Yeah" Aaron smiled a little and rested his head back down onto his chest. Silence fell on them and Aaron simply ran his fingers slowly up and down Jackson's chest and stomach, circling his belly button and then moved down slightly past it before slowly bringing his fingers back up.

Goosebumps encompassed him completely, Jackson's breath was shallow, slow and calm, his body relaxed even more. Aaron smiled to himself, he knew it wasn't much but he wanted to do things like that for Jackson, relax him, show him he appreciated him in his own way and the more his fingers continued to trail slowly over his perfect body Aaron wanted to do something else and before he knew it he realised Jackson wanted the same, he had taken Aaron's hand and slowly guided it down his chest and stomach, as he was doing so Aaron leaned up onto his elbow and looked at him, blue eyes stared into brown ones and despite what Aaron had said seconds before it didn't matter to him so much now, it wasn't going to be sex but he wanted to please Jackson, give him some pleasure at least, he deserved that after everything. Aaron gave him a confirming nod and Jackson let go of his hand.

Aaron pushed away the duvet and Jackson's naked body was revealed, it took his breath away and Jackson's loving smile caused his heart to skip a beat, the light beating in through the window lit Jackson up like an angel which is what he certainly was, to Aaron anyway. As his eyes moved down his body Aaron took it all in, he was perfect, fit and just absolutely stunning. He'd slept with fit blokes like Jackson before but the way he made him feel now by doing absolutely nothing spoke volumes, it was new, he'd never felt anything like it and he knew it was love and Aaron knew to never let him go.

His eyes eventually stopped at the neat tuft of pubic hair and the throbbing lengthy erect cock that was resting on Jackson's stomach up to his belly button. Aaron took in a sharp breath, his mouth had gone dry so he swallowed hard, he was a little nervous but he knew what he was doing. He moved his hand round to Jackson's balls and a sigh escaped him as they were cupped and massaged in Aaron's hand. Aaron leaned down and kissed him softly as he moved his hand slowly up and over the shaft then as he gripped his cock from the base he deepened the kiss with Jackson and slowly began the jerking movements.

Aaron's lips left Jackson's and he moved to his neck and kissed him softly before sucking and nibbling. Jackson hissed at the pain but then his moans told him to carry on. When he moved he slowed his hand down which seemed to be something Jackson didn't want. Aaron smirked and looked up at him as he flicked his tongue around one of his nipples. "Would you like me to be faster Mr Walsh?" he asked with a smirk.

"With your tongue or hand?" Jackson asked breathlessly.

"I can do both" Aaron grinned and quickened the jerking movements of his hand around Jackson's throbbing cock and his tongue quickly licked around his nipple and occasionally he flicked it with his tongue. Jackson's chest was rising and falling quickly. Aaron smirked and slowly trailed kisses back to Jackson's neck. As he groaned in pleasure Jackson wrapped his arm around Aaron's head keeping him there.

"Come for me Jay" Aaron whispered against the stubble of Jackson's neck.

Jackson smirked as he moaned louder and he arched his back. "You remember?"

"Oh yeah, I remember" Aaron replied with a grin and quickened his hand movements causing Jackson to respond a little louder as Aaron nibbled and sucked on the opposite side of his neck, then he slowly trailed kisses up to his lips, the whole time feeling Jackson's body shudder. Aaron smirked as he placed a soft kiss on his lips. "Shoot for me Jackson"

Jackson's body shuddered and he felt his cock tense and all of a sudden the pressure was released in thick loads, spurts and spurts shot out up to his stomach, up to his neck even and he couldn't help but get Aaron with it too, Jackson groaned loudly as he held Aaron by the head and kissed him passionately while his load was being forced out by Aaron's hand.

"Oh…wow…" Jackson spoke, he was breathless. "That was just….just something else"

Aaron grinned and moved down Jackson's body with a cheeky sparkle in his eyes. Jackson watched with a smirk and when Aaron started licking cum off Jackson's stomach all the way up to his neck, it was enough to keep him hard for longer. When Aaron was done he looked Jackson in the eyes and swallowed the cum in his mouth, he smirked. "You taste, amazing"

"Someone needs seeing too" Jackson said as he looked and saw Aaron's own erection through his boxers.

"Nope" Aaron shook his head with a smile. "I can wait" he said as he lay back down with his head on Jackson's chest with his arm over his wet sticky stomach but he didn't care.

"You sure gorgeous?"

"Hmm huh…" he told him. "I wanted to do that for you Jackson, this isn't for me"

"Okay" Jackson understood and relaxed. "Well I appreciate what you just did, good touch you've got eh?"

Aaron chuckled. "I guess I have the amount you just shot out"

"Yeah well it has been months"

"What? Not even-?"

"Nope…the last time was me and you in Ibiza"

Aaron looked up at him with a smile. "I love you Jackson"

"I love you too" Jackson told him as he kissed his head.

They settled back into each other's arms and quickly fell back to sleep, Adam and the day could wait, for now it was just the two of them and it had been a perfect wait to start their day together.

* * *

**TBC…**


	15. The Worst Day

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"The Worst Day"**

* * *

For some unknown reason, at least to Aaron he had woken up in a different mood, it was dark and he didn't want to be there, not in Jackson's arms; he didn't deserve it or him. So he discreetly moved and left him asleep in bed as he got out of it, dressed and left the house as quietly as he could, his forehead had a permanent frown etched into it and his eyes seemed darker, his fists were stuffed into his pockets and his hood was up over his head, he knew where he was going, someone needed teaching a lesson.

…

Jackson began to stir and he woke with a smile on his face as the memories of their intimacy earlier that morning came to mind, he turned onto his side and his smile faded when he realised Aaron wasn't there, but he didn't panic he was probably just downstairs. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and sat up then pushed the duvet back and got up, he picked up his clothes from the floor and walked to his room and picked out some clean ones and then headed to the bathroom for a shower.

Cain was in a conversation with Cameron out on the forecourt, discussing what the owner wanted doing and how he complained at their price but then that Cain had to explain that it was a fair price, which it was, he was about to make a comment about people like that customer just as Aaron walked by past the opening to the garage and as soon as Cain clapped eyes on him, the aura or whatever it was coming from him told anyone to stay away but not him, it worried him naturally and he quickly ran over to him. "Aaron?" he didn't get a reply. "Aaron!" he spoke louder and then grabbed his arm. "What's wrong mate? What's up?"

Aaron angrily pulled his arm away from his uncle and looked him in the eyes. "GET OFF ME! DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME AGAIN!" he growled and then continued on his way.

Back at Smithy Jackson walked downstairs to see a very hung over Adam making a coffee, he chuckled and patted his back as he walked in. "Alright mate?"

"Uh yeah…kinda…" he was squinting, he felt sick he had the mother of all headaches and he stunk of alcohol which made him feel worse.

Jackson laughed as he started to walk through to the living room. "Where's he at?"

"Who?"

"Well who?" Jackson stopped and turned to Adam.

"Oh erm…I dunno, I've been awake a while I haven't seen him, haven't heard anything either to be honest, not till you went in the shower"

Jackson slowly began to panic. "Okay…well he wasn't in his room…"

"Eh? Well where is he?"

"I'd love to know!" Jackson told him quickly as he ran back through and stopped in the doorway and grabbed his shoes and pulled them on.

Adam sighed. "Hang on" he said as he rubbed his forehead. "Surely there's a reasonable explanation…you let him go out alone now right?"

"Yeah"

"Well what's with the panic?"

"You haven't witnessed a bad day in Aaron's world have ya? Well after he stopped the drugs I mean…"

Adam swallowed hard at his words and shook his head. "No…"

"Well if this is one then I have a right to be panicked, trust me" Jackson told him as he put his jacket on and opened the front door but was shocked to see Cain barging in. "Woah mate…"

"Jackson!" Cain blurted out breathlessly; he'd run up the village that much was certain. "It's Aaron…he- he doesn't seem himself…looks angry, I tried to talk to him to see what was up but he pulled away and screamed in my face telling me never to touch him again, to get off him…"

"W-well where was he going?" Jackson asked.

"He was heading to Carl's…no other place he could be going in that direction…"

"Ah Jesus! Why didn't you stop him?" Jackson asked as he rushed out of the house with Cain in tow, and they both heard Adam yelling to them that he'd call him.

"Because I had to come and tell you, he isn't about to listen to me is he?"

"Yeah problem is, when he gets like this he doesn't tend to listen to me either Cain!" Jackson shouted, and then he sighed. "I-I'm sorry, you didn't deserve that…"

"Damn right I didn't but considering the situation I'll let you off"

"Before when he's been like this, I keep an eye on him, a close eye…and he comes out of it eventually…"

"Close eye….close eye what does that mean?"

"It means he…he gets even more depressed than he actually is and the thoughts he has aren't normal"

"What? Suicidal"

Jackson nodded.

"B-But he's seemed fine lately Jackson I don't get it…" Cain told him as they passed David's shop which caused a few villagers to stare and watch and try to listen as they carried on down the village, and then the gossips would have their daily fill, unfortunately.

"He has been, but this recovery" Jackson sighed. "It's not physical…yeah he's over the worst…but it's still there, he was hooked for over a year…I was a fool to even think we were getting somewhere!" Jackson raged angrily.

Cain pulled him to a stop outside the opening of the garage, where he and Aaron stood several minutes before. "It isn't your fault Jackson, you're doing the best you can and we can all see that! M-maybe you should take a break away for a few days?"

"NO!" Jackson replied sharply.

"Mate you're knackered, it's bound to be getting to you"

"I don't think this is the right time to be having this discussion do you?" Jackson asked and then quickly continued walking up the road to Carl's house.

…

On his way to Carl's after leaving the grip of his uncle's hand he had picked up a metal pole from the roadside in the grass. He was stood on Carl's drive, he was home, he smirked, pleased about that fact. As he walked further his phone rang and he took it out of his pocket and saw Adam's name flashing up on the screen, he scoffed and angrily flung it at the stone wall of the house ending the annoying tone as it smashed on impact. He grinned, happy that was done. Now he stopped at the side of Carl's car, he let one hand go from the pole and was now holding it with one, it would have more of a swing that way, he chuckled and stepped away, he looked up at the house with a nasty glare, and in the window he saw Carl in one of the upstairs windows looking down with a frown, obviously confused. _Better make it clear for you then eh? _He thought to himself as he swung his arm out towards the car and seconds later the smashing of glass could be heard and Carl was nowhere to be seen, he was on his way.

The windscreen was shattered; Aaron chuckled to himself as Carl emerged running from the house buttoning up his shirt at the same time. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

Aaron frowned. "What? Is it not obvious?" he asked as he smashed the driver side window. "You think you're funny do ya?" he raged as he whacked the pole off the driver side door making a dent. "Snide comments! Thinking you were clever in the pub the other day! Well?" he screamed.

Upon hearing Aaron's scream Cain and Jackson ran faster.

Carl stood holding out his hands. "A-alright…I'm sorry j-just put that down mate and it'll be alright…"

"Mate?" Aaron spat. "I'm not your fucking mate!" he lashed out again and hit the roof of the car with the pole, making another dent.

"Aaron!" Chas screeched as she ran out of the house with a dressing gown around her.

"No, Chas!" Carl yelled but it was too late, he closed his eyes and shook his head as he let out a sigh. He wasn't meant to see that.

Aaron was stunned, he felt some pain even at the sight…after everything…he couldn't comprehend what he was seeing and he reacted in the only way he knew how. In a continuous scream of rage he smashed in the back window and continued around the car until all windows were shattered then he continued with making dents. Chas watched with tears running down her face and Carl stood still, no way was he even attempting to go near him in that state.

"Aaron!" Jackson called out but it seemed Aaron wasn't hearing. He sighed and then much to the shouts against what he was doing he still continued, he was running at him. When he got to him he was stopped by the hard heavy metal pipe hitting his eyebrow knocking him back to the gravel.

Cain and Carl then ran for him but Aaron just dropped the pipe, he saw the damage he'd done once again…to the car but sadly to Jackson, he was flat on his back cradling his head with blood trickling down the side of it over his temple.

He made a run for it and succeeded, he was quick and caught the older men off guard by running around the other side of the smashed up car and he swerved to avoid his mums attempt to catch him and he was off.

"Aaron!" Chas shouted after him.

"LEAVE HIM! Call an ambulance!"

"No!" Jackson replied groggily as he was helped up into a sitting position by Carl. "No, I'm fine…"

"He just walloped you one with that mate!" Cain argued.

"I said I'm fine!" Jackson shouted back but it ended in a cry. In frustration he pushed himself to his feet but was overcome with dizziness and leaned against the car.

"You are not fine Jackson" Chas told him as she approached.

"And neither is he!" Jackson told her.

All of a sudden Cain reacted to what he was witness to minutes before and he grabbed Carl by the scruff of his neck and forced him up against the car. "That car mightn't have been too badly damaged but after what my nephew just saw…" he spoke angrily but then glared at Chas. "I'm not surprised he finished the job! How long have you two been at it, again!"

"A…a few weeks" Carl replied.

Cain pulled him away from the car and pushed him back against it with force. "Did it not occur to either of you that he hated the idea of you two in the first place and with good reason! What you both did to Paddy for starters! And the rest…well you just goad him don't ya eh? Think your some big man do ya, well you're messing with me now mate!" Cain spat angrily. "If I hear you've even breathed on my nephew I'm coming after ya…he didn't need the crap you gave him the other day and he certainly didn't need to see you two like this either"

Chas swallowed hard and hung her head in shame.

"I'm sure you have your reasons, your excuses sis but…he's a cheat, he hurt you and here you are…back with him, well, well done…you've pushed your son further away and back to god knows what"

"No" Jackson sniffed and wiped the silent tears that had been running from his eyes and he stood up straight again. "Not if I have anything to do with it he won't" he told them with force and walked off quickly.

…

"I-I didn't mean to hurt him Paddy" Aaron sobbed out. "I-I didn't…" he cried. "I don't wanna be here anymore…I-I was fine earlier but that's not real…the way I feel now is real…life…" he sighed. "It just takes too much energy that I don't have…I don't" he shrugged as he dropped his head in his hands. "I'm tired now Paddy, I just want to be with you again, I'm sorry but I have to, I'll be okay then, you'll see" he said as he nodded frantically

…

Jackson had stopped in the middle of the village looking around; he couldn't think he was just scared, scared for Aaron…he could do anything!

"Jackson? Jackson love?" Hazel asked as she carefully approached her seemingly dazed son.

Jackson rolled his eyes and looked at her and he saw her eyes widen in horror at the blood on his face.

"What's he done?" she raged angrily.

Jackson shook his head slowly. "N-Nothing, everything's fine…"

"FINE? This is NOT fine Jackson!"

"Ah just leave it mum! I thought you would understand, of all people! And I'd love to explain the ins and outs of his recovery, what he gets like but I don't have time! I don't alright!" he yelled, his face was scrunched as his emotions came out again with full force and he started to cry. "I don't!" he repeated. "Cause he's in a state and he's ran off! And I'm scared!" he sobbed out as Hazel approached him, her demeanour had changed dramatically in those few seconds back to the caring woman she was, she held her arms out to her son as she walked closer to him.

"I'm scared" he replied as his body was racked with emotion but Hazel took him in her arms and held tight and he hugged back as he cried in the middle of the village, in broad day light.

"Shh love we'll find him"

"You hate him" he sobbed out; it was all too much now.

"But I'd be a fool if I couldn't see that you love him darling…come on…"

"N-No…y-you go to the house…I-I dunno if Adam is still there or not, he's his mate, please go and wait there…"

"Alright, are you sure you don't want me to come with you? W-what about his mum?"

Jackson scoffed. "Don't even mention her right now…" then he nodded. "I'm sure; just call me if you see him even if it's out in the village just for a split second, right?"

Hazel nodded and walked up the village.

Jackson went off in another direction and as he walked he pulled out his phone and called Declan. "Jackson? What you calling me for? It's your day off"

"Y-yeah I know, have you seen Aaron around there?"

"Not that I'm aware of, why?"

"…Uh…I-it's bad mate he's gone awol…will you ask Sam to keep an eye out, all of you please…just in case"

"Yeah course mate, I'll go have a drive round if that makes you feel any better?"

"Ah cheers Declan" he replied, relief filled his tone. "I'd appreciate that, just give me a ring if you see him, don't go anywhere near him if you do though unless it's really necessary…"

"Alright, I-it is bad isn't it?"

"Erm…yeah I think so…"

"Alright just stay as calm as possible he'll be around somewhere"

"Yeah no chance of that happening cheers mate" Jackson replied and hung up. "Come on babe where are ya?" he muttered as he broke into a run, desperate to find him.

…

Holly had left the farm to head into the village, she looked up the road going past the farm and saw the unmistakeable height and shape it was Aaron. She frowned, why he was walking further and further away was a mystery, Aaron never walked, not since Clyde had passed, and she had been meaning to talk to him but was scared too, she didn't want to see and be reminded of the effects drugs had on her, but something told her to go to him, she couldn't explain it so she turned and walked to him. She had to run to catch up but when she had she was shocked to see him almost jump out of his skin, but it was quite windy it could have silenced her approach. "Hey…" she said softly. "You alright?"

Aaron averted his eyes and shook his head and continued walking.

"Where you going Aaron?" she asked, concern washed over her, something wasn't right she could see it now.

Aaron shrugged and kept at his pace. "Just away" he mumbled.

"Away why? Where?"

"Just away…I don't wanna be there anymore"

"The village?"

Aaron nodded. "And here…"

Holly frowned and reached out and pulled him to a stop. He pulled away but he stayed still. "Y-you never felt this?"

"Felt what Aaron?"

"So down you just wanna be dead?"

Holly sighed and brushed her hair out of her face and nodded. "Yeah…"

"And I just hurt Jackson for the second time…a-and my mum's back with that scumbag and I-I never knew…Jackson's mum hates me…I'm a thug a-and she's right…Paddy's dead! I am sick of it now Holly, so sick" he told her as his bottom lip trembled but he didn't want to cry in front of her, he hung his head and bit his lip.

She reached out and took hold of his shoulder and gripped it a little. "I'm still here Aaron, I got through it and so can you"

"I can't" he told her as he shook his head.

"Yes you can, you've hurt people, and you think you have no one but you do! Jackson seems like an alright lad, I've seen him around but he obviously cares about you and from what Adam says he believes it…he even mentioned the word love"

Aaron nodded but still wasn't looking up at her.

"Well then, I put my family through hell, y-you even tried to help me but I wasn't having it, you are over the worst Aaron, but this is a bad day"

"It's the worst" he mumbled.

"I get it, I do…but wanting to die…I've been there too, it's horrible you think there's no way out but there is, you have Jackson and he loves you"

"But I've hurt him"

"Yeah and I hurt my family too, not physically but mentally…but they were always there…Aaron, please just keep going, there is a life after, me and millions of other people are proof of that and you could have a great life"

"I-I went mad, I can't even remember doing it until I saw Jackson flat out on the floor bleeding…" he started to sob. "I didn't mean it…I-I didn't…"

Holly nodded and she looked around, her eyes widened at the sight of Jackson approaching but she quickly and discreetly put her hand out and waved it for him to stop and to stay where he was, she turned back to Aaron when she was sure Jackson got the message. "Of course you didn't mean it, you love him"

Aaron nodded but broke down into tears and Holly moved to comfort him but he backed off whilst shaking his head. "No…No I don't want comfort…I don't"

"Aaron, no…don't run just stay with me…come on…I'm your friend…"

Aaron sobbed and kept shaking his head as he kept walking.

"Don't do this Aaron, you know I can't keep up with you!" she called after him as he started off into a run.

"No…but I can" Jackson muttered under his breath and started running again.

* * *

**TBC…**


	16. The Worst Day Part II

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"The Worst Day Part II"**

* * *

Chas stood leaning against the kitchen bench in Carl's house, she was still in her dressing gown, she was crying, still clearly, very distraught about what had just happened. Carl approached her to give her a hug but she pushed him away. "Don't!" she warned him.

Carl sighed and dropped his arms to his side. "He was going to find out at some point"

"That had occurred to me actually Carl yeah, but he's in recovery, I didn't envision all that happening!"

"He came here initially cause of me, the other day in the pub…"

"Yeah and like Cain said that car might not have been as damaged if I hadn't have come out, I-I didn't know what was going on, he was the last person I expected to see here"

"I know, just calm down alright? They'll find him"

"No!" she shook her head angrily. "I won't calm down I don't even know why I'm still standing here" she raged as she walked away to the staircase quickly and Carl followed. "I'm going out looking, I'm his mum for god sake, I have to otherwise I'll never forgive myself if anything happens to him, fair enough he's having one of his bad days but we Carl, just made it worse"

"A-a…alright well I'll come with you"

Chas stopped halfway up the stairs and turned and pointed at him. "No! You can stay here! You aren't going anywhere near him"

Carl chuckled. "What? And you think he'll want to see you do ya?"

"I don't really care Carl he's just gunna have too isn't he?" she told him then carried on up the stairs to go and get dressed.

…

Adam had no clue that the stranger was who was just letting herself in the house, was Jackson's mum, but his initial confusion left him when they introduced themselves to each other. They had been sat talking every now and then about Aaron, Jackson and what was generally going on. "I've called my mum and dad at the farm, they're gunna keep a look out too"

Hazel nodded with a smile. "Sounds like a good idea"

Adam nodded. "You said Jackson was hurt, is it bad?"

"I don't think so but its cut his eyebrow, the blood makes it look worse than it actually is sometimes"

Adam nodded again as he listened. "He'll be alright" he told her as his mobile rang. "Sorry I better take this"

Hazel nodded with a smile as Adam pulled his phone out and answered it, almost instantly he spoke "Woah, Holly calm down, what happened….alright and he's ran after him yeah?...Alright I'll get on the quad try and catch up….you better not have said what I just thought you did…" Adam closed his eyes as he listened to his sister's reply and he rubbed his forehead. "Right, right yeah…I'm leaving now"

"What was that about?" Hazel wondered.

"My sister, Holly just speaking to him, she's never seen him so low, he….he wants to die…he's tired now, by all accounts…"

Hazel frowned. "I never realised it could get like this…"

"Me either, listen will you be alright here?"

"Yes, yes of course just go"

Adam quickly left Smithy and ran over to his quad that was parked on the drive. "I really shouldn't be driving Aaron" he muttered to himself as he got on it and put his helmet on. "The things I do for you eh" he finished before revving the engine and he was off quickly.

…

Debbie had made the decision to close the garage and she'd made that fact clear by a sign near the entrance. She sighed loudly and turned back to her dad, mum, granddad and Lisa. She shook her head. "There's nothing, not even going to voicemail" she told them.

"I should have gone after him!" Cain vented angrily.

"Jackson was hurt Cain you couldn't just leave him"

Cain nodded and rubbed his face in frustration. "He was getting better! Jackson thought so too and he's living there"

"I know" Debbie replied quietly with a nod.

Charity saw Gennie walking up the forecourt. "Any sign?"

Gennie shook her head as she stopped in front of them all. "No but I rang Nikhil and asked him to keep a look out, saw him out running earlier, he still was luckily, so yeah he's looking too"

"What about the police?" Gennie asked, knowing it was futile to even mention them at times but this seemed to be a time when they needed them.

"What? No!" Cain replied.

"Ah Cain come on son, he's not just a danger to others he's a danger to himself by the sounds of things…" Zak replied.

"I said no; let's just give it some more time"

"And when that time runs out lad, I'll make the decision whether we call them or not, you got that?"

Cain swallowed hard and nodded. "Yeah" he replied just as Chas turned the corner and walked up the forecourt. "OH! Dressed are we?"

"Oh shut it Cain!" Chas bit back nastily. "This isn't about me and I didn't cause his state of mind, yeah I made it worse but he was already in that state when he left the house! And you damn well know it so don't you dare stand there and blame me!"

"What's going on?" Debbie asked, looking at both of them curiously.

"I'll tell them then shall I?" Cain asked.

Chas shrugged. "I don't care"

"This slag is back with Carl"

"Now that's enough Cain!" Zak raised his voice.

"Oh babe why?" Charity asked. "After what he did to you with Eve last time"

"Yeah" Chas nodded. "I know but I can't help how I feel so can we just leave it there please?"

"Go back to him, we've got this sorted"

"Have we?" Lisa asked. "Have we really Cain? The only people as far as we know looking for him are Nikhil and Jackson! What are we all standing here for! Come on let's move! He's one of us for god sake, poor Jackson, I know he and our Aaron are together but he wasn't his responsibility in the first place! We should be ashamed of ourselves!"

"Yeah Lisa's right, come on, let's move it get out there looking" Charity told them all.

Everyone apart from Cain began to walk away. "W-wait hang on…J-Jackson told me…h…he told me Aaron gets suicidal when he has days like these…"

Zak's eyes widened instantly. "And you're telling us this now lad!" he asked angrily then he shook his head. "Come on assuming he's on foot he can't be far"

"Chas you come with me and Gennie you go with Debs" Charity instructed as they made their way to their cars.

…

The familiar burning in his legs and lungs was starting to get to Jackson as he tried to keep running as fast as he could, but Aaron was fast, way too fast actually for his liking, he was grateful that he still had him in his sights though. "Aaron!"

"NO!" Aaron yelled back. "I'm not coming back!"

"You have too!"

"Why!" he shouted back again. "So you can lock me away again!"

Jackson was breathless. He couldn't keep this up. "No babe that's all over now"

"Damn right it is! I'm done!"

"I'll keep running as long as I have too Aaron!"

"Good luck with catching me!" Aaron told him quickly before veering off and jumping up a small verge of grass at the side of the road and he ventured off into the woods.

"Dammit!" Jackson cursed loudly and veered off too following him into the woods. He stopped up against a tree just for a second; he needed to catch his breath. He could see him in the distance running. He was like a man possessed, just like he had been at Carl's earlier. The rev of an engine however distracted Jackson and he turned and looked back to the roadside then ran back out onto it to almost be knocked over, but even with the mega hang over Adam slammed on his breaks quickly. "Jesus! Jackson!" Adam yelled as he pulled his helmet off. "I could have ran you over"

Jackson nodded. "I-I know, Aaron's in there…somewhere"

"Somewhere?"

"Yeah I had to get my breath back…I couldn't keep up"

"Alright don't worry, you go on in, I'll hang back here and let Cain and all them know, then I'll drive further up before heading in myself…try and come at him from different directions"

Jackson nodded as he ran back in, this time he wasn't going to stop, not until he found him.

Aaron was running scared, he didn't know where he was, but the thought of someone coming after him petrified him to the point it made him run faster, he was unaware though that no one was chasing him now. He was in a panic, a panic that caused him to miss the steep drop ahead and he dropped like a sack of potatoes down the hill, but in Aaron's defence even if he was in a stable mental state he still would have missed it, it was a blind drop hidden by bushes and foliage. He tumbled, crashed into bushes, branches, even trees but they weren't enough to stop him from falling, his speed was too great.

When he eventually stopped Aaron let out a cry, a cry that was loud enough for Jackson to hear and he kept sobbing. From the sound Jackson knew he wasn't too far away and he quickly headed to the direction. "Aaron!" he yelled loudly as he ran.

Aaron's sniffles subsided, he hadn't gotten up he just wanted to lie there. "GO AWAY!" he yelled back.

Jackson frowned and stopped and turned around and walked forward, there were just trees ahead, and several bushes a few metres in front of him, he couldn't understand it, he couldn't see anyone. It all became clear when he walked through the bushes and his right foot dropped. "Woah!" he exclaimed and he forced himself onto his backside. He could see Aaron lying on his back at the bottom of the hill, he slowly pushed himself off and slid down using the trees and whatever he could get his hands on to help with getting him down.

It took a good few minutes to get to the bottom but as soon as he was on the flat he ran to him and dropped down beside Aaron and he shook him out of pure frustration just as it started to pour down. "Ah this is just great!" Jackson yelled angrily and he slammed a fist into the trunk of a tree beside them. He hissed in pain and held his hand in his other.

Aaron frowned and sat up in complete silence.

"What? You not running Aaron? Go on, I won't stop ya! I've had about enough! I thought I could take some crap but you! YOU!" he repeated as he got into his face. "You've pushed it! Go on then what you waiting for? Run!"

"You will never be able to understand, I feel the way I do and that's just that Jackson…I know it affects you but that's how I feel"

"Well you're going to get over it sharpish aren't ya?" he yelled then took a breath. "Everyone is out looking for ya!"

Aaron shrugged. "So, they couldn't give a shit anyway"

"Oh right I'll tell them that shall I?"

He shrugged again. "Do what you want!"

"You know what! The only person who doesn't give a shit is you! And right now I don't care that this is one of your bad days, its tiring, I'm knackered Aaron absolutely knackered! Y-y-you practically made love to me this morning in your own little way…and it was perfect then this happens…w-wh…what? How even? How!"

"If you're so tired Jackson then leave me" Aaron told him nastily as he got to his feet.

Jackson did too, he didn't want him to run, his frustration and anger needed letting out and it was, aimed at the right person aswell. He frowned. "After everything we've been through?"

"Yeah why not? I don't deserve you or anyone else so just go!"

Jackson shook his head. "I'm not going anywhere"

"But you will" Aaron said quietly and he started walking.

"Where are you going?"

"Home!" Aaron replied.

"Just like that, after all this uproar you've caused you're just going home?"

"Well it is my home…I forgot that for a while"

"Oh so you're coming around again are ya?"

"No! I still wanna die if that's what you wanted to hear"

Raging, Jackson ran up to him and knocked him to the floor then turned him over so he could face him. Aaron naturally fought against him. "I love you! I love you I do Aaron…" Jackson started to cry as the rain pelted down on them. "Hearing you say that makes me so angry and I know you can't help the way you feel but the way I see it and just hear me out" he told him as he shook him hard and Aaron got the message that time and stopped fighting back. "You blocked the pain of Paddy's death, and went straight to the drugs…you've come off them now and that pain is coming out, as raw as it would have been the day he died…and I understand it…he was the only person who loved you, but you're wrong" Jackson sobbed. "Your mum does love you and she did then, Cain, Debbie…Zak, Lisa, Charity…god everyone Aaron and they're all looking for you now…they love you and they always have, and no Paddy isn't here anymore but you can get through this grief and the recovery, it's always gunna be a day at a time for a while…I love you so much" he told him again and it made Aaron cry also. "I do and I'm here, they are here! You aren't alone Aaron, and you know Paddy wouldn't want this"

Aaron shook his head as he wiped his eyes.

"No, see that's right…that's good…" Jackson sounded relieved and nodded as his chest raised and fell quickly, he was exhausted! He moved from on top of Aaron and sat next to him.

The rain and Aaron's sobs were all he could hear. Aaron sat up beside Jackson, he couldn't calm himself and his sobs were uncontrollable. "…You are the best thing, that's ever happened to me"

"Aswell as Paddy" Jackson added quietly as he looked ahead and not at Aaron.

Aaron nodded while he sobbed. "Yeah…let them all know you've found me, I-I don't need an audience right now"

Jackson pulled out his phone and made a quick phone call. "Yeah Cain, I've found him, just all go home and I'll call you later….No! Cain just do it please…..alright, thank you…see ya" he turned to Aaron. "He objected at first…but he's going to tell them"

Aaron nodded and hung his head. "Thanks…I erm…I…I didn't mean to hurt you"

"It's fine" Jackson replied bluntly.

"No it's not"

"I said it's fine" he told him again as he got to his feet. "If you're going home then I'm coming with you"

Aaron nodded and stood up.

"I think you need to see someone Aaron"

"Do you have the kind of money for stuff like that I could lend? No I didn't think so…so no it's not happening, I'll do this on my own, I'll get through it"

"You will" Jackson nodded as they walked, hoping they would reach the road at some point.

"I wouldn't blame you if you left, you say you love me and I get it but it's not enough sometimes is it? Today I-I ran and why? I don't know…I don't have an answer and it's caused all this…I might have calmed down but these feelings…they're so strong…I was born to end up wishing I was dead" he began to chuckle as he shook his head. "What kind of messed up shit is that?"

"No you were born to have a life and you will"

…

The sun was setting by the time they got back to Smithy and when Aaron opened the door he was greeted by his mum, he sighed and stepped back but Jackson stopped him and pushed him in the house. "You knew she'd be here?" Aaron asked angrily.

"No! He didn't Aaron, I don't know what the hell you're playing at but I'm only here to give you a message, you are going to stay in this house and you are going to look after Jackson, look at him"

Aaron averted his eyes and looked down to the floor in the hallway.

Chas grabbed him by the chin and forced him to look at Jackson. "I said look at him! He's been running around after you for months and he's tired, and he's hurting right now because of you, it's about time you looked after him don't ya think?"

Aaron nodded and looked up at her. "I'll look after Jackson if he wants me but let me make one thing clear to you, I've never hated you as much as I do right now, you never loved Paddy"

"I did and you know I did"

"Obviously"

"So I can't see anyone else then, is that it?"

"No you can but preferably not him! I really hate you"

"Well then we're square aren't we? Because I've never been as ashamed of you as much as I am right now" she bluntly told her son then looked across to Jackson. "If you need anything Jackson just call me" then she looked at Aaron. "If _you_ need anything Cain's told me to tell you to ring him"

"Fine" Aaron spat bitterly as Jackson nodded.

"You wanna get a grip of yourself son otherwise you'll end up with no one, you're hanging on by a thread, even jackson doesn't look like he can bare to look at you"

Aaron swallowed hard at her final statement and the fact that Jackson didn't deny it scared him, rolled his eyes as his mum walked past and back out of the front door.

Aaron sighed and took his soaking jacket off and put it over the radiator when he walked into the kitchen. "I erm…" he started with a frown. "Go get changed and I'll make you something to eat, a hot drink…I'll clean you up too…it's not much I know but I'll try"

Jackson nodded and left the room without saying a word and he walked upstairs, as he did Cain's words, Chas' and his mum's all came to mind, that he was exhausted and he was, he really was and Cain's words that maybe he should take a few days away…anyone helping a recovering addict had to also make sure they took care of themselves but Jackson hadn't, unfortunately and the blow from Aaron earlier that day had knocked him for six, it was worse than a punch. He was seriously considering what Cain had said but could he just abandon Aaron for a few days? Like Chas had pointed out, family wise he was hanging by a thread, if he was alone there was no telling what he'd walk back into…he had some serious thinking to do.

* * *

**TBC…**


	17. Open Your Heart

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"Open Your Heart"**

* * *

Jackson walked back down the stairs after taking a shower and changing into some comfy night clothes, he walked into the kitchen to see a sandwich and a hot steaming cup of tea waiting for him, aswell as Aaron sat on the opposite side but he didn't look up, Jackson guessed why, he was ashamed and he was glad he was feeling that way, he'd ruined everyone's day and for what, because his mood was dark? Jackson rolled his eyes and sat down at the table. "Cheers"

Aaron nodded and kept his gaze on his clasped hands.

Jackson picked up the sandwich and started eating in complete silence and it lasted until Jackson had finished the sandwich before Aaron spoke. "You're going to leave aren't you?" he asked quietly with sadness filling his tone.

Jackson drew in a breath and for a second kept it in and was completely still, he shook his head after a few seconds and said "No, but the thought did cross my mind Aaron"

Aaron nodded. "I understand"

"No what you need to understand Aaron is that you stole my heart and that's fine cause I love the bones of you but what you can't do is make me a victim"

Aaron frowned and looked across the table at him. "Victim?"

Jackson nodded. "The punch, hitting me with a sharp edged metal pipe…" he told him as he shook his head. "I'm not a victim, never have been and never will, once more Aaron and I'm packing my stuff and going"

"I get it, I understand, I do, I really do…"

"I hope you do Aaron because for me at this point it would kill me to walk away but I will if I have too, I am my own person and I don't depend on you"

Aaron nodded frantically; this was all sinking in hard and fast. "I depend on you though, for now at least"

"I know Aaron and I want you to be free from the cravings as much as you and I know I'm helping and even though they're still there it's not so much about that anymore, I'm dealing with something totally different"

Aaron looked away and hung his head.

"Grieving a loss…" Jackson continued.

Aaron nodded his head. "When he died, I-I shut down I didn't cry…I didn't do anything I just…well I must have done nothing because I don't remember, I remember my mum staying the night he died though, to look after me she said…other than that I don't remember much…"

"Go on" Jackson told him softly and all he could think at the same time was _finally! _He was talking about the thing that ultimately sent him down that dark path of cocaine and other drugs, Paddy's death.

"I went to work the next day, Cain told me to go home, I didn't understand why he'd said that, the garage was busy you know?" he said as he looked across at Jackson again and watched him nod in reply. "But I ignored him and I stayed the full shift, all day, and again the next, and the one after that up until the funeral…the church was packed, he was well respected, liked…loved…"

"From what I've heard about Paddy that doesn't surprise me" Jackson replied with a small smile on his face.

Aaron nodded and swallowed hard. "I got up and talked about him, told everyone how much he meant to me, what he'd done for me and how much I loved him and ultimately who he was to me, my dad and I didn't cry, there was no tears…and from where I was stood I could see the worried looks on my mum and Cain's faces and I didn't understand them…"

"But you do now?"

"Yeah" Aaron gasped as he felt the emotions rising and he bit his lip.

"Don't try to stop it babe" Jackson soothed gently.

"I didn't go into work the next day, whether I was told not too or not I don't know…but anyway I didn't, I went to bar west and got drunk, I ventured elsewhere, a proper dive it was and all…really dodgy…and then this guy comes over…Rob…" he said with a flick of his eyebrows. "He starts talking to me…and somehow he got to me…he knew what I was going through despite not realising it myself…he said, it would make me feel better, take the pain away and he hands me this bag of white powder…I knew what it was, I'd been involved in drugs a few years before but I never took them…my mum and that lot saved me that time, but this time they couldn't and they didn't…what he told me was what I wanted to hear, I wanted the pain to go away, so I took it and that's how it all began…"

Jackson cleared his throat. "And you got involved with all the others he knew?"

"Yeah, we used together at parties I was hardly here…Marlon and my mum dealt with the will stuff…something now I regret because I should have been here, but I wasn't and I can never change that…anyway some of these lads were gay aswell and they were pretty full on and I'd never been with anyone…so whoever my first was I bet they loved me…but they must have enjoyed it cause more lads started and a few weeks later afterwards this lad gives me some money…I knew what it was for straight away and I-I needed that money Jackson, I did…for my growing addiction and believe me it took hold so fast…"

Jackson nodded, he was content in listening, he'd needed to get this out for so long but he couldn't let himself and the fact that he was made Jackson so proud of him.

"So I carried on with the sex for money, this place was like a whore house…sure I had to start keeping a diary…they were just arriving and arriving at the door…but it was worth it…at least…I thought it was at the time…and during all this and over that hell of a year, which now I realise it was, my family slowly started to give up, to let me destroy myself because they'd tried so hard to get me to stop and they did Jackson, I know they did but I didn't want too…I didn't I was selfish and it nearly cost me them, and Adam…he was meant to be on that holiday too but we fell out cause he caught me smoking marijuana round the back of the pub after I'd told him I'd stopped" he scoffed. "He must have believed me, god knows why one look at me and he should have known…so I went to Ibiza alone. It was a stupid dangerous thing to do really and you know what…I found something I wasn't expecting too…I was hit with something I hadn't felt ever"

"What was that?"

Aaron wiped his tears from his eyes and looked at Jackson. "The feelings I got when I looked at you…it was an attraction like nothing I've ever felt…it struck me right to the core and we got together that night and I will forever be sorry for taking your money, I will and I was lying the next morning when I shrugged seeing you again off…it was mean even though we probably wouldn't have but we could have organised something but I didn't let that happen because to me I was worthless, and certainly not worthy of your attention"

"But you are…you always were"

"And you know the rest…you chose to help me and to stick by me…and it's not been easy, today is an example…but if you lied when you said you weren't going anywhere I just want you to know that I will forever be grateful to you for what you've done for me" he sobbed out. "And that you helped me find love…and to be reminded of what it feels like, but in a different way, in a boyfriend way…"

"Hey…hey…" Jackson hushed as he got up off his seat and rushed around the table and knelt down in front of him. "I'm not going anywhere Aaron" he told him as he held onto both of his hands. "I will never leave you, I can't leave you now…I love you too much but what I said still stands I don't have to put up with what you've done to me"

"No I know" Aaron cried. "I'm so sorry…I-I never cried for Paddy until today…why couldn't I just grieve like a normal person Jackson? Why did I do it? Why did I start taking the drugs…it's not like I was pressured, thought it was cool or anything…I-I've messed so many things up, I have so many regrets and for why? Because I became a dirty little druggy" he spat angrily.

"Come on" Jackson's heart was breaking and he reached up and cupped his face in his hand. "You made a mistake baby, a mistake…and mistakes have repercussions and you're feeling that now…you crave the stuff and your grieving for Paddy has just started…everybody makes mistakes but it's what you do about them that counts…and you took a step by giving it up…"

"I don't know what I'd do without you…I'm sorry for today I dunno what happened or what I was doing…I just kept running, I was petrified Jay absolutely petrified and I don't know why" he shrugged. "I'm sorry for everything and I know me loving you doesn't give me a pass back to what normality we had…but I wanna try, I'm going to try. I'm going to ignore these feelings of wanting to die…" he swallowed hard and caught his breath. "I mean h-how selfish am I? Paddy didn't want to die, but it happened and he's gone now and here's me wishing my life away, how dare I?"

"I know but the side effects are depression and apparently depending on how long you used…could be accompanied with suicidal thoughts…"

"Well I don't want to die, you gave me the strength to stop and you're now giving me the strength to be able to see clearly and I am…I am and I want a life…a life with you if you want me?"

Tears fell from Jackson's eyes as he grinned. "Would I still be here now if I didn't want you?"

"No" Aaron answered.

"Well then, I want you, I want you so much and I'm here, I'm here for you, I don't care what anyone says…I'm with you and that means through bad and good so let's see this storm through eh?"

"The sun will rise eh?" Aaron asked with a small smile.

"No babe it's already there it's just hidden by the clouds, they'll clear though and our life will then start properly"

Aaron nodded and sniffled as he wiped his nose. "It's still bleeding jay"

"Hmm?"

"Your head"

"Oh yeah, I split the skin again when I was washing it…it'll be alright and I feel better actually"

"Well I'm still going to look after you"

Jackson nodded. "That's fine but can your turn wait till tomorrow, I really wanna look after you tonight"

"N-No…m-my mum said"

"I know what your mum said but she's not here is she?"

"But I have to give back Jackson; I don't want to be selfish anymore"

"You aren't being, I'm offering and I know you'll look after me tomorrow"

"Too right I am"

"That's settled then, come with me" Jackson told him as he stood up and held out his hand which Aaron took and was pulled up by Jackson and was led upstairs. "This isn't what you think, we have all the time in the world for that…"

Aaron smiled as he walked up the stairs behind Jackson, he was right they did have all the time in the world, sex could wait, he wanted it with Jackson, of course he did and he was sure Jackson wanted it with him too but things had to be dealt with first. Aaron found himself walking into the bathroom and he waited while Jackson turned the shower on.

Jackson turned back to him and placed his hands at the bottom of his soaked t-shirt and pulled it up over his head, he discarded it on the floor and looked at him with a smile and placed his hands on Aaron's sides. "Jesus you're freezing"

Aaron nodded. "I know, it's the least I deserve though right?"

Jackson shook his head and pulled him into a tight hug. "You don't deserve any of this" he whispered, when he pulled away he saw Aaron's eyes filled with tears but he smiled at him and kissed his forehead. "I love you"

"I love you too Jackson, I really do"

"I know, come on take those off and get in…"

Aaron nodded and took his clothes off and threw the rest on top of his t-shirt and stepped into the steaming hot shower. It felt amazing and he could still see Jackson and he smiled gratefully at him and he watched as Jackson suddenly started to strip aswell and seconds later he stood naked and he stepped in too while keeping his eyes on Aaron's. Aaron was the calmest he had been all day and his body was relaxed, helped by the hot water pelting over him, he stepped back to allow Jackson some of what he was experiencing. "You already had a shower" Aaron reminded him with a smirk.

Jackson shrugged. "I told you. I'm looking after you tonight" he told him as they stood chest to chest and Jackson reached out and pulled him in for a hug and he kissed his wet hair as he rested his head against his shoulder and he felt Aaron's arms wrap around his back. Jackson had one arm wrapped around his lower half and the other around his shoulder but his hand came up and rested around the back of Aaron's head, stroking it through his short spiky hair. He was content and he could feel Aaron was, there was no tension in his muscles.

"I'm not gunna get upset but I just expected Paddy to start banging on the door cause he needed the loo or whatever and it was always when I was standing here in the shower…I forgot about that until now…he did it all the time, without fail"

Jackson smiled and tightened his arms around him a little more. "It's good that you're remembering babe, you have to remember and talk about him, that way he will never be forgotten"

"I could never forget him"

Jackson nodded. "I know, and you can get upset whenever it comes over you, like I said I'm here"

"Thank you"

"You're welcome, let's just, for now forget what happened today, it's just me and you, the others can wait, the sorrys everything can just wait alright?"

Aaron nodded against his shoulders. "Just me and you" he repeated softly. Silence passed between them for a minute or so before Aaron looked up at him with a cheeky smirk.

"What?" Jackson asked as he eyed him curiously.

"You know before when I said I didn't know what I was doing…"

"Yeah…" Jackson nodded.

"Carl's car…I definitely knew what I was doing there…" he told him then flashed a grin and at that Jackson couldn't help but burst into laughter, and then Aaron did aswell.

"Aaron Livesy you are naughty!"

"Oi! He had it coming"

"Hmm…yeah alright, suppose he did" Jackson agreed, the smirk was still on his face. "If you think about it he was actually lucky it was just the car, because the rage you were in he could be dead right now if you went for him"

"As much as that thought makes me shudder you're spot on and it scares me, I don't wanna get out of control again Jackson"

"You won't babe, I won't let you" he told him firmly then moved in and kissed him and then pulled away just enough to look into his eyes, both sets searched the other and they kissed again, slowly at first but as the passion built the quicker and deeper the kiss became.

* * *

**TBC…**


	18. I Want It All

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"I Want It All"**

_Just want to say thank you for the reviews of the last couple of chapters, the response was amazing and I'm really grateful, I loved writing those chapters as I do them all but those especially seemed to be step up to something different and I hope I can keep it going :) x_

* * *

The drive on the way back to Emmerdale was silent and Jackson didn't want to bother him yet with questions, he couldn't begin to imagine what it was like for him. They arrived back at the house after twenty minutes or so and they both got out of the car and walked up to the front door. Once inside Aaron was still silent. "Are you okay?" Jackson asked he needed to know, he'd gone long enough without asking.

"Oh yeah I'm just grand me…having someone stick…" his face scrunched at the thought and he shook his head. "They've given me a fucking bag of condoms aswell, well I suppose we'll be alright for when we do, last us a lifetime this lot" he ranted and with a sigh he rubbed his head in frustration before throwing the bag of condoms down on the bench.

Jackson looked sympathetically at his boyfriend as he walked over to him. "I've never been in that situation babe and I can't imagine it…but it's done now, you did it and it's over"

"I-I don't even wanna think about it Jay…"

"You don't have to it's done now"

"But what if it-"

Jackson shook his head as he cut him off. "Hey don't think like that alright, we'll deal with that then"

Aaron nodded against his chest. "It'll be on your mind until we get the results I know that" Aaron rolled his eyes, he knew it would, day and night "And if that's not enough, I'm getting a sodding cold aswell"

"Yep well it was cold the other day, serves you right"

Aaron smirked and looked up at him. "I'm going to go and have a lie down if that's ok?"

"Yeah sure I'll be here"

Aaron smiled and nodded once more before leaving the kitchen and going upstairs.

Half an hour later Adam walked in and Jackson had been sat in silence at the kitchen table, he smiled at him. Adam smiled back but from looking at him he didn't get a sense that things were okay.

"He's just having a lie down"

"Ah right" Adam replied quietly as he pulled out a chair and sat down. "How did it go?"

"He's not happy, I think that bag of condoms has riled him the most"

"Oh how come?"

"Ah I dunno, he's just struggling isn't he? Everything's getting to him"

Adam nodded. "It'll be fine Jackson"

Jackson flashed a smile and nodded. "Yeah, course"

"Are you okay mate?"

Jackson nodded quickly, he wasn't though. "Yeah fine mate just tired too"

"Well get some rest too yeah, I just wanted to pop in see how he was"

"No worries take some if you like" Jackson told him with a smirk. "I don't think Aaron will notice"

Adam chuckled as he got up. "I might just do that"

Jackson watched as Adam took a handful, even after there was still loads, he said goodbye and Adam left.

...

Jackson had been rattling around the house technically alone now for a few hours and it wasn't helping his own state of mind. After he took out their tea from the freezer he sighed loudly and walked to the front door and opened it and walked out into the fresh air and after a few minutes and with his hands stuffed deep into his pockets he began to pace the patio along the front of the house with his head down.

He was physically and mentally exhausted, the cut from the metal pipe stung like hell and the hefty bruise surrounding it was sensitive and sore to any touch or movement, which naturally was unavoidable; his legs ached like mad from all the running and it was draining, he didn't feel like himself anymore. He knew he'd be himself again the question was just when that would be.

After about five minutes of slowly pacing the length of the house he stopped and sat down on the bench to the left of the front door. He sat staring down at the ground accompanied with his own confused thoughts.

Charity left the pub and happened to look up at the house when she walked across the road and she saw him and immediately felt the need to go and talk to him, from that distance she could see he didn't seem right and he aswell as Aaron needed people around him; Jackson was as much a part of the family now as Aaron was, at least that's how she felt about him and as she walked up to Smithy she couldn't help but feel guilty and she was sure the rest of the family did too but they all had been around a lot more since the day Aaron went awol, they were all involved and had helped in their own way but when it came to the end of each day, ultimately it was Jackson who was there.

"Hi" she said softly as she sat down beside him on the bench.

Jackson looked up with a small smile. "Alright?"

"Oh you know, not too bad"

"Good" he said with a nod.

"How are you doing Jackson?"

Jackson shrugged. "Fine yeah"

Charity sighed and wiped her hair from her face and looked at him. "I'm here for you to Jackson, we all are and you aren't right"

"I'm not gunna be running around all happy and excited now am I?"

"Well no, and we understand that but you have people you can talk too"

Jackson sighed and shook his head. "I just…I considered going away after the drama the other day…I changed my mind and I meant every word I said to Aaron but…but…"

"Now you think maybe you should?" Charity asked and Jackson nodded in reply. "I don't want to Charity, I don't want to leave him but all I am right now is a twenty four seven, full time guard…"

"You know that's not true"

"Is it not?" he asked just as Aaron was walking down the stairs inside and with the front door open Aaron could hear their conversation and what he heard made him stop and sit halfway down and listen. "O-Okay…I know he loves me from what he says and I really do love him too but I'm a babysitter Charity, ultimately that's what I am and what do I get back? I mean I knew it wasn't going to be easy, I walked into this with my eyes wide open I did but…I've been screamed at, punched once, hit with a metal pipe, put through the emotional ringer which I can tell you doesn't seem to be ending anytime soon"

Charity nodded, she didn't really know what to say but she did know how to listen.

"I don't see anything apart from these four walls and if I get out it's the four walls of dale head o-or the woods if his mood changes…or a hospital" he told her with a sigh.

"It'll get better Jackson"

"Will it?" he asked quietly as he began to cry, he hadn't expected too, hell he didn't want to cry in front of anyone but he couldn't stop it. "Will it really? It just seems to be one thing after another and right now I don't think I'm helping"

Aaron was staring into space as he listened with eyes full of tears. _What have I done? _He asked himself.

"Oh babe you are, you got him to stop…more than any of us could do…you should be proud of that"

"I am but…"

"But what?"

"I don't know if I can keep on doing this, keep going with the way it's making me feel, I'm not the same person I was when I came here"

"I understand that Jackson but he needs you, he only seems to listen to you"

"But what about me Charity? Hmm?" he turned and looked up at her. "I haven't been selfish, I haven't thought about myself once in what? Nearly six months, until now…m-maybe I need to go"

"Well" Charity said with a sigh. "No one would blame you, you're young, maybe being saddled with Aaron shouldn't be your life, if you want to go Jackson we wouldn't hold it against you, you've helped us so much and we'd continue to help him if you chose to leave"

Jackson sobbed, clearly conflicted. "But I'd miss him, every day and the feelings I have for him would never go away, I-I know they wouldn't…" he wiped his nose on his sleeve and calmed down a little before continuing. "I know he doesn't mean what he says or does, it's the drugs, the urge to need them again…I'm scared that if I did leave it would set him right back…"

Aaron sobbed silently on the staircase as he listened to Jackson opening up to Charity, he had to change, the talk with Jackson the other night and now this, he definitely knew he had too, he needed too he couldn't lose him now.

"We wouldn't let him" Charity told him.

"You couldn't stop it Charity, none of you could…someone has to be here all the time…"

"Well yeah but there'll come a time when he'd be able to be at the garage with Cain or the pub with Chas…"

"Cain yeah, Chas I doubt it…I've tried bringing it up the last few days but I've never seen someone look so angry or filled with hate as much as he does when I mention her name"

Charity understood.

"A-and with me gone, his boyfriend who he'll think has abandoned him he might start feeling the way he did the other day again, wanting to die…yet another person who loves him gone…I want us to have a life together I really do but I'm tired, I don't know if I'm coming or going, I wake up and I'm scared to see what mood he's in…I don't know what to do…"

"Well to me…" she said as she reached out and held his hand. "It sounds like you're talking yourself out of leaving with very good reasons but is the love you two have enough?"

"Yeah it could be…for me it is…"

"And what about Aaron?"

"He tells me he loves me…that he wants us to have a life"

Charity nodded. "It's your choice to take but you have to be certain because this is _your _life we are talking about here Jackson, you don't want to leave and then end regretting it a few years down the line thinking about the what ifs but then again if you stay you don't want to be regretting being here with him you have to be one hundred percent positive"

"I know" Jackson replied as he nodded quickly.

"You know, I wonder…does he even know what he's putting you through?"

Jackson shrugged. "I don't know…well maybe a bit, I proper laid it all out when we got back from the woods and he was genuinely sorry"

"But that sometimes isn't enough and you know that, you have to make him see what he's doing to you Jackson because it isn't fair, I know he's going through a rough time but he needs to grow some balls and man up and take care of you and be a bit more mindful of what his actions and words lead to and I know that's harsh but it's true, the state you are in now isn't fair and you definitely should not have to put up with this"

"I know and I don't want too…if I stay he's going to have to change, I feel horrible for saying this but he has been trying these last few days but it's not good enough, he's going to have to do better if he wants me in his life…"

"And I will"

Jackson and Charity quickly both looked up to see a teary eyed Aaron standing on the patio in front of the door. Jackson quickly got to his feet. "A-Aaron…I…"

"No" Aaron sniffled and shook his head, he even managed a smile. "It's okay…I get it…I understand Jackson…I'm just sorry I've been too wrapped up in me, I couldn't see the state you're in, I mean I knew you weren't happy…"

"He's a mess Aaron" Charity told him calmly.

Aaron nodded and wiped the tears that were still falling. "I know and I'll never forgive myself for that, I doubt I'll ever be able to make it up to you Jackson, but I know we're we stand now cause I've just heard all of that conversation, I'm just really sorry I never knew…"

"I just, I didn't want to put this on you aswell"

"I made you this way Jackson, its only right that you should have, and now it is on me and that's fine" he nodded. "And you're right, it would hurt if you left, it always would I imagine but I know how you feel about me and that would be some comfort at least…" Aaron told them and blew out a deep breath. "So if you want to go Jackson you can" he told him with a slight frown as his gaze fell to the paving stones, it would hurt but he understood why Jackson was still now thinking about it. "I won't stop you, I'm not angry…I'm surprised you haven't done a runner before now" he said as he looked up at him again with a small smile. "It's…it's up to you…" he left it there and walked back inside.

Jackson frowned and made a step forward but stopped and turned back to Charity who simply shook her head. "It's alright love, go on" she told him and Jackson quickly walked back into the house in a bit of a panic which Aaron could see as soon as he walked into the kitchen.

"I-I thought you were asleep"

"I woke up Jackson…and I heard and I'm fine, I'm calm actually but then again this isn't about me, it's about you, I'm learning slowly…" he smirked a little.

"I don't want to go Aaron"

"And I don't want you to either"

"I-If I stay you're going to have to step up cause I'm a mess now myself and I didn't expect or even think this would happen to me but it has and is and I can't help it"

"I will Jackson, I mean it, I can't lose you! I just can't, I'll do better. You thought there was someone worth saving…" Jackson nodded. "But I think that belief faded drastically through no fault of your own, I did that, my fault…I still need saving, I still need you, I always will because I love you so much Jackson, I will show you that I'm worth it, I have to be to someone right?"

Jackson smirked and nodded. "You better"

"Oh trust me, I've had a kick up the arse just now…I will be better, I will show you"

"Alright" Jackson declared. "My mind is made up. I'm staying here…you have to take risks right?"

"…yeah" Aaron replied quietly, he couldn't take his eyes off him. "I'll stop hurting you, you aren't my babysitter Jackson you're my boyfriend and you have to stop thinking like that, but to do that I know we need to do relationship stuff, things couples do because t-that's what we are at the end of the day, you and me are a couple and this isn't just my house now, it's yours too if you want it?"

Jackson nodded as tears ran down his face. "I want it all with you Aaron"

Aaron beamed happily. "Good, I want it with you…I'll start now Jay, I mean it…you won't regret this"

Jackson nodded and wiped his eyes. "Just give me a hug ba-" he didn't have to finish his sentence before Aaron clashed with him and he felt the strong tight hold of his arms around him. It took his breath away, the force of that impact and the hug made it hit home to Jackson just how much Aaron meant what he was saying and he trusted him to follow through on his words.

"I'll never let you go" Aaron sobbed out but, it was muffled but Jackson got every word.

"I know" Jackson replied quietly as he tightened his hold around him. He kissed his head and blew out a deep breath. Holding Aaron in his arms made him realise that this was a risk worth taking.

* * *

**TBC…**


	19. Numb

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"Numb"**

* * *

A few days later despite his cold developing into a horrible flu and not having much money Aaron was intent on putting his words into actions, he and Jackson were going out for the day, nothing spectacular just to the cinema then for something to eat afterward, Jackson told him no because he was worried about him, the flu had really taken hold of his boyfriend but Aaron was insistent and Jackson could see he was making an effort and they were going to do what couples do and like Aaron had pointed out, that's what they were so he agreed.

The film was good, Aaron had forgotten the name but it was some romantic comedy, he found it amusing in places but Jackson had loved it which he was pleased about. They were stood outside now and Aaron was seeing how much money he had left, he sighed when he realised he had little over a tenner. _That's the restaurant meal idea out the window then _he thought to himself.

Jackson frowned; he could see his man was disappointed and embarrassed at the same time. "Come on" Jackson told him and motioned his head across the road to a McDonald's.

Aaron smiled a little and nodded at him as he followed him over the road, once inside they ordered and after a few minutes they got their food and sat down. Aaron let out a heavy sigh "I'm sorry Jackson"

"What for?"

"For this, I thought I'd have enough left for a Nandos or something at least, like a restaurant place"

Jackson frowned and looked around "Well isn't that strange, we're sat in one babes"

Aaron rolled his eyes "You know what I mean Jay"

Jackson reached over and held his boyfriend's hand "Hey, this has been the best day ever thank you Aaron I mean it, I love you so much" he told him with a smile.

"I love you too" Aaron told him with a smile.

"Good" Jackson said with a nod. "Now behave and eat your burger, assuming you can fit that in after eating all the popcorn"

Aarons eyes widened. "Err that was actually you"

"Ahh and here's me thinking I could blame it all on you" Jackson replied with a cheeky grin.

"Not a chance I saw your hand creeping into the box"

"Had to resort to that unfortunately, you were clutching it like it was gold or something!" he laughed

"Well what can I say, I love popcorn" Aaron told him matter of factly "And I'm full of flu remember, comfort food and all that"

"Yeah I can see you don't look well at all gorgeous" he told him but Aaron just shrugged it off. Jackson then smiled, he was happy and he could see Aaron was too. "I told you we shouldn't have come out today"

Aaron sighed "But I wanted us to do this Jay, I'll live and this has been better than lying on the couch all day"

"Despite the fact that's exactly what you needed?"

"Yeah well I can do that later can't I?"

"Damn right you will, oh erm I forgot to say, yesterday I gave notice on my flat" he beamed happily, he was like an excited child.

Aaron grinned "Really?"

"Yep, so if you don't mind, later me and my mum are gunna go over and pack some of my things"

"No, no of course not babe, so she knows then I'm guessing?" Jackson nodded "How did she take it?"

"Ahh you know, like any mother whose son was moving into her boyfriend's home when they think it's too soon" he told him and at the same time he could see Aarons smile falter. "But it's not her life" he told him with a smile "It's mine and I know what I'm doing. It's what I want; my mum can never change my mind when I'm dead set on something"

Aaron smiled and nodded as he picked at his chips and while still looking away he spoke. "I'll make you happy you know?"

"Don't be silly babe, you already do"

Aaron looked up with a bright smile as he irritably scratched his chest through his t-shirt"

"That rash still there?" Jackson asked with a frown.

"Yeah" Aaron sighed. "It's doing my head in a bit now"

"Should go to the doctor babe"

"Nah thanks it'll sort itself out"

Jackson scoffed and shook his head. "You are so stubborn Aaron"

"And you wouldn't have me any other way" he told him then let out a laugh.

"Nah I suppose not"

…

When the boys walked up to the front door after parking up, Aaron groaned loudly at the sound of his mum shouting after him, he knew without even looking she was running up to the house. "Open the door fast please"

"She'll just walk in babe"

"It's not her home she wouldn't dare"

Jackson rolled his eyes and unlocked the door but just as he opened it Chas was standing beside Aaron pleading with him.

"Please love I just want to talk"

"I don't wanna know, just go away yeah"

"Ah come on Aaron" Jackson tried to calm the situation. "It's time this got sorted"

"No, I'm not interested Jackson, she is not ruining the end of a perfectly good day, end of" he told him as he stormed into the house.

Jackson sighed and just looked at Chas as he shrugged his shoulders but Chas knew it wasn't his fault and gave him a smile before she walked away back to the pub. Jackson walked back in and didn't see him in the kitchen but when he walked into the living room he saw him lying down on the sofa as the TV came to life. "Don't you think maybe it's time you two buried the hatchet?"

"Jackson, please don't, you know how I feel about her and Carl"

"Yeah I know babe, I'll put the kettle on"

Aaron smiled and watched him walk off. Jackson returned a few minutes later with two cups of coffee in his hands and a box of flu tablets for Aaron held in between his teeth, once he was at the sofa he let the box drop down onto Aaron's chest. "Get two of those down your neck"

"Cheers babe" he replied as he sat up and opened the box to take some.

Jackson smiled and sat next to him when Aaron moved his legs and when Aaron lay down again Jackson lifted his legs over his and they both exchanged a smile. "I put the heating on aswell, get you nice and warm"

Aaron smiled. "How long, before you and your mum go?"

"Erm, I'll have this coffee and ring her, might aswell bring as much as I can, I've got work the rest of the week and I'll probably have to work late too so it's an ideal time to get as much brought over"

"Yeah definitely, I'll sort out my room at some point too. Oh! Sorry" Aaron grinned. "_Our _room"

Jackson grinned too and nodded as he leaned over to him. "Certainly will be, that spare room is crap" he said as he looked him in the eye.

Aaron chuckled. "No it's not"

"Oh but it is, it's been missing one thing for months"

"Oh aye" Aaron smirked. "And what's that?"

"Do you really need to ask?" Jackson asked in a husky tone just before kissing Aaron softly on his lips.

When they parted Aaron smiled. "Nope I didn't…and you've probably just guaranteed yourself the flu"

Jackson shrugged. "Don't care, if I want to kiss you then I will" he told him then sat back up. "Was today strange for you babe?"

"Erm…just a bit…I'm not used to stuff like that you know, so yeah…"

Jackson nodded. "I understand but it'll get easier"

"I know"

When Jackson left to go to his flat Aaron walked back into the living room to get comfy again, he felt like crap, his sore throat was killing him and his raised temperature was raging, he thought of turning the heating off but he changed his mind and thought it might be better if he sweat it out. When he sat down he pulled out his phone from his pocket, he hadn't turned its back on after the film he turned it back on and waited for it to start up, he rested back into the sofa and rested his head on the arm. After a few minutes a message flashed on the screen and Aaron picked it up and frowned, he had a voicemail from an unknown number.

He was curious but he'd find out who it was eventually, he pressed the voicemail button and held the phone to his ear as he watched the TV. A woman was speaking on the message and as soon as he heard the words GUM clinic he sat up alert, his eyes darted from side to side as he listened. _"…We need you to come back In tomorrow anytime that is convenient for you, just tell the staff on reception who you are and we'll be with you immediately" _the message ended and Aaron stood up and started pacing as he tapped the top of his phone off his chin. All he could think of, was why? They said he'd get a text with the resultsbut he hadn't so far, just that call asking him to go back in, he shuddered, it was bad it had to be… _Oh god, oh god oh god _he thought to himself. He knew he needed to get a grip, Jackson would be back in a few hours and he didn't want to let on to him that something was wrong and he didn't know if anything was really, all he knew was that he needed to go in. _Maybe they just need to re-test….yeah…yeah that's gotta be it… _he thought and he calmed slightly but his mind seemed to be in overdrive. _But they're hardly gunna give bad news over a voicemail are they? _

…

The following morning eventually came and Aaron had no sleep whatsoever and Jackson found him sat in the living room at six in the morning. Tiredly Jackson rubbed his eyes as he walked in. "What you doing up babe?"

"Oh erm…" he smiled nervously. "Just this flu babe, haven't been able to sleep much"

"Don't flu's normally make people tired?" he asked with a frown.

"Erm…well yeah I suppose so but I just couldn't get to sleep, I fell asleep while you were out last night anyway it probably didn't help" he hadn't but he didn't want to tell Jackson the real reason behind his sleepless night, not until he knew himself what was actually going on.

"Ah right" Jackson smiled.

"Go back to bed Jay I'm fine here"

"Nah" Jackson flashed a grin. "I'm up now aren't I?"

Aaron nodded and shook his head as Jackson walked into the kitchen, he really needed to get a grip. But the fact was he was petrified, who wouldn't be? The call didn't help, it didn't give anything away at all and he knew they couldn't but still…

When Jackson walked back into the living room with a drink for them both he sat down and took a sip. Aaron hadn't even realised he was there until he spoke and then it made him jump, and he cursed himself silently, he was going to give it all away without saying anything.

"So wh-" Jackson stopped and frowned at him when he saw him jump, he chose not to say anything. "So what you got planned for today?"

"Going to sort our room like I said then I'll probably go and see Cain and Debbie for a bit"

Jackson nodded. "And your mum?"

"Hell will have to freeze over before I step in that pub"

"Okay then" Jackson said as he chuckled. "That's that idea shot down again"

"And you know why"

"Yeah and you know I have to try and get you two talking again"

"Well try all you want babe but I'm so fucking angry at her it's unreal, nothing could ever make me want to talk to her again, nothing and I mean that"

"And that's final is it?" Jackson asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Final" Aaron replied bluntly.

Several hours later he stood looking across at the hospital remembering his morning, his talk with Jackson first thing then when Jackson left for work he'd bolted up the stairs to get showered and dressed, he needed to get this over with and fast, he was going to be there the earliest he could and now he was, it was just after nine. When he'd left the house and was locking up Adam shouted over to him but Aaron shook his head, his bus was coming along the road and he started to run over to the stop. "Aaron? You alright?"

"Yeah mate just need to be in town, catch ya later yeah!" Aaron shouted back.

Adam frowned, he didn't seem himself but then again that wasn't anything unusual, but he seemed shifty too, that was different, lately anyway. "I can give you a lift?"

"No! Sorry mate j-just leave me yeah, I'll see ya later!" he replied before he ran across the road to the bus which was coming to a stop.

Now he blew out a heavy sigh and walked in…

…

It was almost lunchtime and Adam was back in the village, he walked into the shop and bumped into Jackson. "Alright lad?"

"Yeah mate you?" Jackson replied with a smile as he scanned the fridge for a sandwich for dinner.

"Yeah good mate, busy though you know how it is"

Jackson grinned as he nodded. "Yeah Declan's got me redecorating home farm now"

"Bet that's a tidy profit for you eh?"

"Oh yes, gunna treat Aaron to something special, what yet I don't know"

"You're a proper romantic you aren't ya?"

Jackson laughed. "Can be yeah and he deserves it you know, he's been good lately"

"Oh yeah?" Adam asked with a frown.

"Yeah" Jackson nodded but was confused by Adam's frown. "Hey you haven't seen him have ya? He said he might pop to the garage but I've been there they haven't seen him"

"I saw him this morning mate running to the bus, said he was going into town"

"That's strange; he didn't mention anything about town to me"

"He's probably nipped to the supermarket or something"

"With what exactly? I have all the money; well he has a tiny bit but not enough"

"Well I dunno, ask him" Adam told him

"I tried calling but his phones switched off, got him a new one after he smashed it at Carl's"

"Yeah he give me his number the other day"

"If he's up to anything though I will go mental"

"Don't think like that Jackson, he wouldn't, not now"

"I hope not, anyway I think I'll have this ham and cheese, how boring eh? See you later mate" he told him and made his way to the counter.

"Trouble in paradise?" David asked with a smile.

"Paradise? In that house mate? Hardly, well I say that it's slowly and I mean very slowly turning into one" he told him with a grin.

David chuckled. "Good to hear, two quid please mate"

Jackson handed over the money, said his byes and headed out to his van, and drove back to home farm.

…

It was late afternoon and Jackson finished early after getting what he wanted doing in that day finished, he'd stay later other days but with Aaron heading into town without telling him previously he wanted to get home, and it wasn't like he didn't have a reason to be worried, when he walked in Aaron wasn't home, Jackson sighed and tried to call him but all he got was his voicemail, it was still switched off and it was really beginning to frustrate him. To take his mind off things and knowing Aaron hadn't been in to sort their room out he headed upstairs to do it himself.

Aaron had been walking for hours before he arrived back in the village, he couldn't remember where; he had been in a world of his own and still was pretty much. He stopped outside the pub and he was drawn to it and he slowly started walking round to the back door, inside he was screaming because he didn't want her, and he still remembered what he had said about her, that nothing would make him go into that pub well he'd learned that something could make him and there he was, despite his own feelings of her and what he thought, he did need her. He let himself in and quietly just made his way into the living room, it was empty but he could hear her and the drinkers out in the bar, he walked to the kitchen and took a can from the fridge and in his daze walked to the sofa and sat down. He put the can on the coffee table and put his head in his hands.

It didn't long for anyone to come in and when they did it was Chas and she got the fright of her life, Aaron didn't react though his head was still in his hands and the unopened can of lager hadn't moved from the table. "Jesus Aaron…how long have you been in here?"

Aaron shrugged and dropped his hands from his face and just sighed "I-I dunno" he replied and frowned; he quickly got up and made for the door again. "I shouldn't have come I'm sorry"

"Woah, no love it's okay I'm glad you have…are you okay?"

Aaron stopped and turned to face his mum. "You been crying love?" Chas looked at him carefully and he didn't reply.

"It's nothing…"

"It certainly looks like something and you coming here to me, your mum when you hate me…come on love I'm not stupid"

Aaron sighed and bit his lip as he stood with his hands on his waist. He shook his head lightly. "It's nothing I just…I dunno why I came…"

"You aren't okay love, are you hurt? Have you taken anything?"

"What!" he was horrified by her questions and he backed away from her. "No! No I wouldn't…"

"O-o…okay son sorry but you can't blame me…I saw Adam earlier he said Jackson was looking for you"

Aaron rolled his eyes. "Great"

"Where've you been Aaron?"

"What? Nowhere why are you asking me all these questions, I haven't done anything wrong" he told her quickly, he was becoming really distressed.

"Tell me where you were then if you've got nothing to hide"

Aaron swallowed hard, that was the problem he felt he did, but he had gone there for a reason and Chas was right, for his mum. "T-The hospital…alright?"

"Hospital?" she screeched. "W-what for why?"

Aaron sighed and turned to walk out into the hallway. "It doesn't matter" the next thing he knew she had taken his arm.

"Are you hurt?"

"No I just said didn't I?" he snapped as he pulled his arm away from her.

"Aaron love I'm your mum and despite who I'm with or whatever else you hate me for that won't change and you can tell me anything" she told him and she watched as he frowned and his face scrunched as he began to sob but he was biting his lip to try and stop it but he couldn't. "Hey…" she said in a hushed tone. "What is it?"

Aaron shook his head frantically. "I-I can't mum…I can't do this…I can't tell you…"

"Well then you can tell Jackson instead" she said as she started going into her pocket for her phone but Aaron grabbed her arm hard. "NO!" he told her in a raised voice and at the same time he realised how hard a hold he had on her arm and he let go. He turned and walked further into the living room and he wiped his tears away.

Chas was sick with worry as she watched him.

"I can't tell him mum…I can't…" he said as he cried hard. "I erm…I had to get tested because when I relapsed a while back I got back into my old ways"

"Right…okay" she replied quietly as she nodded.

"B-But the lad…he-…he didn't use anything"

Chas let her eyes close slowly and she shook her head. "Go on…" she said calmly.

"So I…I had to wait for the results and…and last night I had a voicemail from them asking me to go back today and they'd see me immediately…that's where I've been…t-to the clinic" he told her frantically.

"And? Come on love, whatever it is you can tell me"

Aaron slumped down onto the sofa, his eyes were red and puffy from crying and his cheeks were left with trails from the tears.

"And…" Aaron licked his lips and put his head in his hands. "I've just messed whatever life me and Jackson could have had, up completely. Gone, just like that" he broke into tears. "One stupid mistake!" he raged as he cried. "One!"

"Okay love you're scaring me now"

"You're scared?" he asked as he looked directly at her. "Well that's me screwed then cause I'm absolutely fucking terrified!" he yelled then dropped his head back in his hands and cried, his entire body shook with intense emotion.

* * *

**TBC…**


	20. Change

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"Change"**

* * *

_I'm going to try so hard to get details and facts right but there's only so much research I'll be able to understand properly enough to translate to the chapters so if details are wrong then I apologise but I will try 100% to be accurate_.

* * *

Chas was sat in shock with tears running down her face as she held Aaron in her arms when the door opened and Alicia walked in. "Sorry…I just need so-…" she shook her head. "I-it doesn't matter" she smiled. "I'll manage….I-is everything okay?"

Chas shook her head and wiped her tears away. "Not now Alicia" she told her firmly and Alicia quickly made her exit back to the bar.

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you" she told Moira. "We'll have to manage with the change we've got at the minute"

"How come?" Moira asked.

"Yeah what's going on?" Debbie asked.

Alicia sighed and pulled a wary face. "It's not my place to say, w-well I don't know anything, just what I walked in on"

"And that was?" Debbie pressed on.

Alicia sighed and walked over to Debbie and leaned over the bar. "It's Aaron, she's sat in there holding him in her arms, something's happened, he's obviously been crying and she was…"

Debbie frowned. "They had a bust up they've probably just made up"

"No…No that was something else"

Debbie started to walk round the bar. "I'll go and see if they're alright"

"No, no don't she'll know I've told you then and I really need this job Debbie"

Debbie sighed and stopped. "Alright fair enough"

...

Jackson had always been creative, hence his choice of work, the bedroom didn't need rebuilding obviously but he had the eye for interior design, not that he'd admit that. He'd rearranged the room to give them more space as they'd now be sharing, and he'd painted one wall where the bed was up against, he'd used paint from the home farm job, it looked good and he was pleased with himself, aswell as that he'd dusted, cracked open a window, hovered and changed the bed sheets, at one point he had put rose petals on the bed but thought better of it, he didn't want Aaron to feel pressured in anyway so he picked them all up and hid them away until they were ready to be put on the bed again. He stood in the doorway and gave the room an approving nod before walking downstairs. He checked his watch and it was getting late, it was still light out but Aaron had been gone all day and he was getting worried. He sighed and took out his phone and called Chas.

Both Chas and Aaron jumped when her phone rang. "It's alright love" she told him as she kept her arm around him tightly and rubbed his back. "It's Jackson I'll have to answer it"

"I don't want him to know"

Chas didn't like that decision but it wasn't hers to make and she respected that. She blew out a deep breath and put on a smile as she answered the call, she hoped it would help her sound cheery. "Hi love" thankfully It did.

"Hi Chas have you seen Aaron? It's just Adam told me he went out this morning and he wasn't home when I got in and he still isn't, I'm getting a bit worried to be honest"

"Oh erm yeah..." she swallowed hard. "He's here love, just in the loo" she chuckled and rolled her eyes at how fake she knew she sounded but hopefully Jackson didn't pick up on it. "He just wanted to get out the house apparently, can understand it I suppose you know, stuck in a lot recently, and then this flu…must be going mental"

"Yeah, yeah I know…anyway I'm just glad he's alright, tell him I'm home and I'm waiting" he said with a smile.

"Okay love no bother, bye...bye…" she hung up and sighed and reached over to the coffee table and put her phone down.

"I'm sorry you had to lie for me" Aaron said quietly.

"That's the least of my worries right now love" she told him as she squeezed him hard once more. "But I can't do it forever, he's your boyfriend and he needs to know"

"Like it's that easy, mum how could he ever want to touch me again, how can you for that matter?"

Chas frowned as she glared at her son. "Don't you dare! Don't you dare start with that, it's ridiculous"

"But it's true! I'm nothing but a dirty worthless piece of scum, and…" he began to chuckle. "You know what, I deserve this"

"Well if you go round sleeping with dirty young lads it's going to catch up with you at some point, you'll have to pay for it…unfortunately for you love this isn't something that is going to go away…some get off lucky, you however-"

"I know!" Aaron shouted back as he cried. "I know!"

"I'm sorry love, I-I didn't mean that…"

"It's fine, it's all true anyway" he sobbed.

"I need to know exactly what the doctor said to you…"

"He said I could have a post-test counselling session but I don't want it, that this flu and rash I've got is an initial sign and when it passes it would probably never come around again for a long time…and that I'm fine…"

Chas shook her head. "No love, no…_w-what did he say?_"

Aaron hung his head as tears dropped from his eyes into his lap. "He said that he will refer me to a specialised f-for..."

"You have to say it love"

"I don't want too" he sobbed.

"You have too darling…come on…it's not the end of the world…"

"But it is mum, it is!"

"That's just the shock talking; it's understandable you're thinking this way"

Aaron sighed. "I can't say it, I can't"

"Come on now deep breaths, you're going to be fine love, I'm not going anywhere but you need to accept it"

"What, now?"

"No…but…you know but the quicker you do the better it'll be…alright so this specialist, what then?"

"Then I'll see him or her frequently and when the times comes the treatment will have to start"

"Time comes?"

Aaron sighed. "After he told me mum I, I couldn't hear anything else other than that rattling around in my head…s-something about my blood cell count, when it gets too low or something, but he didn't go into that, this specialist will, and they'll take more blood, it'll be on going…"

Chas nodded. "HIV Positive"

Aaron winced and shook his head. "Don't, shut up mum"

"You have to hear it Aaron"

"And I have!"

"Right well…you aren't going to want to hear this alright but here it is, you have to go home right now and you have to tell Jackson the truth, it's not fair to him, what you going to do when the time comes to have sex? Just jump out of bed and run? You can't do that, he needs to know and your life doesn't end here"

"And how do you know that eh?"

"Because, I just do alright, I'm going to go into town tomorrow and grab as many leaflets, and books as I can about it, you're going to need them and so am I"

"You want to help me?" Aaron asked with a frown.

"By god love you've got some warped mind in there…I don't care what disease you have, you are my son and I will be here for you every step of the way, you got that?"

Aaron simply stared at her and nodded his head.

"Good, now please go home and tell your boyfriend, he loves you son, he won't go anywhere"

"But what if he does mum?"

"Then, he doesn't love you as much as we all think, but he does" she smiled. "Don't be shocked if he's as stunned as you are this is a lot to take in alright, I-I'm struggling myself"

Aaron nodded as he got up. "Right well uh…I'm sorry mum alright…I am…for everything, I just seem to mess it all up…"

"You're alright son go on" she told him with a smile and when he'd left she broke into tears once again.

…

Aaron opened the front door to Smithy and walked in and closed it behind him and he stood for a second against it but before he knew it Jackson walked to him with a smile but that quickly faded when he saw the tears. "Hey babe what's up?"

"Jackson" Aaron swallowed hard as the tears started to flow again. "I have to tell you something, I-it's not drugs though alright, I haven't taken anything I promise"

Jackson frowned. "Alright well come in and I'll listen, I've been so worried about you"

Aaron sat down at the kitchen table as Jackson sat beside him. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that…what I'm about to tell you is the hardest thing I've ever had to say so far in my life and I'm scared…"

"Why Aaron?" Jackson asked as he rubbed his arm gently.

"Last night when I turned my phone back on I had a voicemail from the clinic…saying I needed to go back today as soon as I could"

"A-Alright…w-why didn't you tell me I could have come with you"

"Because I was all worked up, scared…I was up all night wondering why, what was wrong with me"

"Ah, that's why you were awake at six am…"

"Wait…please…if you're going to hate me just let me get this out first"

"You're worrying me now Aaron, I could never hate you…what did the test say then? I'm assuming that's what they called you in for?"

Aaron nodded.

"Well come on…it's alright you don't have to be afraid"

"But I am, Jackson I don't want to lose you…"

Jackson took in a deep breath. "It's alright…j-just tell me…"

Aaron's lower lip was trembling and he closed his eyes. "I'm…" he gagged. "Oh god…I'm…"

"It's alright babe…"

"The results they came back I'm HIV positive Jackson…and I am so so sorry" he told him honestly and as soon as he could, it was the right thing to do, whatever happened now had to happen. He cried, some more for the millionth time that day.

Jackson felt numb but his gaze remained on Aaron, watching as the tears fell from his eyes. Tears fell from his own.

"Please say something Jackson"

Jackson cleared his throat and he reached out and turned Aaron's face so they were looking into each other's eyes. "I-I didn't expect that babe" he stopped for a second. "I didn't and I'm in shock…I think" Aaron nodded. "And it will take time to digest you know?" Aaron nodded again as he watched him, he could see him trying to work it all out. "But, I still love you…"

Aaron gasped at his words and looked stunned to hear them. "I…I wasn't expec-"

"Shh just listen babe…I still love you and that will never change…our life together well…yeah changes will have to be made, obviously but if you thought for one second that I would abandon you now" Aaron shamefully nodded. "Well…" he said as he stroked his cheek. "You don't know me very well, me and you are together Aaron, we take what comes, and this has unfortunately but we can still live a normal life…I-I'm sure we can"

"I hope so" Aaron replied quietly.

"I'm not going anywhere do you hear me…I'm not, we've come this far, we can live with this, I'm staying with you because I love you and because I want too, you're my life now so don't even think about saying I wouldn't blame you if you got out now because that's ridiculous, we'll live with this together, and no it won't be easy but we can still make a life and be happy"

Aaron nodded at Jackson.

"When do you have to go back? I'm assuming you do"

Aaron frowned and rummaged into his pocket for a reminder card. "It's not at the same place but they've put the address on there" he said as he handed it over. "Specialist clinic…not too far out of Hotten"

"Okay" Jackson nodded as he read it. "Two days' time, we'll be there" he smiled.

"My mum knows too, I asked her not to say anything on the phone, I just needed time I hope you aren't mad?"

Jackson shook his head and squeezed Aaron's hand. "No babe"

"She'll probably come too, if that's okay?"

"Of course it is gorgeous…y-you just need to know that if I'm quiet or seem a bit, I dunno but whatever I seem from now on its just-"

"I know, it's just sinking in, I'll be the same"

"Yeah, that's all it'll be, I'm not mad Aaron"

"No…but I am" Aaron replied sadly as he slowly nodded his head.

* * *

**TBC…**


	21. Reassurance

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"Reassurance"**

* * *

The following morning the atmosphere and mood in the house was sombre and that was just from Jackson, he'd been awake a few hours and his fella was still asleep in their bed. The previous night was a late one, they were up till well after one am, neither really spoke except Aaron uttering the words _I'm sorry_ countless times and then Jackson reassuring him that it was okay and that he loved him and he spoke those words from the heart, not for a second did he even consider leaving him, it just wasn't happening.

Jackson had already called Declan to tell him he wouldn't be in work due to unforeseen circumstances and Aaron's revelation certainly came under that category; obviously he didn't tell Declan why but from the way he was speaking he knew Declan knew it was genuine and understood but he knew the man would only be understanding for so long.

It was a grey, dark wet miserable morning, but it didn't seem to stop him standing just out of the doorway in the drizzling rain clutching his cup of tea, he was tired, Aaron would be too when he woke up, even when they got in bed together both were restless but Aaron let himself be held by Jackson. He too had to shun Aaron's idea about touch; he'd certainly bought into the stigma hadn't he? Jackson took a sip of his tea as he remembered it all. The journey they were starting, potentially could be soul destroying and Jackson was well aware of that but he wasn't going to let that happen to himself and especially not Aaron, he had to remain strong just like Jackson had to be. It wasn't going to be easy, he knew that and at times they would probably argue like a married couple but they were strong enough to endure it but if Aaron couldn't be, Jackson would be enough for the both of them.

Of course though he wasn't feeling very strong at the moment, thousands of thoughts, questions and scenarios had plagued his mind since Aaron told him and still were. He closed his eyes tight and rubbed his face as he let out a sigh, then he turned and slowly headed back into the house to hear Aaron crying upstairs. Jackson sighed and shook his head and walked up the stairs.

Aaron was in their room and he heard Jackson coming up and he quickly stopped himself and got to his feet and turned and looked out of the window and looked over the village. He could hear Jackson stop in the doorway. "I erm, I'm sorry you didn't get any sleep Jackson"

"Hey, don't you worry about me"

"But I do"

"I know…I know" he told him softly as he approached him. Seconds later he was stood behind Aaron and he wrapped his arms his waist and held him close.

"The doctor said it isn't a death sentence" Aaron explained as tears ran down his face.

"Course it isn't babe"

"Then why am I so scared Jackson?" Aaron asked quietly and Jackson knew him well enough now to know when he was crying and this was one occasion.

"Because it's going to change your life babe, our life, it's not a small adjustment, it'll be massive, eating healthier, exercise…you know…then when the medication starts it'll be constant, I'm assuming every day, but we'll learn more and get the info we need when that time comes, right now we've just found out we have to let it sink in, I'm getting there, somewhat" Jackson told him with a slight smile before softly kissing Aaron's head gently. "And you will too…I know you're crying babe and it's okay to cry…you're fragile at the minute"

Aaron scoffed. "When am I not, Jackson? It's all I've ever been"

"You're going to stop believing me soon but please try not too okay but it will get better"

Aaron nodded. "I've got you, it has too"

Jackson smiled and turned Aaron around and kissed him passionately "You certainly have, now what do you say to karaoke night at the pub hmm?"

"Ah Jackson I-I…" he sighed and stuttered "I'm not sure"

"We have to carry on as normal, only you are in control of the virus, it isn't and never will be, you can't let it ruin your life, we have to carry on"

"As normal" Aaron finished for him with a nod. "Alright…but I don't wanna go mad cause we have to go to the specialist tomorrow"

"I know I haven't forgotten" Jackson told him with a smile. "What do you wanna do today?"

"Erm…I-I wanna go see my mum, will you come too?"

Jackson grinned. "Course I will, go and get freshened up"

Aaron nodded with a smile. "I love you"

"I know you do, I love you back" he replied with a chuckle.

…

Jackson was already dressed and washed for the day ahead, he had been for hours, he was milling around the house picking bits of Aaron's washing up that was lying around on the landing and the bedroom he was a typical bloke, but he loved him, that fact didn't go a miss with anyone who saw them.

Aaron was standing in front of the sink looking in the mirror as he rubbed shaving foam over his heavily grown stubble. He needed to feel better; he hoped it would help a little at least. When he was ready he started to shave and he could here Jackson singing as he tidied around downstairs, Aaron smirked, he'd never heard him sing before and he was quite impressed actually, he could carry a tune, and the fact that it didn't hurt his ears said a lot. He nodded approvingly; Jackson could sing more often if he wanted too. Aaron however would never sing in front of Jackson even though he knew he wasn't too bad at it, but Jackson was way better. He smiled it was a pleasant welcomed distraction until he saw himself in the mirror, that was the crash back to reality and he remembered instantly. He sighed and whilst holding the razor against his cheek he fell into a daze, thinking about it, thinking about the day before when he'd been told, he'd never forget that day he knew he wouldn't.

Suddenly Jackson walked into the bathroom asking if he'd hurry up and Aaron jumped and the blade cut him, he winced and dropped the razor down into the sink. "Shit!" he cursed loudly.

"I'm sorry Aaron here let me have a look" he suggested as he stepped closer to him.

Aaron's eyes widened when he turned to see Jackson walking to him. "N-No! Don't…" he told him in a panic. "Don't even think about touching me, I need to stop the bleeding"

"Okay" Jackson nodded; Aaron was as panicked as he was before he told Jackson the news the night before. He pulled off some toilet paper from the roll and handed it to him.

"Thanks" Aaron smiled.

"I…I didn't think I'm sorry"

"No don't be Jackson" he told him as he pressed the tissue onto his cheek. "W-we are just going to have to be careful when things like this happen"

"I know" Jackson replied with a nod and he swallowed hard, this was what he meant by changes, well a tiny bit, not being able to touch the man he loved if he'd hurt himself that led to bleeding. He sighed.

"You alright?"

Jackson nodded with a slight frown. "Yeah just…never mind, I'll be downstairs, I'm looking forward to a pint"

"Yeah…me too…" Aaron told him but his words trailed off as Jackson left the bathroom. He didn't need to ask why his boyfriend went weird then, he knew why, it was a big shock to him aswell, he had to quickly remember and for a few seconds he was about to let him touch him. It sounded stupid because it wasn't like Jackson would have put his hand or fingers on the blood but he couldn't take that risk, it was best nobody touched him in situations like that, or worse god forbid.

An hour or so later they arrived at the pub to see Chas and when they walked in the back room she beamed happily. "So…" she said nervously.

"it's alright Chas" Jackson replied. "I know"

"Wow…" she was surprised but mostly proud of her son.

Aaron rolled his eyes. "He had to know, just like you told me and I knew you were right…and…and he's still here" he told her happily with a smile as he slumped down onto the sofa.

Chas made eye contact with Jackson and nodded ever so slightly at him with a look in her eyes he understood immediately and he smiled at her before sitting next to Aaron.

"So you lads look knackered, can't say I'm surprised" she called to them as she walked into the kitchen to fetch them a can of lager each.

"Oh yeah, was a long night" Jackson told her.

"You're telling me…I ended up down here watching those late night game shows on ITV" she chuckled as she walked back in and handed them their cans and noticing Aaron's quietness she ruffled what little hair he had and he looked up at her and she smiled at him, a reassuring smile, it killed her though because she didn't think anything she did or said would reassure him whatsoever and she was sure Jackson felt the same.

"I kept going outside" Jackson admitted and he got a reaction from Aaron, he had turned to look at him, obviously curious. "You think this place is quiet during the day, you could hear a pin drop at night…quite eerie actually but the silence was great"

Chas nodded, she understood.

"I tried counting sheep, was a waste of time" Aaron joined in, his tone depressed and sad.

"It's just the shock love; we'll all sleep better in time"

"Yeah" Jackson smiled. "Course we will"

Aaron sighed quietly and looked across at his mum who was sat opposite them. "You still coming tomorrow mum?"

"Course I am, I told you I'm here every step of the way"

Aaron nodded "But won't Carl notice…"

"If he does, it's tough, I'll have to lie, he won't find out, nobody is going to find out from me"

Jackson squeezed Aaron's hand as Chas spoke, silent reassurance. "Thanks mum"

"No thanks needed…So are you two coming tonight?"

"Yeah course I asked this one this morning"

"I wasn't sure at first though, but if I hide away then people will suspect something…and you know what this place is like"

Chas chuckled. "Oh yes"

"B-But…" he continued with a deep frown. "Will they not just know, straight away?"

"Where'd you get that from?" Jackson asked.

"I-I dunno I just assumed, I'll probably be acting weird, different around people"

"Well yeah until you let yourself adjust" Chas told him.

"Alright, I'm just being stupid, course they won't be able to tell"

"No they won't you dafty" Jackson chuckled and put his arm around his shoulders and pulled him in closer.

"You know" Chas took a breath. "I've never said this but looking at you two now you make a lovely couple" naturally Aaron pulled his nose up at that, it was too mushy for him but Jackson beamed happily and thanked her, then laughed at Aaron.

"Yeah well I wish your mum would say the same…" Aaron said with a sigh while he rubbed his forehead, he was tired and had quite the headache going on, his flu was still clung to him but it was easing a little. Then it dawned on him. "Oh god…"

"No Aaron" Jackson interrupted; he knew what he was going to say. "Don't even think about that, she won't have to know and if she did ever find out hopefully she'll have gotten to know you by then"

"Yeah suppose"

"You just have to let her in first" Jackson added with a smirk and Aaron just blankly looked at his mum, it was the last thing he wanted to do, Chas simply chuckled and shook her head at him. "Sort that out between yourselves I'm staying clear of it"

Jackson smiled and reassured Aaron his mum would be fine but he just had to take that first step, something he was sure Aaron had to build up the courage to do, but not yet, there was too much happening at the moment and he understood that.

"Did you know Jackson could sing mum? He's amazing and I'm not being biased either…" Aaron began.

Jackson scoffed. "Uh but you are"

Aaron turned to Jackson quickly "No I'm not" then back to his mum with a smirk.

…

After spending the rest of the day at home relaxing and catching a well-earned nap in each other's arms on the sofa in front of the TV with the fire going, well it was safe to say it was a good day considering and Aaron hadn't failed to notice how tightly Jackson had his arms wrapped around him, it made him cry a little actually but Jackson never knew, or if he had, he hadn't let on. When they woke up it was time to get ready and Aaron hadn't backtracked on his decision to go to the pub which surprised Jackson, he thought he would have. After quickly showering and getting dressed they were ready and stood outside as Aaron locked the front door. "Here we go" he said quietly.

"It'll be fine babe, I promise" Jackson told him. "You look the same, nothing has changed, and they won't be able to tell okay?"

Aaron smiled as they left the house and headed down the village. "I couldn't miss tonight anyway…"

Jackson frowned. "Why?"

"You'll see"

"Oh god Aaron, what have you done?"

Aaron smirked and shook his head. "Not saying a word"

"Ahh no!" he slapped his forehead. "You've put me up for the karaoke haven't you?"

Aaron burst into laughter. "Yeah, yeah I have"

"Not a chance Aaron!"

"But you have to cause my mum wants to hear you"

"Yeah if it was just her and you then fair enough but it isn't…"

"Well…just look at me then, the entire time"

"Oh alright…but I chose the song"

"Of course" Aaron replied with an exaggerated nod.

"Good, alright then I'll do it if it'll make you happy"

"It would indeed, for a few hours at least" Aaron cursed silently. "I'm sorry, I'll stop doing that, I promise"

Jackson stopped at the doorway of the pub and looked at him thoughtfully. "It'll be okay"

Aaron nodded before they both walked in to the heaving pub filled with familiar faces they both all knew and unfortunately some Aaron wouldn't want to be in the same room with but that of course was unavoidable – Carl King for one. When they stood at the bar Chas quickly walked over with two pints in her hand and she placed them down, they had been waiting for them. They thanked her and Jackson held out a ten pound note to her but she told him no, they were on her. Jackson told her it was fine but she was adamant. "Oh aye what's this then? Gunna give me a free drink aswell?"

"Carl just had to get his pennies worth in didn't he?" Aaron asked Jackson as he glared at Carl.

"Just, ignore him, come on Adam's over there, we'll sit with him"

"Alright lads, looking forward to this, I hear someone's getting up on the karaoke"

Jackson rolled his eyes as he sat down. "How many people has your mum told Aaron?"

"Oh err just Adam….aaannnd him, him her, him-" he smirked as he looked around the pub but stopped quickly when Jackson cut him off.

"Everyone then?" he asked with a raised eyebrow as Chas' voice screeched over the microphone telling everyone the karaoke was ready and whoever wanted to could fill their boots.

"Yeah pretty much" Aaron told him as he shared a knowing cheeky look with Adam.

Jackson groaned. "Well I'm only doing it for you so be grateful"

"Aww I'm sure he will be!" Adam chuckled.

"You know I will be" Aaron told him definitely.

After a few minutes Jackson had nipped off to the loo leaving Aaron and Adam alone. "Sorry I haven't popped in for a while mate it's been crazy at the farm"

"Ah no worries mate, I've had stuff going on too"

"Like?"

"Oh erm…l-listen now isn't the time to say…but you're my best mate and I do want you to know that's all I'm gunna say right now"

"Oh okay" he was definitely intrigued but accepted what Aaron had said. "Whenever you're comfortable mate you know I'm here"

Aaron was grateful to have such a good mate and when he looked around the pub he and his mum looked at each other and she simply gave him a wink with her usual smile, from behind the bar, he couldn't believe he hated her a few days ago, and promising never to speak to her again, he couldn't believe how stupid he'd been, but his diagnosis of being HIV positive had made him forget all that, it wasn't important and Carl King certainly wasn't either, what was though was his mum, he needed her and he was thankful that she hadn't told him to go away just like he had with her many times.

"Alright everyone!" Jackson's voice came out of the speakers all over the pub and both Aaron and Adam looked over at him.

"Must have snuck over" Aaron smirked and Adam agreed. "God I'm looking forward to this" Aaron frowned at his best mate. "I have no idea what song he's going to pick so be warned"

"he's a romantic apparently so I'm betting it's a love song"

Aaron scrunched up his nose. "If he dare-" he was stopped by Jackson speaking again.

"So I was roped into singing tonight cause I stupidly let my loving boyfriend Aaron over there hear didn't I?" he got quite a lot of laughs from that. "And he says I'm amazing but he's just been biased, and I already had this discussion with him and what I say stands alright?"

"Ah shush you and sing!" Aaron shouted over.

"Yeah, right well this isn't a well-known song probably but it's a westlife song, no wait don't judge" he said with a smirk. "There's a reason I've picked this and it'll become clear…" he then looked directly over at the love of his life. "Aaron, this is for you"

"Oh god" Aaron muttered and Adam laughed and squeezed his shoulder as the music began to play, a few piano notes and the pub was silent and watching curiously, waiting for this amazing voice… they didn't have wait long, Jackson started to sing, Aaron waited and watched for people's responses, he noted quite a few mouths falling open and hushed conversation could be heard.

_Once in a lifetime,_

_You look in someone's eyes,_

_And it feels like the world stops…Turning at once,_

Even Aaron's jaw dropped it was even more amazing than earlier, and it was to and for him! He couldn't believe it. Jackson's voice was powerful and steady; he had everyone's attention that was for sure.

_Well, that's what it felt like for me,_

_I knew right away this day would be,_

_Standing together, believing forever…Is there in our reach,_

_As love is my witness I swear,_

_I'll be with you 'til the end,_

_Nothing can tear this love apart…I'll put my hand upon my heart_

This is the promise I make to you…Whatever comes we'll see it through,

Jackson nodded as he sang those words but Aaron began to sob and he couldn't stop it as he kept his tear filled eyes on his boyfriend, and Jackson's were on him, it felt like it was just the two of them in their own world.

_Nothing can break it, feeling's too strong…As love is my witness_

_We've both known sorrow, we have known heartache, _he couldn't help but smirk when he sang those words

_When our dreams for tomorrow, Seemed so far away,_

_But that brought us closer! Yeah it brought us together, So that we'd know the real thing,_

_That's why I can say!_

Aaron sat listening in a daze, unaware that his mum and even Hazel who was at the other end of the bar were standing crying their eyes out. It was nearing the end of the song and Jackson hadn't given it his all yet but Aaron knew he would now and he did and he wiped his tears away as Jackson belted out the lyrics with his very powerful and if he said so himself, very sexy voice.

_I know whatever comes to be,_

_Together we'll face the mystery,_

_Here in my heart, deep in my soul,_

_Somehow I know, I know!_

_Nothing can break it, this feeling's too strong,_

_As love is my witness…_

The song slowly ended but before it could and Jackson had stopped singing, the pub exploded with cheers and rounds of applause. Jackson grinned and he nodded. "Uh yeah…wow…cheers…oh and uh…I love you Aaron Livesy, I meant every word…stop those tears eh?" he grinned happily and laughter filled the pub aswell as Aaron but he'd looked away in embarrassment.

Adam was happy to see Aaron and Jackson happy but if they thought he was stupid, they were wrong, it was a very romantic gesture but for Aaron to sob like that right next to him? When it would have been something he would never have allowed himself to do was a bit strange, but then again after everything they'd been through together…he sighed, trying to figure it out, he couldn't but something was going on, and he'd simply have to ask them.

But he couldn't, they were standing next to their table with arms wrapped around each other while they shared a kiss, Adam didn't miss out on the fact that Aaron was still crying. When they sat back down Adam smiled at them. "Everything okay?"

"Um" Aaron grinned. "Yeah"

"You sure? Don't have anything to tell your best mate?"

Aaron put on a frown but panicked inside. "No why?" he asked quickly.

"Ahh come on mate" Jackson jumped in to save him. "We've had a rough six months that's all"

"And that's it?" he wanted to be sure.

Aaron nodded. "Yeah, course mate" he told him with a smile.

"Right okay" Adam relaxed a little. "I just worry about you that's all"

"I know and I appreciate that" he told him as tears filled his eyes again but thankfully Adam wasn't looking right at him and Aaron then looked across the table to Jackson and stopped them, if one tear fell Adam would second guess everything they had both just told him, he felt horrible for lying though but it had to be that way for now.

* * *

**TBC…**


	22. Consultation

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"Consultation"**

* * *

Aaron sighed as he looked out of the window pensively at the clinic up ahead. "I don't wanna go in" he admitted.

Jackson was sat in the back of the car with him and held his hand and squeezed it lightly. "You've got too Aaron, we're here remember that"

Aaron nodded and unclipped his seatbelt. "You two are gunna have to come in the room cause I don't think I'll get what he or she's saying" he told them before he opened the car door and stepped out.

"I bloody hate this" Chas muttered before she got out the car the same time as Jackson, she locked it and walked over to Aaron who was standing a few metres away. "Just remember these people are HIV specialists they know what they're doing"

"I'm err-" he stopped and swallowed hard before continuing. "I'm gunna be coming here a lot aren't I?"

Chas and Jackson both looked at each other then back at him. "Yeah babe you will be" Jackson replied.

"Well in that case they better be nice"

Chas smirked and watched as Aaron started walking then Jackson stepped up beside her. "How do you think he is?" he asked. "Brave, that's what he is" Chas said with a small smile. "Come on" she told him and they both started walking to the main entrance.

"It still hasn't sunk in yet Chas, we've known this day was coming for a few days…we know the disease that he has…but…walking up to this building now I'm just thinking why? But I know why…I-I can't seem to get it"

"I know love; it's going to take time, thank you for sticking with him"

Jackson smiled. "Well if I'd have walked away I'd have walked away from my life Chas and that's the honest truth"

When they walked into the building, they were both impressed, the décor was comfortable, warm colours painted on the walls, pictures and canvases hanging on them, it was still evidently a clinic but they had done so much to make the patient and family at ease. Chas smirked and rolled her eyes when she saw Aaron already checking himself in. When he was done he turned and started walking away from the reception and caught sight of his mum and boyfriend and sighed. "Are you coming or what?" he snapped.

They both knew it wasn't meant nastily, the entire situation was distressing and nerve wracking. "Course we are love" she replied as she smiled at the man sat reception and he respectively nodded, Chas bet he'd experienced that a lot.

Jackson walked around the corner to the seated area, there was one young lad sat across from them with his head down, he seemed and looked nervous, Jackson felt for him, he might not have anyone for support and then again he might, but Jackson wasn't to know and it put things into perspective. Aaron was there with two other people who loved and cared about him so much. The lad looked up and Jackson smiled warmly at him before he sat next his nervous boyfriend who was sat with his arms across his legs and his head down. Jackson let out a breath and placed his arm over Aaron's arched back and rubbed it in slow circular movements to try and calm him while Chas was stood at the leaflet stand picking out two of every one, one for her and one for them both. Jackson smiled as he watched her, she had really stepped up the last few days, he didn't know if it helped Aaron but at least he would have realised she meant her words and would be there and she had most certainly stuck by them today, and she hid her panic and own stress very well, and so had he when he thought about it, but that was the way it was meant to be, Aaron the one crumbling and them there for him to try and keep him up, it was working so far.

After a ten minute wait a tall dark, well-kept handsome man in light grey trousers, finely black polished boots and white shirt and black tie walked over to them with a file clutched under his arm. Jackson saw him first and smiled. "Hi, which one of you is Aaron?" he asked warmly as he looked at them both.

"Aaron?" Jackson spoke as he shook him gently.

Aaron looked up and nodded. "That's me"

The man smiled. "Hi, I'm Dan Wilkinson, your doctor" he said as he held out his hand.

"Oh um…right…hi" Aaron said quickly as he shook the doctor's hand.

"Shall we get started?" he asked.

"Uh yeah, but can they go come in? This is my mum Chas and this is Jackson, my boyfriend" Aaron asked nervously.

"I insist on it actually, but I do need to speak to you first after I've done that I'll call them in and bring them up to speed if that's okay?"

"Yeah" Aaron nodded as got to his feet.

"It'll be alright love" Chas told him with a smile.

…

The doctor's office was just like the reception area, warm and comfortable. There was a desk with a computer but behind Aaron where he sat opposite the doctor at the desk were two sofas behind with a table In between with a vase in the middle of it brimmed with colourful flowers. He settled back into the chair as he let out a shaky breath. He also noticed that they were laid back on a first name basis; he supposed it would make it better if people were going to be there a lot. Dan looked up from Aaron's file and smiled at him then closed the file and sat back comfortably in his too.

"Okay then I've just reviewed the notes the GUM clinic sent over to us and they ran several tests themselves before informing you just to be sure and we've ran our own and I can confirm sadly for the final time that you are HIV positive Aaron" Dan watched as Aaron hung his head and nodded. "And it's perfectly natural to feel the way that you do"

Aaron sighed and looked back up at him.

"Have you looked into it at all?"

"No" Aaron told him quietly. "But I understand the basics"

"Okay well as it stands at the moment your CD4 count is around five hundred"

"Okay" Aaron nodded with a frown. "When does it get to the point of medication?"

"UK Guidelines suggest when the count reaches the three fifty mark but to be honest Aaron the decision is completely up to you, there is no right time to start treatment but if you chose to start now there may be a few risks"

"Like?"

"Starting treatments early may reduce your quality of life at a time when HIV would not have. There is also a possibility that if your treatments don't work effectively against HIV, drug resistance could develop, and you would have fewer drug options if you become ill because of HIV"

"Right…" Aaron said slowly, trying as best he could to take it in.

"At the moment this is why I'm here, to help you decide early treatment or to rule it out"

"No I'll wait" Aaron told him with a nod.

"Are you absolutely certain?"

"Yeah, yeah I am"

Dan smiled with a nod and jotted down some notes. "What I'm going to do now is take another blood sample, naturally your cell count plummeted dramatically once you were infected so this test will give me more clearer understanding of where you are, it will have to be monitored, and I've already made an appointment again for you for this date exactly in three months"

"Okay"

"We have an excellent team here Aaron and for us to be able to help you as best and efficiently as we can we have to come know each other, now…I know it won't happen immediately but we're nice people, and I didn't say this but the difference between us and hospitals is that we do care"

Aaron smirked at that.

"Or should I say we have more time to spend on one patient for longer, that's what I was meaning. I do need to know of any additional medical history that might not be in your records…so I'm aware when the time comes in deciding your treatment…"

"it's all there really I erm…well I don't suppose it would matter…"

"What wouldn't?"

"I'm a recovering cocaine addict" he admitted quietly and he was quite shy with it, naturally.

"No that won't matter" he replied warmly. "But you're not having a good time of it then are ya?"

Aaron shook his head as he rubbed his tired eyes, he hadn't slept again. "No not really"

"Would you like me to refer you to a counsellor? I ask every patient that comes in and some are so stubborn they say no but as your doctor I really do urge you to Aaron, cutting out cocaine well…I know"

Aaron looked at him then and he couldn't picture it, he couldn't even grasp the possibility of someone so sharp and polished with degrees in medicine to have gone through that but that was it, he had and recovered and built a life for himself, Holly was another example too she was getting on with life and so would he

"…And now with your recent news well I know it's having a negative psychological effect, I see it all the time and I really do urge you to take up this offer, you have to heal and understand what is happening to you because you have to be ready for the change it's going to bring"

"Alright"

Dan smirked. "Alright as in yes or I'll think about it?"

Aaron couldn't help but smirk. "As in yes, I'll see a counsellor"

"Okay then" Dan replied as he noted down to get him referred asap. "Any questions?"

"Yeah erm is there anything I can do to help myself and what about sex? Obviously I have a boyfriend and we've only done it once but that was before I was infected, we met on holiday and we haven't done it again yet but we will and to be honest doctor…er Dan I'm scared"

Dan chuckled. "And scared is a perfectly normal reaction too, some people have this warped idea that they'll never have sex again, and while having a partner who isn't infected is scary because you don't want to put them in danger it is still possible to enjoy sex and the answer is a condom, that's all…always, always wear one with him, with anyone from now on"

"Don't worry I've learned my lesson"

"Sorry I tend to start preaching when it comes to that, I didn't mean it in that way just a gentle reminder because if you don't you'd never be able to forgive yourself"

Aaron nodded, he'd hate himself!

"There are some leaflets out in reception about other sexual activities and how to be safe when it comes to those"

"I think my mums already took a couple of each"

Dan chuckled. "People who come along with the patient always do, but they need to know everything just like you do and it's not rocket science just learn the facts and you'll be better for it" Aaron nodded. "And as for your first question yeah course there are things you can do, regular exercise, eat healthy and stop smoking and I say that because I know you do" Dan smirked and Aaron rolled his eyes.

"My medical file tells it all then does it?"

"Yeah but it's confidential…there's something in there from a while back which also made me suggest counselling"

Aaron nodded and averted his eyes. "I'm not going to try topping myself again if that's what you're referring to?"

"It is yes and I'm not saying you would but news like this; well sometimes, it can push people"

Aaron nodded. "And I get that I do, it's trying with all its might to push me but I'm not letting it, and naturally I'm not doing cartwheels who would but I'm not going to try that, I've got Jackson now and my mum and I know I can still live my life it'll just be more difficult that's all"

Dan smiled. "And you've got your support team here aswell"

Aaron nodded again.

"I'll bring them in now and go over what we discussed about your blood count, nothing more"

Aaron smiled as he watched him get up and open his door then he waved them over and they walked in seconds later. He sat in silence as he listened to Dan explain and then the questions he knew his mum and Jackson would ask afterward then he listened to the answers from Dan. He was a nice man, made him feel comfortable which was a surprise, considering he hated doctors and hospitals but he had to admit this was different.

When Dan was finished talking to them he walked over to a large filing cabinet and pulled out a clear plastic bag with a syringe inside then put on some rubber gloves and walked back to Aaron "You ready?"

Aaron nodded. "Come on then" he said with a sigh and he took his arm out from his jacket and placed it along the arm of the chair and watched as Dan slapped his hand on his forearm a few times then he pushed the needle into the skin which made Aaron jump slightly at the intrusion rather than the prick from it, then Dan pulled back the syringe and it filled with blood. He removed the needle and handed Aaron a tissue for the blood that would seep from it, he then placed the syringe back into the clear bag and sealed it up. "All done" he told him as he walked back around his desk and sat down.

Chas and Jackson watched with a small smile on their faces, they were really proud of him.

"I'll just write down your appointment on a card and our number will be on there too, you can call us anytime and you should get a letter from a counsellor pretty quickly regarding an appointment for you" when he'd finished speaking he handed the card to Aaron, then reached into a box at the corner of his desk and took out a plaster. "You'll need that too"

Aaron smiled and took it from him and ripped it open "Thanks, you've been really helpful…I don't feel any better than I did but I'm more clear on things" he told him as he replaced the tissue with the plaster.

Dan smiled. "That's what the counsellor is for and you're welcome, I'll see you in three months or before if you need to"

Aaron nodded and stood up. "See you then" he said with a grateful smile before turning and heading out with his mum and Jackson.

Once outside in the car park a very curious Chas spoke. "Counsellor?"

Aaron rolled his eyes. "Don't knock it, I told him about my recovery and he said with that and then this news its might have more of a bad effect and he recommended I take the offer, not many people do, but before all that he saw in my notes about my attempt at the garage, he said that's what made him bring it up, it worried him but I told him I wouldn't be doing that"

"You wouldn't get chance anyway" Jackson told him as he wrapped his arm round Aaron's waist as they walked back to the car.

"Well on top of that very handsome doctor and the counsellor, you still have us and you can do this"

"I hope so mum, I really do…I'm just scared you know, angry at myself…"

Jackson and Chas didn't really know what to say. "You can't change it love, let the anger go"

"I wish I could, it's what keeps me awake at night" he told them and almost instantly Chas and Jackson exchanged a knowing look, they'd have to watch him a bit more just to be safe because if the anger consumed him, he would erupt like a raging volcano, they'd have to try and stop that before it happened, if it ever was going too but that had been the problem since finding out the devastating news, Aaron's moods changed dramatically over each day and it was hard to tell what else was going through his mind aside from the obvious.

* * *

TBC…


	23. Giving Up?

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A ****Life-**

**"Giving Up?"**

* * *

Three days had passed since Aaron's visit to the specialist, he'd avoided any conversation regarding his illness or the visit itself and he wasn't eating which was worrying Jackson. Now the start of the fourth day since Jackson was sat eating breakfast in the kitchen and it looked like Aaron wasn't going to bother eating his that he'd made for him but he didn't want to force it on him. Moments later the silence was disturbed as the front door swung open and a cheery Chas walked in with a suitcase.

It had caught Aaron's attention and he looked up at her with a frown. "Uh where are you going?"

"Here" Chas declared with a grin.

"Why?" Aaron asked.

Chas sighed. "Because I've had a major reality check and my priorities should have been with you for a long time but they weren't… now they are and obviously Carl didn't like that so I told him to jog on, we're finished so I will be staying here with you two"

Jackson simply smiled at her but he was jumping for joy inside, he seemed to have lost the ability for now to get through to Aaron, now with any luck his mum could try.

Aaron shrugged "Err yeah" he wasn't bothered in the slightest, that much was obvious "Fine, whatever"

"Great" Chas smiled but looked across to Jackson, his mood wasn't hard to miss. "Well then I'll take the spare room, it'll just be like old times" she told them then left and walked up the stairs with her case

Aaron scowled as he kept his gaze on the table. "Hardly" he muttered.

Jackson got up and put his dish in the sink. "Will you be alright today? I really have to get to work babe"

"Uh yeah you go"

"You sure?"

"I just said didn't I?" he snapped as he got to his feet.

"Where you going?" Jackson asked quickly.

"To our room why?"

"Well your breakfast Aaron you haven't eaten in days"

Aaron shrugged.

"Oh yeah because that's the kind of attitude you need to have right now isn't it"

Aaron scowled as he shook his head and walked to the stairs. "Leave it out Jackson will ya?"

"No I won't Aaron, your specialist said you have to eat healthy but right now god I'd settle for you just eating!" he called after him and stormed to the bottom of the stairs and watched as Aaron stopped and turned to face him and Jackson watched him clench his jaw and grit his teeth, Jackson sighed quietly, he just waited.

"I don't want too Jackson alright!"

"Why?" Jackson shouted back equally as loud.

"Because there's no point!" he yelled back angrier then stormed up the rest of the stairs then slammed his bedroom door.

Chas had overheard and ran straight to the top of the stairs and looked down at Jackson. "It'll be alright"

"Alright? Chas did you hear what he just said? He is GIVING UP!" he asked quickly and in a clear panic.

"Yes of course I heard him and we won't let him…just don't worry about it you've got to get to work Jackson, he needs to figure this out himself"

Jackson sighed as he grabbed his jacket from the rack and he left the house.

After a while Aaron emerged from his room and he stepped out onto the landing and he could hear the shower running, obviously it was his mum. He sighed and turned and found himself looking at the closed door of what used to be Paddy's bedroom. He blew out a shaky breath and walked over slowly, it was as if his legs were walking him he had no control but he wasn't fighting it. It was now well over a year since his death and Aaron hadn't set foot in the room, now as he grabbed the door handle it seemed he was now. Slowly he pushed the handle down and opened the door, he let go and pushed it open fully but he stayed on the landing simply looking in. The room was bright and cool, the window had been left locked but cracked open still. It was tidy, the bed was made and it was empty apart from a picture on the bedside table but Aaron knew it would be, Marlon and his mum sorted through all of Paddy's things. He hadn't realised he was crying until he reached up and rubbed his face, upon the realisation he wiped them away and walked into the room, looking around the emptiness as he lowered himself down onto the bed. He had no idea why he'd put off going in there for so long because the pain he felt in those moments were as harsh as they would have been in the days after his death, he realised leaving it till then was pointless and he didn't feel any better for it, time in this case hadn't healed or made a start in healing the grief he felt over Paddy's death and in the silence with tears running down his face he uttered. "I'm sorry" and "I miss you so, so much"

…

Aaron couldn't stay in the house any longer, times like this he wished he still had Clyde, an excuse to get out of the house, to walk him but now he couldn't and he had to put up with questions when he was going somewhere but luckily he chose to make his escape when his mum walked through to the living room and as he opened the front door Hazel was walking in. "Oh hi" she said, keeping things neutral she still didn't like him.

"Uh hi" Aaron replied quietly as he walked out as the same time as Hazel walked in and he made his way down the village. Adam had seen him and called for him but Aaron wasn't hearing him. Adam frowned and watched where he was going, he called for him again but there was still nothing, he followed him at a distance, there was something going on that Aaron hadn't told him, Aaron's words in the pub told him exactly that, but he'd worried ever since and seeing Aaron so upset over Jackson singing to him well it wasn't Aaron, normally he would have hated that, tried to play it cool but he hadn't. One thing had come into Adam's head though and he needed the answer and if he was honest he was petrified of the answer from Aaron.

…

Hazel and Chas hadn't met and it was a quick hello and then the two women carried on with their business, Chas was painting her nails in the living room and now realising Jackson was at work she took it upon herself to tidy round, it needed it, washing was left lying around waiting to be done, the bin needed emptying and taken out, the dishes needed doing. She sighed and got to work, there were papers and pamphlets lying scattered on the table. "Men" she muttered as she walked over to sort the table out first, she knew Jackson was tidy so for it to get bad like it was meant that the chav's recovery was not getting any better. Hazel shook her head telling herself to give the lad some slack; she didn't know him and hadn't made an effort too, she told herself she would try for Jackson's sake. She gathered all the papers on the table and shuffled them into a neat pile…it was right in front of her the entire time and she hadn't seen it until now, a pamphlet titled _HIV - What Next? _She was horrified and the pile dropped out of her hands, she had to sit down, it was Jackson of course little did she know it wasn't but he was her son and the possibility frightened her.

By this time Adam had followed Aaron to the pavilion and made his presence known. Aaron rolled his eyes. "You know when you just wanna be alone and you can't be"

"So you were ignoring me then?" Adam asked as he stood with folded arms.

"Ignoring ya? When?" Aaron asked as he sat down on the steps.

"Before in the village"

"Oh" Aaron shrugged. "I-I didn't hear mate I'm sorry"

"Yeah you should be" Adam scolded and shook his head. "What's going on mate?"

"Nothing Adam just leave it" Aaron replied as he rubbed his tired face.

"I can't leave it mate, you told me there was something"

"Yeah and I said I'd tell you when I'm ready"

"But you've got me thinking all sorts…a-a-are you dying?"

Aaron was horrified and looked right at him quickly. "What! No! No Adam I'm not dying"

"Alright sorry…just worst case you know?"

"Yeah I know"

"Well then please mate tell me, you know you can trust me"

Aaron sighed and nodded and he held his arms out straight and slowly rubbed his hands together and he looked over at Adam. "You can't tell a soul Adam; this is serious, only my mum and Jackson know alright?"

"Yeah course mate" Adam replied quickly.

"The only reason I'm telling you is because you are my best mate and I wouldn't have it any other way"

Adam frowned. "Come on mate, I appreciate that but at the same time you're worrying me"

Aaron nodded. "A-alright…I dunno how you're going to react and if you don't like it and walk away I'll understand"

"Aaron" Adam urged him.

Aaron closed his eyes and took a breath. "I'm HIV positive Adam, I haven't known long"

Adam eyes widened and he dropped down next to Aaron on the step. "Jesus mate I-I...I'm so sorry"

Aaron smirked. "What you saying sorry for? This is my fault"

Adam quickly grabbed Aaron into a hug which caught him off guard but it tugged at his emotions, he could feel the love and support there from him and he hugged back tightly. "I'm here alright, anything you need anytime alright?"

Aaron nodded. "J-…just be there mate, please" he begged and Adam heard the desperation in his voice.

"You know I will" he told him as they parted and the lads smiled slightly at each other. "Now those words from that poncy westlife song make sense and so does your reaction now I know what's going on"

"Yeah" Aaron said as he looked out over the field.

"But y-you are ok though right?"

Aaron nodded. "Yeah unless I get ill from it but I shouldn't, I'll start treatment at some point so I'll have that on my side"

"Good, good yeah"

"Fancy erm being my running partner?" Aaron asked.

"Eh?"

"Oh well I'll ask Nikhil shall I?" Aaron scoffed. "I've got to stay healthy and exercise…my minds not on it right now but I'm asking so that you're ready for when I am"

"Oh right well uh yeah sure, just let me know when and we'll start"

"You need to get rid of that belly anyway mate"

Adam laughed. "Cheeky bastard"

"Yep I am" Aaron grinned which was a rare sight and it made Adam smile.

"Ahh I love you mate you do know that right?" Adam asked him with tears in his eyes and when Aaron looked back at him he saw the tears in his and Aaron smiled a little and nodded. "I love you too Farmboy"

Adam chuckled and pulled him into another hug. "You'll be alright"

"But for arguments sake what if a few years down the road and I'm not?" he asked as they parted.

Adam sighed and shook his head, Aaron knew Adam couldn't deal with that thought and neither could he but it was a possibility.

"Ah mate" Adam said with a sigh. "Well if that does happen then we'll deal with it, we'll be here for you, you won't go through any of this alone"

Aaron nodded and looked away again. "Just got a lot of things going through my mind you know?"

Adam nodded. "It's understandable, do you know when and how you got it?"

Aaron hung his head. "Yeah…I had sex with someone when I relapsed…they didn't use anything"

Adam's bottom lip instantly trembled and he knew he was about to start crying. His face scrunched up as the tears fell. "Relapsed?" he asked but his voice cracked because of the overwhelming emotion leaving him.

Aaron looked at him and shook his head. "Don't…Don't mate, we've sorted that…"

"No! Aaron!" he cried. "I did that! I made that happen!" he sobbed.

"N-No…sshh" Aaron quickly moved closer to comfort him and he put his arm around him. "I knew what I was doing that night, I chose to walk out the pub and go into town and get high and get fucked by a stranger you didn't make me do anything"

"But the fact is you wouldn't have if I had just kept my mouth shut, I'm so sorry Aaron" he cried hard and his head fell into Aaron's chest. "I'm so sorry" Aaron held him tight and soothed him.

"You don't have to be sorry, I did this to myself, I was careless and the way I see things right now I've ruined my life"

Adam calmed down and sniffled and sat up again. "You haven't"

"But I'm so angry" he told him with gritted teeth. He really was angry, he just couldn't express it, hitting out at something wouldn't even expel the feelings he was feeling.

"But it's done" Adam shrugged. "You have all of us here for you, that won't change, I'm still just sorry, it's not about me but I'm partly responsible and I can't forgive myself now"

"I understand I do and I know you're all here, but I'm pushing them away and I can't stop it, there's just so many things going on, you know mate I could easily without question go into town and get some gear because I still feel the craving for it, it would help take it all away…"

"Briefly then you'd remember, it's not worth it mate…"

Aaron nodded. "Still doesn't stop me from wanting it though, I'm going to the pub" he declared as he got to his feet. "You coming?" he asked then started walking.

Adam wiped his eyes and blew out a shaky breath as he got to his feet. He couldn't imagine what his mate was going through, he just simply couldn't and he probably never would. "Yeah" he put on a smile as he caught up to him and put his arm over his shoulder. "Why not…listen sorry about before"

Aaron smirked. "It's alright, I won't tell anyone you broke down crying in my arms"

Adam looked at him with a frown then both of them burst into laughter as they made their way back to the village.

* * *

**TBC…**


	24. Jumping The Gun

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"Jumping The Gun"**

* * *

The pub had gotten busy as the day went on and Aaron felt uncomfortable as more and more people filled it but he and Adam were sat in the corner, he just told himself it was alright, no one could tell. He'd consumed quite a bit of alcohol already, figured he'd needed it, told Adam he deserved it which they laughed about. Chas was working and Aaron hadn't said anything to her apart from "Two pints please" in a gruff, miserable tone and he avoided any attempts on her part to make conversation; the only person he was able to talk to at the moment was Adam, there was a reason for that. Adam never pushed, never reminded him of what was happening, he took his mind off things and it was working, their banter was top notch and the laughs were on going.

Chas had had enough and she watched around the bar, he couldn't simply just ignore what was happening and she told him that harshly as she interrupted the boys' conversation. Aaron frowned up at her. "Will you shut your big mouth please?"

"No, I won't you're burying your head in the sand son"

"Oh am I? Right okay then you obviously haven't got a clue then have ya?"

"Well no, course I wouldn't, or Jackson because you won't talk to us but you'll happy sit here and get drunk with Adam"

Adam sighed; he felt really uncomfortable and made a move to leave. "I'll go then mate you two obviously have things to talk about"

Aaron grabbed his arm and pulled him back down. "No, mate its fine you don't have too"

Adam nodded and looked back up at Chas.

"Ahh so he knows then?"

"Yeah course he does, I couldn't keep it secret forever could I? He's my best mate"

"Well this conversation isn't over and if you're going to sit here and drink I'll have Marlon make you something and you _will _eat it" Aaron rolled his eyes. "Don't start son, you've got too"

Aaron sighed and shook his head. "Well it'll be a waste cause I won't touch it"

"Well we'll see"

"No! Mum!" Aaron raised his voice and stood to his feet grabbing the attention of other drinkers, not ideal but he couldn't stand her badgering him any longer. "We won't see because I won't eat it alright! So just stop!"

Chas looked around and saw all the faces on them. She sighed. "Just calm down Aaron"

"Calm down? I will when you leave me alone!"

"Are you starving yourself is that it? Is that why you won't eat?"

Aaron couldn't help but laugh and he rubbed his head in frustration. "NO! I don't want to eat because if I do I'll be sick, I feel physically sick every second of the day and if I so much as eat anything that's it"

"He's angry Chas" Adam told her quietly.

Chas quickly wiped away tears that had surfaced. "I know that Adam but starving himself won't help"

"Well from where I'm standing it is, leave me alone and I'll have another drink"

"No, I'm not serving you"

"Oh alright then, I'll go elsewhere" he told her and grabbed his jacket and started walking out.

"Aaron!" Chas called after him while Adam got his stuff together. "Good work Chas" Adam told her as he rushed by her to follow Aaron.

…

Jackson got home around six o clock unaware that Aaron was out in bar west with Adam, he was dusty from plastering and was in desperate need of a shower. He walked through the front door to see the place tidy, he was impressed, Chas had certainly been busy little did he know.

Adam watched Aaron's every move since getting to bar west, he was angry and he'd tried to calm him down to no avail, he consumed lager instead. They were now on their fourth pint, or was it the fifth? Adam couldn't for the life of him remember partly due to worrying about his mate and the consumption of alcohol. "You wanna talk mate?"

"No not really I wanna sit here and get paralytic mate"

"Alright but just take it easy yeah?"

"Why?" Aaron turned to him quickly with a frown.

"I just think you should that's all"

"Well I don't and to be honest I'm sick of people telling me what I should and shouldn't be doing"

"Alright yeah, I get that but alcohol is not the answer"

"And talking's gunna fix it all is it?"

"No nothings gunna fix it mate but talking will make is easier, get it off your chest and start dealing with it"

"I am dealing with it!"

Adam rolled his eyes and sighed. "By drinking yourself into oblivion then?"

"Why the hell not? If you don't wanna be here then go"

"Don't do that Aaron I wouldn't have come after you if I didn't, we're all worried and wish we could make it go away but we can't…come on mate the bar is getting busier now let's go somewhere more private and we can talk"

Aaron shook his head. "I don't want too Adam"

"Alright fine, it's ok"

"Yeah it is" Aaron told him as he picked his glass up and took a drink.

"Look I know you can't see it and it's so hard to believe it but sometimes you just need a little help"

"Little help?" Aaron asked as he started to laugh. "Little…" he scoffed.

"You know what I mean" Adam replied bluntly.

Aaron flicked up his eyebrows quickly at Adam's reply.

…

Jackson walked into the pub, changed and fresh after his shower, he stopped at the bar and slapped his hands down. "Right where is he then?"

Chas frowned as she walked over to him and started pulling him a pint. "I'm sorry love I don't follow"

"Aaron obviously"

"Well yeah I know that but I haven't seen him in a few hours, we had a bit of an exchange earlier, I tried to get him to eat something but he wouldn't and we had a row in front of everyone, I told him I wasn't serving him so he stormed out but don't worry Adam's with him"

Jackson sighed

"He's really angry Jackson"

"I know, but I can't help him with this"

"But you couldn't with the drugs really but you did"

"I know Chas but this is different, this can't be controlled or stopped and neither can Aaron's state of mind so if he's angry then he's angry"

"And we suffer the fallout then yeah?" Chas asked quietly.

"Gunna have too" Jackson said with a sigh as he took the pint glass from Chas and took a drink.

"Well you've got me love, we'll do this together" Chas told him and reached out and placed her hand over his.

Back in bar west Adam had left Aaron while he'd went to the toilet. Aaron was lost in his own thoughts but was suddenly brought from them as someone sat beside him. He turned to see who it was naturally expecting it to be Adam returning from the toilet but it wasn't, it was Sam one of his old clients as it were the one who had turned dealer, it shocked him, was that how he looked back then? Pale skin, dark baggy tired eyes, sweating; he swallowed hard as he looked away from his smirking face.

"I don't think so Sam"

"Ahh come on Aaron you know you want too" the lad was seemingly desperate.

Aaron scowled and turned to face him again. "No!" he raised his voice. "I don't do that anymore"

"Oh thought I hadn't seen you on the street corner for a while"

Aaron ran his tongue across his bottom lip, he could feel his anger rising. "And I don't use anymore either"

Sam narrowed his eyes at Aaron that was a shock, he never thought he'd ever stop the stuff, Aaron's addiction was a deep one and it was a shame because without the drugs he obviously like he'd already told him wouldn't be putting out any longer. That was a shame. He had to do something about that.

"Ah well Rob's lost a good customer then hasn't he?"

"I don't care about Rob" Aaron spat. "Go away Sam, I'm not that lad anymore and I never will be again"

"Are you sure about that?"

Aaron was cringing, he disgusted him. "Absolutely sure, get out of my face before you find out that I'm more than just a good fuck"

Sam chuckled. "Ohh Aaron Livesy's gunna start a fight everyone! Better be careful!"

Aaron shook his head and stood up, grabbed his jacket at the same time and glared at Sam who held up his hands and simply smiled. "Alright, alright…sorry"

"Whatever, I'm still going" Aaron told him and took out his phone to text Adam to tell him he'd be outside.

Sam watched Aaron leave then pulled out his phone and made a call. "Yeah it's done…no problem, see ya"

…

The visit from Sam and the cold air while waiting for the bus back and then walking down the village to the pub had considerably sobered him up but he hadn't uttered a word and left Adam confused by his sudden exit.

Hazel had been in the pub for fifteen minutes and was sat with Bob but she was looking over at Jackson standing at the bar talking to Chas, she drummed her fingers quickly on the table. "Hazel, are you alright?" Bob asked.

"What sorry?" Hazel focussed her attention on him. "Oh yeah, fine can you just give me a minute I need to have a word with that stranger I call my son" she told him quickly and got up out of her seat and walked over to Jackson. She sighed and stopped beside him. "Me and you need a word"

"Err well I'm trying to have a private conversation actually"

"Oh of course" Hazel grinned. "Lots of things going on in that house I don't know about isn't there"

"More like things that don't concern you" Chas told her abruptly with sharpness to her tone.

Jackson sighed as Aaron and Adam walked back into the bar.

"Well when I find things like this, Jackson!" she pulled out one of the HIV pamphlets she had found earlier and slapped it down onto the bar in view of quite a few people. "It does concern me, you should have told me! I've been a mess all day!"

Aaron froze. "Uh what's going on?"

Hazel, Chas and Jackson looked over at him. "Oh here he is, no doubt your fault this! I don't want you anywhere near my son from now on, you've done enough damage"

"Mum!" Jackson yelled. "You need to keep your mouth shut"

Aaron stormed over to Jackson and saw the pamphlet and he froze and looked between his mum and Jackson. "How did she get that?"

"Oh you know seen as though my son lives in your house I went round, he wasn't in but I thought I'd tidy round, I found it"

"Jackson get rid of it"

Jackson quickly then swiped it from the bar and put it in his pocket but unfortunately now they had an audience.

"I don't want you in my house ever again!" Aaron told her.

"You were there when I came!"

Aaron sighed and clenched his jaw. "I wasn't thinking straight this morning"

"Look woah, if this is what I think this is about don't you think we should take this elsewhere" Adam advised but no one was listening.

Hazel chuckled. "And when do you ever listen? Maybe if you listened in school, pfft that is if you went to school you might have learned how to use condoms!"

Aaron raged. "Shut your mouth!"

"Or what? You'll hit me like you did Jackson! You have damaged him too much now; you aren't going back to that house, not after what he's given you!"

"Given me? Woah hang on mum he hasn't given me anything"

"Then why do you have HIV leaflets around the place then?" she demanded which caused a flurry of gossip and gasps from the locals.

"Hazel!" Chas shouted. "Out now"

Aaron took a deep breath. "Because it's not Jackson, Hazel alright! It's not your fucking son who has it it's me so go on all of ya! Keep gossiping! The local druggy has HIV well done me eh! "

Hazel frowned and went into a panic. "I-I thought it was-"

"Well you were wrong, but to be honest, you're pretty judgemental I'm surprised you didn't just know it was me as soon as you saw the leaflet, I mean what else would you or anyone else expect eh?" Aaron was agitated and his face was red with anger and the veins in his neck were bulging out, his heart was racing and he could feel his eyes stinging, tears were ready to fall.

"Oh Aaron love, it's not like that" Chas assured him softly.

"Is it not?" Aaron's voice caught and he simply ran out.

"NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE! He wasn't ready for this! He's still taking it all in, now everybody knows! You stupid! Stupid woman!" Jackson raged and ran after his boyfriend.

Hazel realised what she had just done. "I-I thought it was Jackson…" she said quietly.

"We understand that…" Adam said but Chas interrupted. "But you should have dealt with this in private! Thank you very much, he's on the edge as it is!" Chas yelled and stormed through to the back.

…

Aaron was sat at the kitchen table with a small bag of cocaine held in his hand and the front door opened, he was too lost in what he was seeing to know who came in. "I-I don't know how I've got this…"

Jackson stopped in his tracks and swallowed hard.

"I-I didn't buy it, I was just in bar west with Adam…" he then clicked and he let out a sigh. "No, I do know how I got it" he explained calmly as he was still staring at it. "Sam came up and spoke to me there…h-he must have put it in my pocket, I swear I didn't go for this, I just had to get away from the village"

Jackson cleared his throat. "Put it down the sink Aaron"

Aaron panicked and quickly shook his head whilst still staring at it in his hand. "I don't want too"

* * *

**TBC…**


	25. Inner Strength

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"Inner Strength"**

* * *

_Jackson cleared his throat. "Put it down the sink Aaron"_

_Aaron panicked and quickly shook his head whilst still staring at it in his hand. "I don't want too"_

* * *

Jackson was panicking; he could feel his heart pounding in his chest. "You haven't come this far to wreck it all now"

Aaron scoffed. "It's all wrecked anyway isn't it Jackson?"

"No, no it isn't…Look babe I can't even begin to imagine what this is like for you but if you take that stuff you're back to square one again and you'll find that you'll still feel the same, the last thing you need to deal with is another come down"

"I-I looked at Sam earlier and I realised that was me before and the way he looked disgusted me and I told him I wasn't going back there and I won't but Jackson…I-I just want this…I need it"

Jackson had started crying as he listened and he rushed over and sat beside him at the table and held his free hand tightly. "You don't need it babe, l0-…look at me" Aaron looked him in the eyes as Jackson squeezed his hand. "You don't Aaron, please, please let me get rid of it…d-do it for us babe"

Aaron sobbed and hung his head and shook it.

"Hey…I love you, you know what that means don't you? Love…"

Aaron shrugged sadly, he'd gotten lost again, he and Jackson weren't like a couple they had just barely started to become a few weeks before.

"As love is my witness I swear" he sang in a hushed tone with a small smile he couldn't help. "I'll be with you till the end…nothing can tear this love apart…_that_ was the promise I made to you" he stopped and Aaron's sad face and teary eyes met his. "That's what it means, I love you so much my heart is breaking and all I want to do is help you through this"

"You've hardly touched me" Aaron sobbed out.

That was something Jackson had not expected and it had thrown him. "What?" he asked softly with a frown. "But I am…"

"Yeah…now…but since…but I can hardly blame you right?"

Tears streamed down Jackson's face. "T-Things have just been up in the air Aaron…but you haven't exactly been coming to me for comfort, a-and I know this is the last thing on your mind and it wasn't discussed before all this but I've never wanted to make love to somebody as much as I do with you right now"

Aaron shot a look at Jackson, he hadn't expected that. "What?" he asked in almost a whisper.

"You heard me right…" Jackson told him with a nod. "Y-you keep pushing me away and all I've wanted is to feel close to you, to make you feel safe and that everything's going to be alright…and I've wanted to look after you a-and…that's the most intimate way of showing you that…I'm not pushing it or suggesting it but it entered my mind…I'm hurting for you too you know"

Aaron was speechless as he stared into his brown teary eyes.

"Everything is going to be alright babe; you have HIV, so what? It's not the end…we can still be happy, and I'm not asking you to accept it straight away but at least back down and let us in because I'm at a loss right now, we all are…"

Aaron slowly looked away and pulled, gently away from Jackson's hand as he got to his feet. Jackson watched curiously. Aaron swallowed hard as he opened the bag of cocaine and he tipped it into the sink then turned the tap on, he even turned and showed Jackson the empty bag before putting it in the bin. When Aaron sat back down Jackson held both of his hands. "You did the right thing"

Aaron nodded. "I know" he replied quietly. "Everyone knows Jackson, everybody"

"I know, I know but stuff them…you're still you and you can rise above anything because you're Aaron Livesy, the man I love" Jackson tried drilling it into his head, he could indeed rise above it all and most importantly that he loved him. "If they don't like it that's their problem, you aren't a label Aaron, you're a human being, a person just like the rest of them, yes there's a difference, a difference enough for us to have to make changes but it doesn't affect them and it never will"

Aaron suddenly leapt from his chair and wrapped his arms around Jackson's neck and clung to him and he cried out sorrys and thank you's to him. Jackson held on tight too and reassured him it was okay, that he understood his behaviour. After their long hug Aaron was practically sat in Jackson's lap but he didn't mind and he kept him there with his arms around his stomach. Aaron blew out a deep breath and looked into his boyfriends eyes. "I do love you, I don't say it enough but I do and I don't want you to ever think I don't"

"I know you do"

"A-and I'm not saying this because of what you just said but I'm ready…Jackson I want you, I need you"

"Aaron babe, are you absolutely sure?"

"I'm sure Jay…" Aaron said as he nodded his head. "Take me to bed, please"

Jackson nodded and without any more words he stood up with Aaron in his arms and he carried him up, both smiling at each other as they ascended the stairs.

The rest of their night was the most pleasurable and euphoric either of them had ever experienced, Jackson made love to Aaron until the early hours, he was so considerate, so gentle, loving and caring which made Aaron feel worthy of him, he hadn't recently but Jackson proved yet again that he always would be to him, no matter what and that night simply proved that they would still have a sex life and considering he didn't remember their time on holiday it meant that this was their first time, for Aaron anyway and he was blown away, with each thrust into him that Jackson made it was propelling his mind and soul even further up to cloud nine, even just the touch of their skin sent him higher, them both higher, it was the ecstasy, the euphoric feeling he needed, not the one the drugs gave and despite no words passing either of their lips he was grateful to Jackson, he always would be and in his own ways Jackson knew how grateful he actually was and how much he was loved by Aaron, it made him give more of himself to him and the moans and groans leaving Aaron…well Jackson knew he had been understood. After their intense pleasurable love making they fell asleep together in each other's arms.

…

Aaron woke to the sound of cutlery clinking and he opened his eyes with an etched frown on his brow but it faded quickly when the sight of his well-endowed naked boyfriend stood at the side just having placed a tray down with breakfast on it.

"Morning gorgeous" Jackson said with a smile as he pulled back the bed sheet and got in to climb over Aaron's own naked, bed warmed body. As he climbed over Aaron grabbed him so he was practically sitting on his lower stomach.

"You made breakfast, naked?" Aaron asked bluntly which made Jackson laugh.

"I did and I would really, really love it if you had some"

Aaron sighed with a smirk. "How can I refuse you?"

"Oh" Jackson grinned. "So basically next time I need you desperately to do something when you're being so stubborn and you won't, I should just get naked and ask then?"

Aaron smiled and even chuckled. "Err yeah basically"

Jackson chuckled too and climbed off Aaron to let him sit up and he lay beside him and simply stared up at him.

"Last night Jackson it erm…" he stopped feeling shy and nervous all of a sudden and his flushed cheeks gave it away. Jackson smiled and simply waited. "Well it was the most amazing and perfect night of my life and if it's possible, well it has to be because…I loved you more last night and I woke up now loving you even more"

"God I love you so much"

Aaron nodded with a smile. "You are the drug I've needed" he scoffed. "Don't take that funny or out…"

"No, no…course not I know what you mean, go on"

"I- I just wish you were here back then, you know? I might not have made so many mistakes if you had been"

"But the important thing is I am now and I'm not going away, last night was the most amazing and perfect night of my life too, it just shows that the connection we have is there, always was and is certainly reignited again"

Aaron definitely agreed. "I-It didn't feel awkward…"

"Course it didn't, we were safe, that's all we have to be"

"And we will"

Jackson leaned up onto an elbow and exaggerated as he looked around the room. "What?" Aaron asked and started to laugh. "What you looking for?"

Jackson sighed and turned back to his man. "Well see…I'm looking for my boyfriend, I've lost him, he looks like you just a bit more…" Jackson pulled a face which Aaron knew was meant to be a copy of him when he was in a one, or being stubborn.

"Yeah very funny"

"Yeah it is funny…" Jackson said happily while leaning closer into him as he looked into his eyes. "Cause I've not seen him for a very long time"

"Oh" Aaron shrugged. "He must have bogged off then, got fed up of making people's lives a misery I expect"

Jackson simply grinned. "Come here you" he growled as he pulled Aaron back down and moved to lie on top of him. "Breakfast can wait, I'll make something later"

"You do that" Aaron told him as he grabbed hold of either side of Jackson's face and lifted his head up slightly to kiss him, his kiss was passionate, tongues clashed and swiped against one another as both of them began to rise to the occasion that was coming, morning love making, but it wasn't Jackson's turn, oh no!

* * *

**TBC…**


	26. JustAnother Day

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"Just…Another Day"**

* * *

"It's my guilty pleasure alright" Aaron told him as he walked back to the couch after putting a DVD. They were having a relaxed day and so far it had stayed that way. He settled back down next to Jackson and snuggled into him. "You laugh Walsh and I swear I won't talk to you for the rest of this week!"

Jackson smirked as the DVD menu came up on the TV. "Aww are you going soft on me cause you're in love?" he cooed.

Aaron scowled. "And what if I am, I love P.S. I love you, leave me alone"

Jackson chuckled and leaned down and kissed him softly on the lips. "I'm not fooled Livesy, I know why you've put this on"

"Oh and why's that?"

"So you can perv at Gerard Butler, I know your game" Jackson teased.

"But there's only one man for me and he's holding me right now, so you don't need to ever worry about stuff like that"

"I know babe" Jackson stopped the teasing as soon as he realised Aaron was being serious. "Neither do you"

Aaron smiled and nodded. "Press play then, god I'm waiting you know…sheesh" he told him with a smirk as he turned back to the TV.

The boys enjoyed the film, especially Jackson, he'd been crying but he'd denied it to Aaron but Aaron knew he had. "Bet you were though" Jackson shot back and Aaron looked up at him with teary eyes. "Always do" he told him with a grin just as knocks on the front door could be heard.

Jackson rolled his eyes and sighed. "It's alright; I'll send whoever it is away"

Aaron nodded and he watched his boyfriend get up and walk out of the room.

When Jackson opened the door to see his mother looking very sheepish on the doorstep he sighed and shut the door in her face. She had crossed a line last night in the pub and there was no way his anger would just be gone overnight.

Hazel sighed and leaned down and pushed open the letter box as Edna and Betty were walking up the village, shaking their heads, disapproving of dirty laundry being aired in pub, and now outdoors seemingly and they spoke quite loudly, enough for Hazel to hear it and she turned around and stood up. "Excuse me?"

"Oh nothing love" Betty replied slyly with a smile on her face.

"Yeah that's what I thought" Hazel snapped and turned back to the red door of Smithy cottage and knocked again.

"Who is it?" Aaron asked as he wandered through to the kitchen.

"Oi you, I wanted you to just rest today"

"Yeah well fat chance of that happening is there now tell me who it is"

Jackson sighed but Hazel started speaking through the letterbox. "Ahh" Aaron sounded. "Let her in"

"No chance"

Aaron sighed and stepped in front of Jackson, pushing him aside in the process and he opened the door to which Jackson was subject to glares from his mum as she walked in. Aaron and Jackson followed her to the living room. "Err sit down if you like" Aaron told her as he walked past her to sit back down on the sofa, he was nervous, he didn't really want her there but it saved an all-out argument on the street.

"Thanks, Aaron" Hazel replied and she did sound apologetic, very in fact, he nodded at her as she sat down on the other sofa. Meanwhile Jackson stood with a stern look on his face with his arms folded firmly against his chest.

"Jay, sit down its fine"

"Fine? Have you had a personality transplant overnight, she outed you to the entire village!"

"As a matter of fact" Aaron began as he gave Jackson a knowing look. "I have overnight, yes"

Jackson sighed, he got Aaron's hidden message, and their love making had certainly changed his view on a few things, Hazel and what she had done particularly. "She thought it was you, any mother is bound to think it…"

"And I am so very sorry Aaron, I never meant for it to happen the way it did and I realise now I should have handled things better"

"Yeah you should have, now I can't show my face out that door"

Hazel nodded and hung her head. "I'm sorry"

"Are you two absolutely insane?" Jackson yelled. "You for listening to her and for you to even come knocking to seek forgiveness, and you don't even like him it just makes it even worse! Jesus you have some nerve mum!"

Aaron sighed and got to his feet. "I'm going to have to show my face cause I can't bear it in here anymore"

"No! Wait babe, I'm sorry…I'm just mad"

Aaron nodded as he continued walking past him. "Yeah so am I Jay, I'm absolutely seething but I can't be arsed with this on top of the rest so I'm going out and don't think about following me"

The house remained silent until the front door slammed shut as Aaron left. "I can't believe you mum"

"Neither can I Jackson but I really am sorry"

"How can you be? You were probably jumping for joy when you found it is was Aaron who was HIV positive and not me"

"No I wasn't Jackson" Hazel told him as she let out a sigh. "Yeah alright I was disgusted when I thought of how he got it"

"Well then your thoughts were right mum cause that's exactly how he got it!" he spat angrily. "He's so angry at himself, and he didn't need what you did yesterday"

"I didn't know Jackson!"

"Well then we're just going to keep going around in circles in that case aren't we?"

"I'll make this up to you, to you both"

"And what if I don't want you too?" Jackson asked flippantly.

Hazel frowned and panicked. "W-Well I-…I'm your mum Jackson"

Jackson nodded. "That's right, but he's my boyfriend and this isn't just some crush, you have to realise that by now, I love him"

"I know, I know you do. I made a mistake Jackson and I'm very sorry about that, I'll try with Aaron son I promise"

Jackson sighed and rubbed his forehead and seconds later nodded. "You better cause he's a part of my life now, he's the only person I've ever felt this way about and nothing and no one is going to ruin it"

"I understand love I do, I'm sorry"

Jackson nodded again. "Alright but try"

"I will, I promise"

Jackson managed a small smile.

…

Aaron had been sat on the bench in the village by the phone box for almost ten minutes now, he'd gotten looks and he knew people were talking but he ignored them. One thing he couldn't ignore was the man walking toward him and he let out a heavy sigh. "What the hell do you want?"

"To give you this" Carl explained with a smarmy grin on his face as he handed out a folded piece of paper.

Aaron snatched it from Carl's hand and unfolded it and saw a hefty car repair bill. He snorted and threw it down in front of Carl's feet. "I don't think so"

"Oh but I do"

"Get stuffed Carl you were lucky it was just the car and what's up anyway? Heartbroken are ya?" Aaron asked as he laughed at him. "Good, you deserve to be"

"I changed for her, but then you, you caused problems for us like you always used too"

Aaron shrugged. "Well apparently kids come first"

Carl scoffed and shook his head. "I don't know why she's wasting her time; you'll be dead in a few years"

Aaron got to his feet and went for him, but Carl had time to react and he swung out his feet and lamped him one on his nose causing it to bleed. "Look at ya! Riddled! You disgusting piece of scum!"

Aaron's chest was rising and falling rapidly as his anger built even more, Carl could always push his buttons and it didn't help that he had ammunition.

"You deserve whatever you get, you've ruined Jackson's life, I bet he was alright before he met you, you deserve to die and you should do everyone a favour and finish it off yourself" Carl growled his words and glared at him before storming off leaving Aaron to stoop back down onto the bench with the blood still seeping from his nose – his infected dirty blood, at least that was how he thought of it. He was low again, Carl had that effect lately and he remained slumped down on the bench for quite some time and he was unaware of Ashley approaching him.

Ashley stopped in front of Aaron; he seemed dazed so he leaned down to look at him. "Aaron you alright?"

Aaron sighed and nodded his head. "Just make sure you don't touch me yeah?"

"I have heard, I think everyone has but I'm one person who won't judge, others do unfortunately…but they shouldn't"

Aaron looked up at him. "Only god is my judge and all that right?"

"If you believe, but I know you don't…y-you know if you do ever wanna go into the church Aaron he won't strike you down…god can be there for you, give you the inner strength you need to get through this"

"I thought I had" Aaron replied miserably.

"Jackson?" Ashley asked and Aaron nodded his head. "But I still somehow eventually always end up feeling like I have no strength whatsoever, no matter how much I love Jackson or how much he tries" Aaron told him with a sigh.

"You can talk to me if you want too Aaron"

Aaron shook his head and smiled slightly at him. "I appreciate that, but I've got a counsellor's meeting coming up at some point, I'll be alright"

Ashley nodded. "Still, the offer is there"

"Thanks" Aaron thanked him again and Ashley continued on his way. Aaron took in a deep breath and agreed with everything Carl had said and he clenched his jaw and subtly nodded to himself and got to his feet and walked off.

…

Angry, Aaron stormed past the garage but Tom was leaving at the same time and stopped. "Heading to Carl's again then eh?"

Aaron stopped in his tracks and turned to the young mechanic. "And if I was?"

"Well of course it's nothing to do with me but you've already done enough damage" Tom bravely told him, he'd come out of his shell in recent months and Aaron hadn't missed that fact.

Aaron rolled his eyes and sighed before heading back up the village. "You coming back to work then or what?" Tom called to him with a smirk.

Aaron frowned and turned to look back at him. "Why do you care? You don't like me from what I remember"

"Nah…see" Tom said with a sigh and looked around before turning his attention back at Aaron. "I didn't like what you were taking and how it was making you be towards everyone, but we could be mates" Tom shrugged and Aaron narrowed his eyes at him as he tried to figure him out.

"Uh…yeah…yeah alright"

"Great" Tom smiled. "Oh you better get that cleaned up" he said as he pointed right at him.

Aaron nodded with a hint of a smile, he hadn't forgotten the blood and he didn't take what Tom said offensively at all. "Yeah I know, cheers"

"No worries see you around Aaron" he told him as he walked off himself.

Aaron walked back into Smithy after he'd calmed down and Jackson walked through to the kitchen and immediately saw his bloodied face. "Aaron? Babe what happened?" Jackson asked and Aaron turned the tap on to rinse his face. "Carl" he told him before rubbing his face with his wet hands.

"Carl!" Jackson exclaimed.

"Yeah, he err, he started with his mouth, I got up to go at him but he got me first…" Aaron told him with a shrug as he reached for the t-towel. "Is it all off?" Jackson nodded. "Good" Aaron continued and dried his face. "I was angry, I was going round his again but that kid at the garage, Tom…well I dunno what he did but he stopped me and I came back here, is your mum still here?"

"Yeah he seems an alright lad, yeah she's in the living room"

Aaron nodded. "Listen, I thought aswell as counselling maybe it would be a good idea if I could go to a support group? What do you think?"

Jackson grinned. "That sounds like a great idea babe, I'm proud of you, it's a big step"

Aaron nodded with a smile. "And I might go back to work too, Tom was asking after me and I dunno maybe it's about time, I can't rattle around here all day, every day"

"As long as you're, ready?"

"I am" Aaron smiled. "I'm sorry about before I couldn't take the arguing that's all"

"It's alright, I'm sorry too but me and my mum have talked and we're both a lot calmer now too"

"That's good, and like I said I am mad but it's done now and she's obviously sorry"

"Yeah, I have to agree there, she really is"

Aaron nodded. "Right well I'll be in, in a minute I'm just gunna ring Dan and see if he knows about any groups, he has too though right?"

Jackson stepped up to Aaron and wrapped his arms around him. "I'd assume so he's a HIV specialist" Jackson said before kissing him on his forehead. "I love you Aaron"

"I love you too" Aaron replied and kissed him back softly. "Now get off so I can make this call"

"And if I don't want too?" Jackson asked with a smirk.

"Oi you behave your mums just in there…calm yourself till later"

Jackson chuckled. "Is that an invitation?"

"Obviously" Aaron replied bluntly with a smile as he stared into Jackson's eyes. A moment passed as they simply stared into each other's eyes then Jackson nodded gently and let go before kissing him again. "I'll let you make your call"

Aaron watched him go with a smile on his face then pulled out his phone and started dialling Dan's number.

* * *

**TBC…**


	27. The Things I Can't Tell You

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"The Things I Can't Tell You"**

* * *

When he'd called Dan he told Aaron about the support group at Hotten community centre every Wednesday afternoon, Aaron told him he'd go and Dan had been really impressed and supportive himself because he'd taken it upon himself to make that decision, Aaron had quipped back with. "I'd rather just talk to you though" which Dan understood and he felt sorry for him but he told him "I know Aaron but there'll be other people there in the same position as you and it would be a good chance to talk about stuff you wouldn't normally because they'd have gone through it too" Aaron understood that and let Dan get back to work.

And now, it was Wednesday afternoon and he was there. The room was bare, white painted walls with a few posters on it to advertise other events and a cold hard floor with chairs on it like the ones from school, all set out to make a circle. Aaron blew out a breath and looked around at the other HIV sufferers sat around him. Nervousness was not the word to express how he felt. He hung his head as the nervousness consumed him, he rubbed his clammy hands together slowly and he averted his eyes but he looked up curiously and his eyes met another young lad who smiled at him, Aaron nervously smiled back, he hadn't seen him before but Jackson had at the clinic. When the sound of the door opening Aaron looked over and he couldn't help but smile when it was actually Dan, he frowned aswell obviously but it made him feel more at ease, why was he there?

"Afternoon everybody" Dan spoke. "For the few new people here I don't need to introduce myself as we're already familiar…" he smiled. "And I can tell by your face Aaron" he spoke with a smirk. "You're surprised; well I expected that, some of the people here are who I help at the clinic, but not all. I give up my spare time to run this meeting so you glad you came now?"

Aaron smirked and nodded his head and chuckles from some of the others could be heard.

"Ah it's only natural you feel nervous, regulars do even now with new people attending, it's all only natural" Dan told them with a smile as he sat down in front of them all. "So what we do here Aaron and Steve" he began and looked between Aaron and the other lad Steve who Aaron had previously acknowledged with a smile. "Is we listen, basically and understand each other's situation, the way you all feel and when we feel we want too we can jump in and speak, everyone understands here so however you feel, whatever happens in this group, you can burst into tears and it's completely fine, we're all here to offer support and to help you understand what's happening"

Aaron and Steve both nodded at the same time.

"So" Dan smiled. "Which one of you two wants to tell your story to the group?"

Aaron's head was hung and he closed his eyes and bit his lip and he heard a nervous "I will" come from Steve.

"In your own time" Dan told him and Aaron looked up and listened.

Steve blew out a deep breath. "Well what can I say…I'm nineteen, I don't have anyone around me, I fell out with my family a few years back and I've been on my own since, I struggled but I got myself a flat and a good well paid job so lifestyle wise I'm alright...I'm sorted you know"

Aaron nodded gently as did a lot of the other group, it was an incredible mixed set of people, black, white, young, middle aged, men and women, Aaron immediately felt so stupid for being surprised, he really hadn't a clue. 0

"And I'm gay" Steve continued with a sigh. "and I knew before that it didn't just happen to gays, a-and sitting here now well I feel better for actually seeing other people who aren't who suffer with this disease...but anyway yeah I'm gay and I made a mistake, I fell in love" he scoffed. "Or at least I thought I did and I trusted my boyfriend, obviously ex now…" he stopped and blew out a breath. "I-I'm sorry, I'm a bit nervous" he breathed out and from five chairs away Aaron watched as the thirty something woman beside Steve placed her hand on his leg and she reassured him that it was okay.

A few seconds passed and he continued. "I trusted him and he told me he was clean…now I realise we should have gotten tested together before we had sex without the condom but we didn't, I thought I was in love, I trusted him enough so we did it and it's got me here…whether he knew himself or not I don't know, I told him to get out of my life and he certainly did and I suppose without Dan's help lately and now you lot I would be alone, I guess that's changed now"

Dan nodded with a smile. "It has and I'm happy to be a help to you and I'm sure the rest of you do too" the others nodded with a smile then Aaron groaned mentally, Dan was now turning to him. "Aaron?"

Aaron nodded and cleared his throat; he wanted to get it over with. "I'm gay too" he told them all. "And I'm a recovering cocaine addict and I got this disease because I relapsed and recklessly had unprotected sex with a random" he shook his head and put his head in his hands.

"It's alright" Dan comforted.

"So that's why I'm here basically" Aaron continued. "I have family and a very patient and caring boyfriend by my side and Steve" he said and turned to look over at him. "I-I'm really sorry that you don't…I'm your age and I couldn't imagine being alone right now, hell I'm struggling as it is with them around, I can't begin to imagine what you're going through"

"Thank you, Aaron" Steve told him gratefully, he thought Aaron's words were kind and very considerate and he appreciated them.

"You're brave" Aaron added and Steve simply smiled back then lowered his head reflecting on those words.

"Everyone struggles mate but I doubt recovering from drug addiction isn't helping with it all either" the lad in his late twenties sat next to Aaron told him and he turned to him and shook his head.

"Not one bit mate no, I feel so angry that I'm going to explode, I-I've erm…pretended I'm okay the last few days and sometimes I am because of Jackson, my boyfriend…w-we made love together and it was amazing, he understands but I can't understand, part of me right now thinks I deserved this or something, a punishment for something that right now I can't figure out, I'm so scared, so scared that I don't sleep and I'm wide awake but during the day I'm just like a zombie, calm…well calm when I don't have some guy who hates me spewing abuse at me that is"

"Abuse?" Steve asked.

Aaron shrugged it off. "Ah it's nothing, my mum's ex, we've never got on, I've always hated him, the feelings mutual"

"Still that's not right" the lad beside him spoke.

"Sorry what's your name?" Aaron asked.

"Liam" he told him.

Aaron nodded. "No it isn't right Liam but what he said was true and one thing he told me almost made me do something stupid"

"What was it love?" the woman who comforted Steve asked.

Aaron blew out a breath. "He told me that I'm a waste of my mum and Jackson's time because I'd be dead soon enough anyway"

Dan had to grit his teeth and he shook his head. "A typical response from a typical uneducated prat mate, yes I will be honest people do die from AIDS but none of you are likely to get to that stage, medication will keep you all healthy until your life ends naturally, like I told you Aaron you can live a full normal life, do not listen to idiots like him"

Aaron nodded. "Still, he told me to just finish myself off now…and the thought did enter my mind" he admitted shamefully and hung his head.

"Well you aren't the only person in this group to admit that let me tell you" Dan replied, but he wasn't worried because like the rest there Aaron was due counselling soon which could address that.

"Dan's right Aaron" Liam spoke. "We've all thought that but it's not the end"

"Yeah I know, it's just so hard and I'm scared"

* * *

**TBC…**


	28. Deterioration

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"Deterioration"**

* * *

It was his third day back at the garage, the first two had gone well, Cain had seemed to soften a bit but Aaron wasn't going to say anything about it, it was nice and definitely a change when it came to his uncle. Tom helped him adjust back into the work which he was grateful for, it wasn't as if he'd forgotten he was just a bit rusty and unsure of himself, things still played heavily on his mind naturally which caused his attention to waver slightly but the young lad was always checking he was alright, Aaron felt bad for treating him the way he had months before, he didn't deserve it but then again, none of them did. Well except Carl.

Since his support group meeting over a week ago now he had become friends with Steve, it came about initially because Aaron had felt sorry for the lonely lad but as the days went on it turned out he realised how good a lad he was, a good mate, they talked about stuff which Aaron knew should have been shared with Jackson but he just couldn't despite feeling like he was going behind his back and the guilt he felt because of it. He could trust Jackson and know he would listen but Steve was in the same boat as him, he would completely understand whereas Jackson couldn't fully understand the situation, he couldn't possibly no matter how many times he told Aaron otherwise. Which he had done a lot lately but Aaron had clammed up on each occasion and he couldn't speak, they both then went about their days separately, causing somewhat of a strained atmosphere when they both got home in the evenings.

Aaron's mood was less than happy but he wasn't going to take it out on Cain and Tom, he walked around the corner and up the forecourt to see them both standing taking a break, he'd been told to start later than them, a way to break him back into it gently, it was almost half twelve and he wasn't due to start till one but the quicker he was out of the house lately the better, especially when Jackson was off which today he was.

"Hey up here he is" Cain said quietly and nudged Tom in the process.

Tom looked up and smiled. "Alright mate?"

Aaron put on a smile and nodded.

"You're early kid" Cain told him as Aaron carried on walking through into the garage.

"Yeah, yeah I-…I'll make myself a cuppa or something"

"Jackson's company not good enough?" Cain asked and from the unit where the kettle stood Aaron frowned and swallowed hard. "Yeah course it is!" he called back. "I just needed to get out the house"

The conversation ended there and Aaron heard them start discussing the rest of the work, as the kettle boiled he just looked around waiting and his eyes found what looked like a new, larger advanced first aid kit hanging up on the back wall. He rolled his eyes, coincidence? He didn't think so. A few minutes later Aaron was stood in the same spot drinking his tea alone until Cain walked over. "If you don't feel like it today you can always just come back tomorrow"

"I did two days Cain, I'm alright"

Cain sighed as he nodded his head. "Yeah I know mate but you don't seem alright today, well you never do but you have reasons but you seem to be getting worse"

Aaron blew out a deep breath and nodded as he started down into his tea. "I-I don't know whether it's me, Jackson or both of us but it's all different now…"

Cain frowned. "Different?"

"Yeah you know…sex stuff…"

"Well a little bird told me you two had done it"

"Yeah we did but it's like it didn't happen, it's me isn't it?"

Cain nodded. "Probably kid, the impression I'm getting is that you two aren't speaking, that won't help anything so this thing with you two, you love him yeah?"

"Yeah course I do, so much" Aaron replied quickly.

"Stop pushing him away then, this is hard enough for him as it is you"

Aaron sighed. "Nice fancy new first aid kit eh?"

Cain rolled his eyes and sighed. "I care that's why…and I'm prepared, this isn't a safe job, things nip, scratch and cut our hands and arms every day you know that, it's as much for your safety as it is ours, if a cut of yours gets infected then…"

"Yeah I know" Aaron cut in. "Immune systems already plummeting as it is right?"

Cain nodded as he looked on sympathetically.

"Done your research then?" Aaron asked with a smirk.

"Oh yeah, Debbie's on at me to tidy up the leaflets and booklets I've got"

Aaron chuckled and shook his head. "Well I appreciate it"

"I know you do how about we uh…we change a set of tyres, together? Not cause you can't I just thought we could spend some time together"

Aaron smiled and gave his uncle a nod and as they walked out onto the forecourt Aaron spoke. "You don't have to be nicer you know"

"I know but things are put into perspective and this has been one of those times, can't take who you have for granted and treat them like crap"

Aaron stopped at the side of Cain when they got to the car. "You never treat me like crap, you're my boss at the end of the day and sometimes you just had to be firm and I deserved the outbursts from you most of the time"

"But, not anymore you're going through enough shit at the minute lad, from now on when it comes to you I'm a new Cain" he told him with a grin.

"Alright, well I'll give it a week"

Cain chuckled and nudged his shoulder. "Cheeky sod"

Aaron laughed but it faded when he watched Jackson walking toward him. He groaned and knelt down quickly and started to wheel the car jack into place.

Jackson stopped with a firm expression on his face and looked down at Aaron. "Can we talk?"

"No, not really I'm busy"

"Right well, when you get home?"

Aaron looked up as he shook his head. "Won't have time, got to quickly get changed and meet Steve at bar west…you'll have to wait"

Jackson scoffed. "Until you get in yeah" he told him bluntly then shook his head and walked off. Cain then knelt down beside Aaron. "I for one certainly couldn't feel any love coming from you right there"

Aaron scowled. "Don't dare lecture me on relationships you're hardly one to talk"

…

It had gone eight pm by the time Aaron got to bar west, it was a Wednesday so it wasn't busy, music was playing in the background and a few tables were taken up but plenty were still left vacant. When he'd walked in he was going to head straight to the bar but Steve had collared him already and waved him over, Aaron smiled and walked over to the booth and sat next to him. "Alright mate?"

Steve nodded with a smile. "Yeah feeling better mate, thanks to you"

"Why me?"

"You've helped me a lot"

"Good" Aaron smiled. "At least I'm good for something eh?"

Steve frowned as he picked up his pint. "Why? What's wrong?"

"Ah nothing mate" Aaron said in a sigh and rubbed his face. "Just work today and home it's just getting to me"

"Wanna talk about it?" Steve asked as he moved closer a bit and put his hand on his shoulder. "I'm your mate, Aaron" he reminded him to which Aaron nodded.

"I got stuck with something at work and Cain and Tom took over, and I knew how to do it, but it wasn't happening, got all frustrated to the point Cain had to calm me down, then I go home and bear in mind I told him I wouldn't have time to talk Jackson jumps down my throat about stuff"

"What stuff?"

"That I'm ignoring the issue, yeah hardly I'm the one living it mate not you" he told him with a mock reply and shook his head.

"At least he's there mate"

"I know but he doesn't leave it, he never does with anything, he thinks I have to talk about every single thing and I don't, I will when I chose to, not when he demands"

"Like I said he's still there" Steve told him and looked away. "I don't have anyone Aaron you know that, when I told my family it was like I was coming out again but it was much worse, they could just barely handle the fact I was gay, but when I told them I was HIV positive they heartlessly told me to leave, I-I don't know why anyone could do it but they did"

Aaron sighed. "Ah mate I know you're alone and I couldn't help myself whinging could I? I'm really sorry"

"No don't be" Steve flashed a smile through teary eyes and they were both unaware of Jackson watching from the doorway.

"Don't cry mate"

Steve nodded and wiped his eyes. "I just miss them; I'm not as strong as I look"

Aaron then pulled him into a hug. "Well you fooled me cause you're one of the strongest people I know" he told him as he soothed him.

Jackson angrily gritted his teeth and stormed out, from his view it looked like something a lot different to what was actually going on. He liked Steve, he really did and had embraced him into his life but that, what he had just witnessed was not happening, not a chance.

Steve pulled away and smiled gratefully at Aaron. "So you have somebody who loves you Aaron, talk to him, let him in, I could tell he loved you when I saw him with you at the clinic before you saw Dan, he obviously cares about you and is scared himself, what we have to remember is that we aren't the only people affected, don't push him away because of your own fear, you'll hate yourself even more than you do now"

Aaron nodded and he left it there, he had a lot to think about but they enjoyed the rest of their night, drinking, chatting and they met up with some other people Steve had gotten to know, they seemed alright, a good laugh but the time came for Aaron to face Jackson.

When Aaron got back to the village he was drunk, relaxed and quite content. He pushed open the front door to Smithy to see Jackson sat at the kitchen table in silence, when he turned to close the door behind him he swayed and fell against the wall but recovered quickly and walked into the kitchen. "Hi"

Jackson rolled his eyes. "Oh got time for me have ya?"

Aaron sighed. "It wasn't like that, I had plans and I was at work earlier"

"Oh yeah I saw what your plans consisted of"

"You followed me tonight?"

Jackson nodded as he quickly got to his feet. "And I wish I hadn't!" he yelled before storming off to the living room.

Aaron frowned and quickly followed him. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked as he stopped in the doorway and watched as Jackson paced quickly.

"You and Steve looking very cosy that's what I meant! Can't talk or spend time with me but you will with him though right!" Jackson yelled, he was way beyond angry.

"What? He's a mate Jackson, and yeah I can talk to him, for obvious reasons"

"But why not me hmm? Come on you must know why!"

"Because I can't Jackson, you don't understand"

"Don't understand? What that this is emotionally destroying you? Well guess what me too!" he raged as he stormed over to him.

Aaron sighed and looked away. "Yeah and it's a lot more complicated"

"Oh and I don't know that? Come on Aaron I've read everything I possibly can! My eyes are wide open to everything that could go wrong but I won't let it, so I-if you're scared for me don't because I will be careful"

"And what if you're not, accidentally something happens?" he asked with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Then at least I'll know I was safe and I'd live with it just like you are!"

"That's absolutely ridiculous!" Aaron raged and stormed away from him.

"And so is opening up your options Aaron…Steve eh…you and him would be perfect wouldn't you…you already know that…what with both of ya…ya know…" Jackson spoke bitterly and at the same time his expression was one of disgust but he had no idea he had done it but it was too late Aaron had saw it and the stony look on his face said it all.

"Excuse me?" Aaron asked quietly, it was like he'd been kicked in the chest. "So what you think I've been spending more time with him to see if there's an attraction so I can trade you in for him because it's easier and convenient?"

Jackson bit his lip and hung his head as he shook it. "I-I didn't mean that"

"Then there was that look on your face" Aaron told him and stood firmly and put his hands on his waist and watched him.

"What look?" Jackson asked with a frown as he looked back at him.

"A one of complete disgust…I want you to get out, I don't care where you go I want you out right now"

"No…Aaron come on…" Jackson pleaded as he stepped closer but Aaron backed off making him stop his advance.

Tears that he'd prevented from falling were now dropping from his eyes, Aaron shook his head. "Of all the people I thought would be disgusted at me, I never thought it would be you, your true feelings are out now Jackson"

"What? When I made love to you Aaron, the HIV didn't even come into it, I love you"

"No, no you're just like Carl!"

Jackson frowned. "I'm nothing like him!"

"Oh really?"

"Yes really" Jackson told him.

"I couldn't talk to you because yes I am scared for you Jackson, any time I hurt myself or anytime we have sex…" he sighed. "It's all a risk and I was not seeing Steve more as an option, he's an alright looking lad yeah but I'd never do that to you! You should know that! He's alone Jackson and now we're mates"

"Alright I-I'm sorry Aaron, I really am…"

"No" Aaron stood his ground. "I know how you really feel now…get out I'm done with this now"

"Done?"

Aaron had already made his move to storm to the kitchen when Jackson replied. "Done, finished, ended whatever you wanna call it, that's what we are!"

Jackson panicked, he couldn't imagine his life without him, he had to fix this and quickly, he ran into the kitchen and followed. "Don't Jackson, don't you dare, it was short and sweet and we tried, how the hell can I live and be with you now knowing how you feel"

"You haven't got a clue how I feel Aaron cause your never around to bother caring!" Jackson shot back.

"I saw the look on your face! It told me all I needed too"

"A-Aaron I love you, you're spinning things just calm down and listen…"

"I don't have to calm down at all mate I'm telling you to get out, we are done!" Aaron yelled before walking to the door and flinging it open. "NOW!" he screamed and sure enough there were a few people leaving the pub, able to hear it all.

"Aaron come on this is ridiculous!"

"This is my house and my life and I don't want you in either get out, get your stuff when I'm at the garage tomorrow!"

"Hey lads what's going on?" Adam asked as he ran up with Chas and Marlon.

"Jackson's leaving" Aaron told them as his chest rose and fell rapidly as he held the door open for him.

"After everything I've done for you!"

"Yep and it's all gone in a single look! Who'd have thought? Get out before I make you leave"

Jackson sighed.

"Aaron love, why don't you just calm down eh?" Chas tried to calm him.

"No I won't calm down, you don't know what's just gone on keep out of it" he told her harshly then turned to Jackson.

"Come on mate it can't be that bad" Marlon added but just received a scowl from Aaron.

"You've got five seconds Jackson; I can't even look at you"

Chas sighed and nodded at Jackson. "We're not gunna get anywhere tonight, come on love just come back to the pub for the night"

"For the night? Gunna be there a lot longer than that" Aaron snapped as Jackson walked out.

"Sort yourself out and fast" Jackson told him. "I'm not going anywhere"

"And you think I'm gunna give you the time of day now, might aswell go see if Carls got a spare bed, I'm sure he has"

Jackson gritted his teeth as he shook his head then was led away by Chas.

"It's alright I'll stay" Adam quietly told Marlon before walking into the house and shutting the door, making it clear to Aaron he wasn't going anywhere.

"Are you off your head?"

"Oh shut up Adam you haven't got a clue" Aaron spat back nastily as he stormed through to the kitchen.

"Well then tell me!"

"All you need to know is that me and Jackson are finished, end of…can?"

Adam sighed and nodded. "I think you've made the worst mistake of your life"

"Really?" Aaron scoffed as he opened the fridge. "Cause I don't think so" he told him as he handed Adam a can and he cracked his open and held it slightly in the air. "Cheers" he grinned then walked away leaving Adam stunned.

* * *

**TBC…**


	29. Me Without You?

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"Me Without You?"**

* * *

Aaron woke up with a splitting headache, the first thing he did was call Cain and he told him he wasn't going into work but Cain had already been filled in on the previous night's events and told Aaron that aswell and that it was fine and for him to go back when he was ready. Aaron was grateful and thanked him then ended the call and got up out of bed, after he kicked Jackson out he downed plenty of alcohol and he was certainly paying for it now. He walked into the kitchen in just his trackies and Adam was standing making breakfast and Aaron didn't bat an eyelid. "Morning" he croaked as he rubbed his eyes.

"Morning mate rough?" Adam asked.

"Dog rough mate" he grimaced as he sat at the table but got back up again when there was a knock on the door. He opened it quickly to see Jackson walking away then he saw a bunch of flowers with a note on the doorstep. Aaron scowled and reached down and grabbed them. Angrily and barefooted he walked down the garden over the paving and flung them onto the road. "Since when do I _do _flowers!" he yelled angrily then stormed back. "Not good enough!"

Jackson sighed and turned back. "So I have a chance at making it up to you do I?" he called up to him.

Aaron stopped and turned again. "Go to hell" and with that he stormed back inside and slammed the door and growled in frustration as Adam placed down a cup of tea for him on the table.

"Look mate I know what he said and did was out of order but he will have been as frustrated as you lately, things just get on top of people you know"

"Yeah and he won't be getting on top of me again let me tell ya" Aaron replied quickly as he slumped down into the chair. "Who the hell does he think he is? Saying that last night as well as the look of disgust then thinks it's alright to put a poxy bunch of flowers on the doorstep" Aaron stopped himself and sighed. "You know what Adam, I don't care anymore I've got enough to sort out without having him around"

"I still think you're making a mistake mate"

"Yeah well, I still stand by my reply to that, I don't think I have, let's just be quiet for a bit eh? My heads bangin'"

After about ten minutes peace and quiet Adam looked up from the newspaper. "You at the clinic again today mate? Saw something on the calendar"

"Ah shit yeah I forgot about that, I better get ready" he told him then got up.

"I'll take ya mate, I don't mind"

"You sure?" Aaron asked with a smile.

"Yeah course, we're best mates still right?"

"What do you mean _still_?" Aaron asked with a smirk.

"Oh I dunno, the fact I've seen you with another lad lately"

Aaron chuckled and rolled his eyes. "You always have been and always shall be my best mate, now grow some balls and get over yourself" he told him then headed up the stairs, laughing as he did so.

…

Aaron paced the waiting area while chewing on his fingers. Adam found it quite amusing. "You're gunna wear out the carpet"

Aaron looked at him and rolled his eyes. "He always does this you know"

"And you've been once before now" Adam told him with a frown

"Not the point, he did this last time and it's going to be a thing he does I can tell"

"Alright" Adam said with a smirk. "And what's this thing then?"

"Making me wait, that's what, get me all nervous, my stomach in knots then he'll come out all cool and calm and speak with that sexy voice of his telling me I'm doing alright then that'll be it"

Adam burst into laughter and shook his head. "Maybe you should try being cool and calm mate and just sit down"

Aaron sighed and forced himself to sit down.

"Sexy voice eh? Aaron Livesy behave yourself" Dan spoke happily as he rounded the corner to the waiting area

Aaron was mortified and he flushed. "Oh. My. God"

Dan laughed. "You're alright, come on then what you waiting for?"

Aaron rolled his eyes in disbelief as he got up to follow Dan. "You actually" he told him, he had to get the last word in.

…

"I'll have another please Chas"

Chas stood with one hand on her hip and the other on the bar just looking at him. "It's too early don't you think? One, yeah alright but going onto four now Jackson, love come on this isn't you"

"Well I'm not me without him so just give me another, please?"

Chas sighed. "If I give you one more, you'll drink it then go straight through to the back and sleep, I heard you during the night, up and about"

Jackson shook his head. "I can't waste time sleeping, I have to get him back, he's at the clinic right now and I should be there supporting him"

"Yeah I know he is"

"Why aren't you there?"

"Because he's a big boy, he knows I'm here for him when he needs me, see love…I've slowly learned that hounding him isn't the answer"

Jackson sighed. "Don't, please…I know alright…I do"

"Well if you knew that love why did you hound him to talk knowing full well he wouldn't then go and start world war three because you jumped to conclusions over what you saw in bar west?" she asked him quickly. "And in my son's defence I do understand his point, from what you told me last night about him saying he could talk to Steve, I mean come on Jackson of course he can, that young lad is in exactly the same position as him, we…all of us can only understand so much, and when we can't, pushing for him to talk doesn't work"

Jackson hung his head and nodded.

"Right, I will pull you this pint and then you will go into the back and get some sleep, try again when you're a bit more awake…and sober would help too"

"Alright, fine"

"Good" Chas smiled and moved to grab a clean glass and then back to the pump to pull his pint.

…

Over an hour had passed before Aaron emerged from the office with a very pale face; Adam quickly jumped up and looked between Dan and Aaron. "W-What's going on?"

"I'll uh…I'll tell you in the car, we need to go to the pharmacy mate"

"Ph-Pharmacy? What already?"

Dan simply nodded as did Aaron and he started walking to the door.

"No, no come on this isn't happening"

"I'm just as shocked as you" Dan told him. "It's hitting him pretty hard and fast, his blood count was lower than normal initially but yeah I'm surprised myself, we just spent the entire time discussing medication…after consoling him of course, this is a change that he has to adhere to, it's only one pill but if it's not taken at the right time or missed it can cause complications later so tell his family make them aware because I don't think he's able to grasp it right it now"

Adam nodded quickly. "Y-Yeah, course…thanks doctor" he told him then quickly rushed out after Aaron. When he'd caught up to him he grabbed Aaron's arm and pulled him to a stop in the middle of the car park. "I shouldn't be here for this Aaron, its Jackson…it's always been Jackson!"

"Not anymore! I appreciate what you're trying to do but me and him are over Adam"

"No you're just being stubborn, you need him now more than ever, Jesus mate can't you see that, he made a mistake you can forgive him for that surely?"

Aaron bit his lower lip and shook his head.

"But he could forgive you for hitting him twice and all the other hurt yeah? Nice Aaron, nice"

"I disgust him" Aaron reminded him. "I can't be with someone who thinks that way about me can I?"

"So…what, what exactly are you going to do now?"

Aaron took in a deep breath of fresh air. "I'm going to walk to the car, get in it, and you're going to take me to the pharmacy so I can pick up my month worth of medication"

Adam sighed. "You two have been through too much to let it go now"

"He made his feelings pretty clear last night Adam, I know I've still got you and my mum but I'm pretty much alone and I'll do this alone, I'm not dependant on him anymore…you know it's weird I never thought I'd say that, I needed him constantly at one point, now that's changed"

"You don't always need the one you love" Adam told him.

"Hmm…that's the bit I've got to get over, the love part…because even in my messed up head, how I was at times I did love him but I'll live, gone through worse right?"

"You're moving a bit too fast mate"

"No" Aaron chuckled. "I'm slowing down mate, I can feel it, today's news makes other things in life seem unimportant, I'm best off alone, it wasn't going anywhere anyway"

"You know that's not true"

"Don't assume you know what I think Adam alright, he stayed with me out of pity, scared I'd go back onto drugs and he put on a damned good act if you ask me, sleeping next to and having sex with someone he despised…wow…good eh?" Aaron replied with a neutral expression then started walking to the car again.

The drive to the pharmacy then back to the house was a silent affair. When they walked into Smithy Adam snatched the bag containing the box of medication from Aaron and sat down at the table and pulled out the box and read the label, then pulled out the leaflet inside. Aaron put the kettle on while Adam read the information. After a while Adam spoke. "So some of the side effects feel very weak or tired, having unusual muscle pain, trouble breathing, stomach pain with nausea and vomiting, feeling cold, especially in your arms and legs, feel dizzy or lightheaded and a possibility of a fast or irregular heartbeat"

"Yeah Dan went through those, if I experience them I have to call him straight away"

Adam nodded. "It also says that if you are sick within the first hour of taking it you can repeat the dose but you must not if you're sick one hour after you've taken it, got that?"

"Yep" Aaron said with a smile. "And I take it on an empty stomach, the same time every night, and preferably bed time, so that'll be probably about half eleven…see I've got it mate, I know what I'm doing"

"With this you do yeah" Adam told him with a frown.

"Don't start about Jackson again; I'm not in the mood"

"Well someone has to try and get through to ya"

"But don't, I'll be fine without him, speaking of don't you have work to do"

Adam nodded. "And you'll be alright?"

"Yep, gunna curl up on the sofa with a DVD"

"Right then I'll leave you to it" Adam told him as he got up from the chair. "I'll ring ya later yeah"

"Sure, see ya mate and thanks for taking me"

"Anytime" Adam told him with a smile before heading out.

…

The rest of the day was peaceful, some alone time accompanied by the cast of characters on whatever Aaron had spent the rest of the day watching as he lay on the sofa. Obviously in the privacy of his home his stubborn streak faded and he thought about Jackson a lot, he missed him but how could he forgive what he did? Should he, just because Jackson forgave him for all the things he'd done? He hadn't a clue, his head was a mess and he was just going round in circles. When the time came he made himself something to eat, and he'd managed not to burn it either which was progress for him. He ate and after had a shower and realised Jackson had made no further attempts, part of him was glad that he hadn't, the other part of him hated that he hadn't and he started delving into why, and it only reaffirmed that Jackson really must be disgusted by him. He sighed and lazily locked all the doors after returning downstairs from his shower then settled back onto the couch with his drink and watched the soaps, he didn't normally but he enjoyed them they took his mind off things for a couple of hours at least.

When bed time came he took up a glass of water with him and he stripped and flung his clothes onto the chest of drawers and took his medication box in his hand and pondered for a few minutes before taking a foil slip out and cracking one open, the tablet was quite large but manageable, he guessed they had to be. He stared down at it for a second or two before taking a deep breath and putting it in his mouth then he swallowed it down with some water. He wiped his mouth and placed the glass down before lifting his legs and putting them under the quilt as he pulled it up over his chest. He turned his head to the empty side of the bed and sighed quietly before reaching over to the lamp to turn it off.

Over in the woolpack Jackson lay in bed thinking about him, how much he needed to prove to Aaron that he didn't disgust him one bit and that in fact the mere sight of him turned him on and made his heart race. He rubbed his face in the dark in frustration, he loved him and he could never stop, he needed to prove that to him once more, he'd try tomorrow he told himself and he certainly would. He had never meant to say those things, it was strange what the emotion of anger could make someone say or do…he just lashed out, using Steve as an excuse, a real person and a situation for Jackson to place and air his insecurities, then there was the apparent look, he never realised but Aaron wouldn't have flipped the way he had, had he not gave him such a look. But now after having time to think Jackson knew it was again the anger over his feelings over what he thought Aaron was doing with Steve manifested into an expression, he hated the idea of Aaron going off with someone else, HIV positive or not. That disgusted him. Not the disease that was raging within his boyfriend and that was the truth.

Aaron had drifted a little but at the same time was half awake and he had been in bed over an hour now and he wasn't about to get to sleep just yet because an overwhelming sickness came over him and he bolted up and out of the bed and ran across the landing to the bathroom and fell to his knees in front of the toilet, just in time as the vomit charged out from his mouth. It left him exhausted and in pain, the jerking of his neck and throat, the spasms in his stomach, it all hurt and he was hunched up against the closed door. He tiredly sighed and suddenly burst into tears. He wanted Jackson.

* * *

**TBC…**


	30. Amazing

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"Amazing"**

* * *

_**Guest – Any more shit from you and your opinions will be removed.**_

* * *

_Aaron, _

_Well I'm guessing you don't 'do' letters either but it's tough you will read this even if I have to sit on you, hold this with my teeth and hold your head whilst making sure this is the only thing you can see._

_Right; now hopefully I have your attention. _

_It's been a bloody week Aaron, you've blanked me in the village, ignored my calls and when I've come round the house you slam the door in my face then when I try at the garage you carry on like I'm not there well I'm telling you one thing right now I am here, I've always been here and do you know why? For you because I fucking love you a part of me thinks you can't grasp that one bit, that someone actually gives a shit about you, well you're gunna have to start grasping a lot of things because I won't stop loving you and I'm not going away either. _

_You threw me out because of one look I made. I'm going to explain that very look right now. The look of disgust was the thought of you being with someone else and that's it. That's all the explanation I'm giving and it's an honest one and if you had bothered to let me explain then we wouldn't be apart right now. _

_Before you threw me out you made me feel like crap, you didn't let me anywhere near ya in bed, or anywhere to be honest at any time of the day and at first it was like ok you're going through stuff which I knew but eventually it made me ask myself what had I done, what was wrong with me and then I find you hugging Steve, and I have nothing against Steve Aaron I don't, I'm pleased you've got someone in the same boat as you but I hope now you understand why I flipped the way I did when you got home that night, you couldn't touch me but you would him…you know?_

_I just wish you'd give back because there's only so much I can give I'm only human, a man who's fallen in love with a bloody lost soul and I'm struggling Aaron, I really am but even now I see there's someone worth saving. _

_LET ME IN! _

_J x _

Tear drops had fallen onto the letter but it would have to do, Jackson blew out a deep breath as he wiped his eyes and then he folded the piece of paper and forced it into an envelope and got up from the kitchen table and grabbed his jacket, it was almost midnight but he had to take it. He quietly left the pub out of the back door and locked it behind him.

The village was so quiet making his footsteps seem like thunder as he walked round onto Main Street and up to Smithy. When he got there he saw the landing light was on and he knocked, he would have if the house was in darkness, Aaron had to read the letter regardless. Seconds' later blackness blocked out the light filtering down the stairs and he heard Aaron's unmistakable thuds coming down the stairs. Jackson waited as the door was being unlocked and then it opened and he frowned at the sight of Aaron, he looked pale and he'd lost weight and he'd been crying too.

"It's almost midnight Jackson, what do you want?" Aaron asked tiredly.

"Oh, so you aren't slamming it in my face now are ya? Good" he told him and marched in and turned the kitchen light on as he entered.

"Jackson" Aaron groaned as he followed him in the kitchen. "I don't have the energy for this right now"

"Fair enough but you have time so sit down"

"Why?" Aaron asked with a hint of frustration.

"Because I said so!" Jackson told him with a glare then calmed down. "J-Just humour me yeah?"

Aaron sighed and rolled his eyes as he walked to the table and pulled out a chair and sat down. "Right, what?" he asked bluntly.

Jackson pulled out the envelope from his pocket and put it down on the table in front of him. "It's for you and I want you to read it right now"

"Eh?" Aaron was confused. "You've come here at this time to give me a sodding letter?"

"Yeah ten out of ten for observation, consider me Mr Postman, just read the damned letter will ya?"

Aaron harshly opened the envelope while glaring up at Jackson. Jackson sighed and shook his head. "Stop being so childish"

"Come to have a go now have ya? Might aswell, though I'm surprised you're here if I disgust you so much"

Jackson literally growled and flung his arms out. "READ THE LETTER! God!" he trailed off as he stormed into the living room.

Aaron watched him go and without another word he pulled out the sheet of paper and started to read it.

Jackson waited ten minutes before Aaron walked into the living room. "It doesn't take ten minutes to read that" he told him quietly.

"I know" Aaron replied equally as quiet. "I needed to think"

"And what have you thought about that letter then?" Jackson asked whilst avoiding looking at him.

Aaron sighed and looked up to the ceiling as tears ran down his cheeks. "Not so much the letter, a-about me really"

Jackson heard Aaron sniffle when he'd stopped talking but he didn't go to him, as much as he wanted to. "And?"

"That I'm a dick" Aaron admitted as he started to sob a little.

"Yeah you are Aaron, and you're an idiot"

"I know" he replied sadly as he hung his head.

"I-I dunno if you've noticed and not that I did it on purpose cause I didn't, I just realised when I'd finished, but did I mention your HIV once in that letter?" Jackson asked then turned to face him, finally.

Aaron shook his head as he bit his lip.

"Right, tell me why?"

"You tell me, it was from you" Aaron blurted.

Jackson rolled his eyes. "Seriously you can't help yourself can ya? Tell me!"

Aaron started to pace and sighed before replying. "Because it doesn't matter to you"

"It doesn't Aaron"

"But it does to me!" he raised his voice as he cried then he stopped and faced him. "It does to me!"

"I know" Jackson told him while looking right at him. "But what you need to know and I think you've finally realised is that I don't care what you have, you're still you and I love you, I am sorry for the way I flipped out I just couldn't lose you Aaron and that's all I thought when I saw that hug"

Aaron nodded and relented; he walked to the sofa and sat next to him. "I'd never cheat on you; I thought that would have been known without saying"

"Well…sometimes Aaron people need to hear it"

"And I've told you" Aaron replied calmly with a nod of his head.

"You have to let me in babe, you've got to otherwise our life together will be very short lived and lonely for the both of us"

"I don't want that"

"Me either so what you going to do about it?"

"Jackson…I don't feel well…please can this wait?"

Jackson frowned and took his hand swiftly. "I can see that…but we're almost there…"

Aaron sighed and looked away and wiped away his tears with his free hand. "I let you in again, I've been stupid, I-I-I just exploded…I really thought I disgusted you and that hurt me so much"

"You could never disgust me Aaron, never"

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry"

Jackson nodded. "So am I, I could have handled the situation a hell of a lot better"

"I shouldn't have carried it on this long either" Aaron told him.

"I'm going to stop hounding you"

"I'll uh…I'll stop flinching every time you touch me"

Jackson smiled. "You didn't when I took your hand"

Aaron nodded. "I know"

"Good there's nothing wrong with you, n-not on the outside, it shouldn't affect our relationship babe, and it shouldn't affect the way you think about yourself either because you aren't any different"

Aaron turned to Jackson as he started to crumble and it broke Jackson's heart. "But I feel it sometimes" he uttered as he started to cry again.

"Aww babe" Jackson said as he quickly shuffled closer and held him in his arms.

"Can you make it go away?" Aaron asked as he sobbed against Jackson's shoulder.

Jackson held him tight as his body racked and shuddered in his arms. "I wish I could gorgeous but I can't, I can't make it go away and I'm sorry for that I really am" he replied as he rubbed his back gently.

After a few more minutes Aaron had calmed down and gently pulled away from Jackson's arms and looked into his eyes. "It's okay" he sniffled. "I-I missed you"

"I missed you too" Jackson told him as he kept his hand on his shoulder and squeezed it lightly.

"So, what do we do now?" Aaron asked.

"We go to bed, if you want me? And tomorrow I'll get my stuff from the pub"

Aaron nodded. "I like the sound of that"

"Good" Jackson said with a smile. "You still adjusting to the medication?"

"How did you know?"

"Adam told us, told us Dan told him to mention it, because you couldn't grasp it at the time"

"Oh right, well yeah I am…I'm always tired and feel sick, but never actually sick, I was after I'd taken them the first time and I wanted you, I was all alone in this house and I wanted you so much but I'd thrown you out and you know how stubborn I can be"

Jackson chuckled as he nodded his head.

"I'm glad you came, Jackson…cause…I know this sounds horrible but I don't think I'd have made a move"

"I understand, you felt hurt by what you assumed I thought about you…but to be honest babe I'd have kept on at you" he told him with a smirk.

Aaron took Jackson's hand and held it tightly. "I'm so sorry"

"I know you are me too"

Aaron nodded with a small smile. "W-When you were gone I started to think that we were broken you know…and that it was something we couldn't fix it…"

"We aren't broken, Aaron, no way"

A flood of emotion overwhelmed Aaron again and he looked at Jackson with a slight smile as his eyes filled with tears. "You saved my life, you know that don't ya?"

Jackson's eyes, immediately at those words filled with tears and he nodded with a smile. "I do"

"And I'm going to spend the rest of my life, which you saved, with you. You're all I'll ever need and I love you, I might have been dead now if it wasn't for you. How did you find me Jackson?" Aaron asked with narrowed eyes. "It was all dark for me, but then, all of a sudden there you were out of nowhere and you wouldn't go away, through all of the noise and mess in my head you didn't go, you were still here…" Aaron told him and with a quivering lip he turned away and his eyes focused on a picture of Paddy. "I-I think he sent you, you know…cause he would have known the mess I was in and then there you were standing on top of that cliff behind me as I was about to jump...its uh…" he turned back to him with a smile "It's pretty damn amazing"

* * *

**TBC…**


	31. I Had You With Me

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"I Had You With Me"**

* * *

_Who's to know what might have been_  
_We'll leave behind a life and time_  
_We'll never know again_

_Please remember, please remember_  
_I was there for you_  
_And you were there for me_  
_And remember, please remember me..._

_Song Belongs To LeAnn Rhimes_

* * *

Life for Aaron and Jackson had settled dramatically over the past few months, they lived how a couple should but time had flown it was the second anniversary of Paddy's death and Aaron had organised a get together in the pub, he and Jackson were in the back with Chas having a drink before people arrived. Aaron stood fiddling with the button on his grey shirt and he was pacing and he'd been pretty silent which hadn't come as any sort of surprise to Chas or Jackson, two years, hell not even a lifetime would be enough to get over the death of a loved one.

Jackson tentatively approached Aaron with a smirk and placed his free hand on his shoulder, the other was occupied with a bottle of lager. "Babe, just relax" he spoke softly.

Aaron let out a sigh and turned to face Jackson. "I can't, I've got this speech and I'm bricking it, and the fact that I missed the first one"

"I know you did but you're better now and you wanted to do the speech and both of us are proud of you" Jackson told him and Aaron looked over and saw his mum smiling at him, then he turned back to Jackson. "Paddy would be proud of you too, you know that, ignore everyone else and just imagine you're talking to him"

Aaron nodded quickly. "Yeah, yeah, sounds good"

Jackson chuckled and let go. "Alright then you good?"

Aaron nodded again with a nervous smile. "Right then boys, I'll open up, Marlon should be done with the food" Chas told them as she made her way out.

…

The pub was packed and it was the first time that Aaron saw how well respected and loved Paddy was and obviously still missed. At the time of the funeral though through grief he couldn't see all of the people, hear the speeches they made at the wake, he was lost in his thoughts wanting his dad to come back. Now it was different, naturally he still painfully missed him and wished he was still alive but nothing could change that and slowly over time he'd come to accept it. He smiled as he walked over to Adam and David who were sat at a table chatting and like he always did, he sat down mid conversation interrupting them. "Ahh there's me mate!" David said loudly with a grin as he slapped Aaron on the back. "This is great what you've done mate, for Paddy"

Aaron smiled sheepishly and nodded. "Had too"

"And anyway David, he's my mate not yours" Adam told him with a playful glare.

"Oh god!" Aaron groaned. "Don't start this again, there is plenty of me to go around" he explained as Jackson placed his hand on Aaron's shoulders from behind.

"But not when he's with me" Jackson grinned playfully.

David scoffed. "Shocking!"

"Why are we mates now anyway?" Aaron asked David with a smirk. "I used to be a brat and worse"

"Yeah well" David shrugged. "You're a good man, and it just kinda happened, so just behave a-and get me another pint you"

Aaron laughed and got up off his chair and headed to the bar, as he did he saw Chas and another familiar someone rushing to the back door. Aaron frowned as he walked around the bar, when he reached the passageway his mum was closing the door and quickly sorting her hair and readjusting her clothes. Aaron leaned against the wall with his arms folded up against his chest, he faked a cough which made her jump and she turned to her son.

"Jesus Aaron!"

"Oh aye who was that then?"

"Oh erm, n-n-nobody love" her voice suddenly went high and she smiled nervously as she spoke.

"Yeah alright, I've checked out that body enough times to know who that was"

"A-and who was it then?" Chas asked.

Aaron rolled his eyes and let his arms drop to his sides. "It was Dan mum, my doctor you dirty woman"

Chas quickly rushed over to him. "Oh I'm sorry love, I-I like him, I really do…"

"How long?" Aaron asked with a raised eyebrow.

"A month"

Aaron nodded as he pouted then he turned and walked back into the bar.

"I'm sorry if you're mad son, but I do like him, a-are you mad?" she asked as she walked after him.

Aaron walked ahead with a grin on his face and he simply shook his head knowing she would see.

Chas stopped in her tracks and a huge smile spread across her lips.

The celebration of Paddy's life continued loudly, pearl and the rest of the oldies were sat together laughing as they told stories about him which Aaron could hear from the bar and it made him smile, stories about Paddy and even the mention of his name could be heard all around him and it made his heart fill with pride. Chas smiled at the sight of Aaron smiling at seemingly nothing and she walked over. "You alright?" she asked.

Aaron nodded. "Yeah, just listening, Paddy this, Paddy that…"

Chas nodded as she looked around at everyone. "He was a good man, a very good man"

"The best" Aaron concluded. "And I had him in my life every day for a good few years and I will never forget it"

Chas reached out and placed her hand over his. "You won't…err listen love about me and Dan..."

"Ah mum don't, I'm really happy for ya, trust me"

"Okay…so you've checked him out enough eh?"

Aaron sighed and rolled his eyes. "Do not tell Jackson" he told her quickly and Chas simply started laughing which made him laugh.

"I won't"

"Good and anyway, Dan was mine before he was yours so yeah...stick that in ya pipe and smoke it"

"Ner ner ner…" Chas replied childishly with a smile as she wandered away to serve customers.

Aaron smirked and turned to look around again just as Hazel walked in, he groaned and turned back to the bar, they still hadn't really gotten to know one another and there was still a definite atmosphere between the two of them. Moments later he was joined by Tom, he turned and smiled at him. "Alright mate?"

Tom nodded. "Yeah mate I'm good, I'm alright to be here yeah?"

"Yeah course, why wouldn't you be?" Aaron asked with a frown.

"Cause I didn't know Paddy, but I needed to speak to you, it couldn't wait"

"Well it's a free country mate come in anytime, come on we'll go outside, bit quieter"

Tom smiled nervously and followed him out.

"So he's doing alright isn't he?" David asked from the table as he saw him and Tom walking out

Jackson and Adam both nodded. "Yeah he's doing good, got used to the medication now and life's never been better to be honest mate"

David nodded with a smile. "Good, thought you both seemed happier"

"Oh we are" Jackson grinned.

"So you two you know" Adam started but stopped mid-sentence and Jackson turned to him with a frown. "What?" he asked.

"You know… sex"

"We did yeah" Jackson replied with a smile he couldn't hide if he had too.

"And?" David asked. "Come on, you can't just leave it there!"

Jackson smirked. "All I'm telling you both is that it was special, best night of our lives, he just had to feel comfortable again, it took time I know but he got there, he's doing amazing"

"Pleased for ya mate" David said as he slapped him on the shoulder and got up. "Another?"

"Yeah go on then" Jackson replied and Adam nodded.

…

Aaron was sat on the bench of one of the tables out the front of the pub whilst watching Tom standing pacing in front of him. "All I've had so far is that you're nervous; don't know what to do, come on mate what's up? Have you messed up at the garage? If you have don't worry cause I can go down now and sort it"

Tom shook his head. "It's not the garage" he told Aaron with a sigh and stopped and turned to face him.

"Well what then mate? I can't help you if you don't tell me"

"A-alright…" he stuttered and rubbed his head. "I'm telling you because I look up to you" Which Aaron scoffed at, he didn't know why. "Because you're strong, brave and overcome many things but mainly b-because you…." He sighed and took a breath. "You are too, g-gay I mean"

Aaron's eyes widened and he nodded. "Oh…r-right…okay how long have you known mate?"

Tom shrugged and walked over to the bench and sat next to Aaron. "I think I always did you know…"

An all knowing look covered Aaron's face and he nodded.

"You're the only one I've told…I haven't told my mum yet…"

"What about your dad?"

"Oh I don't see him; I think my mum would be okay I'm just scared in case she isn't"

"Understandable but you have nothing to be scared about mate, when I came out, or well when Paddy forced it out of me he helped me through it you know, they all did and the people who matter won't care, I learned that. Everything I thought when I was in denial turned out to be all wrong, I still have my family and friends, I-I've even got Jackson now and I can honestly say I love him"

"It shows" Tom replied with a smile.

"Have you been to bar west?"

Tom hung his head and nodded. "It was weird, scary even I got a few lads coming over to me and they were attractive but I was out of my depth"

Aaron nodded. "Well you can come with us tonight if you like? It's not as scary as you think"

"You'd do that for me?"

"You sound surprised" Aaron chuckled.

"No…well…yeah a bit, why bother doing me a favour?"

"Because we work together and I'd like to think we've become mates over the last few months" Aaron told him to which Tom nodded. "And it's not easy, it really isn't. You think you're going through it alone but really you're not, I didn't realise that until I'd come to terms with it all properly, I don't want you to have to go through thinking the same, you've got me mate, I'll help you"

Tom smiled gratefully at him. "Thanks Aaron"

"No problem" he told him as Jackson walked out of the pub.

"Ah there you are, err my mums in"

"Yeah I know, I saw her"

"You didn't speak to her?"

"Nope" Aaron told him matter of factly to which Jackson sighed. "Alright well can you now please, this is getting tiring now…and you have to make your speech so move it"

Aaron got up. "Come on mate I'll buy you a drink"

Tom thanked him and walked inside but Aaron's attention had been diverted to Smithy, someone was hanging around the house, he frowned, he recognised him and a panic started to build within. Out of pure fear he quickly walked into the pub.

Despite who he'd seen still playing heavily on his mind Aaron got up to make his speech. He quietened everyone and seconds later all eyes were on him. "Alright, first off I just want to thank everyone for coming, Paddy would be over the moon, he really would but saying that this won't happen every year I just felt that because I missed the last one because of my own stupidity it felt right to do it again" he stopped and took a breath. "Earlier I was sat at the bar just listening and all I could hear were stories, laughter and some tears because of one man and my heart could have burst with pride, it still could now seeing you all here, even you Nicola"

Nicola pulled a shocked face. "I beg your pardon"

"Yeah well Paddy did always say you were a mardy arse" he told her with a smirk which caused laughter from everyone except Nicola, even Jimmy was laughing but that earned him a dig in the ribs. "But yeah Paddy, what can I say about him eh? Well he was the most genuine, caring, and funny man I've ever met, when I say funny though I mean, a man who was hilariously dreadful at humour or sarcasm, but he made me laugh, he made me smile, he pulled me up when I needed him, he also shot me down when I needed it, I know I wasn't his biological son but I was his son and he was my dad, I loved him and I'll never stop, it's just impossible to even think of those feelings disappearing. After everything I put him through he was always there, a lot of you will agree, he could always be counted upon, always there" Aaron said with a smile as tears filled his eyes. "He will never be forgotten in this village and that is a testament to him, of how much a great man he was, so if you'll all like to raise your glasses" Aaron raised his. "To Paddy"

Instantly a roaring "To Paddy" sounded through the bar and Aaron took a drink. "Miss ya Patrick" he muttered to himself and smirked, Paddy hated being called that but he was sure he'd be let off this once. When he turned around again Nicola was in his face and he winced in pain as she grabbed him by the ear and he felt it pulling as she was walking away. "Come on!"

"Argh Nicola!"

Laughter followed at hearing Aaron's pain. "Ohh she wasn't happy with that" Jimmy told Chas as he stood by the bar.

"True though"

"Very" he replied. "But I didn't say that"

"Got ya" she replied with a wink.

…

"What did she want then?" Jackson asked as Aaron returned to the table.

"Pulled me up on what I said, I just reassured her that Paddy still liked her, but he thought that at the same time, she eased off a bit then let me go then asked why didn't I pick on anyone else…I just said cause she was easy to wind up, she nearly got my other ear but I ran" he told him with a chuckle.

Jackson smiled and reached for his hand and squeezed. "I haven't seen you all afternoon"

"Ah I know babe I'm sorry, Tom needed to talk to me, had to see my mum, then the speech, then Nicola" he rolled his eyes. "But I'll make it up to you later"

"Oh I know you will" Jackson grinned as he leaned over and kissed him.

"Where's David?" Aaron asked with a frown.

Jackson shrugged and frowned. "I have no clue; he's smashed started babbling about going to sit on his step, in his pants, any idea?"

Aaron frowned and shook his head.

"Nope me either, ah well"

Seconds later a pint was placed in front of both of them and Aaron looked up to see Hazel and at the same time felt a gentle kick against his foot from Jackson, his message had been received and understood.

"A peace offering…t-thought we could finally clear the air" Hazel started.

Aaron looked to Jackson then back at Hazel then nodded. "Join us?"

Hazel smiled and walked around the table and sat down.

"What you did in here that day doesn't matter anymore Hazel, I've been mad with you for a long time but I think it's time I let it go, your Jackson's mum, I love him and we're going to be in each other's lives"

Hazel smiled. "I know you do and looking at you now…well I'm sorry I judged you, I shouldn't have. You were going through a tough time, I've seen the real you now and that speech, well it was beautiful, had me in tears and I didn't even know the man"

Aaron smiled. "You'd have got on with him"

"Oh definitely, from what I've heard about him" Jackson added and all he could think was _About time!_

After sitting chatting with Hazel for quite a while; which went smoothly to his surprise. Aaron excused himself and headed home, the person he saw still plagued him and he needed to know he hadn't seen things. As he approached the house there was no damage, no forced entry. He put his key in the lock and opened the door and walked in, he looked to the floor when the sound of scrunching paper could be heard when he stepped inside. He blew out a deep breath and reached down and picked it up. He sighed as he read the hand written note. _**Can't get rid of me Aaron, you owe me £10k you have till the end of the week, if you don't pay up you're dead and I'll make good on that threat unlike times in the past, I'll be seeing you soon – Rob**_

Aaron closed his eyes tight, Rob had been paid off but there was the issue of the bag of cocaine being planted on him, it wouldn't have cost that much but guys like Rob liked their interest and he'd certainly piled it on top of the cost. It didn't matter that Aaron didn't ask for it or even want it, Rob was playing games trying to get him hooked again and Aaron knew that at the time, but the long gap since then and now…didn't make sense but at the same time didn't matter and Aaron knew that, Rob had to be paid otherwise he'd be dead and there was no doubt in his mind that Rob meant every word, he had to find ten thousand pounds…like that was going to happen! He'd try…but he was done for.

* * *

**TBC…**


	32. Explanations

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"Explanations"**

* * *

It had been a few days since Paddy's memorial and the effects of the alcohol from the continued party in bar west were just slowly going away and Aaron was starting to feel a little more normal. It was late afternoon and there wasn't long to go before closing up. He closed the bonnet of the car and took his gloves off as Cain stopped beside him.

"Here" Cain said as he slapped a pay packet in his hands.

"Cheers Cain" Aaron thanked him as he put the packet in his pocket and Cain leaned in further so Tom wouldn't hear.

"There's a bit more in there than normal so keep that between me and you yeah?"

Aaron frowned. "How come?"

"Because you need it and I know now Paddy's gone, you don't have a father figure anymore, just want you to know I can be that bloke for you, I want to be. I'm so proud of you kid, not just for kicking the drugs, but for being a man, with your relationship with Jackson, Paddy would have loved him"

Aaron nodded with a smile. "I appreciate it but you didn't have too"

"I did, I bunged it in there instead of giving it separate that's all, it's no reflection on Tom, he's a brilliant worker, but you're family and sometimes you need help"

Aaron scoffed. "Too right, and I do actually"

"Oh?"

Aaron shook his head. "Oh nothing, it's nothing"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing it's just the bank, I went yesterday when you sent me into town to see if they would give me a loan, turns out they wouldn't touch me with a barge pole" he told him with a sigh. "I have money from the surgery but I can't get it, I wouldn't dip into it if I could anyway"

Cain frowned. "How much are you after?"

"Ten grand"

"What! Jesus Aaron why do you want that much?"

"I just do alright"

"You in trouble?"

Aaron scoffed and did his best to act normal and he shook his head. "No"

"I wish I could help, I'm well off but everything's tied up in other stuff"

"You're alright, I wasn't asking, cheers anyway Cain"

Cain nodded and started to walk away. "You alright to lock up? I've got to head into town"

"Yeah, yeah sure"

"Right see ya tomorrow" Cain told him as he walked off to his car troubled by Aaron's need for ten grand.

Aaron walked back to the office and started filling out the paperwork on the car he'd just completed, a few minutes later Tom walked inside. "is it alright if I nip up to the shop, need to get a few bits for my mum"

Aaron looked up from his paperwork "Yeah sure mate, we're quiet now anyway"

"Cheers, won't be long"

"Okay" Aaron replied as he walked off as he looked through the paperwork, one hadn't been filled in, for the car that was in front of him inside the garage, Aaron rolled his eyes and walked around and started work on it. He was under the car when he heard Tom walking back in. "I thought we were done but this got forgotten about" he told him from beneath the car and suddenly he felt a tight grip around both of his ankles and he was being pulled out from under it. His eyes widened when he saw Rob smirking at him.

"Me and you, we'll never be done!" Rob growled, reached down at him and grabbed him by the neck then flung him toward the back wall. Aaron hit it hard and landed painfully on the concrete floor.

"It's not been a week yet!" Aaron yelled back at him.

"Oh I know that, I just needed to make sure you're aware that I meant every word in that note" Rob told him as he walked over to him.

"I do! But ten grand you're fucking crazy! I don't have that kind of money!"

"Don't shout at me"

"I'll do what I like" Aaron spat angrily.

"And you'll also find me ten grand" he said as he hunched down in front of him. "Five days to go" he grinned as he slapped Aaron a few times on his cheek, then his grin disappeared and his fist plummeted Aaron's face, several times hitting him hard despite Aaron's struggle. Rob laughed as he got to his feet then he kicked him in the chest which winded him and Aaron gasped for air, he thought he was going to die, it felt like it until he was able to breathe properly. His breathing was heavy; all he could taste was blood and a stinging around his eye and his lip.

"Whether I had a lifetime, I couldn't find you ten grand Rob"

"Well that's a shame for you Aaron, once upon a time you were my best customer how things change eh?"

"I saw sense Rob"

"Well instead of the drugs killing ya, your old dealer will, five days Aaron, five days" he grinned again and walked off leaving Aaron in a bloodied heap in the corner.

A few minutes later Tom walked into the garage. "Sorry mate took longer than I expected, David started yapping on about Alicia, he's in love" he chuckled as he put the shopping bag down and looked around with a frown. "Aaron?" he called out then walked around the car and he saw him, Aaron in a heap in the corner of the garage with blood pouring from his split lip and eyebrow. "Shit Aaron!" he exclaimed and rushed over and knelt down in front of him and he reached out, but Aaron grabbed him by the wrist.

"Don't touch me Tom"

"Oh" it dawned on Tom and he was surprised by how easy it was to forget. "Sorry I'll get some gloves and clean you up…" he looked Aaron in the eyes. "Will you let me?"

Aaron nodded with a sigh.

"Alright" Tom replied as he got up to get the first aid kit.

…

Jackson frowned when he heard a fuss as the front door was being opened. "Will you stop badgering me? I told you I didn't need walking home, it's nothing"

"Yeah so you say" Tom said as he pushed Aaron into Smithy. "Let's see how you explain this one to Jackson, cause you'll tell him won't ya"

Aaron growled and pulled away from Tom's grip. "It was just a customer, thought I was conning him, he just went mad, think he was having a breakdown"

"What customer?" Jackson asked and Aaron quickly spun around to see him sat at the dining table. Jackson was up on his feet straight away.

"I've cleaned him up the best I can Jackson, maybe you could?"

"Yeah, yeah mate thanks"

Aaron rolled his eyes and sighed. "I' am fine!"

"Well you don't look it, get in there and sit down" Jackson ordered him and Aaron thought better of arguing and just walked into the kitchen.

"Why didn't you just tell me when I was asking ya then?" Tom wondered.

"Cause I was embarrassed that's why"

"Daft, that's what you are" Tom told him. "As if I'd think any less of ya"

"Or me" Jackson added.

"Yeah, yeah alright just leave it now yeah"

"Right I'll leave you to it, see you tomorrow" Tom told him and Aaron nodded with a small smile before he left the house.

"I should call the police" Jackson started and he quickly pulled his phone.

"What! No! Jay babe please just leave it yeah, I'll get cleaned up then we're going to the pub I need a drink after this"

"But we should-"

"No, I don't want to, I'm fine"

Jackson sighed and stuffed his phone back in his pocket. "Go on then, get ready"

Aaron got up from the table and walked by him but was stopped when Jackson held his arm gently. Aaron frowned and turned to him.

"If you're lying to me, I won't be very happy"

"Yeah I know" Aaron told him then swallowed hard. "I'm not"

"Alright then" Jackson nodded and let him go.

…

When they walked into the bar the first thing they saw was Dan leaning against the bar, blatantly flirting with Chas, her giggles said it all. Aaron rolled his eyes and walked over to the bar with Jackson beside him.

"Oh hiya you too" Chas beamed happily and walked over and started pulling two pints, knowing already what they would ask for. "What happened to you?"

Aaron sighed. "Nothing, Tom and Jackson have already asked that enough just leave it"

Chas pulled a wary face and looked toward Jackson then to Dan who walked along to them. "You're alright though yeah?" he asked.

Aaron nodded and flashed a smile.

"Good"

After they'd gotten their pints they walked over and sat at a table, Aaron was quiet and obviously not listening to anything Jackson was saying. "So yeah this monkey jumped into the middle of the road, then a lion, then you won't believe this, a t-rex charged past the van…it was huge! I tell ya" he said with a sigh. "What a day"

Aaron frowned. "What?"

"So you weren't listening, just what I'd thought, one of these days you will listen to me"

"I do listen, today was just a bit of a shock that's all"

"Yeah I know but you can talk to me Aaron"

"I know but I don't need to I'm alright" he told him as Rob walked into the bar which Aaron saw straight away and his entire body tensed. From across the bar Rob grinned at him and he watched as his mum took his order and started pulling him a pint.

"You're shaking" Jackson noted quietly. "Come on let's just go home"

"No I'm fine here" Aaron swallowed hard and looked away from Rob and stared down at the beer mat on the table.

Jackson sighed and looked around the bar; this was going to be a fun evening. He frowned when he saw Rob, he knew him and he turned back to Aaron. He scoffed and got to his feet but Aaron quickly looked up and saw the anger on Jackson's face and he grabbed him by the wrist to stop him. "Leave it Jackson!" Aaron told him quickly as Rob grinned as he watched from the bar.

"You get a fat lip, a cut on your head and he's in the pub Aaron, are you keeping something to yourself?"

"No just leave it; he's just winding me up"

"Did he do this to you?" Jackson asked quietly as he sat back down but Aaron shook his head quickly. "No jay he didn't, it's the truth"

"Alright then"

After drinking what looked like half of his pint Rob walked to the other end of the bar, closest to Aaron and Jackson and after checking he'd be okay while he went to the toilet, Jackson left Aaron alone. The entire time Aaron watched Rob, he was scared of the man but needed to be prepared if he dared to do anything in the pub. He watched as he downed the rest of his pint and Rob turned to face him as he still leaned against the bar and with his hands he counted down from five slowly and then when no fingers were left he raised his other hand to his head and did a gun shooting motion which made Aaron shudder and Rob chuckled as he walked off. He was in too deep and he certainly couldn't get out of the situation he was in.

Aaron blew out a deep breath and got to his feet and walked into the back, he put his head in his hands as he stood against the door and then wiped his hands slowly down his face and he shook his head. He looked down to his right, the safe…he frowned, did he really have it in him? He was leaning down, about to find out and knowing the code either didn't help, he'd seen his mum go into it plenty. His face scrunched and he rubbed the sides of his head with both hands in frustration, he had to get a grip but that didn't seem to be happening as he reached out and quickly unlocked the safe and pulled it open, bags of money and banded piles of notes were inside but nowhere near enough the amount he needed…but it was a start and with a deep breath he reached out for the money, he had a pile of notes in his hand before he sighed loudly whilst shaking his head. He couldn't do it, not to his mum especially after everything she had done for him, he let go of the money and started closing the safe but froze when Dan spoke from behind.

"What the hell are you doing!" he raged and Aaron closed his eyes tight he had more explaining to do…

* * *

**TBC…**


	33. No Happy Ending

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"No Happy Ending"**

* * *

"Aaron!" Dan yelled again which seemed to evoke a reaction this time from him.

Aaron sighed and slowly turned and got to his feet and looked at him. "That was exactly what you think it was" he told him honestly but Dan frowned and reached out and patted Aaron down checking for any piles of money but Aaron sighed and shook his head and stepped back. "But I haven't taken any"

"Why not? Perfect opportunity"

"Yes I know. I need money alright and I was going to take it but I stopped myself, it wouldn't be fair, not after everything my mums done for me"

"Damn right"

Aaron sighed and bit his lip. "Look Dan please don't tell her, I feel bad as it is and I won't do that again"

"I know you won't" he was angry at Aaron, and Aaron knew it! "So what's so urgent that you need the cash for?"

Aaron looked away and shook his head. "It's nothing"

"Usually when people turn to stealing it's more than just nothing Aaron"

"Alright!" Aaron snapped. "It's more than nothing, a hell of a lot more but it looks like I'll be sorting this myself, I'll see ya" he told him and quickly started to leave.

Dan sighed and started off after him. "No, mate hang on a sec" he called out but it was too late, Aaron had walked back through into the bar and Dan didn't want to cause a scene.

Jackson frowned as Aaron approached their table. "Where have you been?"

"Just through the back is there a problem?" Aaron snapped.

"Nope no problem just as long as you're okay" Jackson told him as Aaron sat back down.

"Yep just fine"

"Good" Jackson smiled as he placed an arm around his boyfriend. Aaron sighed and looked across at Dan, he didn't mean for anyone to see him, what would Dan think of him now? It bothered him but he had bigger things to worry about.

…

Those five days that Rob had counted down with his fingers? Yep they had well and truly gone and quickly too. Aaron had tried to get the money, he went to the bank again and tried a few loan companies but his credit rating wasn't good enough which left him in a panicked state but one he had to keep at bay in front of Jackson, but it had caused arguments over the week, Jackson worried about him and Aaron snapped back telling him to leave him alone and back off that it was just 'stuff' which made no sense whatsoever to Jackson but was resigned to the fact that, that was the only explanation he was getting.

It was the evening of the fifth day; dark wintry nights had set in and Aaron's mood was in the gutter for obvious reasons. He was alone and was locking up. With the garage locked he walked down the forecourt and pulled the large gate closed as a van pulled up behind him. Moments later the keys in his hands fell to the ground as both hands were pulled behind his back and a bag was put over his head, he struggled and screamed out but it was dark and cold, nobody was around to hear him, Rob made sure of that as he placed his hand over the bag where Aaron's mouth would be then gave him a quiet verbal warning, it seemingly did the trick and with Aaron quiet he was thrown into the van.

"Do you think he's sleeping with someone else?" Hazel asked.

Jacksons' eyes widened and he shook his head. "What? Mum! No, no of course he isn't"

"Well the behaviour you've described matches up don't you think?" she asked with a raised eyebrow as she lifted her hot mug of tea to her mouth.

Jackson sighed and shook his head. "You're not helping"

"Hmm, that tells me you think he could be"

"I-It's possible"

"Anything's possible with Aaron Livesy" Hazel said with a sigh.

Jackson rolled his eyes and shook his head at the same time. "Mum! That's enough!" he warned her as he looked at the clock on the kitchen wall. "And he's late – again!"

"Call him then"

"I am" he told her as he pulled his phone from his pocket.

…

"Don't stop until we get th-" Rob was stopped and he sneered at Aaron as a ringtone echoed in the van. He quickly rummaged through Aaron's pockets and pulled out the phone then he pulled off the bag from Aaron's head and grinned at him as he forced the flashing mobile in Aaron's face. The sudden brightness in the darkness caused him to squint.

"Look who it is eh? Lover boy" Rob explained with a chuckle. "Somehow though" he began as he started moving to the back doors of the van. "This is one call you're going to have to miss" he told him gravely as he opened the door of the moving van ever so slightly and flung Aaron's mobile out into the deserted countryside then slammed the doors shut causing a loud bang which made Aaron jump.

Aaron swallowed hard. "I-I tried Rob, I'm telling you I tried"

"Not hard enough eh?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"You owe me money Aaron"

"For drugs I didn't want or ask for!" Aaron raged.

"Ohh look at you, brave aren't ya?"

"I might aswell be!" Aaron raged as he fought against the restraints on his wrists. "You're gunna kill me anyway!"

Rob sighed and sat down in front of Aaron and shook his head. "But see…you're going to take all the fun out of it because with that attitude I'll kill you a lot sooner than planned"

Aaron rolled his eyes. "Sooner is much better than later"

"For you, maybe" Rob said with a nod. "But for me, not so much. I'm quite looking forward to watching you suffer"

"I bet you are you sick bastard" Aaron spat bitterly which made Rob sit up in response and he moved closer to Aaron and grabbed him by the neck with a hard tight grip.

"You made a huge mistake!"

"And what's that!" Aaron managed to croak out.

"For ever meeting me, no addict gets away from me easily, not ever! Do you understand that Aaron? Hmm see I liked you Aaron, I really did…but now…now you're just a waste of space, an empty shell with nothing!"

"I have Jackson!" he fought back with a struggle, Rob's grip was getting harder and the ability to breathe was becoming even more difficult.

"Right, well where is he then eh?"

"He'll find me! He always does!"

Disgusted, Rob sharply pulled his hand from Aaron's neck, leaving him to gasp for air as the van came to a stop and the voice of the driver sounded telling them they were there, wherever it was. "Get up!" Rob growled as he grabbed Aaron by the arm and pulled him toward the back doors and with his free hand Rob pushed open the doors and stepped out, dragging Aaron with him.

Aaron was disorientated and still getting his breath back but he could make out the silhouette of what could be a barn, he sighed as Rob pulled him forward. "Come on, it's your new home…" he said and started to laugh and turned to Aaron's moonlit face. "Well until I decide otherwise of course" Aaron rolled his eyes and decided to go with it, he'd find a way out he always did, in the past though it was usually with help but this time he had a feeling he'd have to do it alone despite his warning to Rob that Jackson would find him.

…

Hazel approached the living room to find her son pacing in a panic. "Has anyone heard from him?"

Jackson sighed and shook his head. "No and I've rang everyone and he's still not picking up"

"He's probably just gone out love; you did say you two had been arguing lately"

"Yeah, yeah we have"

"Well then, just calm down yeah? He's a big boy now, he can handle himself"

Jackson threw himself down onto the sofa. "Doesn't stop me worrying, why has he done this mum? Why does he always do it? Have I not done enough for him, loved him enough? Am _I _just not good enough?" he asked with a raised voice. "Because right now it certainly doesn't feel like I'm enough, he must think it's alright to leave me worrying, he knows I hate it!"

"He's been through a lot Jackson"

"Yeah mum, BUT SO HAVE I! None of what's happened since I met him has been easy, to be quite honest it's been hell and I don't know if I can cope any longer, he promises to change then we're okay for a bit but then something else happens, like tonight! Who the hell does he think he is eh? You know what mum!" he ranted and got to his feet. "I've never been anyone's mug and I'm not going to start now, I can cope with and understand so much, but not anymore!" he told her before marching out of the living room.

"W-Well hang on love" she replied as she followed him. "Where are you going?"

"To let my hair down for once, to relax, to get drunk and with any luck I might bump into him…but this is me we're talking about isn't it, I won't be lucky enough to see him out!"

"I think you need to stop and just calm down"

"Oh I'm calm!" he told her as he quickly pulled on his jacket. "I'm calm alright, actually I'm fine, I'm in a good mood, if Aaron wants me then he can come find _me!_" Jackson told her quickly before storming out of Smithy.

Hazel rolled her eyes. "Oh boy"

…

The crunching of worn concrete echoed through the barren building as Aaron sat listening while in his own world, the pain in both wrists had ceased now, he couldn't feel his hands the tightness of the rope had numbed them.

"Nice place eh?"

"Where's Rob?" Aaron asked quietly, his eyes still fixed to the ground.

"None of your business"

Aaron rolled his eyes, completely unaware that Rob was breaking into the pub. "You were the one who gave me the heroin round his place that time aren't ya?"

Dave grinned and nodded his head. "I certainly am" he replied as he pulled out another full needle of heroin from his pocket…

Chas stood at the till in the empty bar cashing up when she heard the creaking noise. She frowned then smirked realising it was Dan. "I didn't think you were staying tonight" she called out as she undid a few buttons on her top and walked through to the back room. Suddenly she stopped in her tracks and felt numb as she stared at the menacing looking man a few metres in front of her. "W-what are you doing? H-how did you get in here?"

"Quite skilled at breaking in…" he smiled proudly as he approached Chas.

"No p-please don't hurt me"

"Hurt you? Why would I do such a thing to such a stunning woman like yourself"

"Y-you were in the bar the other day, what was it eh? You checking the place out?"

Rob shook his head. "No, but you know you should take more of an interest in your son's life, I'm only here because of him"

"Aaron? W-why what's he done?"

"He owes me a lot of money and he had five days, I haven't received it so I've had to take drastic action"

Chas' eyes widened. "You better not have hurt him!"

"Oh no, not yet just taken him away…"

"Where?" Chas demanded but Rob simply laughed. "Like I'm going to answer that!"

Chas was still as Rob walked around her and she whimpered suddenly as he placed his hand over her mouth. "I'm his dealer, or ex dealer but he still owes me…you're going to open that safe and give me everything that's in it" he told her but she shook her head. "If you don't you'll have to bury your son. I'm going to let go now and if you try to run or scream I'll hurt you" he told her and waited a few seconds before moving his hand off her mouth.

"There's nothing in the safe but the tills open" she told him as she closed her teary eyes. "It's probably not enough but take it"

"How do I know the safe is empty?" Rob asked.

"There's a banking slip on the bar, I took it this afternoon, I'm telling you there's nothing in it" she told him quickly and let out a breath of relief as Rob left and walked through to the bar, giving her a few seconds to compose herself.

As Rob walked back through he typed a text onto his phone, then looked over at Chas before leaving. "He's going to pay for this, trust me"

Chas swallowed hard, she had to do something!

Back in the abandoned barn Dave placed his phone back in his pocket after receiving the go ahead from Rob and he knelt down to Aaron and when Aaron saw the needle he jumped and tried to move but he was stuck yet it didn't stop him trying. "NO! Please don't!" he fought back but found himself in tears, he didn't want that stuff, he'd been through so much to stop the cocaine but that, what Dave had was something totally different. He sobbed and shook his head. "Please" he sobbed out as Dave grabbed one of his arms to keep it still "I'm just doing what I'm told…I-I'm sorry" he whispered before stabbing the needle into Aaron's arm and pushing the liquid into his vein.

Aaron's entire body relaxed and just before he fell unconscious due to the huge amount shocking his system he let out a long drawn out heavy breath.

…

After giving her intruder a few minutes Chas followed in Diane's car but made sure she remained at a safe distance, if the guy knew he was being followed it could mean repercussions for Aaron and she didn't want that. It was quite a long drive but eventually she found where he was hiding Aaron, regretfully though and as much as she wanted to barge in and get him out of the mess he was in she couldn't, it was too dangerous. She made the decision to turn back to the village.

Hazel jumped when the front door opened, it was Jackson and she raised a disapproving eyebrow at him. "So much for a night out"

Jackson sighed. "It was pointless I'm not even drunk… but I erm…I came to a conclusion"

"And what's that?"

"I'm leaving him; I'm going to pack my stuff now"

"Oh Jackson this is ridiculous"

"No mum! What he's doing is ridiculous" he yelled as Chas burst through the front door in tears, alarming them both.

"Chas? What's the matter love?" Hazel asked as she quickly got to her feet.

"I-I'm sorry it's late…but Aaron's been taken, he owes some guy money and he didn't pay so he's took him!"

"Rob?" Jackson asked. "Well where is he?"

"I managed to follow the van, he's at an abandoned barn a few miles out but I couldn't do anything"

"And neither can you Jackson so don't even think about it!" Hazel reminded him.

"I'm not…he got into this mess, he can get himself out of it, that might sound mean but that's the way it is" Jackson replied before walking upstairs to pack.

Chas was left confused and she turned to Hazel and didn't even need to ask. "He's had enough Chas, he's leaving him"

Chas sniffled and quickly wiped her eyes. "Is that right is it?" she asked before she charged up the stairs. "We'll see about that! JACKSON!" she yelled after him.

* * *

**TBC…**


	34. Heartless

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"Heartless"**

* * *

Chas slammed her son and boyfriend's bedroom door shut angrily and turned to face Jackson. "Had enough have ya?"

Jackson hung his head and nodded.

"Well tough, you love him Jackson I know you do!"

"Yeah you're right Chas I do but" he shrugged and looked up at her. "It's not enough anymore, he doesn't treat me like a boyfriend, we do nothing together, absolutely nothing, the best I can hope for is a night in the woolie, the closeness we once had isn't the same anymore"

"Yeah and you know why, it's bound to affect him"

"Why should it? Come on Chas answer me if you know everything. His condition shouldn't affect anything and yeah he let me in and we had more intimate moments but not enough! We're young for god sake you know what it's like, and we don't even talk much either Chas, if we do it's in an argument. I have to go, I can't save him anymore, and it's as simple as that"

And there it was, the kick in the chest that in the back of her mind Chas had always feared, those words she had always feared. "So that's it? You're just going to pack and leave without a word? What do I tell him when I find a way to get him out of this mess?"

Jackson shrugged. "Anything you want"

Chas sighed and rubbed her face in frustration. "We should be out helping him not discussing this right now"

"Well then go! I'm not stopping you Chas, and you can hate me all you want but just once, this once I'm going to do something for myself and that is getting as far away from Aaron as I can"

"Oh got a nice holiday planned then?" she smirked sarcastically. "Must be nice; leave us all here to pick up the pieces"

"Well it'll make a change won't it" Jackson told her with a quick flick of his eyebrows.

Chas frowned. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"You know what I mean, you talk as if you were always there picking up the pieces well let me tell you, you weren't here enough! I did everything, I did it all!" Jackson raged. "And now I'm tired, I'm sick of it Chas, it's one thing after another, I love your son I do but me and him are going nowhere! And if he'd told me about this mess instead of lying like he always does I might! I just might have been able to help him but no course not! He knows best!"

"Well if he makes it through this, I think he'll have learnt his lesson!"

"And if he doesn't, it's his own fault; no one will be to blame but him!"

"How can you say this?" she asked angrily.

"Anger Chas that's how I can say what I am…he pushes me so far, now I'm done. I hope you manage to help him I really do but I won't be here when you do"

Chas sighed and turned to walk off. "I just hope he can handle the news Jackson"

Jackson rolled his eyes. "Guilt tripping me won't work"

Chas stopped and quickly turned to look at him again. "Well I hope to god that someone or something does get through to you because he needs you and quite frankly so do I!"

…

The following morning Jackson woke up from a sound sleep, which for once made a change. He turned and saw his packed bags by the bed. He slept well because he was content and sure of his decision to leave. His note to Aaron was on the bedside table, he'd spent a good couple of hours writing the letter, it was lengthy and contained Jackson's thoughts and feelings and reason for leaving, he just really did hope Aaron got chance to read it. Moments later he got up out of bed and started getting ready.

Half an hour later after taking a shower he walked downstairs with his bags, dumped them by the door and then walked into the kitchen to see his mum sat at the table looking out the window. Jackson frowned. "What you doing?"

"Just watching, Chas, Cain and Zak are heading out"

"Good luck to them, I'm heading off anyway so I take it you're staying here?"

Hazel nodded. "Of course I am. I don't know how you can do this Jackson"

"Don't start" he warned her.

"I'm not, I was going to add that I can understand though, I just hope it's the right decision"

Jackson blew out a breath and nodded. "It is, I'll call ya"

"Okay" Hazel nodded as she got up and hugged her son tight. "I'll let you know what happens"

"Alright, but nothing else after that"

"Got it" she smiled and then let her son go.

Jackson left the place he had called home for the better part of a year and didn't look back as he walked straight over to his van and placed his bags in the foot well of the passenger side then got in and started the engine, as he clicked in his seatbelt the radio started and the song that was playing instantly hit a nerve and caused him to pause.

_Don't ask me  
What you know is true  
Don't have to tell you  
I love your precious heart_

Jackson blew out a deep breath and shook his head slightly. _  
_  
_I, I was standing  
You were there  
Two worlds collided  
And they could never tear us apart_

Memories of his first meeting Aaron filled Jackson's head and he sighed, such a perfect moment that was. "Damn you Paloma!" he cursed as he shook his head and he dropped the handbrake and sped off. It seemed that something had definitely got through to him.

…

Aaron began to wake and he could feel the sweat on his face and neck and he felt the swollen area where the needle had been angrily jabbed into the skin as he rubbed his hand over his forearm, he let out a quiet sigh and shifted slightly against the wall. Aaron tiredly looked up and found himself looking right at a gun then began to chuckle. "Now I know why you didn't tie me up"

Rob leaned down in front of Aaron keeping the gun very much in Aaron's view. "I paid your mum a little visit last night you should really look after that one; anything could happen to her when she is all alone in that pub of hers"

"If you've hurt her I swear to god!" Aaron shouted but Rob just laughed as he got to his feet. Then as he stared down at Aaron he took out another syringe "Think you need a bigger fix Livesy"

"Boss!" Dave called out. "I think we've got company!"

Rob frowned and turned to him. "You get out of here"

Without any argument Dave quickly left through an open back entrance as Aaron looked up at Rob with a curious frown on his face. "Why did you do it?" Aaron asked but Rob instantly shushed him. "NO! I want to know why, after everything I've been through to get where I was you've just-"

"I said shut up!" Rob told him angrily through gritted teeth.

…

"You aren't going in there alone!" Cain warned him as they stood in front of Jackson's van.

Jackson sighed and nodded. "I think you'll find I am Cain and the best thing about it is, you can't stop me"

"I can try"

Jackson shook his head; his tolerance of Cain was slowly dwindling to nothing. "Do you want Aaron in one piece or not?" he barked, clearly irritated by the hold up. No replies had come and Jackson looked between him and Chas. "Right then, are the police on their way?"

Chas swallowed hard as she nodded.

"Alright then, I'm doing this"

Inside Rob had taken Aaron in his arms and held him tight with the gun against his head. "I'm telling you Livesy if anyone comes in here your dead!" he warned, his tone evil, at the same time he was twiddling the needle he had taken out a few minutes earlier in his fingers.

The sounds of footsteps from outside could be heard inside the disused barn, Aaron closed his eyes and slowly let out a deep breath and seconds later his body jumped and his heartbeat shot up as the sound of a gunshot wracked his hearing, his eyes had darted open and he screamed out at the sight of Jackson falling to his knees. Chas and Cain upon hearing the shot had ran for the barn and police sirens were getting closer. Rob wouldn't let go as he struggled to get free of his grip. "GET OFF ME!"

"NO!"

Anger consumed him, an anger he'd never ever felt before, this was different, on a complete other level, he was aware of everything too as the adrenaline rush kicked in and he felt superhuman with unlimited strength, he kicked behind him striking at Rob's legs and he hit back with his elbows repeatedly but the blow to Rob's face freed him. Aaron stood still and looked at Jackson lying on the floor on his back. Tears began to fall and he sobbed as he started to walk over but he was stopped again, a grab to his arm then a familiar needle stab. He let out a weak breath and he dropped to his knees as his eyes rolled back, it didn't knock him unconscious but he became confused, unaware of Chas or Cain running in. Muffled sounds were all he could hear, the room was spinning and his temperature had increased significantly. Aaron began to crawl to Jackson, he needed to get to him he had too.

"Chas" Cain said with a nod in Aaron's direction. "I've got him" he told her then pinned Rob up against a wall. "Not such a big man now are ya? Hmm!"

Chas quickly walked over to Aaron and knelt down and tried to help him but he pushed her away as he reached Jackson, nothing was stopping him. "Jackson!" Aaron shouted and he jumped when his eyes shot open.

Groggily Jackson started to sit up but Chas rushed to him to get him to stop. "No love you've been shot, just lie back down yeah?"

Jackson looked down at the wound below his collar bone and stupidly he reached up and touched it gently only to wince in pain as Aaron spoke very weakly. "Mum I dunno what'-…" he swallowed hard, his vision was blurry and getting extremely worse, he felt light headed. "What's happ-"

"Aaron?" Jackson asked softly with a frown. "What's wrong with him Chas?"

"He got him with a needle, saw it on the floor when we came in" she replied. "Are you alright?"

"I will be, just make sure he is" Jackson told her as Aaron began to fall. "Whoa there babe" he said as he ignored the pain and instinctively reached out to him and lowered him carefully. "He's unconscious!"

Sounds slowly began to fade, he heard Jackson's voice it was the last thing.

…

The day was long and exhausting, Chas Cain and Jackson gave their statements to the police, one vital statement remained but that depended upon Aaron waking up, he had slipped into a coma because of the large amounts of heroin given to him. Chas pushed back the curtain to Jackson's bed and walked up to him with a smile. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, I'll be discharged in the morning, and I'll have a sling for a while"

Chas nodded. "You in pain?"

"A bit, arm's stiff too" he replied as he nodded. "How's Aaron?"

"He's uh, he's in a coma Jackson" Chas told him as she started to cry. "Too much drugs" she said with a chuckle. "The nurse said it as if he'd done it himself; I nearly slapped the stupid cow. Aaron didn't want it I know he didn't"

"Course he didn't" Jackson told her. "It was Rob, all of this was him I think he was slightly nuts"

"Only slightly?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah alright then, completely insane"

"That does it" she let out a sigh and shook her head. "What a mess"

Jackson nodded. "It couldn't really get any worse could it?"

"Well you could have been killed"

"Yeah but for Aaron, I mean"

"No it can't, why didn't he tell us something was wrong?" she asked and Jackson shrugged in reply.

"That's just Aaron all over though isn't it? Too proud or scared, one of the two…"

"What are you going to do now Jackson?"

"I'm not walking out on him when he's in a coma Chas, I'm not that heartless I'm man enough to do it when he's conscious"

Chas sighed and hung her head. "You'll be making a mistake"

Jackson shook his head. "No I don't think I will be, my decision is made up, he doesn't need me or whatever we were, Chas. I'll stay till he's awake but that's it" Chas didn't reply "I'll come and see him tomorrow when they let me go"

"Alright, well I'll let you get some rest, I'm gunna go back to him"

Jackson nodded slightly. "See ya"

The walk from Jackson's ward to Aaron's room wasn't very far, a couple of minutes' walk down a very long hospital corridor; it seemed to go on forever. Chas tiredly rubbed her forehead when she walked back into Aaron's room to see Cain still sat by his bed. "I thought you'd have gone by now"

Cain shook his head; his gaze was fixed on Aaron. "I couldn't just leave him"

"It's not like he's going anywhere Cain"

"And whose fault is that? I'll tell ya"

"Yeah Rob's fault Cain" she replied as she walked around the other side of the bed and sat in a chair taking Aaron's hand in hers.

Cain sniffled and wiped his eyes which bothered Chas, she'd hardly seen Cain cry. "It was my fault"

Chas shook her head "That's ridiculous"

"No, no it's not, he mentioned needing money the other day, now I know why…I should have just helped him, I didn't realise it was bad but I should have"

"Cain…don't be stupid, this isn't your fault, I don't blame you, I blame that scumbag and I'm going to make sure he pays for what he's done, send him down for a very long time"

Cain nodded as he wiped his eyes and he gripped Aaron's hand. "We're here kid, just wake up soon"

The lump in Chas' throat was very persistent as she got up to walk round to Cain and the tears fell once again when she leaned down and hugged her brother. "Don't blame yourself, I don't" she told him and Cain nodded and blew out a deep breath. "He'll be alright, he's a fighter"

"He is" Chas replied positively as she let go of Cain and stood looking down at her son.

* * *

**TBC…**


	35. Gone

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"Gone"**

* * *

Two weeks had now passed since Aaron had been discharged from hospital after his week-long stay; he was now sat in his counsellor's office, a comfortable one it was too but quite bare, her certificates of qualifications hung on the wall behind her desk, there was quite a few and he wondered if those qualifications would be enough for her to make sense of his mind, she'd have to be smart too because he couldn't understand himself at the moment, he was in need of help and he hadn't argued either when his mum suggested it.

Aaron blew out a deep breath as he scratched his heavy stubble; it was itching now after the weeks of allowing it to grow. He felt terrible too, sick to his stomach nearly every minute of each day, the shakes were slowly subsiding but the cravings weren't, they were rooted in deep once again, the difference was he didn't want to touch the drugs again. He wanted to get through it once like he had before only this time in a way he was alone; he was doing it alone because Jackson, the man he loved so much had gone. He'd left him and gone on holiday from what Hazel had told him but a few days ago he had arrived back in the village with not so much as a look, it hurt Aaron it added to the pain that was already there.

He looked up when the door clicked as the handle was pushed down, his counsellor who was a very warm and caring woman by the name of Laura walked in, he guessed she was in her mid-thirties she certainly didn't look any older than that. He smiled slightly at her as she walked to her desk. "I'm sorry to keep you waiting; I had to take a call"

Aaron nodded. "It's okay"

Once she got settled and opened up Aaron's file she spoke again. "So, I've spoken to your mum and reviewed all your information, your drug history and your HIV and recently what happened leading to your admittance to hospital"

Aaron nodded. "I guess it doesn't make for easy reading"

Laura smiled. "I've read worse Aaron, so the way in which your battle with drugs was initiated once again; I imagine you must feel very bitter and angry towards the man who did that to you"

Aaron scoffed and nodded. "You have no idea"

"No but I do have some idea"

"I-I worked so hard that's all" he said in a sigh and sat back in the sofa. "I fought so hard against it and with myself and I'm doing it all again. I won't lie, if Rob wasn't in prison right now I'd hunt him down and do some major damage to him, he knew what he was doing and what makes it worse is that he got off on it, he loved it"

"It's only natural to feel the way you do Aaron. Do you feel the urge to seek out some drugs and use?"

Aaron nodded slowly. "But I don't want them"

"Well that's good" Laura said with a smile. "And how confident are you that you'll remain drug free?"

"Very, yeah" Aaron nodded and his tone was confident, he knew he wouldn't go back to that, Rob forced it on him, it wasn't by choice so his choice in staying drug free was an easy one, that was just a very unexpected bump in the road. "And I've got this addiction group I go to every week so they help too"

Laura smiled she was happy and convinced there was no danger of him slipping back into old habits. "Alright then, I'll move on…your mother has informed me of a drinking problem that's seemed to have cropped up"

Aaron sighed loudly and shook his head as he looked down at the carpet.

Laura frowned and raised an eyebrow. "You aren't happy about that?"

"No" Aaron replied harshly as he looked back up at her. "She needs to learn when to keep her mouth shut, I don't have a drinking problem and you know maybe if she focuses on her life more than she does mine she'd stop seeing things that aren't there!"

"I won't pretend to know you or your situation but experience has taught me that when a mother worries and brings it up it's for good reason Aaron. It is your life and you can do what you want with it but alcohol problems are just as bad as drug ones and you know that aswell as I do, you claim you don't have a problem, that's the usual response"

Aaron frowned and shook his head.

"Alright then, how much do you drink?"

Aaron simply shrugged.

"Okay, how about how many times a day do you go to the pub?"

"A few" Aaron grumbled in reply.

"Shots or pints, wine? What's your poison?" she asked.

"Lager, sometimes a few shots of vodka"

"Alright how many pints a day?"

Aaron shrugged his shoulders and rubbed his face in annoyance. "I don't keep count, a few…maybe more…or…alright maybe too much in some people's opinion but not enough in mine"

"Ah" she said with a proud smile as if she'd won a prize. "And there we have it"

"Have what?" Aaron asked as he rolled his eyes and sat forward but Laura sat back in hers with a smile on her face.

"People believe that drinking blocks out a pain, and while it might it doesn't last long. I'm right to say that your boyfriend left you recently?" she asked.

"I don't want to talk about him"

"Maybe you should"

Aaron quickly shook his head. "But I don't want too"

"Okay I'm not going to force you Aaron but maybe in time you'll want too, I'm here to help you, but do remember that your actions leave other people picking up the pieces"

"I'm well aware of that fact"

Laura nodded. "Maybe then, keep an eye on how much you're drinking, for your own sake"

Aaron nodded. "Alright, alright I will but I don't have a problem and I'll be telling her that as soon as I get back home"

Laura didn't reply as she wrote down a few notes, she begged to differ she'd seen the very same denial in a lot of other people, all she could do was try and prevent but if not help them. At the moment Aaron's heart was broken and he was trying to numb the pain, it was possibly more of just a phase than a problem at the present time. "Alright we're done for this week Aaron, I'll see you at the same time next week" she said with a smile and Aaron simply got to his feet, thanked her and walked to the door.

When Aaron opened the door he stopped and turned to her, he was biting his lip and hesitated before he spoke. "I don't know what's keeping him in the village because it certainly isn't me, I-it's probably his mum but you know what, he knows he's rubbing it in and its killing me seeing him every day because the truth is he's gone to me and I don't see a way of ever getting him back" he told her sadly and Laura really didn't know what to say to the young broken lad standing by her door and before she could speak he'd walked out.

* * *

**TBC…**


	36. The Flashback

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"The Flashback"**

* * *

Frustrated and angry with a bunch of other emotions mixed in too, Aaron barged into the pub pointing at his mum straight away with a bar full of locals enjoying a nice drink. "Who the hell do you think you are!" he raged as he stormed over to the bar. "Go to counselling Aaron it'll help you" he quoted her in a mocking voice. "I didn't actually think you'd tell her everything!"

Chas sighed. "I think you need to calm down" she told him with a slight nod then looked around the bar; trying to reiterate to him that everyone was looking at him.

"No! Why should I! And so what if everyone's looking, they all know my business anyway"

Jackson was sat in the far corner of the pub with Hazel and simply sighed and hung his head as he brought his pint to his lips.

"You need to stay out of my life!" he growled angrily then slammed his hands on the bar, his face was flushed red and his breathing was rapid. "I do not have a drinking problem and the quicker you realise that the better!"

"She needs to be aware of my worries Aaron" Chas replied calmly.

"Your worries?" he said then let out a loud laugh. "Yeah alright! You just pay more attention to your life instead of mine; I'm fine on my own"

"Oh is that right?" she asked

"Damn right" he told her calmly as he looked her square in the eyes then he stepped back and turned around and headed out of the pub.

Hazel looked at Jackson and knew how uncomfortable he was before she even set eyes on him. "Don't you think it's about time you spoke to him? This is getting ridiculous now and his behaviour is a cry for…well for you"

"Not happening mum" he told her while shaking his head.

"Well then tell me why you are here - still"

"For you, making up for lost time, all the time I spent with him, I missed you but if you'd rather I go elsewhere then that's fine"

Hazel immediately shook her head, she didn't want that, not at all and she told her son that. "But I do think you know your presence here is bothering him"

"Yeah?" Jackson said with a smirk then within a second it disappeared when he said "Good, so it should, after what he's put me through it's the least he deserves, I'm staying in this village mum, I've got friends here, the business is doing great and if you or anyone else thinks I'm going to up and leave because of some bloke then you're all mistaken" he told her sharply then got to his feet.

"W-wait where are you going love?" Hazel asked in a panic, she hated crossing a line with her son which was a rare event.

"Somewhere that isn't here" Jackson told her as he started to walk off.

…

Aaron hadn't been in long before he grabbed a can of lager from the fridge and slumped down on the sofa in the living room, he cracked open the can and took a long swig. He sighed; the quiet was what did it, no Jackson wandering around humming along to the latest hit on the radio while he made their tea, no Jackson at all. He hung his head clearly heartbroken.

"_Aaron I have to tell you something" Jackson told him as Aaron sat down on the sofa. _

"_Can it wait? I've just got home from the hospital"_

"_Yeah" Jackson swallowed hard. "I know that but it's important"_

_Aaron frowned and watched Jackson, he didn't seem right, nothing had since he'd woken up in hospital a few days before, his mum and Jackson had been acting strangely. "Alright then" he told him. _

_Jackson was shaking as he sat down on the sofa beside him and Aaron all of a sudden felt a feeling of dread wash over him, the look in his boyfriends eyes was one he had never seen before, they were empty. "I um…" Jackson stopped and cleared his throat while he rubbed his hands together slowly. "I'm going away Aaron"_

_Aaron's heart pounded at those words and a wave of heat hit him. "Away?" he asked with a shaky breath. _

_Jackson nodded and finally turned to face him. "Yeah…a- a holiday for a couple of weeks, get my head straight"_

"_N-No hang on a second this doesn't sound like the Jackson I know"_

"_It's because I'm not the Jackson you know anymore Aaron, all of this has drained me – you've drained me and I'm angry, exhausted and I need to leave before I'm hurt anymore, I took a bullet because of you" Jackson told him firmly and Aaron looked away as tears filled his eyes. "I've taken many things from you and because you couldn't just be honest with us I got a bullet, I could have died Aaron, a few inches lower and that would have been it"_

"_I'm sorry" Aaron muttered through his silent tears. _

"_Sorry? That's not good enough anymore, I love you I do but you never change, I can't save you anymore and whatever we had it's over, I'm sorry but it's the way it has to be"_

"_No Jackson please, this isn't the way, I love you, I was just scared I didn't want you to get hurt"_

"_I do believe that but you have to think about things in future because I won't be here to help you anymore" he told him as he got up and quickly Aaron reached out and grabbed his arm. _

"_No please Jackson, don't do this, I'm sorry, I don't want you to leave me, I need you"_

_Tears ran down Jackson's face as he shook his head as he looked down at Aaron. "You've hurt me Aaron, you've pushed and pushed me and I can't take you anymore, can you please get off my arm please your hurting me" he told him bluntly and Aaron quickly removed his hands from his arm and realised he was pulling on the arm closest to the gunshot wound. His eyes widened and he shot up to his feet. "I-I'm sorry I forgot, please Jackson I can make this work, I can change"_

_Jackson stormed off but Aaron followed. "You can't change Aaron and to tell the truth I don't want this to work anymore"_

_When they walked into the kitchen Aaron saw his mum standing against a bench, he frowned and it all clicked into place. He began to sob now and he angrily pointed at his mum. "You knew!" he raged. _

_Chas walked over to him with her arms out. "I-I tried to stop him Aaron" she said as she took him in her arms but he fought and pulled away. _

"_So that's it" he sobbed out as he looked at Jackson standing in the tiny hallway. "You're just going to go like that, after everything?" Aaron asked as he wiped his tears away and Jackson simply nodded. "AFTER EVERYTHING!" Aaron yelled. _

"_After everything" Jackson replied with a nod and he pulled open the front door. "Just get better yeah, it'll help your mum and everyone a hell of a lot, there's a letter upstairs for you, read it when you're ready"_

"_I'm not reading a damn thing from you, get out! And so can you!" he yelled and he turned to his mum and started pushing her towards Jackson. "I want to be alone"_

"_Love" Chas sighed. "I tried so hard"_

"_She did" Jackson told him. _

"_Not hard enough, I love you Jackson!"_

"_Yeah well something's got to give eh?" Jackson asked with a small smile. "We'll have just destroyed ourselves given time, see ya around Aaron" Jackson spoke while looking right into his teary blue eyes, his heart was breaking but it had to be done. _

"_Just get out" Aaron told them weakly and as the front door closed, it hit him and he fell to his knees in the kitchen and he sobbed so hard his body hurt. Jackson was gone because of him. _

Aaron bolted up, his vision was hazy he'd fallen asleep. He sighed and shook his head. "Another nightmare?" Adam's voice came out of nowhere as he walked into the living room.

"What? How did you get in?"

Adam chuckled. "The door was unlocked mate, well?"

"Same one, every time and every time it leaves me feeling as sad as I did the day he left"

"Well he's back in the village now, what you doing to do?"

Aaron scoffed and shrugged his shoulders. "What can I do?"

"Fight mate, fight for this love…" Adam sang but stopped when Aaron glared at him. "Alright but in all seriousness, fight for him" he told him as he swiped the can of lager from his hand. "And this has to stop too"

"Not a chance!" Aaron raised his voice and snatched it back. "It helps me sleep"

"Obviously, it's the middle of the day Aaron"

"So"

"So…it's not normal behaviour now is it?"

"Just go back to the farm Adam, leave me to…"

"What?" Adam interrupted. "To wallow in your sadness, I don't think so you're going to get upstairs, clean yourself up and oh yeah a shave might be good too"

Aaron raised an eyebrow at him and shook his head.

"Now before I drag you upstairs" Adam warned him but Aaron gave in seconds later and got to his feet.

"What are you like my guardian angel or something?" he asked on his way out.

"Nah mate, he's down the road, I'm just your mate looking out for ya"

"Yeah right" his words trailed off as he walked through the kitchen. Why couldn't people just leave him alone?

When Aaron had cleaned himself up he walked back downstairs and Adam was sat at the kitchen table. Sarcastically he grinned and held out his arms. "I'm shaved and freshened up"

"Good, you look about twelve, you might not get served for drink now" Adam told him with an equally as big grin.

Aaron sighed loudly and dropped down into a chair. "Right lets clear some stuff up shall we, my drinking doesn't affect you directly does it?"

Adam folded up the paper and placed it down. "No" he replied even though he hated admitting it.

"Well then like I've told my mum, please just let me get on with it, I just have to get used to-" Aaron stopped and looked away.

"Get used to no Jackson?"

Aaron nodded.

"Who says you have too, he's right here in this village and I refuse to believe he's sticking around here for his mum, mate you have to talk to him"

"And say what? I'm sorry I ruined your life and got you shot, come on Adam, sorry won't cut it and I can't think of anything I can do"

"Well you could show him you've changed; outbursts in the pub don't necessarily show him that now does it?" Aaron shook his head. "Just try and talk to him, general chit chat first you know, but importantly show him you've changed"

Aaron scoffed and rubbed his forehead. Adam sat forward and looked at his best mate. "What?" he asked. Aaron looked up at him again and shrugged. "I just…I dunno Adam; I haven't changed though have I? I don't think so, not really"

"You're going through a tough time, the man you loved walked out on you, now maybe you know exactly how you're meant to be in a relationship so that next time you don't lose him, whoever he may be"

"It'll be Jackson and I do know now you're right but I just don't think he'll give me the time of day"

"You won't know unless you try"

"True and if all else fails I'll just have to cop a feel of you eh?"

Adam chuckled. "Don't even try it mate"

"Nah, I'm only joking…but I miss him you know, the closeness the hugs, having him here…"

Adam nodded, he understood him completely. "He'll be back but you have to work for him"

"I'll try"

Adam smiled. "Good, now get your jacket on, we're going into town for some food"

"What's wrong with Marlon's special?" Aaron asked as they got up and walked to the door.

"Jackson's there and it'll give you some time to think of what to say"

"Fair enough" Aaron smiled slightly as he opened the front door "Cheers"

"Don't thank me yet" Adam replied as they stepped out of the house. After he'd locked up Aaron turned and saw Jackson walking out of the pub down the village, he watched for a few seconds before Adam tugged his jacket. "Come on, plenty of time to talk to him"

Aaron nodded, Adam was right there was plenty of time and he needed time to think about how he was going to approach him, he couldn't mess it up.

* * *

**TBC…**


	37. Every Day I Love You

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-How To Save A Life-**

**"Every Day I Love You"**

* * *

A normal night was what it was meant to be, a normal night where two mates grabbed something to eat together; Adam was hopeful too that it would go without any incident on Aaron's part, how wrong was he? Before they even got into town Aaron had started an argument on the bus because he didn't agree with what Adam was saying about his consumption of alcohol lately, that soured it all before they arrived. But when they got to the restaurant things got worse, at the end of the argument on the bus Aaron promised not to drink but then there he was sat telling the waiter he wanted a double vodka and red bull. He could see and hear Adam's objections but he simply shrugged at his best mate.

Because of Aaron's blatant promise break they didn't really speak during their meal; Adam was hurt, seeing Aaron the way he was, and the fact that Aaron knew what he was doing to himself made it even worse.

Aaron hardly touched his food, he wasn't interested if he was honest, he simply saw the outing as a way to have a drink, Adam couldn't stop him and if he did, well, Aaron wouldn't think twice about protecting his need and stopping him from taking it away. With a burning desire to go to the loo Aaron got up and left the table, he could feel Adam's eyes on him as he left. Aaron sighed and rolled his eyes as he walked away to the toilets, he couldn't cope with the snobby attitude anymore, him being looked down on by his mate; a mate, he didn't think mates did that but of course he was a wild one, always needed looking after, Aaron scoffed, they could all go to hell he did not need looking after, he just wanted a drink and he'd succeeded this time, again…he always did.

When Aaron had relieved himself he peaked out from the toilet doorway into the restaurant and checked if Adam was looking, thankfully he wasn't. Aaron left quickly and done a bunk, he'd have a few minutes head start to the nearest pub before Adam realised at least.

…

The pub was busy, a good night all round, chatter and laughter filled the woolpack by many of the locals; Jackson sat with his mum and Bob on one table not too far from Cain and Tom. Jackson wasn't intentionally listening to their conversation but he was intrigued. But he had to face facts, any mention of Aaron and his ear pricked up. He missed him and loved him so, so much, he'd left him for good reason but now looking at the effects of that, the excessive alcohol issue, it did make him regret leaving, but why should he go against his feelings of wanting out just to save a life? Jackson sighed and hung his head and stared down into his pint and tried to focus his ears on the mind numbing conversation going on between his mum and Bob, he tried a guess, was it bob talking about what cakes he'd have for the café the next day or something arty from his mum…he groaned, cakes, cake and more bloody cake, bob needed a life but then again, so did he, sat in the pub with his mum at his age? He flicked up his eyebrows and shook his head slightly as he lifted his pint to his lips.

"What's up lad you've been off for weeks, proper quiet at work and you don't bat an eyelid to my orders, you normally do since you grew some balls" Cain told Tom with a smirk.

Tom smirked and shyly looked away for a second before looking back at his boss. He shrugged. "I've just been thinking about Aaron a lot, that's all. N-Not in that way before you start-"

"Oh aye" Cain interrupted with a grin.

Tom rolled his eyes and blew out a breath. "Guilt, that's all I feel when I think about him or hear his name mentioned, pure guilt and I can't shake it off"

Cain frowned. "What have you got to feel guilty about?"

"I overheard the conversation between the two of you when you gave him his pay before he was kidnapped, he said he needed money"

"Ah" Cain said with a slight nod. "You should have said, mate there was nothing you could have done"

"No, not money wise but help wise I could have yeah, if I had been here the night he was taken he wouldn't have been pumped with heroin and now, once again suffering and the drinking" Tom sighed and hung his head, Cain frowned and placed his hand on his shoulder.

"There was nothing you could have done mate, I could have but he didn't open his mouth and give me the reason why he needed it, he brushed it off as nothing, I should have known better, I think the both of us need to stop feeling guilty, I do too, but it won't get us anywhere alright?" he asked and Tom nodded in reply. "And this drinking business, that's mainly to do with Jackson, I don't blame the lad for getting out but Aaron's pretty cut up about it all, he'd hurting so he's drinking instead, but it won't be just that it'll be all of it, the HIV, Paddy maybe, the drugs, who knows"

"He does" Tom added quietly.

"Yeah, plenty of people to help and listen but he doesn't want help and he certainly doesn't talk about stuff"

"I think it's about time he did"

Cain started to chuckle. "And you're going to make him are ya?"

"No I'm just saying"

"I know kid, the only way he's going to talk is if he hits an even lower point, doesn't sound good I know but it's the truth"

Tom sighed. "I wish I could help him"

"We can but he doesn't want it mate, nothing we can do"

"So you're giving up then?"

"No" Cain snapped back quite harshly. "I'm here that's all I can do at the minute"

Tom nodded. "Yeah, sorry"

…

An hour had now passed since Adam realised Aaron had gone from the restaurant, he'd searched every single bar so far and hadn't seen him, it was either he'd missed him and was ahead of him or just way, way behind, walking the streets of Hotten was not how he wanted to spend his night, especially when he was up early for work the next day. See one of the problems was, Aaron didn't consider that, it was alright for him to wander off and get bladdered but it was everyone else who picked up the pieces like Adam would tonight, get home late probably then wake up shattered for a long knackering day on the farm in the morning and Aaron would most likely sleep half the day,_ must be nice eh…_Adam was beginning to get really pissed off, he still couldn't find him!

Eventually however he did. A lucky second look in bar west on his way to find a taxi with or without him. He was relieved to find him safe but yet he was angered by the sight of him and in a quick pace he stormed over to him, ignoring whatever drink he was holding or who he was talking too and he grabbed him and pulled him back, it was clear by the stench coming from him that he was steaming drunk not to mention the uncoordinated movements, speech and balance issues he was having.

"You can try all you want to start an argument with me mate it's not happening, I've been looking all over for you! You think this is funny?"

"Am I laughing?" Aaron cockily replied.

"No and you know what, you won't be when you wake up tomorrow either! We came out to get away, to talk about getting you Jackson back, what a waste of time you are, you don't deserve him mate" Adam told him as they stopped in front of a taxi and pulled open the door. "Get in; if you puke you're paying" Aaron simply pulled a disgruntled look as he awkwardly got into the back of the taxi.

…

Aaron unsteadily walked down into the village after being dropped off at the top. Adam wasn't seeing him home, he'd had enough. Aaron did intend to go home but when he saw the pub was still open he grinned, it wasn't as late as he thought it was, he continued down the village to the pub.

When he walked in he heard chatter but it wasn't busy as it probably was. Aaron always made an entrance and he stumbled in and fell to the floor when his foot tripped on the leg of a small stool.

Dan was helping Chas clear up behind the bar, he'd seen Aaron fall and rolled his eyes instantly knowing he was drunk as he rushed around to help, he was met half way by Cameron too who had gotten up to help, they acknowledged each other with a knowing look and continued to pull the lad to his feet.

Aaron grinned when he was stood looking at the fine men in front of him. "Oh what's this eh? Threesome, come on then why not"

Dan shook his head and sighed "How much you drank Aaron?" he asked as Chas watched from behind the bar and Jackson watched from his table, Bob and his mum had left a while ago and he chose to stay to wallow in his pint and the ones following.

Aaron scratched his forehead and pulled a confused look. "Problem there gorgeous, I don't keep count"

"Too much then" he replied then looked to Cameron. "Cheers mate I've got him now"

Cameron nodded with a smile and walked back to Debbie.

Dan pulled Aaron along. "Come on you're staying here tonight"

"Is that an invitation?" Aaron asked with a chuckle. "I-I've always fancied you, ya know"

"Yep I know mate but you're embarrassing yourself now"

"SO?" Aaron asked with a raised voice.

"So? Oh okay then, well I'll remind you in the morning then let's see how embarrassed you aren't in front of everyone then shall we?"

"Do what you want!" something had snapped inside and Aaron turned angry and he harshly pulled away from Dan's hold.

"Oh come on son, don't be like this, just go in the back and sober up a bit" Chas told him.

"I don't want to, I want a drink, mum come on, pint please"

Chas firmly shook her head.

Frustrated, Dan walked back over to him "Aaron! Now move it, in the back"

Aaron scoffed and angrily pulled away once more and stepped back. "Who the hell do you think you are? You're not my dad!"

By this time Jackson had heard and seen more than enough, if Aaron didn't realise Jackson was there before he certainly did now, Jackson walked right by him as he left the pub.

Dan took a breath when he saw Jackson leave. "You think that's fair do ya! I might not be your dad but I'm as good as Aaron, driving into town in the middle of the night to pick you up cause you have no money to get home, look after you once we are home, clean up your sick, get you into bed, picking you up is fine but I did not have to do that other stuff but I did because I cared and I still do! I understand why you do what you do but you are going to kill yourself and none of us are going to stand by and let that happen, you're going to have a struggle on your hands kid, let's see you try and carry on with this drinking"

Menacingly Aaron leaned in close and got into Dan's face. "Just watch me" he told him quickly then turned and headed to the doors and momentarily was out in the cold dark night once more. His scuffled footsteps had caught Jackson's attention further down the village and he turned and stood still and just watched the younger lad, he really missed him and that longing urged him back up the way he'd came.

Not even a minute later Jackson stopped at one of the tables outside the pub looking down on a drunken unaware Aaron. "You have to stop all this Aaron"

Aaron looked up quickly and saw the man he missed and loved, tears filled his eyes. "I didn't know you were in there"

Jackson took in a breath as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Would it have made a difference?"

Aaron shrugged and hung his head. "Probably not"

Jackson nodded and looked around the silent village for a second before looking back at him.

"Why did you leave me?" Aaron asked as he sobbed.

"You know why Aaron, I couldn't take it anymore"

"But now I can't take it" Aaron told him.

Jackson sadly nodded. "I can see that. I left you because of my own feelings on things but I left also to test you, and I'm telling you babe you've failed massively"

At those words Aaron held his head in his hands. He wasn't angry, he understood.

"I was hurt physically and emotionally, a year of constant struggle Aaron, you know how I felt because in your own way you felt it all too, I had to get away, heal and have a break, now I do love you and I do want you but you have to sort yourself out before someone finds you in a ditch dead because you've drank too much, it happens!"

"But I need it Jackson, you don't understand"

"One addiction for another then is that it?"

"I didn't intend on it, if that's what you mean"

"You sure?"

"Yes" Aaron hissed. "B-But in all seriousness can you blame me? Can ya? After everything?"

Jackson hung his head and shook it, he couldn't blame him. "But…it's not the right thing to be doing"

"I love you Jackson" Aaron told him shakily. "I've always loved you and you've always been there for me, why can't you be there now?"

"I'm not superman Aaron, I can't do everything and I can't look after you twenty four seven, everything before this yeah I could but this, this was done intentionally, kick the booze Aaron and life might just seem a little brighter, get yourself sorted and we'll see what happens down the road, until then you're on your own as far as you and me are concerned"

"S-So you're sticking around then?"

Jackson nodded. "Against my better judgement but yes I am"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I'm very wary of what might happen between us if I do"

"I won't screw it up again Jackson"

"But they're just words Aaron, prove it and sort yourself out, my mums an adult, you didn't really think I was still here because of her did ya? I've been hurt that's all yeah, a few weeks out of the picture doesn't amount to a full year of a sort of hell Aaron"

"I know" Aaron replied quietly.

"Right well get back in there and apologise and for god sake just do what they tell ya"

"Okay" Aaron replied as he got up from the table unsteadily but Jackson reached out to help him steady himself and when his hand touched his arm Aaron looked up into Jackson's eyes instantly, a surge of electricity a charge of power bolted through him. "I-It's still there isn't it?" he asked quietly.

Jackson looked down at his hand on Aaron's arm for a second then looked back at him and despite the feelings he felt in that moment and the answer being yes he simply replied with "We'll see, goodnight Aaron"

"Goodnight" Aaron replied then he started walking back. Once up in the doorway he stopped when Jackson called out.

"Oh and erm maybe put a mute on that inner perv yeah?" he called to Aaron with a smirk on his lips.

Aaron smirked and sheepishly nodded before turning away and walking inside. Jackson was the only person who truly made him happy and whatever just happened he took as a good sign, but it would be him alone who would determine their fate and could he, most of all fix himself without Jackson?

* * *

**TBC…**


End file.
